Chapter 9 : Chapter 9
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I walk up to the castle alone.
I’d had the perfect plan, and it was almost perfectly executed.
The plan? Kiss Mads. Well, I’d done that. The what came after is where it got a little messy.
I’d been walking into the boys changing rooms, and suddenly I knew that I had to kiss Maddie. It wasn’t a question of if it was the right thing to do, or what might happen if I did, I just knew I had to.
So I did.
Only, since I didn’t know why I’d needed to, I couldn’t very well explain to her why I’d needed to. And that’s when she ran away.
Basically, we need to talk.
If I ever figure out what the hell I’m going to say.
The next day, I wake up feeling like I hadn’t slept at all. Which, basically, I hadn’t.
I’d been up all night, thinking about Sirius. Not just about the kiss, but about everything leading up to it. Waking him up before the snowball fight, how he’d looked with his shirt off, the way he’d tackled me to the ground, how it felt to have him on top of me, the casual way he sauntered into the changing room, the even more casual way he’d tossed out comments like “We’ve never snogged each other.”
And then I thought about the kiss. The kiss that makes my head spin, my heart beat louder, my stomach go into knots just thinking about it.
And then I thought about how I’d run away, like a stupid little girl.
But what was I supposed to do? He’d caught me totally off guard, and then left me with no explanation.
Was I just another snog to him? I mean, the way he’d put it, it almost sounded like I was just one to check off the list. This was Sirius Black we were talking about. There was no way of knowing if he’d even mention it again. Just another snog for Sirius Black. Just another snog for Madison Lane. And, as he’d implied when he initiated that conversation, with all the people we’ve snogged, why not each other, right? It didn’t have to mean anything, right?
“Maddie, you should get up, we’re leaving in an hour,” Alice calls. I open my hangings and start getting ready.
“Maddie, are you alright?” asks Lily concernedly. “You look quite tired.”
Okay, so I didn’t exactly tell Lily and Alice about the kiss.
It’s strange. Normally I tell them everything. It’s not as if I don’t want them to know, it’s just…I need to figure out what happened before I can share it with them. Knowing them, they’ll want to analyze everything, what it meant to him, what it meant to me, what’s going to happen next. And I’m just not ready for that.
“I’m fine,” I tell her. “Just ready to go home.”
Where James lives next door.
Where Sirius is staying.
“Padfoot, get out of bed. If you miss the train, my mum isn’t going to be happy. For some reason, she actually wants to see you.”
I climb out of bed as James has ordered. At least I’m all packed, which is unlike me. I couldn’t sleep very well last night so I stayed up packing.
“Relax, Prongs, I’m packed,” I say.
“What?” asks James. Then he spots my trunk, everything inside and ready to go. “Blimey,” he says. “What’s with you?”
I didn’t tell Prongs what happened with Mads. I definitely need some time to clear my head.
And I’m going to have to do it fast, considering I have to spend the whole train with her. But then I’m free, at Prongs’s house.
Where I’m staying.
Where Mads lives next door.
Lily, Alice, and I board the train and find an empty compartment. I notice Lily looks a little troubled. I expect it’s her dread of having to see her sister.
“So, Lils, can we expect you on the 26th?” I say cheerfully.
Lily smiles. “I’d expect so. Petunia’s going to want me gone as soon as possible.”
“Well, we’re going to want to there as soon as possible,” I assure her. “And you won’t have to deal with Petunia and her awful boyfriend. What’s his name again?”
“Vernon,” Lily says with a shudder.
“Right, him. You can just come have a spectacular time at my house.”
“And the Potters’ New Year’s Eve party,” Alice adds. “Don’t forget about that.”
“Who could forget about that?” says a good-natured voice loudly, and the compartment door slides open. James enters, followed by Sirius, Remus, and Peter.
Sirius glances at me and then looks away, so quickly I could’ve imagined it.
But I know I didn’t.
“All of you had better be there,” says James. “And Frank,” he adds to Alice.
Alice smiles. “Don’t worry, we’ll be there. I’m going to go find him now, actually.” She gets up and leaves, leaving the seat next to me empty.
“Sit down,” Lily says to the boys. James takes the opportunity and sits right next to her. Peter has already sat down without being told, and he’s curled up against the window, sleeping. Remus sits down next to James.
Which leaves the spot next to me for Sirius.
He sits down, not as lazily as he would have under normal circumstances, not stretched out, no arm draped over my shoulders.
“So, what are everyone’s plans for the holidays?” asks Lily, in an effort to avoid talking about her own.
“A little bird told me that you will be staying at a certain Lane residence,” says James to Lily.
“Would that little bird happen to be Maddie?” asks Lily amusedly.
“Yes,” says James happily. “But you know what this means, don’t you? You and I will be spending a lot of time together.”
“Will we now?”
“Oh, yes,” says James seriously. “You and me, Maddie and Sirius-”
“There’s no ‘Maddie and Sirius’,” I say quickly before I can stop myself.
James gives me a strange look. I try not to blush. I can’t even look at Sirius.
“All I meant was the four of us should get together,” he says, looking at me oddly. “You alright, Maddie?”
“She’s exhausted; she didn’t get any sleep last night,” says Lily, rescuing me.
“Yeah, neither did Padfoot,” says James. “You two had better catch up on your sleep before the party; it’s going to be a fun time!”
“I’ll put it at the top of my priority list,” I say sarcastically. Really right now, I couldn’t care less about the party. What I care about is what Maddie just said.
There is no Maddie and Sirius.
Does that mean she doesn’t want there to be a her and Sirius?
She hasn’t looked at me since I sat down here.
And she didn’t get any sleep last night either.
Does that mean she wants there to be a her and Sirius?
Wait, do I even want there to be a her and Sirius?
This is so damn confusing.
I must have fallen asleep, because I feel the train jolt to a stop and it wakes me up. Then I realize I’m not lying on a pillow, unless my pillow is wearing a t-shirt and has muscles. I open my eyes and my fear is confirmed.
I fell asleep on Sirius.
“Sorry!” I say, springing up as quickly as I can.
“It’s okay,” he says, looking amused.
“What is with you today, Maddie?” asks Lily. “You’re so jumpy.”
“It’s just Sirius,” adds James. “He’s not going to hurt you for falling asleep on him.”
It’s just Sirius.
Yeah, it was just Sirius, until last night when the idiot went and kissed me for no good reason and made everything all awkward and confusing!
“I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t-er- hurting him,” I say. Wow. Really, Lane? That was the best you could come up with?
Lily and James look at me strangely while Sirius chuckles. “No need to worry about me,” he says, and he looks me in the eye for the first time that day. “I’m just fine.”
Well isn’t that just bloody dandy for you! Some of us, however, are not fine! Some of us were fine until you had to go and kiss them and confuse them, thus making them not fine!
We file out of the compartment, and I make sure I’m well ahead of Sirius. We get off the train and I immediately spot my parents, chatting amiably with Mr. and Mrs. Potter.
“Mum! Dad!” I call, making my way over to them. My mother catches sight of me and her face breaks into a huge smile.
As soon as I reach her, I hug her tightly.
“I’ve missed you!” she says.
“I’ve missed you too,” I tell her truthfully, and I didn’t realize how much I missed her until just now, when we’re finally together again.
I hug my father, and then James’s parents.
“Maddie, my goodness, you look so grown up!” exclaims James’s mother.
“You always say that, Aunt Laura,” I say.
“Well, stop growing and I’ll stop saying it,” she says with a smile. “I’ve just got to say something about my boys though, don’t I?” She beams at James and Sirius. “They’re quite the lookers, aren’t they Maddie?”
“Er, sure,” I say. Sirius winks at me. I feel myself blushing and inwardly curse him and his stupid good looks.
“Well, let’s head home,” says my father jovially.
“We have so much baking to do, Maddie!” says my mother. “I couldn’t bring myself to start without you. We just have two days until Christmas so we’ve got to work fast. And of course we’ll bring some to the Potters’ on Christmas Day.”
“Sounds great, Mum,” I say. And really it does.
But I can’t stop thinking about Sirius.
A/N: Sorry this is kind of a short one, guys. It was just the logical place to end the chapter. However, more is on the way! In the meantime, let me know what you thought. Thanks for reading!
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