“LILY!” Alice shouted after me. I kept running. “LILY! STOP RUNNING!” But I didn’t. Not until I had reached the safety of my bed did I turn around and face her.
“What the hell was that?” She asked loudly.
“Nothing!” I replied. “Nothing! What makes you think that was anything! It wasn’t. I don’t like him!” A slight edge of hysteria was creeping its way into my voice.
“I didn’t say you did…” She said, raising an eyebrow.
“Well I don’t! He’s---He’s--Oh, Allie. He’s perfect for me isn’t he? He’s MADE himself perfect for me. This, this game has to stop. I can’t let him keep being nice to me. I don’t know what to do anymore…” I whispered frantically.
“Why not just fall for him?”
Why not just fall…
“Because I can’t!” I screamed.
Silence, then “I can’t. He knows what he’s doing. He doesn’t actually like me, he’s just pretending and I can’t--I won’t get hurt.“ At this she made a movement as though to say something but I stopped her. “This is going to stop, Allie. Whatever we were going towards, friends or whatever, it has to stop.”
With that, I walked out of the dorm, leaving her gaping in my wake.
Wednesday mornings are the best. I mean, not only are you halfway through the week, but it’s also called hump day! Oh, and I don’t have any classes with (et hem)he-who-must-not-be-named.
Oh, you know what I mean.
Actually no, I don’t…
Shut up Carrot. I’m not in the mood for your nonsense today. And we’ve been over this. You’re my brain, so if I know, you know.
Oooh, you really shut me down there.
Someone behind me coughed loudly. I whipped around. “What?” I asked waspishly.
“Nice growl, Evans.” Sirius Black said, smirking. I growled out loud?
“Whatever.” I said, rolling my eyes.
“Nice comeback.” He sniggered.
You’re just full of them today!
Shut up, Carrot!
I looked up into Black’s eyes. He was giving me a really strange look. Oh god. Oh no. Please no--
“Did you just call me Carrot?” Shit.
He burst out laughing. Smirking (Goddamn! Does this boy ever smile?), he said, “I like you, Evans.” Still chuckling, he walked off.
That was weird…Shaking my head, I took a right down a short corridor then down two sets of steps to the dungeons. I couldn’t think about Black now, I had potions. Nice, logical potions. Add one ingredient, get one result. Nothing complicated. None of my friends take this class because they don’t understand it. I’m pretty sure Lissa has exploded more cauldrons than Black and Potter combined. Therefore, I look forward to a nice, quiet class where I can think about everything without friends jabbering away into my ear or Potter trying to ask me out.
I walked into the classroom ready for class. Today, we were doing the customary ‘first day of NEWT potions’ class. From what I had heard from seventh years and above, we got to see different difficult potions and then attempt to make one. With one look around, I knew I was right. There was a different one on each desk (I could name all of them but one. I’m a nerd. It’s cool.) and I settled on sitting at the desk with the potion I didn’t know. It was pinkish-white with a pearly sheen, and it smelled heavenly. Like laundry detergent and grass and something spicy I couldn’t recognize.
In a daze of happiness from the fumes, I looked around the class. There were a couple of snooty Ravenclaws sitting in the front few desks, looking interestedly at the different cauldrons. There was one solitary Hufflepuff who seemed a bit green. There were two Gryffies (excluding myself) that I recognized as Mary McIntyre (how she got into NEWT level potions I’ll never know) and Carson Locke. And then, looking quite creepy in the corners of the room were the Slytherins. Bletchy was in the back right, Macnair in the back left, and sitting in front of Bletchey, scribbling in his book, was Severus Snape. I looked away.
“Okay, Ladies and Gentlemen. Let’s begin. Welcome to--” Slughorn paused in his lecture as James Potter came sauntering through the door.
What in the name of Merlin’s soggiest handkerchief is he doing here?
“Sorry I’m late, Professor.” He smiled charmingly at Sluggie, who grinned back.
“Quite alright. Just take a seat behind Miss Evans and we can begin. As I was saying…”
“Hey Evans.” Potter whispered, smirking. I wonder…does Black get it from him or does he get it from Black?
“Hi.” I replied shortly, then turned back to Slughorn. At this point he was telling us about Veritaserum. I tried to look interested.
“What’s going on?” He whispered back.
I groaned. “Nothing.” I hissed. Why is he talking to me? I turned back to the front just as Slughorn came to my table.
“This right here…can anyone tell me what this is?”
Someone muttered something. “What was that, Mr. Snape?”
“That’s right. Amortentia is an extremely strong love potion. When made properly, it smells like exactly what attracts you. I would advise against attempting to make this yourself. Not only is it a bad idea to ‘make’ someone fall in love with you, but the side-affects should you do it wrong are disastrous. Now, can anyone tell me what side affects…” And he was off again to the other side of the room, leaving me free to daydream.
God, but this potion smells good. I kind of feel like I’m getting high off of it. Which is…you know…bad and shit…
JUST SAY NO, LILY!
“Miss Evans has been kind enough to display what happens when one is exposed to the fumes of Amortentia for long enough.” Slughorn’s voice rang through the dungeon, pulling me out of my stupor. “I apologize, Miss Evans, I had forgotten.” With a lazy flick of his wand, the potion disappeared.
I glanced at the clock. There was a fly buzzing around in dizzying circles nearby which made it hard to concentrate on the numbers. Only ten minutes had passed.
I tried to pay attention to what Sluggy was saying, but to be honest, I knew everything already and besides, I wasn’t interested until we started actually making them.
I glanced casually behind me at Potter. He was taking notes, his head bent studiously over a piece of paper.
I did a double take but yes, it was true--James Potter was taking notes. I stared incredulously at his head until he looked up and winked at me.
Mother of Merlin. Why does he always wink at me?
I turned back to Slughorn in time to catch the words, “You will be brewing the Draught of Living Death. Or at least attempting. The instructions are in your book. Begin!”
Grinning, I stood up and skipped over to the cabinet to grab my ingredients. Returning to my seat, I found that I was missing one very crucial ingredient. Pouting slightly, I tripped back over to the supplies and searched for the powdered wormwood.
Naturally, it’s on the very top shelf.
Now, I am not exactly the tallest person in the world. I mean, I’m not a midget, but I am a bit short.
Heh. A bit?
Snarky-ness is most unbecoming, Carrot.
Which leaves me at a dilemma. How in the name of all that is holy am I supposed to grab that?
I pondered for a minute. JUMPING! Yes! I could JUMP! Score one for Lily! Crouching down, I gathered all my strength and jumped as high as I could. Nothing.
I tried again. Nothing.
Okay, this is just annoying. Snape’s already halfway done with his potion and I’m still having trouble finding ingredients!
I readied myself to jump again, when a deep voice said behind me, “Need some help?” James.
I blushed and said, “Yes, thank you.” From behind me, he reached up and it was like time stood still. I knew he was behind me, I could feel heat radiating from his chest to my back. I felt so safe, safer than I’d felt in a long time. Suddenly I could smell my Amortentia potion all around me. I breathed in deeply, sighing. I didn’t stop to wonder why I could smell it.
And before I knew it, the moment was over. Reality came crashing down over my ears. “Here, Evans.” He said, handing me the ingredient.
“Thanks.” I muttered distractedly.
As I stood over my half-finished potion, stirring on auto-pilot, I pondered this: Why does my heart jump in my chest every time he says my name? Why does he smell like what attracts me? And why can’t I bring myself to ignore him like I said I would?
One week later…
I’m not sure why, but I get the idea that Lily is ignoring me. Like usually if I said something pratty to her she would glare at me at the very least, but now she just turns her head like I’m not even there. Or after potions, I try to walk with her to Defense Against the Dark Arts but she leaves before I can even say her name. It’s bloody confusing. I mean, we snogged a week ago and now she can’t even look at me.
But that’s all about to change. Yesterday, I got an owl from McGonagall with the date and time of our first detention. Lissa and Sirius will be scrubbing the trophy room, while Lily and I (that sounds so right…) will be scrubbing the Great Hall. Sounds a bit unfair to me, but I guess we switch next week and then scrub cauldrons the next week after that. Anyways, Evans will HAVE to talk to me.
Oh bloody fucking no. No way. Detention with James, alone, for hours? What is McGonagall playing at? Sometimes I get the idea that the old bint is trying to set James and I up. Now that I think about it, all the teachers might be too! Sluggy has us sit in close proximity, Flitwick makes us sit together…Hell, even the new Defense instructor Donagin has us being partners! Bloody hell…it’s a conspiracy!
Ohmygod. I bet they meet in secret every other Wednesday to discuss their progress and make plans together!
OHMYGOD I BET THEY SLIP POTTER PICK UP LINES! YES! IT ALL FITS!
How could I not have figured this out before! It all makes sense!
And this is where you’ve finally gone round the bend, Lily. I would smack you but I don’t have hands.
Carrot, don’t even. You have to see how perfectly this all fits. I SHOULD GO TELL LISSA!
*sigh* Clearly nothing I say makes a difference.
I skipped off happily. Okay, screw skipping, within seconds I was flat-out running. I sprinted to the portrait hole and across the common room, leaping over a sofa. I made it to the girl’s stairs and jogged up them, taking the steps two at a time. I could see the door to the dorm!
What I did NOT see, however, was the fluffy grey cat escaping from the 3rd year girls dorm. Suddenly I was tripping over something soft, my arms were flailing, and then before I knew it I was falling backwards. I vaguely realized that I was screaming, but the moment was so fast that nothing made sense.
Seconds from landing head first onto the common room floor, I found myself instead in a pair of warm, sturdy arms. I breathed hard. The person was holding me like a baby. I relaxed against their chest and inhaled the scent of them.
Pepper. Parchment. Laundry detergent.
Everything seemed to crystallize. I looked up at him. He looked down at me. He looked terrified.
“Lily.” He whispered, like a prayer. “Lily I almost…what if I hadn‘t been there?”
I exhaled and let him bring me to his chest. Looking at his tightly closed eyes, I wanted to stroke his hair and tell him that everything was okay, I was okay, that I was safe now.
Safe in his arms.
“LILY!” Lissa shouted from the top of the stairs. James jumped a foot and almost dropped me. The moment was lost. I let go of him, tumbled out of his embrace, and walked stiffly up the stairs.
Then, I turned and said softly, “Thank you.” I then continued up the the dormitory. Once there, I flung myself onto my bed.
“Bloody fuck, Lily! What the hell was that?” Lissa screeched.
Damnit. What WAS that?
Didn’t I tell myself to stop? Didn’t I? ‘He doesn’t really care for you. You’re just another game he has to win.
‘But the way he looked after I fell…WAS AN ACT. You know that.’ I mentally chided myself. ‘You are done. This is stopping.’
Taking a huge, shuddering breath in, I turned to Lissa and said, “Nothing. That was absolutely nothing.”
A/N: So, it's been a while. This chapter hopefully makes up for that, because it's long!
But probably not.
Anyways, Please Review even though i'm a crappy updater!
Write a Review Let's Pretend: Of Sirius Black, Amortentia, and Just Say No.