I looked at my watch. Why wasn't he home yet? He was never later than 8.
I tapped my wand on the table as I wordlessly watched the sky outside turn from orange to black. The stars shone as I fought with my concience. Did I really want to do this? Will it be easier just to go?
My wand slipped from my hand as I lost my concentration. How had everything ended up this way?
My mind wondered to the previous day sitting my family round the table, telling them it was time. That was the hardest thing that i'd ever done. Now I just needed to tell him.
His training at the ministry had got in the way of everything, all our plans. Then my plans altered too. Two people living the same life suddenly going in different directions. Him turning his hobby into a career and me, being the doting girlfriend and waiting for him.
When he left me at Hogwarts everything seemed to change. In my mind I couldn't find anyone more special. I wanted to marry him but he didn't have the time, rushing back and forth between his house and work, we barely saw each other.
I smiled as I allowed myself to reminice on the times we had back then. Seeing each other every hogsmade weekend and then whenever he decided to pop in. I have to admit it was fun.
My memories kept me sane as I checked the clock again- 8:30. The what if's started to run through my mind. I needed him, what if he decided he didn't want me anymore. I allowed myself to doubt on him.
He'd left me once before, what's to say he wouldn't do it again. Tears formed in my eyes as I thought of the unthinkable. If he didn't forgive me my world will come crashing down.
I consoled myself with the idea my family supported my decisions. How could they not. I was making a life for myself. I just hoped he'd understand.
The tears still fell from my eyes although I know he'd never leave me again. He promised and I'd trust him with my life. I'd been in love with him for 6 years and it weren't about to stop now.
All I wanted was to marry him. I hoped he felt the same way too. I remembered all of those nights out we had when we first started dating. We dated the muggle way at first always going out, but if i'm honest we both prefered nights in.
I picked the wand up off the floor and glanced at the clock 8:45. My heart started beating to the rhythm of the second hand ticking away at the clock. I couldn't bear the suspense as I imagined his reaction. He was sure to hate me.
This wasn't my intention but then again things never work out the way I plan. I heard a knock on the door and my heart just froze. I composed my self and wiped the tears from my eyes as I tip toed over to the door. Right this is it. I'm going to tell him and then leave, it'll be easier that way. I never wanted to hurt him.
I opened the door quickly peering around it to check it was him. I pecked him on the cheek and pulled him close as he mumbled I love you into my ear. You could hear my heart beating as I pulled away indicating he should sit down.
When I did the same he clasped my hand but I pulled away. I had the picture of his worse possible reaction in my head and I didn't want to make this harder than it was going to be. I know he's going to leave. He looks confused and I can't believe what i'm about to do.
I look at him my eyes silently pleading with him to forgive me. But I wanted this, I needed this.
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