Chapter 12 : Chapter Eleven: The Bludgers and the Rows
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Stupid ass wipe. Ignorant prick. Pathetic dick...okay...let’s start insulting him in a more sophisticated British way...ahem...Bloody tosser, Ruddy wanker, Damn prat...
I can’t believe it.
He turned his back on me for that stupid trollop. He abandoned his best friend of six years for his stupid three week pathetic excuse for a girlfriend. Then he had the nerve to tell me that I was the wrong one here. Okay, maybe yelling at his girlfriend wasn’t the best idea, but does that mean he should totally start ignoring me and acting like I’m the bane of his freaking existence? Since when was James Sirius Potter one for just throwing away six year long amazing friendships full of memories and awesome epicness for stupid sappy three week make out fests? Was I really not worth anything to him? At all?
It’s been a week since I got back to Hogwarts. Things have been normal...except all the guys are starting to become interested in Rose...who is definitely doing everything in her power to avoid Malfoy...who seems to be appearing in every corridor she walks down. Lily is a lot more nasty these days, now with Rose on the Quidditch team and everyone taking a new interest in her. At least she and Malfoy were still friends.
Then there’s me. I am a walking fireball of wrath. I haven’t spoken to James ever since our little chat. The only interaction I’ve had with him is Quidditch practice...which is like three times a day because he’s a fucking insane psycho path about the sport...and he barks at us to run laps. Especially me.
He seriously seems to be in a worse mood than I am. Whoever said that men don’t have symptoms of PMS are seriously shitting themselves.
I mean come on!
“Wrong move Smithson, what are you? A bloody first year!!”
“Don’t look at me like that! Do you want to get kicked off the team?”
“That’s it! Ten laps! NOW!!!”
I am going to murder the damn bastard in his sleep. Other than that, he won’t look at me in the face...nor will he even speak one word to me. Plus, whenever I see him outside of Quidditch practice, he’s always laughing and holding hands with Elisha.
And it really does hurt.
I don’t know what’s triggering this hostility because the James I knew would never have abandoned me like this. He would’ve just scolded me a bit, joked about it...and then we’d kiss and make up. (Okay...not the kissing part...but I sure wished we did.)
It also makes it worse that I’m still head over heels smack down on the fucking gravel smitten with him.
The Weasley-Potters also have noticed that James and I aren’t on speaking terms and I can tell that they don’t like it at all. In fact, I think they’re all going to be suffering from hernias if James and I don’t get over our shit.
Especially Rose and Albus.
Albus was like on his knees begging me to talk to his brother and Rose just sighed sadly whenever I muttered something very violent about James.
Then there’s Derrick. My boyfriend. He’s been noticing my very pissy attitude and is being a total sweetheart about it. I know that this should make me appreciate him even more than I already do...but it just kind of makes me depressed. I need someone who can snap back at me and joke without feeling like they’re treading on fragile shells...someone like James.
Actually...the two people that do manage to make the days manageable are Melody and Jeremy. Melody just talks about Quidditch, so it gives me a good distraction while Jeremy just sits there looking handsome and intelligent. It cracks me up.
“...And you know....Puddlemere isn’t that bad. I know you hate them Els...but that Oliver Wood sure can keep...” Melody spoke rapidly as she skipped next to me...my hand in Derrick’s as we strolled the black lake.
It’s kind of weird to have your boyfriend’s best friends tag along on what’s supposed to be a private moment. But I was relieved nonetheless for one reason or another.
Derrick on the other hand looked just plain irritated.
“Melody...didn’t you say you had astronomy homework?” He seethed through gritted teeth.
“Nooooope!!” She sing songed, her dark hair bouncing playfully. “I just paid Jeremy ten galleons to do it for me.”
Jeremy rolled his eyes and ran his hand through his beautiful blonde hair. “What would you do without me?” He asked her with a sigh.
She shot him a grin. “I would shag a hippogriff and then eat it for supper.”
Okay...so how did that just make sense? But apparently for Melody and Jeremy it made total sense, as they exchanged knowing looks. Derrick just rolled his eyes and shook his head.
I don’t want to know.
“Els!! Derrick!!!! HEY ELAQUAY!!” I heard someone yell with an annoying shrill voice. I clenched my teeth and flinched, knowing fully well who that voice belonged to. I turned my head to see Rose running up to me, her long frizzy red hair swaying behind her as she ran toward me, a determined look on her face.
She finally paused in front of me, trying to catch her breath. She looked extremely winded. I watched as she gave an uneasy look at Derrick, whose hand was in mine.
“Erm....James just called a Quidditch practice, and he expects everyone to be at the Quidditch Pitch now...” She said, still looking at Derrick uneasily. I looked at my boyfriend’s face to see that his face was contorted in pure irritation at my friend. A feeling of anger built up within me. Rose did absolutely nothing wrong! I noticed that she was casting a strange uncomfortable look at Jeremy, who was staring at her with his mouth a bit open, a dazed expression on his face.
Oh god....please don’t let Jeremy develop a crush on Rose. That’ll lead to a problem that will somehow involve me.
Because that’s just the way it works.
I gave a huge sigh, feeling dread fill my body. I would never turn down a game of Quidditch, but the whole idea of a stupid mofo with an oversized head...that just happens to be my ex-best friend and love of my life (can’t help the melodramatics here) yelling at me to hit a bludger with more force....
Yup...I would rather die right now. Especially with his stupid ass girlfriend sitting in the stands at every practice we have. Is he seriously freaking stupid? When has his sappy romantic love life gotten in the way of house competition and the Quidditch team? They’re still big factors here, dammit!
But I knew that I had to go. I knew immediately that it wouldn’t be that fun, but I can’t just let some stupid ass dunderhead with the ability to make my insides melt stop me from playing Quidditch. That would be a mortal sin.
The Quidditch gods would never forgive me.
So Derrick and I nodded goodbyes to Melody and Jeremy (who was still gawking at Rose like an idiot), before we followed Rose to the pitch.
We walked in an uncomfortable silence, my hand intertwined in Derrick’s, and Rose a few feet ahead of us, not bothering to look back to make sure we were still following. My limbs felt like lead and with each step, I felt more and more nauseous. I tightened my grip on my boyfriend’s hand, who was looking at me with a worried expression.
“You okay, Els?” He asked tenderly. I didn’t dare look into his eyes.
“Fine.” I muttered quietly, biting my lip as we approached the stands.
Rose still didn’t even bother to look at me until we both walked into the girl’s locker room. Even then, as she wordlessly changed into her scarlet Quidditch robes, she still seemed rather tight lipped.
It was really bugging me.
“Rose?” I asked, hesitantly. My voice sounded strange, even to me. It sounded weak and monotone, lacking emotion. That’s when I realized how much my relationship with Rose has been waning in the last week.
Ever since the fight that James and I had, I’ve been spending most of my time with Derrick, Melody, and Jeremy. I only talk to Rose a bit before bed and sometimes during classes. I haven’t been paying much attention to her or the rest of the Weasley-Potters at all for that matter. I’ve been isolating myself from them.
The feeling sent a cold chill through me.
Rose probably really wanted me by her side right now, especially since she has conflicting feelings about Scorpius...who isn’t making it any easier for her, she has older brothers who are ready to kill him if me makes one more move, she feels a bit guilty and rash about having sex with him, and she basically is living with the pain of realizing that she and her younger cousin are on very violent and unspeakable terms right now.
Plus...her cousin and her best friend aren’t speaking at all.
See, conflicts and drama like this don’t touch the Weasley-Potters. Nothing is supposed to break them. Their diversity and little mishaps make them a strong family, and family comes first no matter what.
I guess the events of this year are an exception for Rose.
So when she turned her body to look at me with a dark expression on her face, I wasn’t surprised.
“I’ve made the decision that I will not speak to you, Elaquay.” She said firmly as she attempted to pull her thick mane of curly red hair back into a pony tail. It wasn’t working to say the least.
“Um....” I responded like the idiot I was.
That’s when she fired up, and her curly hair looked morel like fiery snakes. I couldn’t help but back up a little bit.
“I hate this, Els! I hate this fighting, this confusion, this....everything. And I-I miss you...” Her voice broke on the last three words and my insides felt like they were being slashed with a knife made of nothing but metal and hot guilt.
“No! I’m not talking to you! Nor am I talking to James! I won’t address either of you on civil terms until you two finally stop acting like children and make up! Seriously....after six years of friendship...and you two let this get in the way?” She was venting, ranting....her eyes turned into slits and her wild hair looking wilder and wilder by the second.
I gave a shaky sigh and responded, “F-Fine. I’ll try and talk to him.”
Pshhhh...easier said than done.
Trust me, I felt awful about Rose and I did realize how much I missed her as well.
But sometimes those feelings are pushed away when the person who you’re supposed to be making up with is going ape-shit on you just because you accidentally tilted your elbow a bit to far to the left when you hit the bludger with the bat.
Oh...and it doesn’t help that Elisha is watching from the stands with a punch drunk expression on her face, and her long red hair billowing in the breeze. Stupid Witch Weekly bitch.
It also adds to the whole melodramatic angst effect when my heart pounds and my blood boils with conflicting emotions every time I look at him, realizing how much I miss him...how pissed I am with him...how beautiful his eyes are....how sexy he looks when he’s pissed....
Oh...look....he’s shouting at me again.
“DO YOU WANT TO WIN THIS DAMN CUP OR NOT, SMITHSON???” He yelled at me, hovering gracefully on his damn broom. His eyes were fixated on me and I wanted nothing more than to kiss him...or punch him in the goddamn face...or a strange mutation of both.
I snarled aggressively at him, and yelled back, “SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU IGNORANT BASTARD!”
I knew that Rose was probably drowning in frustration and tears right now, and that Lily was probably just watching this whole thing unfold with that strange mixture of interest and irritation.
“SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT ONE MORE TIME AND IT’S FIFTEEN LAPS!!” He growled at me. I could tell that he was getting all worked up. It was kind of satisfying in a way, since his anger spurred my adrenaline. Damn...I realized that being with James...even if it’s like this....just makes me feel so much more alive.
“KISS MY ASS!!!” I spat at him like a spitting cobra. I knew that Derrick wasn’t far behind me, hovering on his broom. I just hoped he wouldn’t try to intervene or something. I like fighting my own battles.
And James well knew it.
He looked like an angry very attractive Greek god. That’s the only way to describe right now...especially with that sun hitting him at just the right angle. It was only me and him.
“THAT’S IT!!!!! FIFTEEN LAPS!!! NOW!!!!” He screamed wildly, maniacally thrusting his finger toward the ground.
Yeah, no way in hell is that going to happen. Not on his damn orders. He knows that I don’t like being bossed around. We both don’t like to be bossed around and we learned that about each other the hard way...back in second year. But that is a story to be saved for later.
And I’ve taken enough bossing around for a while.
I didn’t respond, and I knew that he was still yelling at me.
“SMITHSON!!! LAPS!!! NOW!!!”
Oh...look a bludger!!
“I’M WARNING YOU....”
Hmm...it seems to be coming this way.
“WHY YOU LITTLE...”
Bludger...meet bat. Bat meet bludger. Bludger and bat combination...meet James Sirius Potter and his face.
“I SWEAR TO MERLIN’S DA-”
Yes. I did do it. I couldn’t believe that I did it. But I did...and everything seemed to be in stand still as the bludger met James’s face with such force that it knocked him clean off of his broom.
And when I say he was knocked off of his broom...I mean that he flew backwards like a bullet shot from a gun and hit the pole part of the goal post with a huge slam. Then....he went down...down...down....
And I knew that he was unconcious.
He was out the moment that the bludger met his face.
I’m not sure if I regretted it or not. It was to early to tell. I was just sort of numb as I saw his limp body get caught by a zooming Albus and a struggling Lily.
Then the chaos ensued. People were gawking at me, shouting obscenities at me, and Rose...Rose.... I turned my head to see that her face was pale as she stared at me...her expression filled with nothing but just plain shock and disbelief.
I dared to fly my broom toward James’s body on the ground.
I must say that he didn’t look to good.
Albus was slapping him lightly across the face, a panicked expression on his face as he called out, “James...James....”, while Lily was siphoning the huge amounts of blood that was streaming from his nose.
The sight made my stomach churn.
I guess I not only suffer from word vomit...but also freaking impulse vomit.
I cannot believe what I just did. I have just knocked out my best friend with a bludger out of pure spite. Okay, ex-best friend...but that’s still not justifiable. Especially since it’s James.
I felt the lump fill my throat as I lightly landed on my feet, my eyes glued to the little huddle of people that were starting to surround James. I felt isolated, alone, guilty....I felt like a complete bitch.
Yes, he may have deserved it...but I really shouldn’t have done it.
Why the fuck did I do it?
Then....my stomach churned even more as I saw none other than Elisha Garrett, running across the field, her long red hair billowing behind her and her face contorted in fear.
“Oh Merlin....” She exclaimed as she pushed past the group of people that were huddled around James.
“James!!!” She cried, her voice full of devastation...as if she were some sort of sappy bitch who had just dramatically lost her damn lover...like an actor from one of those renaissance plays or something. Please, give me a freaking break.
I didn’t move, yet every pore in my body was burning with anger, confusion, devastation, and complete utter guilt. I bit my lip as I thought of James....bloody and unresponsive...just because of my moment of bitterness and anger. Just because I thought it would be completely swell if I shot a damn bludger at his face.
“Well done.” Said a cold voice at my side. I took a deep breath, feeling my lungs ice up as I turned to see Rose. She was glaring darkly at me, her blue eyes dangerous slits and her red hair looking absolutely wind swept and flammable.
“Thanks.” I muttered in a monotone response.
Rose just shook her head and gave a defeated sigh. “As pissed as I am for knocking out my cousin, I can’t deny that he actually deserved it.”
A sense of utter relief filled my insides, but it couldn’t get rid of the bitter ice that was coating my lungs. I...I just still can’t believe what I did. I mean, I’ve hit bludgers at James before....but I’ve never had the heart to knock him out. That was saved for stupid ass wiping Slytherins.
“Oh...and watch out. Angry bitch alert.” Rose said darkly, motioning subtly to Elisha...who...to my horror...was storming at me, her eyes narrow and dangerous.
Oh god....this is not going to be pretty.
“You stupid, ignorant, bloody BITCH!!” She screamed, her voice as loud and as annoying as a mandrake’s. I wanted to hack my ears out with a medieval torturing device.
I visibly flinched as she towered over me...her tall willowy figure totally dominating my small leprachaun-like presence.
Rose backed up a bit, knowing fully well that I liked to fight my own battles.
Elisha snarled angrily at me, her beautiful features distorting into something that was reminiscent of a disemboweled Medusa or something.
And it pissed me off.
“You insensitive little slag! How dare you hurt my James! You have no right....”
Yup. I’m officially pissed beyond all reason.
“Your James? Reality check, babe...but James isn’t a posession, especially not for obsessive girlfriends who have only been making out with him for the past three weeks.” I snarled, my blood boiling like a volcano as I glared up at her.
Elisha’s shadow seemed to become more ominous. Dammit...if only I hadn’t dropped my damn beater’s bat....
“So he is the posession of a bitchy pathetic trollop who hits their friends with bludgers and can barely stand on those two little chubby pegs you call legs?” She lashed back at me, smirking at my reddening face.
Did she seriously just insult the length and stature of my legs?
I wanted to retort so badly....to scream, to rip her hair out of her skull, to disembowel her....or bite her ankles...but I felt a long arm snake around my shoulder, and then push me back, as if I were a precious thing being guarded.
I looked up to see that Derrick was glaring at Elisha...and they definitely looked more evenly matched, for Elisha was freaking tall and was only a few inches shorter than Derrick.
Plus, the way the sun hit the two at an angle made them look like ancient immortals fighting a battle. Then...there was me...the little angry leprechaun with chubby pegs for legs.
“Back off, Garrett. Don’t talk to my girlfriend like that.” He sneered, narrowing his eyes at the beautiful girl.
So, a normal girl would swoon at this, would find her affections for her lover pouring out of her heart like an unstoppable river as she watches her lover defend her in a fight, knowing fully well that he would always be able to sweep her off her feet and then ride off in to the sunset.
Watching Derrick defend me just pissed me off even more.
How much do I have to stress that I like to fight my own damn battles?
I remember when this boy named Adam Rogers in my kindergarten class back in Oregon stole my favorite blanket during nap time. He ridiculed me and laughed about it as I went all post-toddler apeshit on him. The teachers tried to intervene, but I was defiant to get that blanket back myself. I felt that it was mine, so it was my duty to fight for it...and fight for it I did. Let’s just say that Adam Rogers went home with his mother, crying hysterically, and sporting a black eye. Yes, I got a time out and my parents were called...but hey...it was fucking damn worth it. I got my blanket back and it felt great.
It hasn’t changed since. I think of my blanket and my determination to tear down those who stand in the way of it...and I let it all out.
But then there’s the inhibitors...the heroes...the stupid ass wipes that just have this impulse to defend a lady who appears to be in need, even if she doesn’t want it. The thing I hate more than anything is being a damsel in distress.
I immediately attempted to swat away Derrick’s arm, but he kept it defiantly in front of me. That just made me angrier...for Elisha’s eyebrow was shooting up as she saw him defend me.
“Derrick...move...” I sneered through gritted teeth, but he wouldn’t budge.
He turned to look down at me. “Just go back to the castle.” He said.
“Hell no!” I screeched.
Elisha sneered, “I was talking to Smithson, not you Finnigan. Let her talk to me.”
Wow...I never thought that I’d agree with the stupid ho. But I guess there’s always a first time right?
Derrick didn’t listen. He just avoided my eyes and cast a look at Rose. “Take her back to the castle.” He demanded.
A fury built up within my stomach, and it heightened even more as I realized that everyone on the Quidditch pitch was watching the little smack down. It was supposed to be my damn smack down. Not Derrick’s.
Rose still looked extremely pale as she hesitantly approached me and placed a tentative hand on my shoulder. I quickly brushed it off and remained adamant. I glared back at my boyfriend.
“Derrick!!” I growled, trying to push past his arm, trying to avoid Elisha’s glare. I felt humiliated and so small....I hated being protected like this...blocked by someone who was bigger than me...who thought he could just boss me around....
And Rose! How could she listen to him? She knows that I hate being defended!!!
“Elaquay! Just go back to the castle!” He exclaimed in a frustrated tone. This made my insides curdle, but I felt everything in me deflate. I was just so pissed and overwhelmed that I didn’t protest as Rose quickly and quietly steered me off the pitch and away from the staring eyes.
Once we were in the locker room, I found myself round on Rose.
“How could you?”
She gave an exhausted sigh and responded, “You already made yourself look like a violent psychopath. I think that it was best that you didn’t heighten that reputation.”
Her response bugged me.
Especially since she wouldn’t look at me in the eyes. She just proceeded to slip her Quidditch robes off and then change into her school robes.
I felt the frustration consume me whole, biting at my insides. I can’t believe this.
I cannot believe that James, my best friend of six years, is dating someone as freaking fake as Elisha Garrett and is willing to throw away our friendship because of it, that I actually have a boyfriend who is a bit to sweet, that Rose and Lily are in this huge epic Lord of the Rings worthy brawl over Scorpius Malfoy, and that I bashed James’s head in with a bludger.
Oh...and I cannot believe that I still have feelings for him.
So I just started to groan in anger and frustration. I probably looked like an idiot...a pathetic one at that.
And judging by the flat patronizing look on Rose’s face, I knew that I looked extremely sexy right now. (Please note my sarcasm.)
So that’s how it went. I just fumed in anger and unintelligible words with a very exhausted Rose at my side as we made our way back to the Hogwarts castle, not looking back at the Quidditch pitch.
But my stomach was churning. I had just knocked my best friend out with a bludger, and then....left.
Was I really turning into a heartless bitch?? Am I the bad one here?
So....a couple of days have passed and James is still in the hospital wing. Apparently he had just woken up a few hours ago from a rather bad traumatic coma all because of me. It kind of sent a twisted feel of pride and sickness through me...to know that I was a beater for the reason...that I was able to knock out someone as strong and fit as James, but it also made me feel nauseous to know that he was injured...and it was because of me.
I never visited him in the hospital. I knew that it wouldn’t be a good idea.
First of all, Elisha is there like twenty four seven. I don’t think that me showing up with a box of chocolates and red roses would be very beneficial to the foundation of this school...or my face.
Second of all, he was also surrounded by family. Never would I have thought that I would be on bad terms with the Weasley-Potters. But there’s always a first time for everything.
See, I know they love me to death...but when anyone messes with a member of the family in any way, shape, or form....they become a rather nasty lot. I’m not saying that they are acting like a whole bunch of pissy bolsheviks whenever they see me, but they still make it clear that they are pissed at me.
Albus isn’t regarding my existence unless absolutely necessary, Lily and Dom both scowl whenever they see me, Fred turns the other way whenever I’m around, and Molly and Lucy are both being downright bitches. As for Hugo and Louis...well I don’t see them around much.
The only one who still treats me normally (to an extent) is Rose. Despite her decision to not talk to me until I made up with James, she is still on speaking terms with me. Yes, she’s a bit colder towards me than usual, but she is the only one who understands why I did what I did and can find justification in my actions.
Yes, I haven’t told any of the other Weasley-Potters why James and I are on disagreeable terms. I never told them that I screamed at Elisha, that James basically threw away our six year long friendship for his stupid three week fling....Nope. They never asked. When they noticed that we were fighting, all they wanted was for us to become friends again.
Plus, I don’t want to tell them. It’ll be to overwhelming.
Anyway, aside from that...I got detention for the whole fiasco. McGonagall lectured me for a whole hour about “sickening actions” and “harm upon another teammate” ...blah blah blah. She almost took away my Quidditch privledges, but I knew that with a twitch of her temple...ol Minnie couldn’t do it. She loved her house to much.
To add on to this baggage, all of the Gryffindors are either frightened of me, or despise me...particularly the Quidditch members. Yes, they grumble and groan in anger...but they never request for my removal from the team. Thank Merlin for that.
Oh...and Derrick and I got in a row. I told him how I didn’t want to be protected and that crap while he just went on to say that he just felt like it was the right thing to do....and blah blee bleck blabbity...whatever. We’re still together, but we’re not on the best of terms right now.
So really, the last few days have been hell. Rose, Melody, and Jeremy are the only ones who can actually add any sort of meaning to my crappy and very angsty life. You know...the life of a typical American girl in a magical boarding school in Europe...it should become a hit.
But, it’s getting kind of weird since Jeremy is totally hitting on Rose, who is not only a bit creeped out by it, but is stressed and confused about the whole Malfoy ordeal...which seems to be getting worse.
Whenever she isn’t around, Melody always teases Jeremy about his infatuation with Rose while he just scowls and mumbles something about liking redheads.
Is that the new hit nowadays? The new shebang? What is totally rad and chic?
What is up with this new enchantment of redheads?
I mean seriously....James is eloped with Elisha, Scorpius has two redheads on his mind...Lily and Rose...who is also being crushed on by Jeremy. Then there’s me...and I’m dating Derrick...who is frustrated with me. It’s just like an octagon of redheaded action. It’s kind of creepy.
What’s next? Molly going all lesbian and hooking up with Sarah Corner?
Okay...BAD IMAGE!!! BAD IMAGE!!! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!
I shuddered at the thought as I walked down the corridor, Rose at my side. She turned her head to stare at me quizically.
“What?” I asked nervously. I hate when people stare at me? Did I mention that?
Rose just gave another sigh and shook her head. “Nothing.”
It’s kind of sad really. Life just isn’t happening as it’s supposed to be.
Even Rose’s sighs made me really depressed...even on this fine fine sunny Saturday. I should be ecstatic that I don’t have classes today. I mean look at all the dandy opportunities available for someone like me!!!
I could go swimming in the black lake and attempt to climb one of the giant squid’s tentacles (been there, done that, fourth year, long story involving James and Albus), or I could play Quidditch (ugh....makes me think of James), or maybe just making a mess in the corridors just to piss Filch off. I get a sick twisted amusement out of seeing him run like a two legged dog, huffing and wheezing like a sick cow.
Well....unless it’s in the middle of the night and after hours. Then it’s quite frightening.
But nothing sounded appealing. All I really wanted to do....all I...what did I want to do?
Oh yeah...I know what I wanted to do. I wanted to go see James. I wanted to go to the hospital wing and apologize for knocking him out with a bludger....I also wanted the friendship back....but....I also wanted him to admit that he was being a stupid asshole.
Okay, I’m at fault here as well...at least I admit it to myself. But I want to know that he realize that I’m not the only one with a venemous tentacular up my nonexistent scrotum.
In all honesty...I just miss him. I really do.
Nothing’s the same without him. Yes, that sounds like a melodramatic line from a romance movie...but its absolutely true. Whether it’s romantic or not, I want my best friend back.
I want the Weasley-Potter family to be a part of my life again...and if accepting Elisha came as a package deal...then so be it.
That’s easier said than done.
Usually, I’m not afraid of people. I say what I need to say to them and push them aside.
But I am deathly afraid of Elisha. She’s the main reason why I don’t dare step foot near the hospital wing because she’s always there!! I know this because Rose goes to visit him frequently and has to deal with her worrying and “Jamesy-coddling” moments. You know how nauseous that makes me feel?
It makes me feel so pathetic that I’m allowing this stupid bitch to stop me from even visiting him to see if he’s alright. I bet you anything he hates me more than ever now that he’s found out that I haven’t even visited him once. I mean, I owe him that much don’t I? Especially since I’m the reason he’s even in the goddamn place to begin with.
“Els...I-I think you should go visit James.” Rose said, her tone a bit hesitant, but laced with finality. It was almost like an order...a very desperate order.
“I don’t think that it’s a good idea.” I responded, but I felt my resolve crumple. My insides ached.
“If you’re worried about Elisha, it’s nothing. She’s actually not bad at all to be honest. She’s actually quite pleasant...I just think she’s a bit overprotective of people she really cares abou-” Rose tried to reason with me.
But I cut her off.
“Pleasant?” I remarked flatly. “Do you actually listen to a word I say?”
Rose huffed impatiently. “Look Elaquay, you’re the one who approached her first and basically verbally assaulted her.”
“So you’re defending....” I started, feeling my blood boil to the maximum point. I could fucking make top ramen with how much it was bubbling. And damn...it would taste freaking good.
“Nope. Not defending. Just stating the facts.” She reassured quickly. I sure as hell didn’t feel reassured.
I just grumbled under my breath, thinking of insanely violent ways to destroy Elisha Garrett and her beautiful red head willowyness.
Rose gave yet another sigh of annoyance at my behavior and started to talk again in that agonizing ‘know-it-all’ tone. “Look Elaquay, you have a boyfriend and James has a girlfriend. I know you fancy him, but all of this shouldn’t ruin everything....you should just- OH!”
She immediately went as white as a sheet as she looked at her feet, starting to tread behind me. She looked like she wanted nothing more than to dissapear.
And I knew why.
Coming down the corridor was none other than the insanely attractive Scorpius malfoy...his blonde hair ruffled and his tie undone. He was walking side by side with none other than...oh shit...Lily Potter, who was also looking extremely gorgeous...if not a bit promiscuous. Seriously, that girl can pass for eighteen (despite her size).
They were both talking and laughing. It seemed friendly enough...well on Malfoy’s behalf. He looked genuinely happy to be around Lily...but that it was it. I could see it now and it was like a sudden revelation. It was platonic. Malfoy didn’t like Lily like that.
But Lily on the other half...was giving off little sly laughs and coy glances. She was smooth...I’ll give her that...but I don’t think Malfoy is taking any of it. I think that he’s made up his mind.
He just doesn’t know it yet.
Or he doesn’t have the balls to say anything.
As we passed them, I saw Lily scowl at the two of us while Malfoy’s grey eyes fixated on Rose, who was determinedly avoiding his gaze, her cheeks pink. Again...I can feel the visible tension between the two, and it made me feel a bit awkward.
So we just kept walking, not looking back until they were completely out of sight.
“Holy Merlin...He’s everywhere!” Rose exclaimed in an exasperated whisper. I watched as she nervously tugged at her frizzy red curls and her big blue eyes widen even more.
“I can’t get away from him...I just can’t!” She kept going. Uh-oh...I feel a rant coming on.
Better say it quick.
“He doesn’t love her.” I stated.
Okay, good. That stopped it before it started.
“What?” She asked, her tone condescending.
“He doesn’t have feelings for Lily, Rose. I can tell.” I stated blatantly. Maybe a bit to blatantly.
Rose scoffed, which resulted in her giving this strange strangled snorting noise as her face reddened even more, making her look reminiscent to a tomato with a frizzy wig. “I can’t rely on you Els. You’re not the most observant person to be honest.”
“Well, this was as plain as day. Trust me. He has no romantic feelings for her. He was just confused.” I continued.
Wow...since when did I become fucking Dr. Phil? Honestly, if the world were normal...I wouldn’t have noticed shit. I’m surprising myself everyday....yay.
“Even if that were true, it wouldn’t change anything.” Rose spat. Honest to God, she looked like some sort of hairy monster. This is what happens when the girl forgets to tame her hair at least a little bit, or put it up in a ponytail.
I just shook my head. I’m done with talking about it. That was her problem anyways. I just wanted to take a long long nap...or, you know....go see James in the hospital wing.
But that was out of the question. I cannot believe that I’m actually scared of his girlfriend.
Once we reached the marble staircase, Rose mumbled something about Transfiguration homework and the library before she ran off. Of course she would.
I have to admit that I was kind of relieved to be alone. I wanted nothing more than to just curl up in my bed and keep the snooze button on for a little while. Sleeping is one of the greatest inventions of mother nature...oh and eating of course.
I trudged up the marble stairs, careful not to trip and fall flat on my face...or step on any trick steps. I’m famous for that you know.
“Alas, my fair lady! You dare to trespass upon the land of Sir Cadagon? Even your natural beauty cannot clear your name of this injustice-”
“Shut the fuck up.” I growled at the stupid painted knight. Seriously, why does Hogwarts have such pointless pieces of art? All they ever do is wink, complain, groan, and verbally assault the students. Why can’t they replace all of the paintings with...I don’t know...huge built in wall vending machines with licorice wands? It would be favorable and beneficial to the student body!!
I ignored the continuing rants coming from the portraits and kept walking, making my way toward the Gryffindor common room. As I passed by the tapestry, I felt an arm grab me forcefully and drag me.
I started to thrash, a stream of curse words escaping my mouth.
“Merlin Elaquay! Shut the fuck up! I don’t appreciate my reputation to be morphed into that of a rapist’s.”
At the sound of Albus’s voice I immediately calmed down, but my heart was still beating at my ears.
I glared at him. “You know, it’s not that hard to come up to me in a civil matter and ask if we could talk. Jesus!”
He ignored this comment and proceeded to talk, his voice quiet and bashful. “I’m sorry, Els.”
“Huh?” I asked dumbly.
“I’m sorry....y’know...for shunning you and all. I mean, you did knock out my brother...but there was probably a reason why you two are so pissed at each other and I didn’t even bother to ask why...” As he said this, he ran his hand through his messy black hair....a movement that made my stomach ache with how familiar it was.
The gesture also made my defense mechanism fail immensely. One of my main weaknesses is that I forgive way to easily. Yes, I can give people hell...but when they apologize...I have a problem with forgiving them right away, or wanting to forgive them. I can’t hold a grudge for shit.
I just shook my head and gave a sigh. “It’s fine. It doesn’t matter now. I just want to be his friend again in all honesty.”
He gave me a small smile and then in about a split second, whipped out a huge hunk of chocolate from the inside pocket of his robes. I watched as he broke it in half and then handed a piece to me.
Okay, I’m usually not to keen about eating anything that has been hiding in a teenage boy’s robe....but at the moment, I didn’t care. I took it from him with a small nod of thanks before biting into the chocolatey awesomeness.
It seemed to wake me up. A warmth settled through me and it seemed to chase all of my depression away. I found myself grinning like a madwoman as I started to chomp down on it like a deprived child.
Albus slumped down against the wall, and then patted the spot next to him...his mouth full of chocolate as well.
I slumped next to him, and we both sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, just eating our chocolate and enjoying the rich and creamy taste that it has. I knew that an understanding passed between Al and I. He was the only other person who could completely understand me almost as well as James...and that’s saying something because no one...not even Rose (who knows me almost inside and out) knows me better than him.
I knew that I didn’t have to tell Albus what happened because I bet you anything he already has a hunch just from looking at me. He’s almost like a fraternal twin brother sometimes. We seriously have this twin telepathy going on.
So we just sat, enjoying each other’s presence in silence. Just eating chocolate behind a tapestry on a Saturday afternoon.
It was probably the most fun I’ve had in a while.
“Elaquay?” He asked softly after a little while.
I turned to look at him, and saw that his green eyes were intently on me. I swallowed the chocolate in my mouth and answered (none to gracefully may I add), “Yeah?”
“Do you fancy James?”
His tone...oh shit. He knew. I should’ve known that he’d figure it out. Albus Potter may not be the most perceptive of people, but he could read me like a book. Something that not even James could do, even though he knew me better than anyone. It’s really hard to explain to be honest...
I was prepared to contradict this with a nonchalant snort of laughter or some snarky remark, but all I could do was gawk at him...mouth hanging open, my tongue coated in chocolate. Yes, I’m a sexy beast.
That was answer enough for him. The corner of his lips twitched up into a smirk/smile. It sent another pang at my chest as I realized how much he looked like his brother when he did that.
He finally gave a snort of laughter. I felt my cheeks burn with anger and humiliation. What can be worse than having James’s own brother know that I have this...um...little infatuation with him? This can’t be good.
“Oh Merlin...we’d be in-laws. Actually, that would be quite convenient...seeing that I need another sister who isn’t a slag...”
Whoah whoah whoah. Did he just call his sister a slag? He called her the British equivalent of slut!!! Wow, what a caring brother.
Then there’s the other thing....in-laws? What the fuck. It’s not like James freaking proposed to me or anything. The thought made my cheeks burn and my heart leap.
“Now hold your horses, Potter. Let’s not forget the current circumstances. James has a girlfriend...and he obviously likes her... a lot.” I spat the last word as if it were venom on my lips. The thought of Elisha made me literally want to vomit and then rip off the heads of those damn beanie babies. Seriously... who has the patience to collect those little bitches?
Albus waved me off, the smile still plastered on his face. “They won’t last. Not with you around anyways.”
My insides started to flutter with butterflies at his words. They sent a strange sense of hope through me. “What do you mean?”
Albus sighed and shook his head, looking at me as if I were the stupidest person on the world. “Look Els...I’m a bloke and we’re not supposed to be extremely perceptive of things, but when it comes to my relatives, I watch them like a hawk...and yes...be honored, I consider you my relative. Anyway, as I was saying, James and Elisha won’t last. The girl is way to...to...I don’t know...collected for him. Yes, she is a bloody exotic goddess but once he gets past that, well....it will fall apart. Now, as for you....there is no way in Merlin’s chest hair that he can stay with her while you’re around.”
“Why?” I asked, growing more and more interested with every single word that was coming out of Albus’s mouth.
“Because you’re everything he looks for in a girl. You’re the absolute perfect match for him and when he realizes that...well... then...it’ll become interesting. I know that he fancies you Els...but he’s a bit blind and in denial to admit that he is falling for someone that he’s thought of as a sister for the past six years. So...really....”
He trailed off, a smug smile on his lips. My insides were numb with fluttering and I felt the heat crawl all over my skin .
Not only that, but I never knew that Albus was so observant. I didn’t know that he found any interest in anything other than Quidditch and humiliating people. Well...we are at school. I guess I learn something new everyday.
And what he said...could it be true? I sure as hell wanted it to be.
“Um...Is he mad at me?” I asked quietly, afraid to know the answer.
There was silence for a few seconds before he responded, “No. I don’t think he can ever really be mad at you, even if he tried.”
The words weren’t reassuring.
“Look Els, just live your life alright? Continue dating Derrick, make up with James, and just let him have some fun with his girlfriend. When something happens...it will happen. Just...I don’t know...let it go for now.”
I looked over at him and saw that he had a small smile on his lips while his green eyes gleamed with a strange liquid mixture of understanding, mischief, and brotherly affection. It couldn’t help but grin back and then throw my arms around him.
“What would I do without you?” I asked, my voice muffling in his shirt.
“Go shag a hippogriff.” He remarked.
“Why the hell does everyone keep saying that?” I asked.
After a few more moments, we both left the tapestry. I was in better spirits for the rest of the day and I even laughed a few times during dinner! It shocked Rose to hell and back, but it seemed to lighten her somber mood as well.
Yet, by bed time....I found that, despite my over indulgence on shepard’s pie and treacle tart, I couldn’t get sleepy. I kept tossing and turning, thinking of what Albus said.
Did James actually like me?
What if I got married to him...hmmm....Mrs. Elaquay Potter. It had a nice ring to it....
Okay, I’m getting way over my head.
After a few more minutes of just tossing around, I groaned and tossed the covers off of me. I had to go somewhere...to walk around or something...anywhere that’s not in the dorm right now.
I quietly tip toed past Rose’s bed, where I could hear her snoring very ungracefully (yes, the poor girl does often have a snoring problem...and on the rare occasions where she is totally smashed out of her mind, it’s like a freaking train is about to come and crash through the window...and at the burrow, it’s even worse.)
Anyway, where did I want to go?
My body answered the question before I could even let my mind wrap around it. I quietly opened the door to the girl’s dormitory and found myself in the common room. The dying embers of the fire feebly crackled, while the deep moonlight penetrated through the windows and onto the squashy armchairs.
I quietly walked down the stairs, but instead of heading toward the portrait hole, I went directly to the fireplace. I looked behind me to make sure that no one was watching before I said in a silent whisper, “Chudley Cannons.”
Immediately, the fire went out, the dying embers turning into nothing but black ash. Then, with a grating sound that I feared would wake the whole damn castle, the back of the fireplace started to lift from the ground, revealing a dark corridor. Once it stopped, I looked behind me to make sure that no one was awaken by the sound. Thankfully, everyone seemed to be in a food coma, so the sound went unnoticed.
I stepped through the fireplace and into the corridor. Once the fireplace closed up behind me, I was consumed by nothing but silent darkness.
“Lumos.” I muttered, pointing my wand forward, watching it illuminate the path before me. About six feet away, was the portrait of the bowl of fruit that led to the kitchens.
James, Hugo, Al, and I had found this shortcut about two years ago. Who knew that the Gryffindor common room fireplace was a shortcut to the kitchens. I’ll tell you that it’s freaking convenient.
I walked to the portrait and tickled the pear. Once it swung open, I stepped into the familiar place that was the Hogwarts kitchen. Even at night there were house elves scurrying around the huge place, clattering pots and pans and all that crap.
“Miss Elaquay, how honorable it is to see you.” Said a house elf with large green eyes and knobbly knees. His name was Wonky, and I loved him to death. He gave me a huge bow. I smiled back at him.
“Does Miss Elaquay desire something? Wonky will be ever so pleased to be at Miss Elaquay’s service.” He said, looking up at me with admiring saucer like eyes.
If Rose or her mom were here, they would be yelling at me....telling me that I was abusing the service of house elves, that I was encouraging their enslavement. It’s a bunch of bullshit. They seem damn happy with their jobs.
“Um...yeah. Wonky, do you have any lemon treacle tart left?” I asked.
“Of course, Miss Elaquay. Whatever she desires.” With another bow, he scampered off a bit to enthusiastically.
I gave a sigh and trudged to the opposite end of the kitchen, slouching against the wall...listening to nothing but the sound of the house elves and their scampering. The tall ceilings of the kitchen leered down at me and I just realized how small I really was. I was just another speck of dust in this castle. It was a bit unnerving to be honest.
“Hey sex hair.”
My body froze. My heart started to thunder against my chest and pound in my ears. My mouth felt dry as my stomach did somersaults and chills went down my spine.
His voice...his voice...oh shit. He’s here.
I dared myself to turn just in time to see James Sirius Potter slumping down next to me. His hair was all tousled and rugged as ever, his beautiful face was smooth and clean...but sporting a fading dark spot near his forehead with a few cuts, (It actually made him look sexier), his eyes were a glimmering brown as they stared ahead determinedly...and he....shit.
He was shirtless.
I couldn’t help but gape at him. I closed my mouth just in time to prevent the drool from starting to pool.
Fucking damn....stupid abs and muscles and toning...and shit!!!
I tore my gaze away, and attempted to clear my head...but the heat was getting to me. It traveled all through my body and coursed through my veins.
And I had to speak to him.
“How’d you know where I was?” I asked flatly.
He pulled a piece of parchment from his trouser pocket and held it up wordlessly.
Of course. The Marauders’ Map. Useful thing it is. I think it saved our lives about forty billion times.
I remember when James managed to knick it from his dad. That was an accomplishment for a third year I must say...especially since Harry is very protective of that map and has security enchantments on it that involved excessive toe nail growth and biting warts.
“I thought you were in the hospital wing.” I continued, feeling my whole body tingle with tension. I just can’t believe he’s here...mere inches away from me. I could feel the heat radiate off of his bare skin and it seemed to taunt me.
“Well, I’m not right now obviously.” He remarked.
I sighed. I could tell that he was still a bit cold with me.
Just before it could get more uncomfortable, Wonky came scampering back with a huge plate of delicious looking treacle tart. He handed me the plate with a bow. “Your treacle tart Miss. Oh! James Potter!” His eyes were literally glowing with reverence as he bowed.
“What can Wonky get James?” Wonky asked.
James shot Wonky a fond smile and responded, “Just some butterbeer would be find, thanks.”
Wonky gave another bow and scampered off, coming back seconds later with a huge bottle of butterbeer before running off again.
So we were technically alone, James and I. I still couldn’t look at him straight in the face. I wanted to apologize, to smack him, to kiss him...ugh. This is so pathetic on so many leves.
I took a deep breath and spoke, my voice cracking a bit, “James...”
But he cut me off. “I always knew that you could hit hard Els, but damn...you managed to knock me out for a good two days. I’m impressed.”
His tone had a mixture of bitterness and admiration. My senses seemed to be on overdrive as I turned to actually look at him.
His face was hard to read. He looked like he was trying to fight back an amused smile...and his eyes...fuck...they were smoldering. Smoldering!!!!
Okay, stop Elaquay. Having an orgasm right now would just make everything awkard.
I bit my lip and spoke again, my voice hardly audible. “I’m sorry.”
Silence. Just silence. I looked at my hands, trying not to capitulate to the need of grabbing James’s face and just kissing the hell out of him.
Then, he spoke again. His voice sending huge bouts of chills down my spine.
“I can’t say that I didn’t deserve it.”
Did he just say that? Did he seriously just say that? Dear sweet baby Jesus!!!
I dared to look at him again. He looked full of regret and exhaustion, but he continued to speak. “I was being a prat Els. I had no right to yell at you like that and accuse you of changing when I’m the one who basically pushed you away. I can understand why you wouldn’t want to visit me in the hospital wing...let alone ever see me again...or talk to me...well...”
His cheeks turned pink. He looked so adorable. I think my insides just combusted.
“...I-I’m so fucking sorry, Elaquay. I really like Elisha a lot, but when you weren’t in the picture, it just wasn’t the same...oh dear Merlin...I sound like I’m on one of those muggle soap operas right now.” He said, with a tentative smile as he ran his fingers through his messy hair.
“James.” I said simply.
He stayed silent.
“I owe you an apology as well. I’m sorry for lashing out at your girlfriend. I don’t know why I did it and I will try to get along with her alright? I’m also sorry for knocking you out with a bludger. That was very uncivil of me.” I stated, my voice trembling a bit with a mixture of emotions.
“Oh...and you’re forgiven.” I added, smiling at him, my insides floating with happiness.
His face broke into his classic crooked smile. “You as well, Els.”
Then, without meaning to...I burst in to tears.
Oh shit...I burst in to tears. TEARS!!!
I can’t believe that I’m blubbering like an idiot in front of James just because he’s forgiven me. I’m such a lunatic. Jesus. But I couldn’t stop.
I just kept crying and crying, and I continued to cry into James’s shoulder as he wrapped his arms around me and rested his chin on my head. His scent overwhelmed my senses and enveloped my whole body. It smelt so intoxicatingly wonderful.
It was real. He was here. And I knew that it was all okay.
I had my friend back. At least for now.
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