Walking Hogwart's ground usually calmed me, but not tonight. Having him so close, holding my hand – I did not know how to feel. Happy? Guilty?
Looking down at our hands, at our fingers, which were laced together, I felt a sharp object stab my heart. Over and over. I did not know how I was still alive, as my heart had been bleeding for quite some time.
Draco was nice and caring, and he could provide for me after school.
Yet I had committed the worst of crimes I ever could have – I had cheated.
Why I still don't know, and I am not even sure if I regret it. I wasn't quite sure what to think.
Looking out over the fields, I watched the grass blow faintly in the wind, the trees swaying slightly.
With my free hand I brushed the skin on my occupied arm, feeling the goose bumps as if they were thorns. My guilt had started playing tricks on me.
Moving my hand, I brushed the skin on Draco's forearm as well. He was warm and my hand must've felt like ice compared to the heat radiating from him. He smiled down at me and I returned the favour, hoping it didn't look too false.
Nothing ever goes according to plan in my life. It never has. This being the perfect example.
Draco was kind to me, caring and loving even – and in return I had cheated on him – with a Gryffindor.
I never imagined I'd end up this way. I never thought I'd become a cheater.
What kind of person does that?
And how was I going to tell him?
Hey, Draco, I love you and everything but I cheated on you – several times. Because I'm not in love with you.
So, what flowers do you want for the wedding?
Yeah, I can already see his face.
Should I even tell him at all? All right, stupid question. I know I should tell him I just don't know how.
“Look.” His voice was soft like velvet as he lifted his hand, the one that held mine, to the sky. “I don't think I've seen the stars so bright all week.”
He looked at me, and flashed me a boyish grin. I felt the corners of my mouth lift up and I knew that for the first time that day I was giving him a real smile.
“Let's sit down,” I heard myself say, though it felt as though someone else had spoken. Draco nodded, bringing me along towards a tree that stood only a few feet away from us. He sat down, his back leant against the tree itself, before pulling me onto his lap. His muscular arms came around me in a protective embrace and sitting there I felt guilty and mad at myself at the same time as I felt happy and loved.
Due to all these mixed up feelings I couldn't help but feel a string wrap around my heart, strangling it.
“You smell good,” he commented and I turned to look at him, a frown clear on my face. He'd complimented me. Oh, he was doing this so much worse.
“I smell good?” I asked, my voice just above a whisper.
“Let me guess; you just showered,” he snickered, and I nodded, a smile appearing on my face again. “Yes, I did. This morning.”
“You smell of peach.”
His comment had me giggling. I said, “That's because my shampoo and conditioner smells of peach, Draco.” I shook my head, my smile broadening.
“And,” he spoke as he placed two fingers under my chin, “your body soap.” How he knew that my body soap smelled of peach I had no idea, but I decided not to dwell on it.
Slowly he brought my face down to his, but just before his lips had a chance of crashing on mine, I pulled away.
He shot me a questioning glare and stood up before I gave him a teasing smile, sitting down again – this time straddling him. His eyes grew a little in realisation before he once again brought my face down to his own, and this time, ignoring everything else, I kissed him with all the passion I had in me.
A/N: Do review and let me in on yoru thoughts! xx