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Big Girls Don't Cry by PurpleDusk
Chapter 14 : Happy Birthday, James
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 1

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Disclaimer: I do not own anything you recognise! I’m not J.K Rowling –even though I wish I were! I only own Scarlett Turner, Haylie Myers, Violet Turner, Ely Jane, Professor Hale, Professor Carn –a whole bunch of other OC’s- and the plot.


Chapter Fourteen: Happy Birthday, James


Tuesday, March 27th 1978


It was weird- the professors actually letting us have a Hogsmeade trip on a school day, not that anyone was complaining, especially me and my fellow seventh years that were in official stress mode due to the N.E.W.T’s. There were only a month and a bit away now. Today was our break from studying, and as a bonus, it was James’ birthday.

Haylie and I were linked arm in arm, skipping down the main street of Hogsmeade whilst singing ‘we’re off to see the wizard; the wonderful wizard of Oz’  (kind of ironic, don’t you think?) which we’d seen in a Muggle film, called the ‘Wizard of Oz’ at the top of our lungs with James, Lily and Remus close behind. 

“I think they’ve finally lost it,” I heard James mutter to Lily and Remus, and as if we’d rehearsed it, Haylie and I both stopped singing and skipping, turned around and scowled at Prongs.

“We are not mad, James,” Haylie scrutinized,
“Yeah, Prongs. We’re just ...unique.” I giggled, turned my back on them and skipped by myself into the Three Broomsticks.

“Hey Scar!” Ozzie called from the other side of the bar,
“Oz!” I squeaked with delight, running over to the bar, leaning over the wooden table top and wrapping my arms around Ozzie’s neck. He’d had a hair cut from the last time I’d seen him. Instead of his red hair being flopping and hanging over his eyes, it had been shaved off and it was now growing back, it looked like little red prickles sticking out of his head.

“I love your hair,” I complimented,
“Thank you Scar,” He said in his thick Scottish accent, “Maggie suggested I should cut it all off.”
“Oooh, who’s Maggie, Oz?” I cooed, fluttering my eyelashes a little to tease him.
“My fiancé,” He said, a grin spreading across his face, “Well, maybe. I haven’t proposed yet. I’m still trying to figure out the perfect place.”
“Ozzie, as long as you have the girl of your dreams where you propose doesn’t matter, because just being around her should be the perfect place.” I told him and for a moment I was surprised with myself –did I really just say that? Did I just sound like Dumbledore?

Ozzie laughed, whipping the last bit of spilled Butterbeer off the bench and throwing the towel over his shoulder.
“Oh, Scar, you’re so wise. Easy on the eyes too,” he complimented, “When are you going to find the guy, hm?”

Suddenly, my mood plummeted. One second I was happy and giddy and ready to shake anything off, but now I was confused and sad –I didn’t know what to do.

I stammered over my words, “I, er, I d-don’t know, Oz. I guess he just hasn’t appeared yet. But I know someone is out there for me, and one day he’ll find me. I just don’t know when – which is exciting.”
He smirked, “You know, I thought that you and that Sirius bloke would end up together, but then I saw him with some blonde girl earlier today –they looked real close, real serious too.” And there was the stab in the heart that I really didn’t need. I felt the prickling sensation of tears threatening to spill over, my throat tightened up as if someone had snuck up behind me and wrapped a rope around my neck and pulled and pulled and pulled.

I felt like I couldn’t breathe, like everything I loved had been taken away from me.

I didn’t even realise I was truly crying until Oz whispered; “Oh, darls...”
“It’s okay. I’m fine,” my voice broke on ‘fine’ and more tears began to flow. Ozzie came out from behind the counter and wrapped his arms around me. He smelled like fire whiskey and Butterbeer –almost like Sirius when he was drunk, only Sirius smelled sweeter and more like home.

“I’m fine, Ozzie. Really. It’s nothing; I’ll get over it,” I said in one rushed voice, “It’s just a stupid crush.”
“A stupid crush? Ai, stupid crushes are where the best love stories start!” He exclaimed.
I sniffled, twitching my nose to the side, “I thought the best love stories were tragedies.”

“Only the muggle ones.” He said with a smile, poking my noise and looking off to the door, “You better catch up to your friends, they’re ordering.” He pushed me off in the direction of the Marauders and surely enough, a young strawberry blonde waitress was standing in front of their table –which was hidden away in the back corner-, scribbling down on a note pad whilst James and Sirius –who had most likely caught up with them outside- were ordering massive amounts of food. 

James and Remus were the first to spot me.

“Scar!” They called in unison, “we’ve been waiting for you!”
“I can see that,” I called back and made my way over to them and sat in the only available seat in between Sirius and Remus.

“Happy birthday James –and Remus, again.” I hugged Remus and then reached over the table to hug James.

“We ordered for you, hope you don’t mind.” James smiled, he was wearing his Chudley Cannons cap that Haylie had gotten him for his birthday and his blue sweater that Lily had made him underneath a black jacket –we’d all given him presents this morning. I’d gotten him three tickets to the next Chudley Cannons match.
“Bowl of fries and Butterbeer.” Sirius chimed in, smirking like a know-it-all. Haylie rolled her eyes and leaned in Remus some more, so she was almost sitting on his lap, her head resting on his shoulder comfortably. Remus’ lips curved up into a small smile that made even my heart melt with cuteness. Now that I’d noticed Remus and Haylie, Lily and James seemed like a married couple already –Lily was fixing James’ unfixable hair and dusting off his jacket and James was smiling and rolling his eyes but there was a gleam to his eyes that told me that he loved the feeling of Lily taking care of him and he loved taking care of her.

Ellen and Peter we almost the same, Ellen was actually sitting on Peter’s lap and I could see that Peter was whispering sweet  -and probably dirty- things into her ear as she smiled and giggled and he played with her hair, arranging Ellen’s long blonde locks into a messy and rather pathetic braid down her back. Her brown eyes shone with happiness.

But, Sirius and Katie were a different story, they weren’t emotional or completely in love, it was more physical. They never stopped touching each other, at the moment, Katie and Sirius were holding hands and Katie was kissing his neck like she really wanted something from him –and it didn’t take a genius to figure out what she wanted. As I was thinking this, I watched as Sirius’ hand slipped out of Katie’s and grabbed hold of her upper thigh, sneaking underneath her extremely short floral summer dress and I decided to stop pay attention to them right there. Basically, I gathered that Sirius and Katie’s relationship was based around sex –and by the way Sirius talked about her, and I was pretty sure he’d said he loved her to the Marauders and me once or twice, I gathered that that was fantastic sex they were having.


Oddly enough, at the time our food arrived other people started arriving too –mostly Hogwarts students and a few older witches and wizards from around Hogsmeade looking for lunch. Haylie had caught sight of someone she knew and called them over.

“Lee!” She called, “Over here!”

So, Lee started to make his way through the rather thick crowd of people now in the Three Broomsticks, but soon I noticed that he was holding the hand of another Hogwarts student; a girl with the face of an angel, long, curly blonde hair that didn’t seem to be able to be tamed –sort of like James’- framed the angel face and her eyes were a stunningly bright azure blue. The blonde was wearing dark blue jeans, black boots and a long sleeve grey top, wrapped around her neck was a burgundy and gold scarf which was only given out to Gryffindor house members. It wasn’t surprising that I didn’t know who this girl was –even though she was in my house. I didn’t know who many people were from fifth year and below.

Now that I think about it, I should probably get to know the people in my house before I leave at the end of the year. They must think I’m so anti-social!

“Hey Lee,” I greeted him, “who’s your friend?”
“Hi guys. This is Coralie –she’s, er, she’s my girlfriend.” Lee introduced her, his face flushed when he did but Coralie’s face brightened up at being called his girlfriend.
“Call me Cora.” She chimed in.

“’Sup Cora?” James said –he also paired it with this little head nod thingy that looked absolutely ridiculous.
“Nothing much.” She said, smiling. Coralie and Lee took a seat next to Haylie and Remus. The two boys nodded a ‘hello’ to each other while Haylie and Cora chatted for a bit.
“So, Lee,” Sirius interrupted, “you snogged her yet?”He asked, wagging his eye brows.

I groaned, “seriously, Sirius? Leave ‘em alone, they’re only, like, fourteen! Plus, it’s a perv-ish in the way you keep asking people that.”
“It’s not perv-ish! And it’s a decent question –you just don’t get it. You will when you finally get a boyfriend.” Sirius snapped that last part and I’m not going to lie, it hurt –a lot. And it really didn’t help with the fact that Katie laughed at the comment.

“Ouch, Pads. That was uncalled for.” Remus backed me up.
“Yeah, Padfoot, it’s not like she really did anything to you. What is up with you, you’ve been such an asshole lately. You used to be cool.” James sighed and Sirius opened his mouth to snap something back at his friends.
“Be careful what you say next, Black. If the next remark is a snide one, I may have to kick you from here to Durmstrang.” Haylie growled. It looked like Sirius was rethinking his words carefully, but a moment or two later, he started talking and the statements were way worse than ‘snide’.
“Why are you all ganging up on me?!” Sirius exclaimed, “She’s been acting weird too, you know. She even looks weird than normal!”

Each comment stung even more than the last. Where was all this coming from? Why was Sirius lashing out at me? What did I do? Just a few minutes ago he’d been the sweet and cocky Sirius I’d grown up with, but now he was acting –dare I say it-, he was acting like Severus Snape.
Sirius knew I was extremely self conscious about my looks, in fact, he was the only person that knew I actually really hated being a metamorphmagus, but I had the feeling the others knew as well. The way he was just slamming insults at me was not like him, and it was making me feel like he was choosing a side.

In my head, ever since the concert, I’d been keeping an eye on Sirius –watching how he acted and what he did- to see whether he liked me better or Katie. And at that moment, when he slammed the insult in my face, I knew he’d just unknowingly chosen Katie’s side.

And I decided to lash back. Haylie and James both looked like they were about to rip Sirius’ head off, but I stopped them.

“Look. You know what Sirius, you can insult me all you want and I know you’ve just taken Katie’s side in this and to be honest, I really don’t care-” I really, really, really care. It’s breaking my heart just saying this, I swallowed back tears, “-because that comment about my looks, that’s not what you said the night of Tarantallegra.” I snapped and took a massive gulp of my previously untouched Butterbeer. And I must remember to thank Ozzie, he’d obviously seen the awkwardness I’d been feeling and had put a shot of a muggle alcohol called vodka in my drink –vodka didn’t really have a taste, but I knew that he’d slipped it in the drink as soon as I felt the burning in my throat.

I hadn’t noticed, but it had become eerily quiet at the table and everyone was just staring at each other blankly, probably trying to figure out what my words meant. Haylie, being my best friend, knew straight away –I could see the knowing in her eyes that resembled a bugs, they looked like they were about to jump out of their sockets. Remus was the second one to get it and Lily got it around the same time. No one else could figure it out though.

Katie was the first to break the silence.

“Sirius,” She said, using her annoying pouty face and whiney voice, “what does that mean?”
“N-nothing, Katie. Scarlett is just making up tales because she’s jealous.” He replied, pulling Katie closer to him, as if he were trying to protect her. His words crashed into me and I felt tears prickling and threatening to spill over, once again, my throat tightened up and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. Everything that was said after that felt like the voices were somewhere off in the distance, shouting at me.

“Oh, that’s not what I think.” Katie snapped, “you screwed her didn’t you?!”
“No! Katie, you know I’ve only got eyes for you!” Sirius exclaimed,
“Just save it, Sirius. I don’t wanna hear your bullshit! I can handle you staring at other girls’ boobs or asses but I can’t handle you screwing over your friend who you claimed you didn’t have feelings for!” She screeched and pushed Peter and Ellen aside, forcing her way out of the group and trying to make her way out of the Three Broomsticks as fast as possible, while still making it look like she was storming out.
But she got about five steps away from out table and then turned, came back and leaned over the table to stare me straight in the eyes –she was so close our noses were almost touching.

She spoke to Sirius, not me, when she opened her mouth.

“She’s not in pretty.” Was all she said and then fully stormed out.

I followed shortly after, but not being downing the rest of my Butterbeer and vodka combination.


I spent the rest of the afternoon hauled up in my dorm room with the canopy closed around my bed with a charmed sound barrier so I could hear when people came in and talked, but they couldn’t hear me. Mostly I was sobbing and crying, but at one stage I was screaming out to anything that would listen –forgetting I had the sound barrier.

Seventh year was definitely not going as planned. First the issues with my father and now this. It really sucked. 


At about ten o’clock at night, everyone around my was snoring and I was just about to go to sleep when I heard the faintest of knocking coming from the window next to my bed.

At first, I tried to ignore it –it was probably just some owl looking for its owner and it would go away and come back in the morning. But no, it wasn’t an owl. It kept knocking and knocking and knocking, at one point I heard scratching and a few click clacks which were probably stones being thrown at the glass and rebounding – it just would not go away. So, finally, after about half an hour of knocking –I was surprised no one had woken up because of the ruckus – I got up, pulled my curtains aside and there he was.

Sirius was crouching outside the window, balancing on the top of the bricks which were the roofing to the common room, it stretched from the window of the seventh year girl dorms and the seventh year boy dorms. It looked like Sirius had walked across the roof to get to me...or another one of the Gryffindor girls.

I sighed, I really didn’t want to see anyone at the moment, especially him. But I was staring right at him and he was mouthing ‘open the window’. It’s not like I could just walk away from the window, he was still my friend –even though he’d completely destroyed my self esteem.

Slowly and silently, making sure I wouldn’t wake the others up, I unlocked the hinges on the window and let Sirius crawl into the dorm room. He looked like he was about to say something, but before he did, I clamped my hand over his mouth and pulled him onto my bed and closed the canopy around it –reinforcing the sound barrier I’d made earlier today.

“Wha-?” He started,
“Sound barrier,” I told him abruptly, “So, what brings you hear in the middle of the night?”
“I wanted to apologise.” He told me honestly, not making eye contact which proved my thoughts –he was uncomfortable.

Sirius rarely ever apologised –well, for real anyway, most of the time he apologised to teachers but never meant it- and whenever he honestly did apologise, he got extremely fidgety and uncomfortable. For some reason, at that moment, I liked watching him squirm under pressure. It was sort of cute.

“You don’t need to; I was way out of line when I said those things. I know that that night was a mistake,” I choked back even more tears –where were they all coming from!? I’d never cried so much in my life! “For the both of us. It’s best if we both just forget it ever happened.” I was so lucky my voice didn’t break on any of those words.

Sirius nodded in agreement, “still, I started the argument and insulted you. I didn’t mean those things that I said, I don’t even know why I said them to be honest.”

We fell into a semi-awkward silence. Both of us pretending to pick at our nails or pretending to take a large amount of interest in the canopy of fabric that surrounded us.

Sirius broke the silence by clearing his throat.

“Scar, would you do me a favour?” He asked quietly, he sounded almost embarrassed.
“Er, sure, its the least I can do after today’s happenings.”

Padfoot bobbed his head up and down slowly, thoughtfully.

“Would you pretend to be my girlfriend? So I can get Katie jealous and maybe she’d take me back?” He said all in one gushed out breathe.

I’d pictured this situation a few times to be honest –I don’t know why, I just had. And in every single one of them, I’d said ‘no’ and he’d been okay with it. But all I could say at that moment was:



Okay, so that was chapter 14 and let me start off by saying O-M-G I AM SO SORRY FOR THIS CHAPTER TAKING SO LONG! I've been working on some original projects and I lost track of how long I hadn't update HPFF and I almost died when I realised it had been more than two months. I promise the chapters will start coming faster like they were previously!
I'd really like a comment on this, because I actually like the way this chapter is written.
Please review :)
One last thing before I go -Thank you to my beta Ely (Midnightblue_x). And speaking of beta, this chapter and chapter thirteen have not been edited yet, but they will be soon!

xx PurpleDusk

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