He watches her sleep and wishes he too could be off in the same dream world she is in. She’s so far away now even though she’s closer to him than she’s ever been. He waits. He watches her sleep. He holds on to the last few moments he has. He shouldn’t be here. It’s wrong. It’s always wrong. It’s always been wrong.
And yet there’s nothing he can do to help himself.
Her eyes start moving irregularly behind their heavy lids and he wonders if she’s distressed. He reaches out and almost touches her cheek to soothe her but decides against it. He cannot. Not anymore.
But he cannot stop himself from being here.
This is wrong, so wrong. She belongs to another. Always, she has always belonged to another. She was never his. She never truly belonged to anyone but him, James. He’s an intruder in it; he steals her away from him for only a few glorious moments. James loves her. She loves James.
Yet he cannot stop loving her.
It’s dark and the room is hot but she continues to sleep. He wonders how long it will be until James returns and takes her away again, an inevitable ending. He will come soon and she will laugh and skip into his arms. She has always loved him.
He makes her happy and that’s all that matters.
Yet the man cannot seem to pull away. All he wants is another word from her, another touch, another kiss. That’s enough to carry him for eternity.
Is that too much to ask?
Her eyes flutter again and finally open. He is caught breathless by the startling bright of her eyes in the almost-black room. She blinks a few times as her eyes adjust to the darkness. “Sirius,” she says simply and her lips tug upwards in a smile. He leans closer so he can bask in her scent again. He reaches down to lay his hand on her porcelain cheek, and her smile grows wider.
He wishes he could be in the presence of her smile forever.
“I have to go,” he says, but it’s evident he has no intention of leaving. She looks at him knowingly. There’s no need for words. There’s never been a need for petty conversation with them. Why should there be if a simple look could bond their hearts forever?
But still there is a small part of himself that wishes he had never fallen for her.
He feels guilt and desire entangle with each other as he leans closer yet towards her. He cannot hold back his unquenched desire for her. She leans up slightly and their lips meet. It’s not passionate or crazed as their kisses once were. Rather, it’s the kiss of two individuals who know of their mistakes and continue regardless.
They cannot help it.
Her lips meld into his. They speak in ways she has never been able to with her husband. He pulls away and cups his hand under her chin gently, always gentle though she was not fragile. He could not stand the sight of her being broken in the least.
That’s why he let him have her.
Because she loved the other man more, her husband. And the other man was her happiness. And that was all that mattered. James was his best friend and he could have her. Because they deserved each other.
He made her happy and that was all that mattered.
A/N: Please leave me a little comment with your thoughts! Thank you for reading!