Chapter 1 : Devil's Snare
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Alright, it’s sort of allowed. There really is no written rule.
Fine. There’s a written rule, and what I’m about to do is not allowed.
But I’m still going to do it. Well if I don’t run out of here like that time that I caught my brother wearing a thong. My thong may I add.
It’s official, us Abbots have no shame. Why else would I be here waiting for Professor Neville Longbottom to come back to the greenhouse to clean up?
However it’s not as bad as it looks; Longbottom is my age after all. And he’s a good influence on me, after all the only reason I came back to Hogwarts was to see him.
He’s basically the reason for my education, without him I’d just go back to working with Aunt Rosemerta at her bar.
Anyway long story short, I’m going to ask him out. I know he likes me, I’ve gotten all the go-ahead signs, and the only reason we haven’t gone out yet is because that he’s just too shy to actually say anything.
I hope. Because if he says no then that will be really quite awkward.
I sighed and slapped the tentacle from the Devil’s Snare away for the third time. If plants have genders then that thing is a boy, believe me.
I looked at my watch, Neville was taking his time coming back to the greenhouse. I was freezing my buttocks off, it’s no coincidence that I was wearing a really short skirt. I looked over his desk area to see if he had any interesting books that I could read while waiting.
Plants of the Water.
Plants of the Desert.
Plants of the Household.
Geez, this guy needs a girlfriend. He’s going to grow up and realize that he’s gotten married to the Venomous Tentacle, or whatever that thing is called.
He did have a radio though which I quickly turned on. It was one of the dial ones though so I was stuck twisting the knob and hoping that I could catch a Magpies game without any static.
“Hello and welcome to the WRock station, that stands for Wizard Rock,” said the announcer from the speaker. “Next up we have I Want You to Whomp Me by The Devil’s Snare.”
Lame name, I thought.
However the tune was really quite catchy, I began tapping my foot to it.
“I want you to want me, I need you to weed me, why can’t you plant one on me?” The radio sang.
I began bobbing my head to the music. This song was really funny in a sick way.
“What more could you want then a violent hugging plant?” Asked the singer.
What more could Neville want then an innocent Huffelpuff girl?
“I’ve been a bad plant and I’m needing some chastising,” said the singer.
Oh, I like that. I began to—sort of—dance with the music.
I’m not a terrible dancer if I do say so myself. I mean I can do that whole thing where the person puts on hand behind their head, uses the other hand to hold on to their ankle, and sort of hops around.
And that’s totally cool…right?
I quickly dodged the Devil’s Snare, and continued dancing.
“Come down to the dungeons let’s get to—”
The singer didn’t get to finish her sentence because the radio had been shut off. I turned around, inwardly cringing at whoever had seen me.
Even if my dance moves are totally awesome, I don’t want other people seeing them and stealing them.
“Er…hello Hannah,” Neville looked at me awkwardly. A bunch of first years that were with him giggled nervously. Damn those first years, they were bringing down my level of cool.
“Who are you?” I asked glaring at the first years. Even though it was below twenty degree weather and I was wearing my short skirt I suddenly found the green house to be very hot.
Must be the heat for the plants.
“They’re a study group, I was tutoring them,” Neville answered.
I turned to Neville and walked towards him, he looked as if he didn’t know whether to run or stay.
“So, eight O’clock tonight?” I asked, raising just one eyebrow because I’m cool like that.
“Sure,” Neville stammered. “Where do you want me to meet you?”
“Dungeons,” I answered. “We’ve got some fertilizing to do.”
I had no clue what that meant, but it sounded good when the singer said it.
Neville turned the same shade as his Gryffindor scarf, I found it very endearing.
“OK,” he stammered a bit more.
I almost skipped as I left the greenhouse, I had asked Neville Longbottom out without embarrassing myself at all.
“Hello love,” says Neville, waking me up in the morning by kissing me.
“I’m tired,” I moan, flipping over so I couldn’t face him. I get very cranky in the morning.
“I’ll make you tea,” said Neville, I could almost hear him rolling his eyes. He’s used to my morning ritual by now, after all we’ve been married for two years.
Plus because I’m pregnant with his kid, he has to put up with me and my moods.
“With whipped cream, milk, sugar, and a hot dog,” I call after him.
“For breakfast love?” Asks Neville, he gives me a strange look.
It’s my turn to roll my eyes. “Of course, with mustard!”
“How could I forget?” he asks as he walks back into the kitchen. As I’m waiting I turn on the radio. I made Neville get a new one, this one has buttons instead of dials thank Merlin.
“Hello and welcome to WRock, that ladies and gentlemen stands for Wizard Rock,” says the announcer. “Next up is I Want You to Whomp Me by Devil’s Snare.”
I sit agape as the song begins to play, Neville quickly reappears.
“Is my hot dog done?” I ask. Neville shushs me with his hand. I pout.
“That’s not—” he begins.
“Yes it is,” I answer as I nod my head. “Remember it?”
“Of course,” says Neville as the song finishes. “Loved you for it.”
“I’ll love you even more if you remember mustard,” I say, shooing him off the bed.
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