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Order and Chaos by JustBrilliant
Chapter 9 : Nine - Zombies...?
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 33

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“You should have told me your parents were leaving the country over the holidays,” Lauren said for what was probably the thousandth time as we made our way onto the Hogwarts Express, “You could have stayed with me!

I rolled my eyes as I shoved a First year out of my way, who looked rather upset at being knocked to the ground, and answered, “For the thousandth time now, Lauren. Rose saw me first after I got the letter.”

Lauren didn’t seem to notice the rolling of my eyes or the fact that I had practically thrown an eleven year old to the ground as she hauled her trunk onto the train.

“Look, I’m just saying that Rose will drive you mad in two hours,” then she paused to look at me and consider me carefully with her large, blue eyes, “Are you sure about this?”

Well of course I’m not sure. When am I ever sure about anything?


I nodded before hauling my own trunk onto the train, along with Aleigha’s cage (Aleigha did not look happy to be confined to such a small space) and grunted, “Yeah, I’m sure.”

Lauren frowned at me in reply, but didn’t question further to my relief as we began to search for an empty compartment. I swore as we were moving along the train that I could hear her muttering obscene things about the First years that seemed to have taken most of the compartments we passed.

We must have had a baby boom or something eleven years ago.

I mean, bloody hell.

At one point we passed the compartment that Sarah and her friends were occupying, and I felt a blush come across my face, and a feeling of pride swell up in my chest. You couldn’t deny that Sarah was incredibly good-looking, and somehow I had won her over.

“Come on loverboy,” Lauren teased as we passed, sounding amused.

A few compartments down, we finally stopped, and Lauren led me inside. As I stepped in, I noticed that Al and Lily were already sitting inside, across from one another. Lauren took an empty seat by Lily, who eyed her cautiously, and I sat down beside Al, who looked quite pleased.

“I was beginning to wonder if you would show,” Al laughed, “First years slow you down?”

“As a matter of fact, yes,” Lauren said, sounding annoyed despite the smile on her face, “I was beginning to wonder if there were any compartments left.”

“I doubt there are any left at this point,” Al shook his head, “They’re everywhere. Like zombies.”

For the first time, Lily piped up, “Al, there’s no such thing as zombies, you imbecile.”

Al looked at her very seriously and replied, “As far as you know.”

Lily rolled her eyes before staring intently out the window, “Whatever.”

“Seriously, Al?” I said, suppressing a laugh, “Zombies?”

Before Al could answer, the compartment door slid open to reveal a flustered-looking Rose.

“Have any of you seen Hugo? I can’t find him anywhere.”

Lauren snickered, “Maybe the zombies took him.”

Al just glared at her in reply, Lily seemed to be ignoring her brother as she shook her head at Rose, Rose furrowed her brows, I snorted, and Lauren seemed to be quite pleased with her cleverness… as usual.

Rose looked quite unhappy with our lack of helpfulness, but instead of leaving to continue searching for her brother, she took the seat beside me, reasoning aloud that her brother was probably fine wherever he was. I wasn’t exactly pleased with her being so close, but I didn’t think it wise to tell her to sit somewhere else when I would be stuck with her for so long.

I am ashamed to admit it, but because I couldn’t think of anything else to talk about I looked to Al and asked, “So what’s this rubbish about zombies?”

“It’s not rubbish, man,” Al said, obviously trying to be as convincing as possible, “There’s an upcoming zombie apocalypse.”

“Do you even know what an apocalypse is?” Rose inquired.

Al narrowed her eyes at her, “Yes I know what an apocalypse is, Rose. You’re not the only one who reads.”

“And what have you been reading anyway?” Rose laughed, “Silly muggle fiction?”

Al became very quiet for a moment before finally muttering, “Maybe.”

Rose slipped a book out of the bag she had been carrying with her and opened it as she triumphantly replied, “That’s what I thought.”

I glanced at Lauren and saw her smiling in approval of Rose owning Al so easily. I offered her a smile before she piped up, “What is a zombie anyway? Now I’m curious.”

“They’re re-animated, rotten human corpses that feed on the flesh of live humans,” Al explained, matter-of-factly, “Most people think that they’re slow and stupid because they’re just corpses, but they’re actually faster, stronger, and smarter than living humans… gives them an advantage.”

I saw Lily, who had returned to looking out the window, roll her eyes.

Lauren laughed, “Let’s hope they didn’t really get Hugo, then.”

Al narrowed his eyes at her, “It’s not funny, Lauren. When the zombie apocalypse happens, most people will die.”

“Or become zombies, I’m guessing?” I offered.

“Yeah,” Al grinned at me, “Yeah, you’re getting it.”

I could hear Lauren pretending to cough and Rose snickering into her book, apparently Al was the only one that didn’t catch that I was just messing with him.

Author’s Note: Okay, this next sequence is in Lauren’s POV. Awesome, right? So here goes, Lauren gets to narrate. Enjoy!

Zombies… Really?

Okay, I already knew what zombies are, but can you blame me for asking Al to elaborate?

God, he is so delusional, and funny. Can’t forget that he’s funny.

I loved how Luke interjected, too. It was short and simple, and it totally went over Al’s head that Luke was messing with him.


And Rose couldn’t hide her snickering, at least I was tactful enough to pretend to have a coughing fit and excuse myself.

Speaking of which, I had only suppressed my ‘coughing’ long enough to say, “I’m going to go look for the trolley.”

After which, Luke surprised me by saying, “I’ll go with you,” and hurriedly rushing me from the compartment.

Once the compartment door slid shut, I raised a brow at him, “What’s your hurry?”

Laughing, Luke answered, “Didn’t want to stay long enough for Al to figure it out.”

Of course, what a wuss.

“I swear you are the biggest cupcake I’ve ever met.”

“Cupcake?” Luke sounded amused, “What the hell? Don’t you mean moron or… or shithead?”

I frowned, “Shithead? That doesn’t sound appetizing at all, you idiot. I’m looking for the trolley, so cupcake it is.”

He laughed, “You know, you did just call me an idiot.”

“Whatever, cupcake,” I laughed, then frowned a moment later, “Where in the world are that cart and that old lady?”

“Maybe the zombies got her,” Luke joked, being a total smartass, “You know they like cupcakes – guess that means I’m next.”

“Okay, now you’re being a shithead,” I said, looking at him over my shoulder.

He just laughed and shook his head at me.

You know, Luke has a really nice smile, not sure why I’ve never noticed before.

Oh yeah, I’m unobservant.

I’m a winner, admit it.

I nearly tripped over a First year before I had the sense to watch where I was going. It looked really graceful, you know, what with all the stumbling and what not.

That’s me. Lauren Whitby, the freakishly graceful ballerina.


“Hey, watch where you’re going, you little –“

Yes, I censored myself. I don’t think anyone would find me calling a First year a twat very attractive.


Oh well.

The First year just glared at me and pushed past Luke and I. Luke, however, had to comment in that annoying know-it-all, motherly voice.

“You really shouldn’t speak that way to First years, you know.”

I take back what I said about his nice smile.

His motherly tone is a total turn-off.

I wonder if Sarah knows about it… Maybe I’ll ask…

“And you really shouldn’t throw First years to the ground, either.”

I am the Queen of comebacks.

Q-U-E-E-N, I tell you.

His jaw dropped for a moment, and I suspected that he was completely unaware of the fact that I had noticed him shove a First year when we were boarding the train.

Dumbarse, I’m not blind or anything!

“Okay,” Luke said in defeat, “Maybe I’m not one to talk, but still.”

“Finally!” I interrupted, “There’s the trolley! MOVE FIRST YEAR MIDGETS OR I’LL STEP ON YOUR HEADS!”

I continued shouting these things at them as I pushed through the crowd, and I could hear Luke apologizing all the way through as he followed.

Yeah, Luke. You’re god-sent, way to apologize for the person that’s leading you to the front of the line.

Hah, what a cupcake.

After a few moments of conversing with the frumpy trolley lady, who seemed annoyed with me for yelling at her potential customers, I got my hands on enough Treacle Tarts and Chocolate Frogs to feed an entire third-world country.

Okay, I’m totally kidding, but still… I wasted a lot of money on those Treacle Tarts and Chocolate Frogs.

Seriously, anyone want to give me donations?


No takers?

Eh, whatever. Your loss.

Luke, the puss, only got a box of Every Flavor Beans and two Chocolate Frogs.

“What’s wrong with you, cupcake, on a strict diet?”

I don’t know why, but calling Luke a cupcake is possibly the most fun thing in the world.

Maybe I’ll just call him that from now on. He’ll probably kill me, but whatever. I can just come back as a zombie and eat his brains later.

Lord knows that his brains could feed an entire third-world country… One that was inhabited by flesh-eating zombies, anyway.

Luke rolled his eyes at me, his attempt to hide it failing miserably, “And what are you doing with all of that, Lauren? Preparing to become a cat lady?”

I narrowed my eyes at him, “I don’t even like cats that much, you imbecile.”

“Then why do you have one?”

“Because, smartarse, I liked them when I was like… six.”

“Lauren,” Luke said, snorting, “You got that cat when you were eleven.”

“Okay, you’re a creep.”

“Lauren!” Luke laughed, “We’ve been friends for forever, we rode on the train together when we were eleven!”

“But how did you know how old my cat was?”

Luke narrowed his eyes at me, “Because he was a kitten, Lauren. No bigger than all the crap you have loaded into your arms right now.”

“Speaking of which, if my arms weren’t full I’d punch you right now.”

“Of course.”


He sighed, “Nothing.”

I paused, “Fine.”

A few moments passed, and we once again passed Sarah’s compartment, I knew because I could hear Sarah talking and because Luke looked like he was stoned again.

“So how are you and Sarah, anyway?”

I seemed to have pulled him out of a dream, “Good.”

I laughed, “Good? Is that all? Have you two snogged again?”

Luke’s face turned red, but he was clearly trying to glare at me.

“Okay,” I said, trying something else, “Have you two talked?”

His face contorted for a moment and I was beginning to wonder if he was in pain before he finally replied, “Not since the other day, no.”

“You mean since I threatened to hex her brother?” I asked, smiling at the memory.

Can you blame me? Her brother is an arse… and a twit.

But mostly an arse.

Luke nodded, “Yeah.”

“Do you plan on writing her over the holidays?”

“Erm,” Luke looked once again like he might be in pain, “I hadn’t actually thought about it, but yeah I suppose.”

I shook my head at him, beginning to seriously doubt that his ‘feelings’ for Sarah were anything more than something superficial.

But hey, maybe I’m not giving him enough credit, maybe he’s just an idiot.

All men are.

“What?” he asked, noticing that I was still shaking my head.

“Oh, nothing,” I said, “It’s not about you.”

“Is it about Sarah?”

“No,” I continued to lie, “It’s Rose.”

Okay, some people don’t give me enough credit – I am pretty clever.

I mean, changing the subject to Rose?


“Oh,” he seemed to realize what I was implying, “Yeah.”

“This is why I think staying with her is a really bad idea,” I said, “either she’ll beat the crap out of you, or ignore you over the entire holiday.”

Luke shook his head this time, “I don’t know what her problem is, but I don’t really think it’ll be that bad.”

“You say that now…”

Seriously, Luke’s an idiot.

I mean, if he hasn’t figured out what Rose’s mental issue with him dating Sarah is by now, then there’s something seriously wrong with his big, fat, cupcake head.

I mean, it’s obvious, isn’t it?

She thinks she likes him.

However, I think everyone in Hogwarts, besides Luke (of course) knows different.

She’s totally in love with Scorpius.


Luke’s just a cover-up. They’re like brother and sister or something.

See? I told you people don’t give me enough credit.

Author's Note: Sorry about my absence, I wish I could say it won't happen again, but I'm afraid it will :/ I can't really say when I will update and when I won't, but I can say that I don't have any plans to abandon this fic.. I love it way too much :P

Thank you all for the kind reviews! I appreciate you guys! :)

Oh, and Happy Halloween... don't let the zombies get you ;)

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