“I still can’t believe you don’t have your wand with you!” said Rose as she and Scorpius tramped through swathes of greenery, their feet squelching in the mud as the rain continued to pour down.
“Yes, and I can’t believe you got us lost!” cried Scorpius, wiping water out of his eyes. “We’re in the shit here, Rose – if we don’t find shelter soon we’re going to freeze to death!”
“Um, yes, I had realised!” spat Rose, looking furious. “So what do we do?”
Scorpius threw her a filthy look.
“We find somewhere to wait the storm out and pray we don’t die of pneumonia. Now, keep your eyes peeled and for Merlin’s sake look out for any rivers – I can’t swim, so if you fall in you’re as good as dead. Now come on!”
With that cheery thought, Rose gritted her teeth and began looking.
“Aha – FOOD!”
Blankets and pillows went flying everywhere as everyone scrabbled to see what Hugo had unearthed.
Their excitement faded instantly when they saw what it was.
“Bertie Botts Every Flavour BEANS!” cried James, looking both appalled and devastated. “We might as well just start gorging ourselves on the grass!
“This is better,” said Scorpius, as he and Rose settled themselves in a dark but dry cave. “We should stay here until the storm passes. Hungry?”
Lily ignored the question.
“Why don’t you have your wand?” she asked for the millionth time.
“No?” said Scorpius, pretending not to hear her. “More for me then!”
Rose narrowed her eyes as he tucked into a packet of Jaffa Cakes.
“Give me one,” she snapped.
Scorpius duly passed her one, a small smile playing on his lips.
As Rose nibbled, she mused, “It’s funny how every girl I’ve ever met eats these in exactly the same way: bite off the edges, scrape off the chocolate, eat the jelly then finish off the sponge. Guys though, they just whack it all in in one. Why is that?”
“Dunno,” said Scorpius, as he polished off his fifth cake. “Guess we just want to enjoy it as fast as we can.”
“Is that the approach you take with your sex-life with Haley?”
Scorpius raised his eyebrows.
“I didn’t mean that!” Rose said hurriedly, turning a deep red. “What you do with Hayley is really none of my business!”
“There’s not much to tell really; we shag, that’s it. I don’t love her, I never will and she knows that. She’s sleeping with Liam too, which is pretty hilarious.”
“She’s sleeping with Liam?” repeated Rose, looking shocked. “He’s cheating on Carla?”
“I don’t know why you’re surprised,” said Scorpius, opening a bag of Doritos, “He cheated on you.”
Rose grimaced at the memory.
“Yeah, okay, but doesn’t it bother you?”
Scorpius shook his head.
“Nope; I already said I don’t love her. So long as she doesn’t give me a disease then I don’t care. Mind you, if Liam’s still sleeping with Carla as well I should probably watch out – I wouldn’t touch her with a barge pole!”
“She’s your cousin,” Rose pointed out, still looking shocked.
“You know what I mean; girl’s nasty. Actually, you should probably get checked. I’m pretty sure Liam was shagging her whilst he was still with you.”
Rose felt her face heat up again.
“We, er, we never um, we never slept together. Liam and I, I mean. I kind of wanted to make it a special moment; glad I didn’t bother now. Cheers for telling me, by the way,” she added sarcastically, “Really appreciate it.”
“Wh-!” exclaimed Scorpius, looking exasperated. “What the hell was I meant to do, walk up to you and be all like: ‘Hey, Rose, I know we haven’t spoken in over a year but just to let you know, your boyfriend’s cheating on you. Okay? Great.’”
Rose glared at him.
“Fine,” she said, reaching past him and pulling out a box of cream donuts from one of the shopping bags, “But you could have given me a hint or something!”
“Oh yeah?” said Scorpius, stealing the box of donuts from Rose’s hand. “And you’d have listened to me, would you? No? Didn’t think so.”
“You are such a smug bastard,” said Rose, grabbing the box back as Scorpius tucked in, “And a pikey. I thought you were Draco Malfoy’s son, not Mundungus Fletcher’s!”
Scorpius shoved the rest of his donut in her face.
“I swear to God, I’m going to start eating you in a minute!” growled James to Jessie as he gnawed agitatedly on his thumb whilst Lily rolled her eyes. “I bloody hate Rose. And that wanker Scorpius. Stupid bloody name anyway, ‘Scorpius’ – sounds like his parents didn’t know how to spell scorpion so just whacked a random load of letters on the end instead. God I hate the Malfoys; do you know-”
“Oh my God, James, SHUT UP!” cried Lily and Jessie at exactly the same time.
“JINX!” they shouted before collapsing into laughter.
“Oh, fuck off,” said James moodily, looking depressed. “This is the worst fucking birthday ever.”
“Oh come on,” said Hugo, who was currently trying to create a roast dinner from a mushroom he’d found outside. “It’s not that bad. My dad got poisoned on his birthday!”
“I swear to Merlin, if I hear another bloody story about how our damn parents saved the wizarding world I am going to-!” James began furiously.
“Alright, alright!” cried Hugo, not caring to hear any more of James’ whinging. “I won’t say another word! I just wish I wasn’t so bored!”
“Oh my God!” yelled Barrat, making everyone jump. “I completely forgot I bought firewhisky with me!”
“BOOZE!” cried James, looking happier than he had done in hours. “Get a bloody move on you little git and get it out; you’ve tortured us enough!”
Barrat dashed out of the tent, swearing as the rain hit him and returned moments later, two bottles clutched in his hands.
“Right,” said Mark, who had been slumped in the corner of the tent playing thumb war with Terri, “Everyone get in a circle – we’re going to play a little game called ‘I never’…”
“I’ve never slept with anyone,” said Rose, digging into the bag of Doritos Scorpius had opened earlier. “Not Liam, not Nathan, no one! I’ve never done anything sexy, like dress up or do… you know… sexual stuff. The only time I’ve ever had white stuff on my face is when you shoved that donut in it. Oh and when James exploded a bottle of talcum powder everywhere. Wow, dad was mad. Good times.”
“You know Rose, it doesn’t matter that you’ve not done all that stuff,” said Scorpius gently. “It’s overrated anyway; most of the time it’s pretty crap.”
“I’ll say,” said Rose, shoving a handful of Doritos in her mouth, “The best kiss I’ve had was from you, for crying out loud, and that was only to reassure me that it wasn’t my terrible kissing that put Michael Corner jnr off me! Nathan and I kiss, obviously, but I don’t know, it’s just not the same. Maybe I really am bad at it and my kiss with you was a fluke. Wow, as if I’m from the same gene pool as James.”
Scorpius gaped at her.
“Blimey, Rose, are you sure those crisps aren’t alcohol-infused?”
“Yep,” said Rose brightly, shaking her head. “I’ve just had too much sugar; it makes me really hyper!”
“I’ll say,” said Scorpius as he watched her make a beak out of two Dortios. “I’d forgotten how funny you can be when you’re all full of e numbers!”
“Fank you,” she grinned through a mouthful of mashed up crisps. “And I’d forgotten how un-uptight you can be! I can totally see why we used to be friends!”
“Can you indeed?” he said as Rose took a swig of cola. “Well, maybe us getting lost was a blessing in disguise…”
“Me again?” exclaimed Jas, looking perplexed. “I’m running out of things to say!”
“Pull the other!” said Terri, who was cosied up to Mark, unaware his heart belonged to another. “You’re the most angelic person here! There’s tons of stuff you haven’t done!”
“That’s not true!” she argued, looking wounded. “I’ve sky-dived, I’ve swum with sharks-”
“No-one gives a toss about that stuff,” interrupted Terri, taking a sip of firewhisky, “Not in this kind of game anyway. I’m talking sex stuff!”
“Exactly. So what sex stuff have you never done?”
“I’ve never properly kissed a guy…”
James, Mark, Terri, Jessie and Lily all grinned and took a shot.
“James, Mark!” cried Jas, looking shocked. “You’ve snogged a guy?!”
Mark’s grin grew wider.
“It was New Year’s, I was pissed,” he said, by way of explanation.
“I’m James,” said James simply.
“Fair,” said Jessie, looking unsurprised as she refilled her mug. “Spin again, Jas.”
Jas duly did as she was told.
It landed on Jessie.
“Aha!” said Jessie, looking excited. “Okay, I have never… kissed James!”
“Oh come on,” began Hugo, looking exasperated. “No one here will have-”
But he was wrong.
“Terri!” cried Lily and Jas, looking horrified as their best friend took a small sip from her cup.
“You!” exclaimed Jessie, throwing a shocked look at James who was staring determinedly at his glass.
“There had to be one,” said Mark, shaking his head.
“When-” began Lily but Terri was already on it.
“It was a couple of years back, after the Summer Ball. We’d been drinking.”
“I swear,” said Lily, looking disgusted, “I am never letting you touch alcohol again!”
“Whatever,” said Terri, rolling her eyes, “It’s not like I enjoyed it!”
“WHAT?!” screeched James, spilling firewhisky everywhere, his silence on the subject well and truly over. “You didn’t enjoy it? What the hell is wrong with you?!”
“Maybe you’re a crap kisser?” suggested Jessie, a little too harshly.
James rounded on her.
“Hey!” he said indignantly. “Now I may not claim to be the best person for relationships and all that crap but I am the grand master of kissing! If Terri didn’t enjoy it then there’s obviously something wrong with her!”
“Fuck you, James,” said Terri, looking unconcerned.
“I don’t believe you,” said Jessie stubbornly.
“Oh no?” said James, looking determined.
And then, for the second time in as many weeks, Jessie was kissed.
But this time, she kissed back.
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