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Chapter 1 : Fade Away
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scrumptious chapter image by Nouvelle @ TDA
Have you ever put something on a shelf, or in a cupboard, left to rot away while a layer of dust forms over it, neatly preserving its past life? I’m Dominique Malfoy, and I’m the one my family left in the cupboard with a layer of dust over my life before Scorpius, my husband, died.
I used to look at my wand and cherish it, like a friend or a lifeline. My husband died in a Muggle car accident, he didn’t disapparate in time and as he was sent to a Muggle hospital no one there could save him. Wands are supposed to be there to help you, so that you can avoid Muggle situations, so why do these things happen? Wands can be a burden, witches and wizards everywhere just take them for granted and when you really need them, no one knows how.
I came to the Muggle hospital; I held his hand as he slipped out of this world and passed away. I broke the news to his parents, to my family. I had to watch the tears fall, see the pain in their eyes. Astoria used to come, just to see how I was getting on. Eventually those visits ended, I just didn’t talk anymore and my silence made the pain grow. A few weeks after Scorpius died I became unnoticed and forgotten, I was just another memory. I felt sick constantly, lightheaded, like I didn’t belong anymore. However that was because I was pregnant, with Scorpius’ child. A part of him was living inside of me, but I couldn’t bear to be happy, I felt disgusted by my thoughts. I would have traded in my unborn child to have Scorpius back, any day. A single mother with no job, to me it seemed impossible although if Scorpius had been there, I would have been happy. I would have had tears of joy running down my cheeks not tears of disappointment and anger that stained my face. I could eventually learn to love the child but those tears would always be there, just another thing to haunt me.
I sat alone in an old creaking house, with far too many memories for me to leave, but they were some of the few I had left, and if I said goodbye to the house it would be like I wanted to forget Scorpius. I had no choice but to stay. Waking up was the hardest, it meant that another day was coming, another day I had to trek through just by doing nothing. Listening to a clock tick repeatedly became my pastime.....tick...tick...tick....
The sound was in my head all the time, reminding me I was still here and I still had to live. Did I though? Saying goodbye was always an option, always whispering in my ear, letting me know that it would never leave me. I could have stepped into the veil and greeted death, greeted Scorpius...
I used words to slowly guide me out, the dip of an old quill found in the loft behind some empty boxes. The ink that splattered across the pages that I scribbled across, it helped me. I channelled my emotions from my head to my quill and there they were, trapped inside a book. I wrote about my life, but I hid the fact that it was me I was truly writing about. I put in subtle notes and facts about myself but I hid behind a fictional character because the people I wrote about weren’t shown in a good light. I wrote my first book, 2 months before my child was born in hope that it would help me get through the first month of my child being born. I only had my old cot and nappies to make sure my child would survive, the rest of it would come later. My author name was a widowed Malfoy, though I was tempted to write D. Malfoy, just to confuse the readers. After a week, I began to get some money coming, for the first time I didn’t have to depend on my savings from Gringotts. It was on that day I got a knock on the door, well three. I couldn’t bear to face whoever was behind them; it would be the first person I’d have spoken to in weeks. Slowly I went to answer the door, but not before checking in the mirror. My pale, skeletal face made me look so tired and my eyes had nearly all the colour drained from them so they were only a murky blue and my hair a ratty old plait that I put up several days ago. I was only wearing an old pleated dress and a cardigan, what did I look like? Using the key that was on the side, I unlocked the door and slowly opened it. Before I knew it Victoire had her arms around me, and was holding me tight. She wasn’t aware of my pregnancy, no one was. When she realised there was a bump there she stepped back, confused.
“Dom! You’re...but how?” She managed to say, still staring at my stomach.
“I got pregnant two weeks before Scorpius....died.” I already felt a lump in my throat, I wondered if it was too late to close the door. But she was already inside and making her way into the living room.
“Dom, I read your book. It’s really good! Yet so depressing, and you’ve never left the house have you. Not even to go get something to eat. You must have stocked up!” Victoire rambled. I however only had one question,
“Why has it taken you until now to see me?” Victoire stared at the floor, avoiding my eyes.
“Astoria was seeing you and she thought it would be best if we left you alone for a bit, just to grieve.” Victoire explained, I sensed lies pouring from her mouth and I despised every word.
“So it takes 7 months for me to grieve on my own, I finish my first book and is that what it takes to remember I’m still here?” I whispered. I always hated shouting, especially when Dad shouted. When my Mother shouted I was used to it as we heard it daily but when it was Dad it meant that something was wrong.
“We all care about you Dom and you know we do, but you never came to see us and we didn’t see you. Then your book came out and it all came back. With you gone it’s like there’s something missing. Whenever I go home you know that mum always sets the table for one more, and that’s when Teddy’s there. Grandma Molly’s made you a scarf, now it’s just on an old kitchen chair because she’s scared she’ll never see you again. People need to know you’re still here Dom. In fact tomorrow you’re coming home. You’re going to leave this wretched old place and come home to shell cottage. If you want the Malfoy’s can come too, they have every right to know they’re going to be grandparents.”
“I...I can’t.” I whispered once more.
“So you’re just going to stay cooped up in here, let us forget you again Dom. You know that if we forget again, if we did, that's how you'd stay-as a memory. If you stayed there’s a chance that the baby would die. A part of Scorpius, dead, again. I miss my little sister, we all miss you.” My sister urged; she then gripped my hand tightly just like she did when we were younger and I got scared of anything that moved.
“But there’s a part of Scorpius in this house too, I can’t leave.” I sighed, wanting to cry. I had to choose between my family or my dead husband and all the memories we shared. Only I could share them now, but did I want to?
“Please Dom, just come with me now. I know we can’t apparate with you being pregnant but we’ll get a Muggle taxi. Louis will be dying to see you again; he’s all grown up now with a girlfriend believe it or not!!” I reluctantly agreed so I stepped into my old espadrilles and quickly locked the door before being dragged off by my big sister.
On the way to shell cottage, Victoire explained that almost all the family would be there and that they were having a barbeque. I always loved barbeques. Every day of summer before Scorpius died I would always beg for a barbeque, it was my favourite sort of food.
I stood outside my old home, bewildered by how little it had changed. All the red roses and tulips in the garden were in the same place, the curtains were the same and that distorted angel figure that Grandma Delacour had bought the family for Christmas was still by the door. Usually a lot would change within a month never mind eight months and it felt like I’d stepped back in time. We went through the pearly white front door without knocking, straight through the house, into the back garden where everyone was. All the younger children like Lucy, Fred and the Scamander twins were sat on the ground pulling out strands of the golden grass while everyone else were sat on plastic chairs, Mother didn’t like paying out too much.
As we came in they all fell silent, they were all concentrating on my bump. The first person I saw was my Mother, who had my book in her hand, tears in her eyes she dropped the book and ran to me. Through sobs she gave me hugs and kissed my forehead, like she used to when I got headaches. It made it all better then, years may have passed, but that was the best medicine.
“Dominique, you’ve come home! With a child. Scorpius would ‘ave wanted it this way.” She whispered softly. It was then I broke down, I collapsed into my Mothers hug, never wanting to let go. Tears cascading down my cheeks, I knew I had to face everyone else and answer all the questions.
After meeting almost every family member, including Louis and his girlfriend Ellie, I needed to sit down so Victoire grabbed an actual chair with a cushion and forced me to sit in it.
“You know, just because I’m pregnant doesn’t mean I’m more important. I’ll have one of those seats if you want.” I reassured them but they all shook their heads.
“Now dear, have you thought about baby names?” Grandma Molly asked me looking down at my stomach as if she already knew what gender was inside me.
“I haven’t really. If it’s a girl then Victoria Elizabeth and if it’s a boy....Remus Scorpius.” I confessed. Grandma Molly, Dad and Mother looked at each other in confusion.
“Why Remus if you never met ‘im? Bless his soul he was a great man but you didn’t know ‘im.” Mother told me.
“I know I didn’t but sometimes you’ve just got to trust that one name is the right one. I trust that it is, and to me Remus isn’t you average name, it’s different.” I explained softly. It was the best day I had in months. I left my old house and sold it, to live closer to home. Then when the time came, my babies were stronger than ever. No one predicted I’d have two babies, both Victoria and Remus. I was going to make sure my children would be strong, and stand out from the crowd. I wanted to make sure that unlike me, they would never fade away.
A/N- I don't really know why I wrote this, its not for a challenge and I haven't had this idea for a while either. I've never really gotten into this ship and I would just like to say I had a huge inspiration for this one shot, my heart's soliloquy by Thehyacinthgirl. Please read it, that one shot inspired me so much :)
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