Chapter 4 : Decisions, Decisions
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P.S This chapter mentions abortion and I know this a really a sensitive topic. Just a warning!
P.S.S this chapter has been slightly edited :P
Yes, so basically I am not letting Black within six metres of my baby. If he comes near he will be poked with a stick. I am praying that this child will come out normal and not with an overly sized head like Sirius.
I had to go to Madam Pomfrey earlier this week. She gave me some pamphlets on mother-hood. It was one awkward conversation let me tell you. She kept shaking her head and giving me wierd looks. She made me feel so special. The pamphlets didn't help me either, they just made me more scared to be honest.. They had diagrams(very detailed might I add) and other 'stuff'.
There were three options I could do. Keep the baby and raise it, Have the baby and put it up for adoption or..abortion. All have their negatives and positives if you get my drift. I'm afraid that I'll feel bad if I have the baby that it won't be able to have a proper, happy life. I'm afraid that if I give it up for adoption that the family won't be right and they'd mistreat it. And abortion..Let's not get into that. I'm not very good at making decisions as you can see.
So another big decision of mine is debating on how to break it to Sirius. I've had a few ideas..Telling him and watching him faint then laughing for a while but then remembering why he fainted it the first place. Ask the house-elves to cook mini foods for dinner..like mini carrots, mni corn or mini potatoes. I like the second one better, but Sirius is a boy so he won't notice the changing of size in his dinner. Dumbledore told me to tell him as soon as possible. Pfft yeah, I'll just ride in on my super duper unicorn and say: "Oi Black, I'm preggo and you're the DADDY!" He'll be mentally scared but at least I told him.
So right now I am in my dormitory drawing. My bright red hair is hanging around my face. I just don't know what to do. Getting pregnant by a marauder sucks socks. Try saying that five times fast.
I walk out of my dorm and down to the kitchens. I need time to think. Food helps me do that. But I'm also craving some chicken. I creep down slowly down the stairs, I'm careful not to wake any of my house mates up. I come to the portrait of the fruit bowl. I tickle the pear. I giggle, I don't know why but it always makes me giggle. I walk in and there's no house elves. I keep on walking until I see a body sitting up on a counter. He looks up and stares at me for a while.
"Hullo," He says after a while. It's Remus Lupin. Sirius Black's best friend.
"Hello," I say cheerfully. I stand there awkwardly for a few moments but a dozen house elves come to my aid. I tell them that I want a chicken sandwich and within a few moments they give a chicken sandwich on a plate. I smile and thank them and take a seat beside Remus on the counter.
"What are you doing down here at this time?" He asks me when he finnishes eating whatever he was eating.
"I could ask you the same. I just felt hungry," I answer. He nods his head.
"AYE MOONY! THERE YOU ARE! WE COULDN'T FIND YOU!" A loud voice shouts across the kitchen. In walk three boys. Sirius, James and Peter Pettigrew.
"Well hello Redser, Fancy seeing you down here," Sirus says with a smug grin. I put down my plate with the remains of my chicken sandwich on them.
"So Redser, you never told us what Dumbledore talked to you about the other day," James says.
"And I don't plan to," I snap. Sirius raised an eyebrow and shared a smug look with James.
"Ok Redser, We'll best be on our way. Talk to you soon," James says. Remus hops off the counter and goes to join his friends.
"Wait," I say. The four of them turn around to face me. I hesitate for a few moments.
"What is it?", Remus asks.
"N..nothing," I sigh and they look slightly confused before walking out of the kitchens. I hit my head with my hand. I am such a wimp.
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