I glared at my plate of dinner as I sat at the Gryffindor table, flicking my glare up occasionally in the direction of Naomi Smith, who was sat at the Slytherin table flirting with her new boy, Nott.
I despised her. I was jealous of her. How was it fair that she was fine? How was it fair that she was the only one who wasn't upset about anything, and yet she was the one who had found her boyfriend in a broom closet kissing another girl?
It wasn't normal.
I'd always imagined James and Naomi's break up would have been cause for celebration, but it had been anything but that. I'd never considered that Naomi would have been the one to end the relationship, to move on to somebody else within a day. I'd thought that James would have broken up with Naomi, because he'd have suddenly realised how much of a bitch she was, and how much he cherished me as his best friend.
Of course, I had now come to terms with the fact that I'd also, unknowingly at the time, wanted James to tell me it was because he wanted me, not her. And essentially, he had told me that in that broom closet. That's why I'd let him kiss me, I'd thought I was finally getting my fairytale ending.
I was such an idiot. It made me want to bang
my head against something hard simply because I was idiotic enough to think that James could be anything but a complete and utter prat towards me these days.
I'd genuinely believed that we'd get together. After all, he'd said he wanted me, he'd said he would break up with her. So what if she'd broken up with him? In my mind, it made things so much simpler. There wasn't a jealous ex-girlfriend to deal with. As I'd walked up those stairs to the seventh year boys' dormitory, carrying the package for James that Mrs Potter had sent him, I'd believed that he'd thank me, ask to talk alone, and then he'd tell me that he liked me. Then I'd admit I liked him too, and then we'd kiss on his bed for a while. Or all night. I liked kissing him, alright?
But no, instead I'd stopped outside the door to hear him whinging on about Naomi. I'd decided I'd had enough of hearing James displaying his disgustingly large ego, and had pushed open the door. My arrival had been silent, only Freddy had noticed me come in, the other two were watching James whine on like the wanker he is.
But when Freddy had started to interrupt him he'd only whinged louder, and then when Freddy had mentioned my name James had said it. Those words. Those words that had ripped at my insides, a knife stabbing into my gut.
I don't care about Lise
It wasn't fair. He was meant to be my best friend. How could he not care?
"Lise?" I heard Freddy flop down on the bench opposite me. "Lise, are you alright?"
"How could he..." I stammered, biting my lip as I fought the tears I'd only stopped crying ten minutes ago.
"He didn't mean it."
"He did" I stared resolutely at the wall above Freddy's head. "He meant it."
"Lise... It's just his ego, he-"
"His ego" I muttered. "I hate his ego. I want to pull it out of him and stamp on it. I want to deflate his ego! It's his ego that made him think he could just throw me around like some stupid girl! Doesn't he realise I have feelings? He can't just do that!"
"I know Lise" Freddy attempted to calm me down. "I know."
"You don't! You play with girls just the same as he does Freddy! You're no better!"
Freddy didn't seem disturbed by my insult, he simply shrugged it off. "I don't do that to my best friends, Lise. I wouldn't do that to you" he promised me and I laughed harshly.
"As if! I'll believe that when I see it! All of you Potter and Weasley boys... you're all pricks! I hate you all!"
"Don't take it out on all of the family just because James is a nonce" Freddy warned me and I folded my arms and glared at him.
"Why so angry with Freddy, Lise?" Lily consoled me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders as she shuffled away from her friends further along the bench.
"I hate all the male members of your family."
"Bit mean" Lily countered. "Haven't you seen what Freddy did for you?"
I snapped my head up from staring at my plate (again) to meet Freddy's insesent gaze. "What did you do Freddy?"
I was nervous, when Freddy got wound up he generally didn't think straight, and I wasn't sure I was going to like what he had done. Especially if it was for me.
"Take a look for yourself" Freddy grunted, gesturing down the table to where James was approaching Albus. I narrowed my eyes, watching James intently as I tried to work it out. And then he turned his head.
"You did that?!" I squealed to Freddy, who also had his eyes on the purplish-blue, heavy bruise beside James' eye. "Freddy!"
"Don't tell me he didn't deserve it."
"I wasn't going to, he did deserve it!" I stopped, softening my harsh voice. "But I don't want to be the reason you two are fighting."
"Techinically Lise" Lily smiled slightly. "They aren't fighting. You know boys, they just punch each other to vent their emotions and then they're best buddies again."
I turned to look at Freddy for conformation. He simply shrugged.
"I still don't want to be the reason you punched him."
"Ok" Freddy reasoned. "Let's say I punched him as payment for going out with a bitch like Naomi and inviting her for Christmas."
I nodded. "That's a good reason to punch him over."
There was a silence as we all turned our heads away from James' direction when he looked over. A blush painted my cheeks, but luckily my face was mostly covered by Lily blocking James' view.
"So..." Lily breathed. "Are you going to talk to him?"
"James?" I asked, even though I knew who she'd meant already.
Lily nodded, tucking some stray hair behind her ear as she picked at some of the untouched food on my plate.
"No, I'm not" I replied.
Lily sighed impatiently. "You're way to stubborn."
"Why should I? He's the one that needs to apologise!"
"Should I make him?"
"No Lily" I rolled my eyes. "It's not a real apology if you force him into it, is it?"
"No need to be sarcastic" Lily muttered. "Just a suggestion."
"He'll apologise Lise" Freddy grinned. "He just needs to get around his ego first."
"That will take forever" I muttered darkly as Fred and Lily laughed.
I rested my chin on my hand and looked over at James again, who was sat quietly with Drew and Alice (Nick and Bea didn't count as present as they were snogging as usual). He didn't seem to be involved with their conversation either, and I noticed that he hadn't sat himself facing the Slytherin table to watch Naomi (as he obviously wanted her back) - this was a small consolation as James usually enjoys watching the girl he likes whilst he eats. (He always called it dinner with a show... not funny, I know.)
Although, I did miss him. As a friend. Well, I'd never experienced him as anything more, except for those two kisses. I didn't know what it felt like to have James Potter as a boyfriend- but I imagined it sucked on the most part as after a while he got bored and dumped you. Except for with Naomi... it was the other way round.
I was quite tempted to congratulate Naomi for deflating his ego a bit, as she was tough for a sixth year. But then I remembered what a bitch she'd been to me, and how we hated one another. I wondered if she'd continue to bother me or not now she and James were over and she'd made it obvious she didn't like him anymore. I'd always felt like Naomi had something over me- as if she knew something about me I didn't know. It was ominous, and slightly frightening.
I fidgeted uncomfortably as I felt somebody watching me and swapped my gaze from Naomi back to James. I blushed heavily, cringing as I caught his eye as he watched me. He offered me a small, apologetic smile and I frowned, turning my head away to ignore him.
If James Potter thought a small smile was an appropriate apology then he was not going to be forgiven any time soon.
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