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And Mayhem Ensues by starryskies55
Chapter 7 : Lily's Date
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 5

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edited 19/03/12

Hanging around with Lily and Alice was fun. There were no other words to describe the hilarity that came with being friends with them. Lily was annoyingly perfect in every way possible- but underneath her calm and composed exterior she was paddling like hell to keep up. Therefore, slip-ups were many, varied and always funny. Like when her tie went inexplicably missing so she sat up all night getting the right spell to duplicate mine- she was worried about the texture of the cloth. She could have borrowed mine, or Alice’s spare, but that solution didn’t even occur to her. Alice was perpetually happy, and had so much energy it was exhausting just to be around her. How we managed to keep up with her was nearly as unexplainable as why she wasn’t a Hufflepuff. Yellow was her favourite colour, and happiness was second nature. Even McGonagall couldn’t stay mad at her.

I knew all my lessons: Potions and Defence Against the Dark Arts with the Slytherins- much to my horror, Herbology and Care of Magical Creatures with the Hufflepuffs, Charms and Transfiguration with the Ravenclaws. I also took History of Magic along with Alice and a pile of Ravenclaws and also Ancient Runes with mostly Ravenclaws and Slytherins. My lessons were fun, but hard. I’d never had to sit and do work to a timetable before, except that fateful winter when I was fourteen, and my stepfather hired a tutor. What a joke. And the homework was awful. For a start off, we didn’t even go home.

I had also learnt that my other roommates were exactly how I thought they would be: the twins were complete bitches. Why Sirius even allowed Jess near him, let alone practically eat his face was beyond me.

So, now it’s Wednesday afternoon and the three of us had bunked lessons to help Lily get ready for her big date with the Ravenclaw; Garrett Ollivander; great nephew to none-other to than Ollivander the wand maker. Lily was insisting not to make a big deal out of it, but we were, of course. Garrett was unbelievably fit. Alice and I were hotly debating who got him after Lily: I maintained it had to be me because Alice had a boyfriend, but she dismissed that and told me that she had known Lily longer, and always had her cast-off clothes, so what made this any different?

I was trying to develop a convincing argument to persuade her that clothes and boys were in fact different, but Lily came out the bathroom in tears, hair wrapped in a towel, wearing a scratty dressing gown, blood running down her right leg and three huge spots.

“I’VE CUT MYSELF SHAVING AND RUN OUT OF SHAMPOO AND KICKED THOSE STUPID COW’S CAULDRON OVER AND ITS MELTED THE FLOOR AND I HEADBUTTED THE SHOWER CUBICLE AND... AND... AND I’VE GOT TWO SPOTS!” she wailed, sounding more like ‘those stupid cows’ than she probably wanted to. I didn’t even have the heart to point out she actually had three spots.

Alice and I got to work. Because Lily has such a lot of hair, I took charge of that, while Alice got to clear up the mess and calm down Lily’s hysterics. Yeah sure, the date’s no big deal. Pffft.

I got it hanging in a long glossy waterfall down her back, then screwed it up into a knot on the top of her head. Alice had picked out an outfit, a green top so ‘it’ll bring out your eyes’ and black jeans. We had no idea what they were going off to do -despite Alice sneaking into the Ravenclaw common room (what would the Marauders say?) and questioning everyone there- so we had no idea what was suitable.

Lily was so nervous she was saying everything that came into her head. “What if we go to a Regency-style ball and I’m really under-dressed? Or a funeral, and everyone takes offence that I’m wearing green? Or he doesn’t like my hair!”

I was offended. I had done her hair!

“It’s red! What if he hates gingers?!” Lily panicked.

I really had to bite my lip to stop laughing. “Is she always like this, and how do we calm her down?” I asked Alice in an undertone.

Alice rolled her eyes in an exasperated way. “It’s the only way,” she said regretfully, and slapped Lily hard across the face.

Lily’s hand flew up to her scarlet cheek.

“Thanks,” she muttered weakly.

“Can I have a go?” I asked, but Alice had gone dashing out the room. I sat with a now slightly swaying Lily to wait.

Alice came back with a large silvery cloak, which ran through my hands like water when I picked it up.

“It’s James’ invisibility cloak,” Alice explained. “I’ve nicked it so everyone won’t notice that she’s going out, and she can use it to get back in after curfew.”

“You're brilliant.”

Lily had stopped being freaky, and she was totally with it as we all strolled through the common room. She was under the cloak, and Alice and I were trying not to bump into her. James watched us suspiciously. I’m pretty sure he has a Lily-radar, and he knew she was with us. He didn’t say anything though, and we made it to the Entrance Hall without a hitch.

Garrett Ollivander was already waiting for Lily; looking oh so handsome. Alice and I waved bye to her, trying not to be all stupid and giggly and girly. Lily was normal- which was odd, considering the state she was in earlier. As soon as they were out of earshot, I asked Alice about it.

“It’s just a Lily-thing,” she said. “She’s ten times worse before exams.”

I inwardly shuddered. How could she be worse?

“Damn!” Alice suddenly said, as we watched them walk out into the grounds.


“We should have kept the cloak and spied on them.”

“You’re cruel. A genius, but very cruel.”

The cloak would also have come in handy when we saw the Slytherins in the next corridor.

I pushed Alice into the nearest classroom, which was thankfully empty, and shut the door behind us.

“What the hell are you doing?”

“Please shut up,” I whispered pleadingly, my ear pressed to the door and my wand drawn. Alice drew hers too, looking unsure.

Footsteps had stopped outside of the door, so I edged backwards slowly, making sure I was in front of Alice. She probably didn’t understand what was going on yet.

The door flew open with a bang, revealing four Slytherins. One had his sleeves rolled up, exposing meaty forearms.

I felt Alice’s hand on my shoulder, and then-


I Stunned the guy with hairy arms and he was knocked backwards, effectively flattening the Slytherin behind him.

A third Slytherin looked very surprised at my fast attack, and just stood there like a lemming, his mouth open. I Disarmed him- clearly brains were not his forte. Giving people like him magic and a wand is equivalent to getting a chimpanzee to run the country. All that will happen is dung will be thrown around.

Alice suddenly pushed me aside, shouting something incoherent and the fourth Slytherin which I had temporarily forgotten about was blasted through the open door and across the corridor. His head hit the wall with a sickening crunch and then he began to turn purple. Like, bright purple. Aubergine purple.

“What spell was that?” I turned to Alice but she was looking at her wand like she’d never seriously attacked anyone before with it.

Well, she probably hadn’t. Most people had normal, boring families, while I got one which had a serious reputation for being-

Alice?” She’d gone pretty green. I grabbed her arm and helped her step over the unconscious Slytherins, hurrying down the corridor. My motto could be ‘don’t linger at the scene of the crime’.

By the time we’d got half-way to the Gryffindor common room, Alice was normal.

“Sorry,” she said in a half-whisper. We had our wands out, the tips lit, but we didn’t want to cause any more disturbance.

“For what?”

“Going all freaky. I’ve never Stunned anyone before.”

“That was not Stunning,” I said, trying to hide a laugh, as Alice fixed me with a steely glare. Too soon to joke, apparently. “You did really well though.”

She ignored the compliment. “Are you going to tell me what that was about?”

“Am I hell.”

“Do you not think you should?”


“Next time, it could be the other way around!” Alice protested.

“There isn’t going to be a next time,” I half-growled, and refused to answer anything else.

Thursday morning. It was barely light. I always woke up early enough to see the sunrise. I didn’t often bother though, my bed was toasty warm and it was my time to think. I curled my toes under my duvet and checked my watch. Half six. Classes didn’t start till nine; how mad would Lily and Alice be if I woke them up now? Both were hags in the morning until they had coffee, and I had no idea what time Lily got in. I –slowly, regretfully- slipped out of bed. The stone floor was bloody freezing. I pulled on my slipper boots and a baggy jumper and slipped out and down to the common room. To my surprise, a fully dressed Remus was lounging on the sofa closest to the fire. He turned around and smiled at me.

“Why are you up so early?”

I grinned. “I figured it would be better to wake Alice and Lily up with coffee. Less likely to die.”

“I’ve given up trying to wake them up,” he said, jerking his thumb at the boy’s staircase. “They just swear and throw things at me. Mind if I come with you?”

“Of course not!”

“Don’t understand why they like coffee,” Remus said, as we walked towards the Great Hall. “It’s foul.”

“What do you drink then?”

“Tea!” he said, “A good British cuppa.”

“Tea is watery and ‘foul’,” I insisted, my fingers curving around the word. “Coffee is rich and beautiful and caffeine-filled.”

“Weight for weight, tea has the same amount of caffeine as coffee,” Remus said.

We reached the Great Hall, and although no-one was in there, there was already steaming jugs of tea and coffee. Remus helped me pour coffees, and then had a tea for himself.

“Try some,” he said. I gingerly took his cup, and took a tiny sip. I struggled not to spit it out. “Eurgh,” I said, wiping my mouth with my sleeve. “Tea is gross.”

He took a hearty chug, draining the cup, and refilled it. “It’s the drink of the gods,” he said, sounding ridiculously smug. He didn’t invent the damn drink.

I rolled my eyes, and we walked back. It was seven o’clock by the time I got back into my dormitory, and I set down their mugs next to them with a clunk.


Lily and Alice obediently and sleepily reached for their cups, while I perched on the bottom of Lily’s bed and waited, my mug warming my hands. Did you really think I would forget her date? I took a sip, and realised in my confusion with three identical mugs, I had Remus’ tea. My coffee was milky, his tea was strong, and it was easy to get mix them up. I couldn’t be arsed changing it though.

Lily was finally awake enough to tell us everything; which as it turned out, wasn’t much. We didn’t have to worry about the twins hearing; they wore earplugs and eye-masks like the ones Muggles wear on planes.

“We walked for ages outside, and then we had a slow dance under the trees,” her face lit up in a smile as she remembered “then we walked back, and he kissed me goodnight outside the common room.”

“That’s it?” Alice was as disappointed as I was.

“No, I forgot the part where we ripped each-others clothes off and had mad, passionate sex in the leaves,” she said, her voice muffled by her duvet. She was trying to go back to sleep. I kicked her.

“That was really all?”

“It was a Wednesday night, Eva. What else could we have done?”

“A Regency-style ball?” I suggested, but she kicked me straight back, and it really hurt.

“We’re going out this weekend again,” she said.

I threw an incredulous glance at Alice. “You mean after that whirlwind date you want another? You’re living the dream.”

I dodged out the way but I saw her leg move to kick me. “It was really nice,” she insisted. “He’s not like James.”

Alice raised her eyebrows at me, and I grinned back. She and James were meant to be.

In the common room at a more sociable hour, we met the Marauders. I saw my untouched coffee cup on a table, and smiled apologetically at Remus. James was in a foul mood.

“Why were you and Ollivander outside past curfew?” he demanded.

How did he even know? Did he actually have a Lily-radar?

“You never care about curfew, Potter,” she replied, neatly sidestepping the question.

Ollivander?” he asked dangerously.

“No, Evans,” she said. “Remember?”

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Alice dash back up their dorm to put back his invisibility cloak. No wonder they were able to pull off so many pranks.

James actually growled- he looked extra cute when he was angry- but Lily grabbed my arm and pulled me down to breakfast. I wiggled my eyebrows at them, hoping to convey; ‘sorry, but you’ve gone and made Lily mad, and now I’ll have to deal with it, and oh, you’re an idiot’.

My eyebrows are very expressive.

A/N: Please tell me what you think in a lovely review. And tea or coffee? What do you prefer? I live only on tea.... unless I fancy a coffee. And then I have a coffee.

Much love! xx

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