Chapter 5 : Discovering Lost Thoughts
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I looked at myself in the mirror. What was happening to me? Why did I suddenly feel so happy with him? He always looked at me with care in his eyes. There was something in me who felt different and I had no idea what it was. There was only one way to find out and that was by talking to Lor.
I walked out of the toilets and found Joshua standing there. “Hey Josh. Weren’t you with James?” I asked slowly.
“James. Lily when did you start calling Potter, James? You hate him remember.” He asked. I looked at him and just stared. What would he know about me and James? “Now let’s go to head meeting before we get late.” I walked cautiously beside him.
“Josh, where is James?” I emphasised James’s name. His smirk looked suspicious and pleased.
“I don’t know I left him at the meeting to look for you.” He said it harshly breaking from his smirk. We walked back in silence. When we got there I excused myself and tried to find James but he was nowhere to be seen. By the time the prefects started to take their seats. I went and stood in front of them, grabbing all their attention..
“Where is Potter?” one of the Slytherins sneered.
I didn’t even know myself so I quickly thought of a possibility. “He was here at the beginning but then felt sick of something he ate at breakfast.”
Joshua stared at me with his mouth hanging open and the prefects just nodded. I could see Remus staring straight past me with distress. I glanced away from him and looked at everyone.
“Welcome to our second meeting of the year.” I started. “I am sorry about James not being here, so we shall continue on without him. I will start with what Professor Mc Gonagal has planned for the year. If you wish to add anything else, feel free to tell either James or me.” I paused and took a glance at Remus. He had his hands in a ball and was staring at them. I sighed and focused back at them.
“I have a box here full of exciting events that Professor Mc Gonagal and Dumbledore have kindly agreed to. You and your partner will be in charge of that event and will be in charge of organising it. Don’t hesitate in asking other people s opinions. I guess that’s our main plan for today. Ok everyone pick one.” After distributing it to everyone I reached into the box to retreat the last card.
I flipped the black card open to see the words Masquerade Ball written in cursive writing.
James and I had to arrange the one and only Masquerade Ball which was probably the main event for our year. This would be interesting!
I told everyone for the rest of the meeting to discuss their responsibilities and what their plans were. I also told them to ask everyone their opinions and to decide between the pairs whose responsibility is whose.
I walked around and inquired everyone and checked if they were getting anywhere. I noticed that when I went to Remus and Anasta that Remus was avoiding eye-contact with me. Something was wrong and he was hiding it away from me!
I dismissed them when time was up and tried to find Remus but he had already left so I headed to the Great Hall for lunch.
I took my seat in front of Lor. “I want an explanation and start at the beginning of Potions.” She said. I nodded and started. I told her everything, from passing notes and having a weird feeling to the end of head meeting. “So you’re telling me James and you have been passing notes throughout Potions.” She exclaimed.
“Yes” I answered slowly.
“Then you walked together to head duties.” I nodded this time. “THEN you get partnered up with him and then get the responsibility of organising THE Masquerade ball.” She ended with a smirk.
“Yeah, pretty much but he wasn’t even there when we were given the duty.” I shrugged and tried to skim through the Gryffindor table. Still no Marauder!
“No Lily the thing is not about the Masquerade ball the thing is that you Lily Evans is finally falling for James Potter after five years! This is a-m-a-z-i-n-g” she smiled and took a bite of her fruit salad.
“No I can’t…” I couldn’t deny it but I couldn’t accept it. Was it true that I Lily Evans, that use to throw glares of daggers at James Potter, was now starting to like him? “Anyway whatever it is, it isn’t important, I need to just tell him what he missed.”
I got up and finally saw the Marauders there, sitting on the edge without James. I walked up to them and asked “Remus have you seen James he left before head meeting and you look worried. Is everything ok?” I asked.
“Yeah Lily, he’s good. He is just taking some rest in our dorm. He ate something bad during breakfast.” Remus looked down halfway. He wasn’t convincing me at all.
“Look Remus, I know you aren’t telling me the truth, just tell me where is he? I need to tell him something.” I whispered.
“I will tell him for you don’t worry.” I knew that was all I was going to get so I dropped it and left.
“Whatever!” Sirius was extremely quiet, he didn’t greet me like he always did. Something defiantly was wrong. It either happened between them or happened when I went to the toilet.
I walked towards the Gryffindor’s common room, feeling like a load of crap. James wasn’t listening to me and Remus was busy trying to finish all his homework. Remus was using homework as an excuse to keep his mind busy.
Every single one of the Marauders was upset. People would soon enough notice this huge change.
“Hey Black!” I looked over to see Alison waving at me from the couch. She had a sad smile plastered across her face.
“What’s wrong?” she looked at me with a frown.
“Nothing!” I’m sure it felt like nothing was wrong. Only that my best friend is ignoring me and isn’t taking much of my advice. He instead is running around listening to what Anderson has to say!
“Come on, you’ll feel much better if you spill it out.” She now patted my shoulder sending a million sparks running through me.
I sighed and watched her under my lashes. “James is sad because of someone and he isn’t talking to any one of us! I feel empty and alone since Moony, I mean Remus is running of taking extra notes and homework for him.”
She listened to my every word then nodded and smiled softly. “From what you’ve told me, I reckon James just needs time to think. He’s confused on whom to listen to. I understand that he knows you more but he must have been thinking of what upset him“ she ran her fingers through her neatly combed hair. “You’ll have to wait for him to come back to his senses.”
I once again looked back at her with faith. I quietly replied back as she was about to leave. “Thanks Alisha.”
“Anytime Sirius, anytime.” I grinned and headed for the boys dorm.
Alora and I were sitting in the library across from each other. All my plans for tomorrow where now cancelled. I was going to ask her out to Hogsmead but I’m not sure if prongs, Padfoot or Pete will come.
I had planned everything out before. I had planned to take her to all the shops, out to lunch and then to the shrieking shack. I was going to make it a memorable day for her.
At the shrieking Shake we would then have our first kiss. I can remember it exactly from my dream. I was holding her hands, teaching her how to dance. She was laughing and I was watching. Her long curly hair was let out.
She had looked up at me realising my stillness but had blushed and turned away. I had walked up to her and gently closed the gap between us. Her lips were so soft and warm. I could taste her strawberry lip gloss as my hands made their way around her tiny back.
This has been the dream that I’ve been wishing to come true but I guess I could wait a little longer.
That was what didn’t bother me now. I was really worried about Lily.
I had never lied at her before. Not with being a werewolf or whether or not James had dome a prank. She was like a sister to me. She was always there for me when I needed help and now I was lying and keeping away the truth of James.
“Are you ok Remus?” I placed my hand on top of hers which was on my other hand.
“Yeah I’m fine” I could tell that she knew I was lying but I knew that she wouldn’t ask any further.
This week was going to be one slow week and I’m not sure if it’s going to look good.
I sat by the lake and stared at the water. I threw rocks into the lake and watched in splash everywhere. How was I going to forget her? It isn’t like forgetting to do homework or to show up to quidttich practice, it was forgetting Lily.
I ran my fingers through my hair and got up and walked back into the castle. I rejected a few greetings from my class mates and just walked towards the common room. Not the head common room the Gryffindor common room. I can’t face her yet and if I go to our room, I will be asking for it.
“James! James! Hey have you seen James?” I froze immediately when I heard my voice being called out. It was her, it had to be. Was she looking for me? Tears welled up in my eyes again. I ran towards my dorm as fast as I could and shut the door hard. I fell to the floor and cried. Few minutes later I walked towards my spare bed and fell there, not knowing how long I would be staying here.
I don’t know when I fell asleep but I suddenly woke up when I heard their voices. “Prongs get up, come on dinner has already passed and everyone is wondering where you are. We even brought you food like good friends would and you are now going to get up get changed and come to Astronomy. You’ve already missed two subjects and that we also talked to the teacher about.” I heard Sirius sigh. “You can’t hide from her forever.” I groaned when they said her obviously referring to Lily.
“Look James, she has already been asking us what is wrong. She isn’t going to stop mate she knows something is wrong and when you didn’t attend head meeting you were made partners with Lily to organise the Masquerade Ball together.” I had to be partners with Lily at head duties and on top of that organise a masquerade ball with her, it would be impossible for me to be able to do that.
“No I can’t, I need to rest for a while” I said stubbornly pulling the blanket on top of my head.
When Astronomy finished I saw that Sirius and Remus was in a hurry to leave.
I walked to my common room. “Hi Alison. Scrofulous” she smiled and let me in. It was too quiet so I figured that James was in his room.
I dumped my bag on the table and went to change into my pyjamas. When i came down I walked towards James’s room and knocked. No one answered so I carefully turned the knob and opened the door.
James wasn’t there.
I went to the couch and pulled out my homework. I just continued to work, waiting for him to show up. I could feel my body weaken but each time I would push myself up. I swear I heard the Portrait open but when I turned to look it was closed.
“James, are you back” I whispered.
“I guess not. He will be back Lily just wait a little bit longer.”
I don’t know when I finally slept but I remembered sleeping with his smiling face in my mind. I felt warmer than I was and it was good.
When I finally realised that Remus, Sirius and Peter were asleep, I got up and sneaked to my common room. My legs were aching and so were my arms.
I wrapped the invincibility cloak around me and walked slowly. When I approached Alison she smiled and let me in with the password of course. I don’t know why she didn’t ask me why I came in so late but I guess that’s good.
I stopped and my eye widened. I saw Lily turn to look at my direction. What was she doing up this late?
“James, are you back?” she whispered.
I held my breath and felt the pain in my chest return.
“I guess not. He will be back Lily just wait a bit longer.” She looked disappointed and sad.
I quickly hurried to my room and closing it without a noise. She was waiting for me and still is waiting for me to return.
I felt a tear roll down my cheek and fall off on to my palm. I ignored it and grabbed what I needed. Some clothes, books and my toothbrush. The rest I could borrow of the guys.
I walked out of my room to hear soft little snores. I smiled softly and turned to face a sleeping Lily. I grabbed my blanket and placed it onto her. I leaned over and brushed my lips on her forehead and whispered. “I’m sorry”
Every day I would try to talk to him at Potions or even out of class but he wouldn’t respond back. He would pretend to talk to Remus. Yeah I said it, pretend. James Potter was ignoring me. Even when we were asked to make a potion he would grab all the ingredients and start without me. The furthest he had told me was that he was going to spend some days back at the Gryffindor common room with the guys. I knew he came that day when I was waiting for him. He must have placed his blanket on me. No, he did place his blanket on me.
I don’t know what happened but I am worried about him. He has never been like this before and he has never not greeted me before. I felt really miserable without hearing him call me Evans or laugh at me. I sometimes think that I rather he annoyed me than stay silent and ignore me.
I was sitting at the common room reading when Alison came in. Yeah I gave her and the girls the password “Hey, where were you?” I asked.
“With Sirius, he feels depressed that James and he haven’t even had a proper conversation since, weeks ago. He isn’t really talking to any of them”
“Oh, that’s nice of you, just be careful.”
“Yeah sure. Thanks Lily it means a lot to me that you care about me but we’re just fiends.” They all knew how I worry about them. I looked up to smile at her when I heard the portrait door open and saw James walking in. It’s been weeks since I’ve seen him walk in here.
“Hey wait James, please wait!” I called out, which he just ignored. I just didn’t know what was wrong anymore. I will have to admit it made me sad that he was sad. I wiped my eyes making sure there were no tears. It was hurting me inside.
“He’ll come around Lily, I am sure something is wrong and he just wants some space. Don’t worry silly, I don’t think he would want you to either.” Alison tried to comfort me.
“I sent him flowers too, he didn’t say anything.” By now there were tears spilling out but I wiped them away at the sound of the door knocking.
Alison got up and let them in. It was Remus he watched me and looked at his feet.
“I’m so sorry Lily that he’s hurting you.” He said to me. Remus always knew how I always felt even if I placed a smile on my face. He would be able to see straight through it.
“No its fine Remus I’m fine just.” He nodded without satisfaction and walked away. I looked at Alison and cried again on her shoulder.
It was already three weeks and he still hadn’t talked to me. Head meeting was on and I didn’t even know if he was going to attend.
I silently walked down with Lor to breakfast while she was talking to Alice about the quidttich game coming up. Would James participate in the game? I questioned myself.
I tossed the food around on my plate and observed my surroundings. That was when I saw them all of them. The Marauders, laughing and talking together like nothing ever happened. I just looked at him with a smile. It was good to see him laughing after those three whole weeks. I caught his glance and quickly turned down back at my food. He looked worriedly at me like he actually cared about me. I could feel my blood creep up.
“Look Lily he is much better now, maybe he’ll explain everything to you at potions.” Alora stated to me.
“I really don’t care about an explanation, I am just happy he’s back to normal.” I whispered.
“That’s so sweet Lily.” Alice chimed as she smirked which I smiled at.
Three weeks passed and I was still in bed not talking and not eating well. We even had quidttich tryouts and people noticed I wasn’t enthusiastic. Sirius tried to talk to me but I ignored him. He looked as depressed. I did receive flowers from Lily which made me cry the entire 2nd week but I think Sirius hid all the other flowers from me after that.
The past two day when I would attend class I wouldn’t talk or laugh and I would avoid Lily as much as possible. She tried to talk to me several times during lessons but I ran away from her and pretend to talk to Sirius. The boys left me alone. Sirius was sad that I wasn’t talking properly. Lily must be angry at me for not speaking to her. I messed my friendship up with everyone.
So I decided to get up and act normal and hopefully be forgiven by them all. I got out of bed before them and took a long warm shower. I changed into my uniform and took a glance at myself in the mirror. I can’t imagine what i must have looked like 3 weeks ago. Probably like a dead rat.
I ran my finger through my hair and stepped out of the bathroom. All three of them were sitting up in bed looking right at me with shocked expressions.
I started before they would. “Guys, I am extremely sorry to what I have done to you guys. I haven’t been talking to you and I haven’t been sitting with you. I was being a git and had no right to treat any of you like that. I was just having a hard time and I understand if you don’t forgive me. I am going to be myself again and talk to my class mates and pull pranks but please forgive me.” I concluded. There was a long silence before Sirius spoke.
“Prongs we all just glad our James is back!” Sirius yelled and hoped out of bed.
“Yeah mate” Peter called out and followed Sirius,
“James you don’t know how worried we were and now your back it has brought relief to us.” Remus said. We all huddled in a group hug.
“Thanks guys, I am going to act normal and talk to Lily as friends and start discussing the masquerade ball and potions homework.” There was still a crack in my voice when I said Lily’s name but I covered it. I didn’t want my friends to worry about me and I knew there was a full moon coming up. No need to add more stress to Remus.
“Um, great let’s get changed and head down to breakfast.” Sirius called out. They all left to get changed. We had double potions first which meant I would have to talk to Lily. “Ok, let’s go!” I was considering moving back to the Head Common room if Lily forgave me but I wasn’t exactly sure yet.
Sirius was telling me all the funny things that I had missed out on and filled me with the one prank they did on the Slytherines. They never played any other pranks when I wasn’t talking to them.
I laughed and entered the hall catching the site of Lily. I was worried about her, if she was fine, Remus told me I had made her cry once. I still wanted to keep our friendship but I will never forgive myself for doing that to her.
She was confused and lost but looked away from me I smiled as I saw her cheeks turn pink. Still as beautiful from the last time I saw her. I owed her an apology. She had covered me up during lessons and head meetings without a proper explanation from me. Sometimes I feel proud that I had fallen in love with a girl like her.
We talked while eating. I had stuffed my face with jelly, it had been a while since I last enjoyed and tasted my food. Sirius and I were discussing the game next week with the huffelpuffs. It would be an easy game to win.
We headed down to Potions. When we reached we went our separate ways. I took my seat next to Lily and faced her, she was looking ... I stopped. “Lily I owe you an explanation. I wasn’t really feeling well for the past three weeks and I just recovered and for the ignoring part, I just needed some time alone to myself. I am really sorry.” I let the words rush out.
“Thanks James it really means a lot that you are explaining it to me.” She forgave me that quickly. I was astonished as I was relieved. She wasn’t making any of this easier for me. “I hope you were informed about our duties of arranging a ball in five weeks’ time.” She asked.
“Yeah, I heard. I have a few ideas. Maybe making it a memorable night you know. Like I know it is a huge thing to girls and it is also our last year. People can meet new people that they don’t know and have fun I guess. Everyone will be wearing a mask which will make it even more mysterious.” I told her my thoughts on the ball.
“That’s amazing James, so we should meet or sometime and discuss the food and decorations. There is very little time since we have to order food supplies by the end of the week.” I stared into her emerald eyes and nodded.
“Yeah. Thanks for the flowers Lily, they’re my favourite type.” She smiled as Slughorn entered in and started talking about love potions. The topic was disturbing me. I yawned and grabbed parchment out of my bag. I started writing notes and yes Lily did stare in shock but then smiled.
Should I ask her that we should meet up in Hogsmead or will she think I am asking her out because I don’t want her to think that or get screamed at for being stupid. I will go with the library. The Library would be perfect for it. I tore some parchment and wrote neatly.
Do you want to discuss the Ball after dinner at the library?
I passed the note to her and waited for a reply.
Sounds great, we’ll leave after Head meeting.
I smiled. I forgot about head meeting, it was exactly three weeks after that incident. I changed the thoughts in my mind. I turned and saw Sirius and Alison together. They had become quite close from the past few weeks. Lily got up and started grabbing the ingredients. I then realise we were making a love potion in class.
I got up and started the fire. “Ok, can you cut up the ingredients while I start mixing the herbs?” she asked. I now felt guilty. For the past weeks I didn’t really allow her to do anything. She would just sit and stare at me.
“Sure. Lily I am also sorry how I didn’t really let you do anything when we had to make potions.” I apologised again.
“James it is fine really, I’d forgotten about it I understand you were going through a lot at that time.” She said looking into my eyes. I glanced down and grabbed the knife to chop up all the ingredients. I sighed, Transfiguration next with Ravenclaws.
Slughorn came by us and was impressed with our potion. ”Ok extension is to smell the potion and take turns in telling each other what you smell.”
“I’ll start if you don’t mind.” I asked. She allowed me to go. I inhaled the scent of the potion and smelt the dirt of quidttich and a strong smell of apple pie. Sirius and I loved Apple Danish Pie, especially my mums.
Then there was an unfamiliar scent I couldn’t figure out. There was a floral scent which was so enduring. Like vanilla soap or perfume. I froze it couldn’t have been her could it. She must have noticed.
Lily cleared her throat. “Sorry, I smell dirt and Apple Danish Pie, there’s a vanilla or floral scent which I think is my favourite flower.” I ended lamely and gestured her to try.
“And…” he waited patiently. I cleared my throat loudly. What was he thinking of? “Sorry, I smell dirt and Apple Danish Pie, there’s a vanilla or floral scent which I think is my favourite flower.” He ended. Floral smell now what could that have been. He gestured me to have a go. I took sigh and stepped forward to inhale it. I could smell “flowers, herbs and spices, rain and…” I stopped I smelt after shave cream. What was that supposed to mean.
“And” he interrupted.
“And, nothing. That’s it.” I ended stupidly.
“Oh ok, well we’re done here. Let’s write some notes.” He offered.
“Yeah, sure” I really liked it how he started writing notes with me. We took our seats and a few minutes later class was dismissed. “See ya, James” I walked to Lor and told her that he did apologise after all.
“That’s great Lily, I am happy that he’s talking again to you. Remus was talking with me and suddenly he asked me out to Hogsmead randomly. I said yes!” I was so happy for Alora she really likes him and I know he’ll make her happy.
“I am seriously so happy for you two that I can’t express it.” I told her.
“I know you’d be happy for me, Alison congratulated me too!” I could see how excited she was. The marauders walked right past us as we were squealing. “Anyway, let’s go to Lunch I am starved” she whined.
We sat in front of Alison and Alice and started talking about the upcoming Hogsmead trip. I laughed at myself at the memories of James attempting to ask me out every day. I use to scream at him, poor thing.
“I need to grab my book from the common room. See ya at Dinner.” I took off to the common room. I walked in and saw James playing wizard chess with Sirius I smiled and walked to my room. I found my book on the bed. I tied my hair in a ponytail and I placed eyeliner on. I grabbed the book and placed it into my bag.
I was sitting next to Remus during potions. I walked over to the ingredient storeroom and grabbed the ingredients that we would need. I returned back to the table, where Remus took the ingredients off me.
“Here, let me help” He placed his hands right in front of mine, brushing them gently.
“Thanks” I looked down trying to cover up my blush.
“You look cute” my head shot up to see Remus with wide eyes and hands over his mouth.
“Excuse me?” I was now slightly amused.
“I m-mean …” he scratched his head. “You look pretty.” He concluded softly.
I laughed softly. “I’ll go get the herbs.” I lifted my hand and messed up his hair, leaving him smirking.
When I came back I saw Remus repeating a line over and over again. “What are you saying Remus?”
He sighed and faced me. “WillyougotoHogsmeadwithme”
“sorry, I didn’t catch that.”
“Alora, will you go to Hogsmead with me?” he looked down at his feet when my mouth hung open.
Was he serious? No, why would he want to? “Why?”
“Because you’re funny. Intelligent, caring and beautiful but if you don’t want to then… it’s fine.” Merlin, what did I do?”
I placed my hand beside his cheek and lifted his face up to mine. “I would love to go to Hogsmead with you Remus. It’s any girl’s dream to go with you”
I met Alice at the entrance of the room so we took seats next to each other and started talking about our studies. When Professor Mc Gonigal arrived I got my quill and parchment out of my bag.
“Today we are going to learn how to trans…” before she could finish the sentence there was a loud crash and people screamed. The room was filled with smoke. There were people coughing… and certain people laughing. When it got a bit clearer we were dismissed for good reasons.
“Class dismissed, Potter, Black detention tonight. After Head meeting for you Potter. An owl will send you the times.” Professor Mc Gonigal said sternly. Well I guess that cancels our plans, never mind it would keep everything from his mind.
“Shit” James whispered.
I left with Alice. “Can we go down to the lake and study?” I asked. I figured it was the Marauders daily routine to earn detentions everyday so I let that slip.
“Yeah sure, I was about to ask you.” We laughed and left the great Hall. We found a shady spot under the tree. I got parchment out and my Transfiguration book. I started writing.
“Lily, Can I please talk to you?” I looked up to see all the Marauders and James standing there with his hand running through his hair.
“Yeah” I sighed and got up. I hope he didn’t feel bad. I don’t want him to take the blame on him.
“Class dismissed, Potter, Black detention tonight after Head meeting for you Potter. An owl will send you the times.” Professor Mc Gonigal said sternly. For one second there I thought I would get away because of Head meeting.
“Shit” I whispered. “Lily and I were going to discuss the masquerade ball.” I looked up to see her leaving with Alice. “Guys what do I do now?” I hope she isn’t sad that I cancelled.
“You are going to find her and apologise and fix another day… like tomorrow.” Remus answered. “And you better attend that one”
“Yep” I walked out with the guys behind me. “Can I use the map?” They nodded in response. I pulled out the map from my pocket and grabbed my wand. “I solemnly swear I’m up to no good” I whispered with a tap on the map. The words appeared:
Messer Moony Wormtail Padfoot Prongs Presents the Marauders Map.
Lily was not in the castle but she was where I’d expected her to be, down by the lake with Alice. “Let’s go!”
We walked down and I saw Lily lying down with a quill in her hand. The wind blew her hair vigorously. She looked amazing as usual. When I got down there I ran my fingers through my hair and carefully spoke the correct words. “Lily, Can I please talk to you?” I hoped she’d say yes. I couldn’t stand it if she’d say no.
“Yeah” she replied harmoniously. The guys moved away giving us privacy.
“Lily I am so sorry I didn’t mean to get detention and especially not on our meeting. Please forgive me I will make up for it, tomorrow at the library. I took a breath at the end. She was smiling at me now.
“Do you ever breathe James?” I smiled back. “I was never angry nor upset. Things do happen when plans have to get cancelled and it was for a good reason. Look I now get to study more!” she said smiling sweetly. She really understood me but it was good I kept my distance.
“Thanks Lily I just want you to know I really wanted to attend out meeting and I didn’t do it on purpose.”
“James it is fine, I was about to cancel anyway so don’t worry.”
“Wait what?” I gathered what she said. She was going to cancel on me. Why?
“Well I… thought on sleeping early… because I had a rough night… yesterday.” She said.
“Oh Well yeah you should get some rest. ”I paused knowing she was lying something at me. “See ya.”
“See ya” she replied back. I walked away with the guys.
“You ok James” Sirius asked me.
“Yeah I’m fine” I let it drop and walked into the castle. Tomorrow was the Hogsmead trip and the first time I haven’t asked Lily.
I went back to the common room and sat in front of the fireplace when an owl flew in and sat on the ledge. I walked over and grabbed the letter. I tore it open and read:
Mr Potter, will attend detention tonight at 8:00 to 9:00.
I placed in my pocket and headed down for dinner. Remus was already seated with Sirius and Peter. Lily was down a few chairs away from us. I took a seat and merged into the conversation.
Dumbledore announced a speech and then allowed the feast to begin. I didn’t eat much because I had packed myself at lunch.
After dinner I took off with Remus to the head meeting. Lily was right in front of us. I took a seat next to her and we started to address the meeting. “Welcome again to another of our head meetings, with both James and I here’ Lily started. She looked at me and I understood.
“Today we will be hoping that we all finalize our events. Like you should know where it will be held and where the food will be ordered from if that is required.” I continued from Lily.
“And you are welcome to speak to us if there is any problem with your event” Lily finished and everyone started.
We had already chosen a restaurant from where we would order the food from but now we were discussing about the selection of food choices we should have at the ball.
Then we moved on to a dress code. I decided having a dress code would be fun.
“So we should make a colour theme” I suggested.
“Yeah, great thinking James, I think black and purple because it would a lot easier to find dressers and robes for the night” she replied. I smiled widely back at her.
I looked at the clock to see we went ten minutes over time.
“Dismissed guys you may leave.” I called out. I got up and waited for Lily.
“I need to go detention you catch up on your sleep.” I told her sternly. I did move back everything of mine back in my Head Room already so she knew I was now staying there.
“Yeah, Thanks James” and with that she walked right pass me and left the room. I headed to detention where Sirius should already be.
I felt guilty for lying to James but at least he wasn’t taking the blame on himself and I was going to be in our room so no harm was in intended.
I needed to grab a book from the library for potions so I decided to go there for a while. I opened the doors and walked in. I searched through isles for the book and grabbed it. It weighed a tonne.
I didn’t want to carry the book so I decided to write notes down. I had now an entire page of notes.
“Dear the library is closing now; you will have to leave now.” The librarian informed me.
“Yep” I got up and returned the book in its respected area. I exited the library and headed to the Gryffindor common room.
I was walking when I saw Joshua standing there leaning against the wall in front of me. “Hey Josh. What are you doing here?” I asked him cautiously.
“I could ask you the same love, but I’m not” what was he saying? He wasn’t drunk, was he? He didn’t look drunk.
“What is going on? What do you want?” I asked getting a little worried to be alone.
“Ha, Lily, love you ask way too many questions. You know what i want.” He smirked and took a step closer.
“I do?” I paused and continued. “Joshua, please stop this now, it is not a joke.” I stepped backwards and my back collided with a wall.
“See even god knows we’re meant to be.” He came closer and placed his hands on my shoulders and placed a strand of hair behind my ear. He brought his lips next to my ear and whispered “Come on babe, just one date to Hogsmead.”
“I think I’ll pass” I spat to him. What the hell was he doing?
“Feisty are we. That’s good, I love feisty women.” He grabbed my hands and forced me onto the wall again. His lips crashed against my neck harshly, slowly moving to the bridge of my jaw.
His hands slowly made their way up my arms then down to my hip. He then slowly made his way to my thigh. Tears welled up in my eyes.
I heard faint laughter and screamed out for help hoping that someone would hear my cries. Please James, please find me.
“HELP! Get off me Joshua. HELP!” I screamed with tears spilling down my eyes but Joshua smashed his lips on mine to stop me.
Hearing footsteps, Joshua threw me onto the floor with my head hitting first. I cried even more. I was in pain, physically and emotionally. Obviously Joshua fled off.
I could hear voices getting closer.
“LILY” it shouted. I looked up and managed to recognise them. It was James and Sirius. James came directly towards me. “Oh my god. Lily who did this to you.” He held on to me securely seeing I was dizzy. His voice was filled with rage and violent. I stared into his hazel eyes and saw his concern for me. I thanked god for sending him to me. I felt so safe and protected in his arms.
“Lily, who did this to you” James failed miserably at keeping a calm voice on.
“Joshua Anderson” I whispered before passing out in his arms. All I knew was that I was now safe in his arms.
Authors note: Yay! Sorry for the hold up. I had O.W.L.S for the past few weeks. I have been trying 3rd point of view for this chapter. Please tell me if you want me to post that instead of this one. Difference is just that the other one is in 3rd personJ Please review and tell me what you think! Did you like it? Was it too rushed? Is it a good story so far? Please review and answer these short questions. Thank you so much! Special thanks to C, Phoenix_Flames, Alex Fan, adluvshp and hermes who have really supported me J I know that there are many of you that have as well and I really appreciate it a lot. As you may know this is a edited version with more POV added in. I do hope you enjoy it. Special thanks to C!
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