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Three's a Crowd by Bellatrix_Lestrange369
Chapter 3 : Wooing and Swooning
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 5

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Well that wasn’t so bad I guess. A few cringey moments with my dad asking both James and Sirius questions but that was about it. As they were leaving my dad tried to tell me to remember to phone them at some point.

“Dad” I said “this is a wizarding house. I doubt whether they even know what a phone is” He looked shocked at this.

“Are you serious?” he asked and I groaned knowing what was coming next.

 “No I’m Sirius” said a voice behind me and Petunia let out a giggle. I turned around to see Sirius flash her a smile. He shouldn’t have done that, she’s a blusher Petunia is. “Cheap joke Sirius” I said glaring at him “ but I promise I’ll write ok?”

“Hmph! Ok then. I’ll see you soon sweetie” said my dad pulling me into a hug. My mum fussed about whether I had everything and then she, too, gave me a hug. Over her shoulder I could see that my dad had gone back to the car (he’s a sociable one my dad) and Petunia was hovering awkwardly in the doorway. My mum pulled away and followed my dad out to the car. “Bye then Lily” said Petunia. I don’t think I was going to get a hug from her. “Bye Sirius” she said that with a smile and a hair flick. Oh dear mother of merlin. Sirius shot her a grin (I’m going to have to warn him about that) but luckily it was dark so her blush was hidden.

As soon as the car was gone James grabbed my hand with one hand (it begins) and one of the handles of my trunk with the other (Sirius got the other end) and started dragging me up the stairs. He was talking animatedly the whole time. I did notice how strong he must be if he managed to pull me and half of my trunk up the stairs whilst talking so fast. It must be all that Quidditch.
Stop it Lily! Don’t think thoughts like that!

“I’m so glad you’re here finally. Today seemed like the longest day ever waiting for you to get here! Then by the time your… what was it? pulled up I was really nervous because of what you said about your dad asking questions but then it all went well. I never thought you’d come you know. I thought that you might have made up with Snivellus but then when you said yes! I promise I won’t ask you to Hogsmeade not even once! And…” he carried on like this all the way upstairs and into a room which I’m guessing was mine. Sirius just gave me a knowing look and left it to me to shut him up. “James.” I said, he didn’t stop. “James!” I said it louder but I think it was the fact that I had grabbed him by the shoulders that made him shut up. “Yes Evans?” He said innocently but leaning closer to me all the same. “Will you just shut up for a minute!” I wasn’t shouting in an angry way, more of a desperate way. Our faces were about an inch apart now. I still hadn’t let go of his shoulders. Did I want to? Yes of course I did why am I even wondering about this? He was about as closer as he could get without actually bumping into my nose. “You going to give me a kiss then Evans?” he waggled his eyebrows. Oh for Merlin’s sake what is wrong with this boy? “No! And I thought you were meant to be trying not to hit on me?” I shrieked finally letting go of his shoulders.

“I didn’t say anything about woo-ing.” He said.

“This is your idea of woo-ing? Waggly eyebrows?” I asked taking a step back. “No,” he replied, “this is woo-ing” and smiled at me.

I burst out laughing. “That was a pathetic woo, I feel thoroughly un-wooed.”
“Are you offending my woo-ing skills young Lily?” he asked with mock offense.

“I am indeed young James, now if you leave I’d like a moment to myself as I doubt I’ll get many of them with you around.” I told him

“Oh well, I guess I’ll have to practice woo-ing Sirius. He’ll be delighted.” He said making his way to the door, I followed him so that I could shut the door behind him but was not actually looking at him. Just as he got to the door he turned round. “Oh and Evans?” I turned to look at him. He quickly bent forwards and kissed me. “Knew I’d get that kiss.” Then with a cheeky grin he ran from the room.



“JAMES POTTER I’M GOING TO KILL YOU!!!!!” I screamed running after him. I saw him sprint down the landing and into another room. He promptly shut the door behind it.
I ran up to the door and started banging on the door screaming at James to stop being a coward and come out here and face me. Suddenly the door opened and my fist was hitting Sirius in the shoulder. At least he was so tall that I didn’t hit him in the face. Petunia would not have thanked me.

“Sorry Sirius, I just wanted to see James,” my voice was shaking with anger.

“I gathered that. Well he’s in here but I’m not sure whether I should let you in because technically murder is illegal. So, what did he do exactly?” He said in an annoyingly casual tone. “He kissed me and if you don’t let me in to kill him then I should warn you that he will attempt to woo you and he’s not very good.” I managed to keep my tone light this time. “Oh well we can’t have that, I only allow myself to be wooed by the best in the business so you better come in sweet lady.” He moved aside and I ran into the room. I jumped on James and pinned him down. We landed on his bed. Eugh perfect. When I had screamed the last of my insults at him he simply said “as fun as this is Evans, I should let you know. Generally I prefer to be on top.” That was it. One of these days I was going to wipe that arrogant little smirk off his face. I jumped up and marched out of the room just in time to hear Sirius tell James that he could practice woo-ing in front of a mirror. Not on him. I smiled and wondered just how many times I was going to have to threaten to kill him before he got the hint.


The next day James burst into my room before I was awake. Well he might not have burst. I don’t know. I WAS ASLEEP! I didn’t know anything about him even being there until he splashed a cup of water on my face. Lovely.

“Come on Lily-pad up you get,” he said. I opened my eyes and found his face an inch from mine with a mad grin plastered all over it. “Whoa,” I said jumping backwards in bed “and Lily-pad?” I added sceptically.

“Yes, Lily-pad. You don’t like me calling you Evans so now you’re Lily-pad” he informed me. I groaned and sat up. I glanced at the clock. “James! It’s six in the morning why did you get me up?” I shouted.

“I’m a morning person, Sirius isn’t. ‘Nuff said.” He stated. Then I remembered that it’s summer, with that came the memory of the pyjamas that I wear during summer. Strappy top, skimpy shorts. Not great when in a room with a boy that openly has a crush on you. A boy that’s sitting on my bed. A boy that evidently doesn’t wear a top to bed. What fresh hell is this? Still it’s not exactly a bad sight. I wonder how many girls would kill to be in my position? Let me map it out.

There’s me. In bed. In summer Pyjamas. In a house full of sleeping people. One of whom is Sirius Black. The one other person that’s awake is James Potter. Sitting on my bed. With no top on. Anyone swooning raise your hand. Not me of course. Why would I be swooning at that?

“You’re not swooning” James pointed out, what can he read my thoughts? “And pray tell oh mighty golden boy why should I be swooning exactly?” I asked in what I hoped was an innocent voice. “Because you are in a situation that would have most girls swooning. You are in bed wearing nothing but a strappy top and, though the covers are in the way, I suspect skimpy shorts. Am I right?” I nodded “You have the prospect of spending the rest of the summer holidays with the two most dashing marauders if I do say so myself and I James Potter am sitting on your bed. With no shirt on. Feeling swoon like?” He asked.

“Nope.” I told him (don’t look at me like that, it is true!)

“Not even a little inclined to faint into my waiting arms?” he held out his arms. “Not in the slightest” I shook my head.

“Well, we’ll just have to see what we can do about that then won’t we!” And with that he picked me up by my waist, lifted me straight out of bed and started twirling me round in the air. I was screaming and hitting his shoulders. Then he put my feet on the ground and leant me back in his arms which I must say were remarkably muscly (not that I cared). “Sure you don’t feel like fainting Evans?”

“What happened to Lily-pad? And no, whereas most girls would I am not most girls” I replied with a smile.

“Do you not think my wooing has improved?” he asked.

“Sirius will be impressed!” I was trying to wind him up now.

“Right, that’s it!” He said and he picked me up again, hoisted me over his shoulder and carried me to his room.

“James Potter you put me down right now!” I was pounding his back with my fists but he seemed to take no notice. My yells woke Sirius up as we entered their room. “Look Padfoot,” said James “Lily-pad came to join us!” Sirius sat up in bed. Oh great, he wasn’t wearing a shirt either. “Did you have any choice in that matter Lily?” he asked with a sleepy grin. “No! He carried me in over his shoulder!” I exclaimed.

“I noticed,” he said “Prongs what have I told you about kidnapping maidens from their beds?”

James hung his head “not to do it” he mumbled. I laughed and his head snapped up again.

“You know this situation could be potentially useful” I pointed out.

“How so?” asked James

“Teasing Bellatrix” I stated. Sirius growled. Yes actual growling. “Don’t mind Sirius, he and dear sweet Bella don’t exactly see eye to eye” said James

“I gathered. Anyway she’s got a bit of a thing for you James,” I laughed at the shocked look on his face “yes princess Slytherin has got a soft spot for Gryffindor’s golden boy. Who’d have thought it? Anyway, I digress. She told me in potions last year. Well actually her sentiments weren’t as nice as the average girly chat it was more warding me away but still” I trailed off.

“And that’s useful how?” He asked

“You know how much I love to tease little Trixie, and as you most kindly pointed out earlier you were sitting on my bed…” I trailed off as James finished the sentence with a look of glee on his face “with no top on.” Sirius’ face lit up with an evil smile.

“Lily I could kiss you right now if it weren’t for the fact that I know how you react when a guy kisses you and that James would most definitely kick me out.”

“I can do it for you if you like mate” James suggested

“No you can’t” I told him and both guys chuckled.


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