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Laugh it Off by ValFish
Chapter 16 : What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 5

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 Since I've been gone for a while, here's a little recap:

-Elsa and Remus fake dated to get the attention of Sirius Black and Mary McDonald, respectively. 

-Sirius dumped Mary for Marlene, who is now pregnant.

-There was an attack on Hogsmeade and Elsa got her hair singed off (it's growing back). 

-Alice's mum was killed by death eaters.

-Elsa has two brothers, Raffie and Devon, the latter who got bitten by Fenir Greyback and is a werewolf.

-Elsa found out that Remus was a werewolf when he thought James had told her and told her himself by accident. 

-They 'broke up' and are now both miserable watching Sirius and Mary date other people that are clearly NOT them. Partially because Sirius said he wouldn't date an ex-girlfriend of Remus'. 

I think that's most of the main points... if I've missed anything super important I'll edit it later.


Chapter 16 - What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

"Elsa, how do you expect to pass potions if you don't study?"

I groaned from under my pillow as Lily started gathering up my books.

"You told Remus that you would definitely study if he tutored you. Elsa, are you even listening?"

I threw the pillow off my bed and sat up. "No, not really."

Lily dumped my books on my bed and stomped away. "Get yourself together! I don't want to have to monitor your detention again!"

"Buzz off, Lily, will you?"

I rolled back over and stared at the wall, hoping maybe it would melt away and I could fly out of school an into Hogsmeade.

Although, Lily did have a point. Having her watch me, Gideon and Fabian in detention on Friday was really horrible. When Remus has to watch us, he usually just reads a book while we muck around. Lily hovers.

Which also means we were done scrubbing in record time, but I didn't enjoy it as much. If one can even enjoy detention at all.

I guess that's why I got out of bed, got my goddamn books, went downstairs and mumbled 'sorry I'm late' to Remus.

"Not a big deal, now let's go."

"We can't just study in here?"


"Why not?"

"It's loud."

"Not right now it's not!"

"Because I said so."

"That is a terrible reason."

"It's a very good reason."





"No, it's not!"

"Yes it is. Let's go. Now please."

I frowned but grabbed my bag anyway. "Fine, don't have a cow about it," I mumbled.

"I heard that."

"The hell you did."

"Stop it."

I decided to deal with the situation in the most mature way I could think of. I stuck my tongue out and followed Remus out of the common room. Unfortunately for us, we were stopped by Peter.

"Whoa, man, where are you guys going? I thought we were going to go watch Qudditch practice?" Peter said, clearly baffled by the idea that everyone had other plans.

Remus shook his head. "It's Monday. James doesn't have the pitch until tomorrow. So whatever he told you today is a lie and he and Sirius are probably off trying to woo some girls into shagging them."

"Twats," Peter mumbled. "Where are you two going then? Rekindling the love flame?"

I rolled my eyes. "You can't keep a flame if there's no spark to start with. Excuse us, Pete, I have to pass potions. Which means I have to do half the work on this project."

Peter laughed. "Good luck with that."

"Piss off."

"You piss off."

"No, you!"


"Both of you piss off each other, alright? Elsa, let's go," Remus said, breaking the intense argument. Well, intense for me and Peter.

"Fun killer," I mumbled under my breath. Why d'you have to stop every pointless argument that I have, huh?"

"Do I really have to answer that? You are seriously going to fail, Elsa. I don't know if this means anything to you, but believe it or not, one day you will have to get a job. And getting a job means that you have to have some form of decent education," Remus explained.

"I wish I cared."

"No you don't."

I was about to argue with that. But it was true.

"Okay, so maybe I don't. But I want to pass, at least. Well, kind of."

Remus rolled his eyes.

There are lots of things I don't expect to happen. I don't expect Marlene to be a good person, I don't expect that child to have a happy upbringing with the screaming match between Sirius and Mommy two flights down, I don't expect to be punished for actually doing my homework. Mostly I didn't expect that this little angel behind me would take such a liking to me.

Especially since the button of my jeans broke off and hit her in the face. And at first I felt really bad, but I guess this kid took 'I'm sorry' as 'be my best friend forever'. Which means I'm royally fucked.

"So you like Charms though?"


"But nothing else?"

Well, a certain boy and generally speaking, chocolate and tea, but not in school.


"How can you not! School is so fascinating and there's this really great book, it's called Hogwarts: A History and did you know that the ceiling is actually enchanted? I thought they just changed the paint every night but it's really magic! Magic is great. I used to be a Mugmle, but I'm a witch now. Except not many people talk to me because according to Melanie McKinnon, I'm a blabber-mouth. So now she just calls me Blabs, but that's okay because at least she talks to me, you know? I told her yesterday that if she didn't like me she shouldn't talk to me. And guess what? She stopped talking to me! It was a pretty low move if you ask me, but that's okay, I guess I'll make new friends soon, right? You'd know, I saw you and your friends before you nearly killed me with that button. The tall was so nice to me! No one is ever that nice to me! And the one with the spiky hair must have thought it was funny because I thought she was going to choke on her own spit! How disgusting is that? I know your friend Lily because once she told me it wasn't okay to run in the corridor and if I did it again she would have to give me a detention. I've never had detention. Have you? I don't think you would. You look nice. Are you nice? You seem nice. Anyway, like I was saying-!"


"-Lily's pretty nice and stuff and I asked her where the loo was once and she gave me the way to the girls toilet and not the boys! How wizard is that?"

"Charity, can I ask you something."

"Cause usually-. Oh, yeah sure. Shoot."

Shoot me.

"Do you usually talk people's ears off like this?"

Oh shit. No. Don't you fucking dare.

Is that a tear? Goddammit.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean that," I said, trying to clear the air between me and the eleven-year old that apparently hadn't had anyone listen to her that long in a while. "I know how you feel. The McKinnon's are just generally bitches in general. Shit- I mean, darn, they are bad, bad people."

Normally I just pray for kids to go away when I start swearing and tell the teacher, but this one stayed. And I hate to admit it, but I kind of felt bad for her. She had hair the color of dirt and it was put into a braid that looked like more of a bird's nest than a hairstyle.

"Do you braid your own hair?" I asked tentatively, hoping to god she would go on another rampage.

"Yes," she said shyly.

I sighed. "This is going to sound rude, but do you know how to braid?"

Charity bit her lip. "Not really. My mom was going to teach me, but, she…"

I looked at the kid quizzically. "What?"

"She died over Christmas break and now I live with my Gran who's really old and wont teach me."

It was blatantly obvious to me that this was karma coming to bite me in the arse. Because this girl was living the life of first year me before I made friends.

"D'you fancy learning?"

I grimaced and braced myself for the answer.

"Yes, I'd love to!"

Oh Elsa, what have you gotten yourself into?

"It's really nice of you to look after Charity like that, Elsa," Remus said from across the table.

"Shut up and work on your half, will you? I am in way over my head," I mumbled.

Remus only smirked. "You think that she'll be gone by next week, don't you?"

I nodded. "I hope. She's a cute kid, but she knows how to talk."

"Don't kill me for saying this, but she's a lot like you, you know."

I sighed and put down the quill that had been writing what I thought were probably the wrong ingredients for Felix Felicis. "I know. It's uncanny, really. A McKinnon calling her 'Blabs', dead mother, miserable childhood, doesn't know how to make friends. I feel like I'm talking to mini-me times eight."

Remus laughed.

Damn that laugh.

"I think it's good for you. It'll force you into being a good person."

I threw a wad of parchment at his head. "I'm already a good person, you twit. What have you done for the world recently?"

"Well, I'm helping you, so that ought to count for something," Remus said. "And I convinced Sirius to stay with Marlene this afternoon. Although, I'm not sure how you'd see that."

I sighed. "I guess I'd rather see them miserable together than miserable apart. And it would be a pretty shitty move on Sirius' part to ditch his pregnant girlfriend. Yes, it does mean that we went out for nothing, but I had fun while it lasted."

"Me too. I kind of miss it, actually," Remus said quietly.

I looked up. "It sounds crazy, but it was nice."

I looked at Remus. He looked at me. We started to move in, and before I knew what the hell had come over me, I kissed him. Very briefly.

"What the hell was that?" I exclaimed, breaking away and wiping my lips off with my sleeve.

Remus faked gagging. "I dunno, you kissed me! What? Why would you do that?"

I shook my head. "I don't know! Why would you star getting all sentimental and mushy and girly?"

"This is completely bonkers."

"Completely. This didn't happen, agreed?"

"Agreed," said James.

I turned around.

"Fucking hell, did you hear all of that?" I asked.

James pulled up a chair and smirked. "I knew you two still liked-liked each other!"

"No. No. God, no. No offence, Remus."

Remus shook his head. "None taken, same to you."

"James, you can't just sneak up on people like that! How long were you standing there?" I asked bluntly.

"I came in at 'let's get to work on this bloody thing."

"So basically the entire damn time?"

"Pretty much."

Remus groaned. "Can I ask you a question James? Do you ever consider that maybe some, er, conversations, aren't meant for other people, or in some cases, the people themselves, to be heard?"

James thought about it for a moment. "No, guess not. You two fancy a stroll?"

"Get out!" I screeched.

Madame Stick-up-my-ass must have heard me because she peeked around the corner and told me to basically shut it.

"Do you think, maybe, that we could do this project later? I'm a little bit distracted," I said to Remus, who nodded.

"I think the common room isn't as loud as I thought it was."

"What's that doing in our dorm?" Marlene asked before I even walked through the door.

"What are you talking about? Oh, that. Er, let me deal with it. D'you mind?" I looked over at Charity, who was sitting on my bed with a stupid grin on her face.

"Er, Charity, how'd you get in here? You're kind of in Hufflepuff. Which means you can't get into the Gryffindor common room. Generally speaking."

Charity smiled and held out a piece of parchment. "Your friend Raymond let me in. He said to give you that."

I unfolded the note.

I've let your little friend in and this means you have to be nice now. I've also managed to corner James into letting us have the keys to the storeroom in the basement of honeyduke's if your interested in going to Hogsmeade this weekend. Strictly platonic, of course.

Have fun.


I'm going to kill Remus next time I see him.

"You mean Remus?" I asked and sat next to Chairty on the bed. "What'd you tell him?"

"Nothing, actually. He just asked me if I was looking for Elsa and I said yes and he let me in."

"That was nice of him," I said through partially gritted teeth.

Charity looked confused. "How do you know how to braid hair if your hair is so short?"

This was going to be a long night.

OhmygoodnessIamsosososorry!! I didn't realize I hadn't put these chapters up yet. :/ So if you're still reading, I apologize for the wait! Thank you!


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