Printer Friendly Version ] [ Report Abuse ]

Killing James Sirius Potter by Paltischa
Chapter 1 : Chapter 1
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 5

Background:   Font color:  

Disclaimer: it's all the property of J.K Rowling. If it was mine I would definitely have been able to buy myself the new skirt I have been lusting over at debenhams without babysitting for a week.

“Oh no, he DIDN’T.” Adara Monroe screeched. Then deciding that wasn’t dramatic enough for the situation she went on to snap her fingers in a ‘Z’ formation. 
“You know Monroe, people aren’t actually supposed to talk like that unless they are a legit member of the local loony bin.” Pointed out Daina Reed, the girl who was currently stuffing her 3rd Honeydukes chocolate bar down her bra on a dare from Ravenclaw’s very own in-house gentleman, Jay Monroe.

He really should have known better then to dare a Gryffindor. But then again, judging by the way he was currently staring in the general direction of Dee’s bulging bra covered only by her thin white tank top, you had to hand it to the Ravenclaw. He got to stare at Dee’s boobs without her cursing him into oblivion.
“Shut up Dee. It’s catchy okay? Don’t judge me.” 
“But it’s so much fun!”
“Drama Queen.”
“Ice Queen.”
“Soulless Sucker”
“That doesn’t even make sense.”
“Your face doesn’t make sense.”
Notice that these dumbshits continued to carry on their intellectual discussion, not even noticing that their  best friend of, oh i don’t know, 6 years still has to utter a sound and controlled before she actually completes her elaborate and drawn out plans of Potter’s torture and goes off to carry them out.
You may wonder what exactly the smart, charismatic, charming, endearing, brilliant James Potter (II) must have done to piss me off. Again.

Why, nothing more then send me a lacy red knickers and bra set. Again.
Though, really, I shouldn’t complain because the last one was blue. And the one before that was green. Now all I need is one set in yellow colour and i can match my undergarments to whichever Quidditch team I’ll be supporting in a match.
Joy to the fucking world.

“Ariana Greengrass, don’t tell me you’re too shocked to speak again. Seriously, does the guy need to send you 67 more knicker sets before you grasp the concept that yes, he does actually have the guts to send you racy undergarments in the morning mail?” 
Always the voice of reason, that Dee.

“Dee! That dumbass just decided to send me knickers and bra in the mail and you’re being hard on me for it? I’m the innocent here! For god’s sake I’m still a bloody virgin! “
This finally caused Jay, to tear off his eyes from Dee’s chest and cough a bit awkwardly before looking down at his shoes.

Oh look, i made the serial bedder of the school awkward.
Adara grinned at her twin brother’s obvious discomfort before tuning in to mine and Dee’s stimulating conversation.
“Innocent my arse! After the stunts you pulled off at last year’s end-of-term ROR bash, I’m surprised the guy didn’t just pop over with a couple of condoms.”
 This made Jay look longingly at the backyard door through which my 15 year old cousin, Scorp had left a couple of minutes back to play Quidditch with his mates. 
Bet he’s regretting his decision to catch up with us before 7th year starts tomorrow.
Glaring sullenly at Dee, i reluctantly acknowledged the fact that she was right. You see, at the last ROR bash i might have you know, been dumped by my boyfriend of 4 months, Rick Mcraeg. And that might have led to me downing a shot of firewhiskey. Or 17. It’s the same thing, really. You know how every party which occurs in the Room of Requirement has at least one drunken girl who dances on top of the table and then exchanges saliva with some guy like it’s the only mean of survival? Yeah, that girl was me at the last one. But oh no, i didn’t just stop there. After all, as a fellow Ravenclaw I am supposed to exceed everyone’s temptations and go that extra mile. 
So not only did i danced on top of a table, drunk out of my mind, and flashing everyone with my multicoloured knickers, but I also kind of, sort of, maybe, just a little bit stripped. I took of my shirt and till this day I thank Merlin every night before sleeping that i was wearing an undershirt of sorts. Still everyone got to see bits of my pure sex bomb of a matching multicoloured bra. At this point, my lovely friend Daina dragged me off the table and led me to a tortured looking Jay who had his eyes closed and ears plugged as he had a mental breakdown of sorts over seeing someone who might as well have been his sister dance in such a scandalous way (hypocrite) as Adara wrestled my discarded shirt from a 15 year old pimply kid.
 But that wasn’t all. Not by a long shot. After Dee went to find me a glass of water and Adara ran to get me a shirt (the pimply kid won the epic tug of war), a certain black-haired, grey eyed son of the Saviour of the Wizarding World took that opportunity to approach me. And i, you know, um, like, maybe attackedhimandsnoggedhimsenselessalongwithgroundingmyhipsintohis. Phew. Don’t make me relive it again. It was Dee who had torn us apart, glared at a Jay who kept reassuring himself that “this is a dream, man. A dream. Yeah, you’ll be alright” and dragged me from there only to yell at me in my hung-over state.
In my defence, I was very very drunk.
Dee likes to remind me that i was practically dry humping him against the wall but don’t listen to her, she exaggerates. 
So yeah, Potter took this to mean that he and i were now some kind of fuck buddies and took it upon himself to buy me undergarments for our next ‘meeting’ as he stated in his attached note.

I am going to kill the sodding Gryffindor with my bare hands, and am going to enjoy every millisecond of pain that i cause him. After which I’ll go dance on his grave. Let’s see him enjoy my dance then.
“You can just kill him with your bare hands during the train ride to Hogwarts tomorrow and then go dance on his grave. It’ll also do wonders for all your pent up anger, you know.” Adara consoled me with a pat.
This is why i love the girl.
“Not that planning a murder isn’t exactly what i had in mind when i came over to spend the last day of the holidays at your place Ariana, but could we now focus on the fact that Dee has 4 Honeydukes chocolate bars stuffed down her bra?!”Jay demanded, his voice betraying his excitement at finding himself in the lucky position of being able to look at a girl’s boobs who he’s had a somewhat secret (read: pathetic) crush on since 3rd year. 
As i grinned back at him, he switched his gaze back to Dee’s bulging bra, drooled and before he could think better of it, said, “Man, i just can’t wait to eat them up, they’re gonna be so yummy.”
Wow. What a thickhead. He really shouldn’t have.
As Dee launched at him with a battle cry and Adara cuffed him over the head amidst his cries of, “The chocolate bars! The chocolate bars! Not those other things!” I found myself slipping out and going to my happy place where i am using all sorts of torture devices on Potter and watching him take his last breaths. Hmm, nothing like an impending murder mission to make a teenage girl look forward to school.
A/N : please do review! It's my first fanfic and I would absolutely love to know what you guys thought of it. Seriously, even a smiley would do.
Yes, I am that desperate for reviews.

Favorite |Reading List |Currently Reading

Review Write a Review
Killing James Sirius Potter: Chapter 1


(6000 characters max.) 6000 remaining

Your Name:

Prove you are Human:
What is the name of the Harry Potter character seen in the image on the left?


Other Similar Stories

Half and Half
by K_Bear

by sunkist

You're Funny...
by HazJKR