Chapter 12 : I love you, but I can't
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*I love you, but I can’t
The three of us were frozen for a few brief moments. It was if time had stopped moving. My hand was still clasped over my mouth, James’s jaw was still hanging on the floor, and my heart went out to Aaron. He loved me. I knew he did, and I can’t believe I just did that to him. On his face he bore a look off utter disappointment and sadness. Finally I took Aaron’s hand and said “Aaron I’m really, honestly and truly sorry, but I can’t do this.”
He nodded and I gave him a quick peck on the cheek. I left the two of them standing there and I walked out of stardust. I apperated back to my apartment. I laid down, still fully dolled up and as I fell asleep the only thing I could think was ‘I can’t believe I just did that’
The next morning I woke up confused and upset. I ruined everything between Aaron and me. Sure I didn’t love him as much as I had loved James but he’d still been my best friend for the past few months.
On my table sat a note.
Meet me out in the courtyard
I should have been expecting that. The only question was wither I wanted to go outside or not. I thought about it for a long time and eventually I bit the bullet and went outside.
James was sitting on the bench. His untidy black hair blowing in the wind while he was playing with that stupid snitch he’s had since 4th year. I sat down and I couldn’t look at him, thankfully he broke the silence.
“No let me.” He said “Look Lily. I love you. I’ve always loved you, I know what I did was stupid, but at the time it seemed like the right thing to do. I know you love me too…”
“…please let me finish. I know you love me too and you can’t deny it because you said it, and I heard you. Can’t we just try it between us again? I love you lily and I promise this time I won’t let anything screw it up.”
“…James I won’t deny it. I do love you. Deep down I’ve had a soft spot for you even after you broke it off.” I said sincerely “but…”
“why does there have to be a but?”
“but that fact is I can’t trust you.”
“I made one mistake. I didn’t want to let anything happen to you. I know it wasn’t right, but I was acting out of love… I love you lily, you love me. Why can’t we try and fix it?”
“I love you James, but I don’t want to.”
“Why not?” he asked looking confused
“Sure you dumped me ‘for my own good’ but you broke my HEART!” I said starting to tear up.
“No Lily please don’t cry…”
“I would have gone with you…”
“That’s exactly what I didn’t want. I didn’t want you to get hurt.”
“I know.” And the tears started to rolled down my cheeks “But don’t you think that I would have rather had just a little time with you than none at all? Don’t you think I would have been better with you, than a counter girl at three broomsticks?”
“I… I… I… never thought of it that way…” he said sadly
“Maybe you should have… we’d both be a lot better off right now.”
“Give me another shot Lily. I’ll never do anything like that again… I swear.”
“ya…” now I was sobbing “You swore you’d always love me to…”
“I always have.”
“You swore that you’d never break my heart.” I cried and he put his arm around my shoulder “noo… don’t.”
“But lily… I love you. You love me. We’re meant for each other…”
“Didn’t you hear me the first time.” I said attempting to dry my eyes “I love you, but I can’t!”
“Yes you can!” he pleaded
I put my head in my hands and began to cry again. “James I can’t put myself through this with you again…”
“No, James I can’t. I need to go.” I stood
But I kept walking…
*END OF CHAPTER 11*
ok everyone sadly there are only 3 more chapters left in this... however I have a new story up!! It's called "A Trick of Time" it's another Lily and James. For those of you who've been reading it the next chapter was just posted!! Thank you to all my reveiwers!! WAHOO! WE BROKE 200 REVIEWS!! and I'm sorry this was so short, but its summer and believe it or not I DO have a life outside of fanfiction! Expect the next chapter in a week.
Luv ya all!
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