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The Abundance of Potters by Phoenix_Feather49
Chapter 5 : Annoying Girlfriends, Strange Appearances and Scary Shockers
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 5

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It always starts at breakfast, doesn’t it?

Well, at least it always starts at a meal.

Strange, huh?

Anyway, back to the point.

I digress.

Once again... I think I need help.

We’re sitting at breakfast, just chatting quietly as we fill up on sausages and beans (or bacon and Cheerio’s in my case). I reach for the bacon at the exact same time as Albus does, and our hands touch for a brief moment.

Instantly, he pulls his hand back as if burned. I frown at him and he looks away dejectedly.

He’s been like this all week- perfectly amicable but strangely indifferent and distant. He’s always avoiding touching me, even brushing shoulders makes him shudder like he’s been electrocuted.

I tried to ignore him at first but now it’s just getting out of hand. It’s irritating but very hurtful.

And Rose has noticed it too. So she keeps making very (un)subtle hints about it. Now that’s annoying. Funnily enough, Rose is looking rather pale and drawn this morning. She’s just playing with her Cornflakes, swirling them round and round and staring into the distance. Something’s up. I’ll find out later I suppose.

Anyway, I look over Al’s head determined not to stare at him and spot a Ravenclaw, I think she’s called Sarah Yusuf, staring at Al. Sweet baby Jesus, she is checking him out!

Not on my watch, she ain’t!

I’m about to make a move, taking Al and Rose with me before he notices when-

“Al! Al, I think that girl is checking you out!” Dom whisper shrieks.

Well, dang.

Al straightens up, his eyes flashing excitedly.

Rip out my heart and jump on it, please.

“Really?” he exclaims. Dom nods, brightly. Al attempts to flatten his hair (it springs back up in an even messier sprawl than before) and cleans his glasses.

You want to know how he cleans them?

He licks them.

Turn off much?

However, I must agree with him there. I clean my glasses in that way. It’s quite effective.

Ahhh, the wonders of enzymes.

Anyway. It’s quite sad really. Al isn’t great with the ladies. According to his mum and Aunt Hermione, he’s an exact replica of his father.

He got the glasses, the eyes, the hair, the gangly genes, the looks (I completely agree with this one), the loyalty, the quiet cleverness and most importantly, the awkwardness with girls. Harry was hopeless with handling girls too apparently.

Took him about a year to ask out his first girlfriend, Cho Chang (who is currently the Transfiguration teacher at Hogwarts. Awkward.) and six years to realise his love for Ginny (his wife).

Useless. Ruddy useless.

James, on the hand inherited his Grandfather’s big-headedness, his God’s gift to girls, the intelligence and the amazing good looks.

Got all the good genes, eh?

Poor Al.

Anyway, he stands up and motions for us to as well. We do and follow him as he swaggers out of the Hall. He’s shaking his arse.

Rose is desperately trying not to laugh.

It is pretty hilarious.

I run up to him and walk just behind him. Then, I take a peek over my shoulder. Rose is silently laughing and James is still sitting at the table shaking his head at his brother’s uselessness. Dom just looks disgusted. Then I see Sarah get up, alone, and make her way over to us.

Oh, Hell no!

“Oi, Al. Keep strutting, it looks great. Very sexy!” I whisper nastily in Albus’ ear. He turns round, bright red and hisses back,

“I do not strut!” Though I notice he immediately stops strutting.

“Um, Al, please may I just talk to you for a moment?”

Oh God. It’s the spawn of the devil.


Rose instantly stops giggling and takes on a sombre expression, suitable for a funeral.

“Yeah, of course!” Al answers eagerly.


Sarah takes a nervous step forwards and twists her strawberry blonde hair around her fingers.

Stupid pretty girl with her stupid cute nervousness and her stupid wavy, beautiful strawberry blonde hair, and her stupid perky breasts and her stupid overall niceness.

Ugh, I hate her.

She’s too damn perfect.

“Well,” she giggles anxiously, “I was hoping alone...”

 Al gives us the look. You know the one. The “bugger-off-and-leave-me-alone-so-I-can-get-off-with-this-gorgeous-girl-with-amazing-tits,” one.

You know it?

Yeah, that one.

“Don’t worry, honey. Anything you want to say to Albus Severus here, you can say in front of us!” Rose exclaims in a sickly sweet voice.

Ah, the use of the dreaded middle name.

It’s a massive turn-off: should put her off.

Mental high five to Rose.

“Oh of course! I completely understand,” Sarah replies.

Stupid Sarah and her stupid understandingness.

“I was wondering, with your permission of course, Rose,” she continues, gesturing towards Rose, “I know how close you and Al are,”

Aha, I see your plan, Sarah. Buttering Rosie up, eh? Well, that ain’t going to work.

“I-well. I was wondering whether you’d like to join me for a drink on Saturday at the Hogsmeade trip?” Sarah smiles hopefully.

I look to Rose, for some interruption. She is not going to let this happen! I’m to be disappointed however. Rose is grinning like a stupid baboon.

Stupid buttering-up worked!

“I’d love to!” Al can’t answer fast enough.

And my heart was just cut up into tiny little pieces and spread across the world.


“Obviously, I’d love to become acquainted with your family and friends! I’ve heard so many wonderful stories about them,” she continues. If possible, Rose and Al grin even more broadly.

Over- doing it there, my dear Sarah. She holds out her hand to me.

“Katrina Parker, isn’t it? I love your name! I wish I had such a cool name,” she pouts, prettily. I smile back and take her hand.

What? I can’t help it! She’s too likeable. I just had to smile: I couldn’t not smile.

“And Rose Weasley! You helped my little sister last year in Transfiguration. Kara Yusuf? She couldn’t have passed her exams without you!” Sarah turns to Rose. Rose positively beams at her.

“Thank you! Kara was really bright, just needed a little push. Anyway, we’ll leave you alone with Al for a chat now,” Rose replies easily before grabbing me and dragging me out of the Great Hall.

“She seems nice, doesn’t she?” Rose says cheerfully.

“Hmm... Too nice, don’t you think. Older woman, Rose. Dangerous,” I warn theatrically. Rose merely rolls her eyes at me. We continue walking down the corridor, leading to the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom.

“I’m a little disappointed, I must admit. I always figured Al would ask you out but I suppose with James-” Rose falters quickly.

“What?” I pick up on her abrupt end quickly. She coughs nervously.

“N-nothing,” she stammers. I narrow my eyes at her but before I can threaten her she changes the subject, “I wonder what colour hair Teddy will have today?”

Now that, sounds like a bloody bonkers topic.

It’s not.

See, Teddy/Professor Lupin is a metamorphmagus which basically means he can change his looks at will.

So, he can look stunningly gorgeous when he wants to.

I notice his amazing good looks- I mean anyone would, but being so close with the Potters mean that I’m close with Teddy. He’s like a sort of brother, I suppose. He’s my adult mate, my confidante.

I don’t know what confidante means either. It just sounds fancy and all grown-up...

I digress.

Quick, back to the point before I go off on one about my digression problem!

That’s right; we were discussing Ted’s hair. Teddy has a signature hairdo- green shaggy hair.

I know what you’re thinking: “Green shaggy hair?! Who can pull that off?”

Well, Teddy can. He’s a bloody typical Hufflepuff (just like his mum) which means he’s gorgeous. A classic Hufflepuff hottie. Just like Cedric Diggory (I hear he was gorgeous when he lived) but, like, one hundred times more attractive. I suppose his status’ help too: he was a Prefect, Captain of the Hufflepuff Quidditch team, Head Boy and his parents were heroes. Every girl’s dream.

Come to think of it, his dad was a Werewolf. So he has some werewolf tendencies (he likes his steak on the raw side).

Which makes him even sexier.

Plus, he is a nice guy.

Unfortunately for all those fan girls (and I don’t just mean those teenagers who have just left Hogwarts, oh no, I mean middle-aged women) who devotedly read Witch Weekly, his heart is betrothed to none other than Victoire Weasley (Dom’s sister).

To all those hopeful girls who are convinced they will marry him, you’ve got no chance. Victoire Weasley is one eighth Veela: she’s bloody gorgeous. With her stupid gorgeous golden hair and stupid sky blue eyes and her stupid faint accent and her stupid cleverness and kindness...

Stand next to her and you look as ugly as Tyrique at five in the morning when he’s got a hangover.


So back to Teddy. He has a casual look (which includes his green hair) and his formal look (with his dark brown hair). For work, he usually has the brown hair but with his favourite classes (us) he has his signature do.

Or, for *ahem* educational purposes only, he changes his hair colour every lesson.

So, Teddy changes something about his appearance for *ahem* educational purposes only (okay, maybe to keep us entertained). He might turn his nose into a pig’s snout, or a moustache with bits of his breakfast in it, or...

You get the idea.

Thus, it is perfectly understandable that we are wondering about Teddy’s hair. He might have knee-length yellow hair today to keep our attention.

It works rather well actually: everyone is so intrigued by his strange looks, everyone takes notice!

Anyway, we walk into Defence and we’re the only ones there. We’re early.

“Ahem,” I hear a voice from behind me. I spin around and let out a little scream at the sight before me. Rose stumbles backwards, grabbing me to stop her from toppling over completely.

“TEDDY?!” I scream.

The figure laughs at my shocked expression and gasps the word, “Yes!”

He doesn’t look that terrifying, it’s just that I was expecting that mane of shaggy green hair and that cheeky grin. Not...

Well, the long nose hair and the receding grey hair and the jiggling man boobs.

Slightly terrifying.

He looks like a pervy maths teacher at a rough muggle school.

You know the type.

“You scared the LIFE out of me!” I punch him playfully on the shoulder. He continues roaring with laughter. He’s a somewhat scary sound: it’s a loud booming chuckle, just the kind of laugh you’d imagine to come with that kind of character.

During our laughing fit, a number of pupils march through the door. A few stop and stare, gawping at Teddy’s appearance.  The girls look desolate that their beautiful Teddy Lupin is transformed into an ugly little man. Most of the pupils make their way to their desks to prepare for the lesson: they’re used to Teddy’s “little pranks”.

I grab Rose and drag her to our seats. We’re still laughing, trying (and failing) to stop. Suddenly, Rose stumbles and clutches her chair. She doubles over and pales visibly. She looks like she’s going to be sick. I grab her and whisper,

“Rose! Are you okay?”

Fortunately, no-one has noticed Rose and they’re all continuing their conversations.

“Rose?!” I hiss urgently as she lets out a little whimper. I can hear her shallow breathing for a few moments. Then, slowly, she straightens up and gives me a weak smile.

“Stomach bug,” she explains quietly. “Thought I was going to be sick. Managed not to, though,” She attempts another smile, trying to cover her pain up. I frown at her.

“Some stomach bug. You should go to Madame Pomfrey,” I reply, unsure about her health. She shakes her head violently in reply.

“No, no, I’m fine!”

She sits down at our desk and I follow her. She has a forced grin on her face, obviously still trying to convince me she’s okay. But when I look into her eyes, they’re glazed over and I tell she’s privately worrying and her mind’s somewhere else.

I’m distracted from my analysing of Rose by the entrance of Albus and Sarah.

Crap. I’d forgotten about them.

They’re holding hands.


That’s way too fast. She’s a ruddy octopus, with her hands everywhere. Okay, so it’s only holding hands, but they’ve only been going out for about ten minutes. If that. Ruddy ridiculous.

She and Al are talking and laughing happily as they walk in. Instead of taking his normal seat next to Scorpius, Al sits next to Sarah at a free table.

He completely blanks Scorpius.

I’ve never seen him do that, ever. I watch Scorpius’ face fall rather comically. But I don’t have the urge to laugh. I’m slightly horrified. I turn to Rose to ask her opinion but I find her staring blankly into space. She’s jiggling her right leg: she only does that when she’s really worried (like in exams) or scared. That makes me even more worried.

I don’t say anything and turn my attention to Teddy. The lesson begins.

I take notes and finish the task at hand in ten minutes, virtually. Rose doesn’t take any notes and fidgets with her quill. That’s not like Rose: she’s a complete freak when it comes to lessons. She writes down every single thing the Professor says. She stares blankly at her parchment for the whole lesson, completely oblivious to everything around her.

I spend the remainder of the lesson looking from Rose to Scorpius to Al and Sarah. I watch Rose fidget for a few minutes, then turn to see Scorpius sending furtive glares at Al’s back, and subsequently watch Al and Sarah chat away cheerfully. It’s a tense lesson and I’m incredibly relieved when it’s over.

In just one lesson, my entire mood has gone down the drain.


I am in an incredibly bad mood.

I’ve just had several more lessons filled with Scorpius’ death glares, Rose’s blanks stare and Al and Sarah’s flirting.

I am ready to kill.

Voldemort returning? Recruiting new ready-to-kill Death Eaters?

Well hello there, I’m your woman.

I storm down the corridor glowering at anyone who passes me. I walk down the corridor that leads that had Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom in it. Why? Because of Myrtle’s constant whining, people tend to avoid walking past the bathroom. I need to be alone.

I spot some little first years loitering outside the bathroom door.


It might not be torturing Sarah Yusuf but it’ll do.

Yelling at first years shall become the way I let out my anger.

“Return to you common rooms, please,” I say, primly. They turn to look at me and the shortest one sneers at me. Shorties are always the leaders of these cliques. They’re evil. Trust me. I’d know.

I’m short.

“Why should we?” she answers back in a nasal tone. She’s a Slytherin. No surprise there then.

“Excuse me? What did you just say?” I say in a voice that says, “Try me bitch”. The leader steps back a little and murmurs in a much smaller voice,

“W-why should we?”

“Do you know what year I am in?” I boom, menacingly. She takes another step back but replies in a much stronger voice,

“Second year?”  Her friends snigger. I simply raise my eyebrows.

She did not just use my height in an insult. HELL no.

No-one insults my height.

All clear?

“No, I’m a fifth.” I utter, my voice dripping with hatred.

“So? You’re not a Prefect!” the little leader squares up to me.

“No, I’m not. But you know who my best mates are, eh?  Albus Potter and Rose Weasley. Yeah, I’m also pretty friendly with James Potter, the Quidditch captain.” With each important name, the first years shrink back. “Yeah their parents defeated VOLDEMORT, the darkest wizard of all time. I’m pretty sure if I had a problem with rude first years, Harry Potter would be all too happy to deal with them. He’d have no problem.”

One of little girls whimper.

“You know who else I know? I’m great mates with Dominique Weasley,” I finish my speech. That name seems to terrify them. Dominique is well known as the sarcastic, pessimistic one who will threaten and hex anyone.


I’m warning you now.


“We didn’t know!”

“We’re really sorry, miss! Please don’t hurt us!” I nearly laugh at their pathetic apologies but manage to maintain my stern expression.

Actually, this is much more fun than killing Sarah.

“I really needed a pee, miss. So we came here,” one of them whispers.

“Go and find a better bathroom. This is Moaning Myrtle’s. It’s a rather unpleasant surprise when she appears out of the toilet bowl while you’re sitting on it,” I smile, pityingly. She nods enthusiastically.

“I will, miss!” They all turn to leave.

“Actually, miss. You might want to know this since you’re mates with Rose Weasley,” one of them states meekly.

“Go on,” I frown.

“Well, me and Fran and Holly and Freya were about to go in when she rushed past. She pushed past us, and she looked really worried, miss. And she put a spell on the door, miss, so we couldn’t get in. That’s why we were standing outside. She still hasn’t come out, miss. And we don’t know how to unlock the door!” The little girl explains in a rush.

Oh no. Oh no, no, no. This isn’t good. Something is very wrong. I have-

Hang on.

They don’t know the counter-curse to Colloportus?

What kind of witches are they? Hello? Ever heard of Alohomora?

Remind me to tell Hermione next time I see her. She’ll be horrified.

Honestly, first years these days.

Shut up, Katrina! Focus on Rose!

“Alright, thanks titch. You and your mates bugger off now and I won’t set Dom on you,” I warn them. They don’t need telling twice and they scurry off. Once they’re out of sight, I whip out my wand and murmur,

Alohomora!”  And watch as the door unlocks. Hurriedly, I yank the door open and...

Skid to a stop.

I can’t believe the sight before my eyes.

Rose is curled up in a ball on the tiled flooring, shaking and sobbing loudly. It’s a pitiful sight and I almost drop my bag in shock.

“Rose...” I exhale so quietly. Rose doesn’t look up and continues weeping. I hear an evil cackling behind me.

“She’s in trouble! Everyone will hate her!” Moaning Myrtle calls out in her sing-song voice. Stupid Myrtle.

“Piss off, Myrtle! I’ll throw some books at you!” I threaten and shake my bag menacingly. Myrtle scowls, floats towards the nearest cubicle and dives into the bowl. I hear a faint splashing sound and I know she’s gone.

Quickly, I cast Colloportus over the door and a Muffliato charm over the surrounding area, so no-one can get in or will be able to hear us. Then I hurry over to Rose.

“Rosie, are you okay? What’s happened?” I cry.

“I-I!” Rose sobs. She throws herself on me, shaking with the force of her whimpers.

 Let me tell you now, she ain’t exactly “petite”. It hurts to have Rose sit on you.

I hug her back and cradle her, rocking her back and forth like my mum used to do when I was upset. I make shushing sounds and stroke her hair. Slowly, she regains control and looks up. Her eyes and raw red and puffy, tears streak her cheeks and her lashes are dripping.

“Rosie, what on Earth has happened?” I ask, sympathetically.  She doesn’t say anything and simply looks down. I follow her gaze. She’s gripping something in her hands so securely, her knuckles have turned white. Curiously, I prize open her finger and look at the little object in her tight clasp.


I gasp.

This can’t be real.

No, no, no.

Shit, shit, shit with knobs on.

“Rosie...” I breathe. Fresh tears well up in her eyes as she flings herself on me once more. I hold her tight and make the shushing sound again.

“It’ll be alright. It’ll be fine. Don’t worry, it’ll be fine,” I murmur under my breath. I repeat it again and again.

To be honest, I’m trying to convince myself as much as I am Rose. I don’t see how it can possibly be. The little object Rose is holding will change all our lives. And not for the better.

She is holding a pregnancy test.

And it’s positive.



She’s pregnant ? Whaaaat?!

Little, perfect Rosie Pose is pregnant. What’s going to happen now?

Don’t look at me! I have no idea!

Sorry for leaving it such a cliff hanger! And unfortunately, it might be a while till the next chapter- not sure as yet. This chapter and the next have been quite difficult to write- I haven’t had the time! I’ve got my English GCSE coming up so I’ve seriously been eating, sleeping, BREATHING the I Have a Dream speech by Martin Luther-King (that’s what the GCSE is about. Obviously. I don’t just analyse it for fun).

And I’ve got that history essay I really should be writing now...

Oh, and that I.C.T coursework...

Eh, writing fan fic is much more fun!

I’ve also had a bit of writers block. I know what happens in the next few chapters but how to lead up to it?

Well, it’s going to be exciting, I can tell you that ;)

Thanks for reading, please review!


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