Chapter 1 : My Personal Betrayal
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Also, this story will be different on some ways from The Decison, but it will still have some similarities - like the fact that I'm using Leonie again.
Every chapter will be in 1st POV, but with a different peron each time.
Anyway - do let me know what you think!! xx
Looking over at her, I felt as though a cloak filled with guilt and sadness wrapped itself firmer around my body. I felt as though I was suffocating on all the emotions within me. I felt pain in every inch of my body due to the betrayal. I had betrayed her badly – and she did not even know. She had no idea of what I had done, nor what I was still doing. Not had I just betrayed, but I was betraying her.
Everyone thought we were this perfect couple. Happy, wealth, looks – you get the drill.
However, all this has been an act for such a long time – from my side at least.
In the beginning it had just been the two of us. We'd been in love and we'd been over the moon. We'd been so happy.
Then our families mingled in. Even though we were no more than 16 years of age, they started laying plan for our wedding.
“–you will marry after you graduate from Hogwarts–”
“–have you ever had a disease that can damage future children?–”
“–have you had sex yet?–”
“–can there be a chance you are already pregnant?–”
All of a sudden there were so much pressure on us. Suddenly we couldn't just be together – it wasn't enough. It wasn't just about being in love any longer.
It didn't take us very long to come to terms with the fact that our families had been planning this wedding for quite some time already. Probably as soon as they figured out one family were having a daughter and one a son.
It didn't take us very long to realise that even though if we hadn't fallen in love, we'd still marry. It'd been planned for sixteen years – it was going to be the biggest wedding anyone had seen for centuries.
We'd marry, even if we didn't have a single thread of romantic feelings for each other.
Everything had been so confusing after that. Maybe if Leonie and I had decided to marry on our own, things would have been different. Just maybe.
I wasn't sure if I was in love with her anymore. I knew loved her, but I wasn't just if I was in love with her.
I wish I could blame someone else, but honestly I cannot. There is no one to blame. My parents – her parents – never meant to break us up. They'd been happy we'd fallen in love because it made everything about the wedding so much better.
The only person I can blame is myself. I was confused and I felt lonely – so I'd done the worst thing I could ever have done. I'd gotten a mistress.
I was having an affair.
The affair was definitely a contributing factor to why everything had gone as it had – why I felt so unsure of my feelings, why I felt so confused. But I couldn't blame it on my mistress, nor could I blame my girlfriend or our parents. The only one that I could blame, was me. I was the reason I had lost my feelings – at least why I felt so confused about them.
Then again, what did it matter? I would stay with her nevertheless. Like I pointed out earlier – it had all been planned. For sixteen years.
Her voice interrupted my thoughts and I blinked a few times, pulling back into reality. I lifted my head and stared into her bright blue eyes. They held so much beauty, and they were a pleasure to look at. I smiled half-heartedly up at her. It hurt me to know what I knew. “Yeah, I'm all right,” I said with a slight nod to confirm my statement and she gave me one of her sweet smiles. Only months ago that smile would make me take her into my arms and kiss her, but now I just sat there. All I gave her was half a smile. I was pathetic.
“It's quite humid in here, don't you think?” she said and that's when I noticed my clothes sticking to the warm skin of my body. I nodded, breaking eye contact. She was wearing a simple white sweater that was snug to her perfectly shaped body and a pair of dark jeans and black Converse. I rubbed my hands together as if to warm them, but really I just did it so have something to focus on. Anything to not look into her eyes, knowing the pain it would cause her if she knew of my betrayal.
As I felt her eyes still linger on me, I looked up and shot her an emotionless smile, that probably looked more like a firm line than a smile you give your girlfriend.
“Want to accompany me on a walk on the grounds?” she asked, offering me her hand. I frowned at the same time *I felt a knot form itself in the pit of my stomach.
“It's half an hour until curfew,” I stated and she nodded. Clearly she already knew this. “Then we have thirty minutes.”
I couldn't help but give a soft laugh. She was always so positive, never focusing on the negative sides of things. If she only had half an hour, she had half an hour and she was going to spend it.
At least she was never negative with me.
Whenever we would go to class together or sit together in the Great Hall, she would be a flat-out bitch to anyone that was considered “trash”. She was a splendid actress, she really was.
“Sure,” I answered as I stood up and accepted her hand, lacing my fingers through hers.