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Chapter 10 : Christmas Eve - Sirius
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I was still absolutely fuming about the incident before we left school; how could she be so careless and irresponsible with my precious baby girl? I need to stop thinking about it really, it gave me the shakes and I got angry just thinking about it.
She was better now. My Summer. She’s staying with me, at the Potters of course, just till Christmas Day and then we’re switching. Don’t get me wrong, I hate Adriana for the situation that panned out and she was so stupid to do it, but she’s a good mum. Nothing I can do or say will ever change that… and I’m thankful. Because it would be so hard doing all of this by myself.
Honestly? I completely understand her reactions at the start of the year. I should have cared more, I should have looked harder. But it seems I didn’t. not doing so, seemed to have sealed our fate. We weren’t going to last.
Honestly? I didn’t expect us to. Of course I love her more than anything and it’s going to take me forever to get over her, especially still being around her… in more ways than just sharing a social group. I love that her hair still shines, no matter what mood she’s in. I love that her eyes still glisten, whether she’s happy or sad.
Honestly? More than anything, I want her to be happy. Whether that’s being a single parent raising Summer with help from a devoted father, or dating again. Getting back out on the love scene, with a devoted father always they’re offering to babysit Sum when it’s needed. She’d a good mum.
At the moment though, I wanted her no where near my littlen. Not why she’s so precious and fragile, she’s on the recovery though. Soon she’ll be able to run around happily like nothing was ever wrong. Mum freaked out when she first saw Sum, getting off of the train. She was still so cold, and still do pale. Scared me half to death.
Spoiled bed rest, that’s all she needed. She’s nearly back to normal now, she’s sitting up and laughing with me and Nanny and Granddad. Unky Jams has gone to stay with Lily for a couple of days, but he’ll be back for Christmas Eve, thankfully.
The party wouldn’t be the same without him.
The party… I’m nervous about that to be honest, Summer, well she’s in my care. Its my duty, my responsibility to look after her and make sure she’s as comfortable and happy than she could be. But it’s the Christmas Eve party, the biggest party in Hogsmede. Anyone who is anyone will be at this party - and I’m Sirius Black. I’m obviousy someone. And I can’t exactly turn round to Adriana and be like ‘hey babysit Summer whilst I go get completely wrecked’ no I cant… because she’ll most likely be there as well. I know Mum and Dad are always offering, but I feel cheeky. Technically she’s not their granddaughter… I don’t want to be giving them any more hassle than I need to.
One thing is for certain… I can’t miss that party.
“Hello sweetie!” I cooed at my little girl who was laying back in her bed stuffing her face with Liquorice Wands watching the Muggle Television that Mum put in there. I will never forgive her for that, she’s made my child an adict. And a talking mouse called Maizey! I mean how unrealistic can you get?!
“Hi!” she replied happily not moving her eyes away from the screen. This was enough now.
“Right enough, come on!” I told her, picking her up over my shoulder grinning at the sound of her boisterous laughter and her hapy pleads for me to let her down… Summer was back.
Walking past mum in the hallway a grinned as Summer started pleaing for her help, Mum shook her head and shut herself into her bedroom. Practically skipping through the halls to James and mine front room; honestly though it was more of Summers play room now. Swinging the door open and skipping over to the biggest bean-bag (Summer had already called it as her own) I delicately flung her over my shoulder and onto the bean-bag. Laughter had forced itself and taken over Summers face, making her look ridiculously happy and so much better than before.
“We’re going to play,” I said clearly to her, sticking my tongue out so that she could feel the playfullness.
“Come on daddy, lets have a tea party,”
So I was going to regret this…
“Where’s my favourite little girl?!” Prongs shouted the second he walked through the front door. Summer and I glanced each other - identical grins on our faces as we both ran towards the lobby… me being the older one got their first.
“JAMSIEEE!” I shouted and jumped on my best mate, throwing my arms around him in a massive hug, he returned it, and I’m sure he was trying to squeeze the life out of me.
“SIRIII!” He shouted back dramtically, I could hear the laughter from behind us - Lily and Summer thought that we were messing around. But no, I actually missed my best friend whilst he was away at Lily’s.
“I missed you mate,” I told him truthfully, smacking him on the back as I pulled away from his hug.
“Me to mate,” he said and we grinned at each other before he turned to my daughter, to show that he hadn’t forgotten about her… she was like that sometimes - just like her mum.
“Hey Summy!” he called and spun her around grinning as she squealed happily.
“Hey Lils,” I said to his girl, kissing her cheek and pulling her into a big hug too. I’ve missed her as well.
“Hey Sirius!” she’s so happy and bubbly all of the time, she knows exactly what to do and what to say all of the time… I can absolutely see how James fell for her. She’s exactly his type. “We’ve got a few hours till we leave - come up and see me yea?” she whispered in my ear - she knew me too well that girl.
James was safely playing with Summer in our ‘play-room’ as Mum had now labelled it, much to Prongs’ glee of course - so I snuck upstairs into his bedroom. Not in that pervy ‘I wanna see Lily naked’ way… more of a ‘I need to talk to Lily’. plus she was like my sister, and thankfully James knew that so there was no way that he’d get the wrong idea about any of this.
Sorry about the rambling - but I don’t even want to imagine losing James or Lils like I’ve lost Ade.
Thankfully Lily had shorts and a top on; admittedly, very short shorts and a very small top - but it was better than nothing huh? Right. She smiled at me as I walked through the door cautiously, incase she was you know… naked.
“Hey,” She said and patted a spot on the bed next to her. She looks so right in James’ room you know? Like she was always meant to be there. I smiled, it was about time they were both solid figures in each others lives.
“Hi,” I said sitting on the edge of the bed, my mind wandering to this time last year. Well attempting to anyway - I drunk myself to near death. Trying to get over the heartbreak of not only having no family what-so-ever, but also not having the one girl that had ever mattered to me. And just think, whilst I was getting wasted and flirting with every female insight, Ade, my Ade, was raising my daughter. She was giving Summer her first ever Christmas.
And I wasn’t there.
“So, you going to tell me what’s on your mind?” Lil said quietly, as if she could sense the delicatness of the whole situation.
“I never thought I’d have another Christmas without her, you know?” I paused, not for any recognition that Lil was listening… of course she was. “Last year I don’t even remember Christmas, but Ade, she was giving Summer her first ever Christmas. And I wasn’t there. I was fucking some random girl in Muggle London.” the worst thing for me, I don’t even remember what colour hair that girl had. “she’s in my life… but not in my arms,” I stopped their, I couldn’t sound like a pansy. Not even to Lily….
“You can cry you know,” Lil said certainly, yet quietly as she slowly walked over to the vanity table that James had recently added to his room just for her - that’s love that is!- and started emptying out the contents of her what seemed to be make-up!
“I know, thanks Lil,” I told her softly, kissing her on the top of the head before going back down the stairs to the play room.
“NEOOWWW” Both James and Summer shouted loudly, James was pretending to be a muggle airplane and flying her around the room. Sum loved it. The thing with James is, I never know who’s enjoying it more, James or Summer. But then I join in, and I know I’m having the most fun!
“Boom! I just crashed into you,” I said running at James and Sum
“Oh no! we’re falling into the sea! SPLASH!” James said falling to the floor and throwing Summer onto the bean bag
“Daddy! You killed us and now Mr. Fluffykins won’t get to the wedding on time!” She pouted playfully,
“No! We will get Mr. Fluffykins to the wedding on time. Come on!” I shouted dramatically and snatching Summer and her bear off of the floor and flinging them onto my back securely.
“ZAP! Unky Jams, your all fixed now, I zapped you!” She said smartly telling James, even though now she could say both ‘Uncle’ and ‘James’ she preferred Unky Jams. James himself didn’t really mind that much- at breakfast he always seems to get more jam - everyone still thinks she wants jam not James! Silly fuckers.
From the door way, both mum and dad stood their and watched us play with my daughter - who undeniably has got both James and I wrapped around her little finger. I would dress up as a ballerina if she asked me to - lets not plant that idea in her head though yes? Please?
“Its remarkable isn’t it?” Dad said to mum, hoping that due to our ‘game’ we didn’t hear him. Bless dad though, he can’t tell volumes.
“It is indeed,” Mum replied, she has that same problem too - thankfully that gives us a big warning for when they’re trying to sneak up on us when Marauder planning was going through.
“She has got them wrapped so tightly around her little finger,” Dad mused, admittedly quieter than before
“And by the end of tonight she will have us, too,” Mum sighed happily.
“Are you sure your okay about this?” I asked Mum once again, just as I needed to hand Summer over, because we kinda need to leave now. I just feel mean, its not her responsibility. She’s mine.
“Of course its okay, we’re going to have a fun night aren’t we Summer?” mum said, truly turning on her Granny mode. Summer could be hyperactive at times, and I worry that maybe she will be too much for the couple.
Not to help matters at all, Summer had just decieded she didn’t want me to go. Her grip noticeably tightening around my neck. I soothed down her hair and placed her feet on the floor right inside the door. I looked straight into her beautiful eyes, that were identical to mine mind you, and smiled so softly that I could see some of her worried boundary fade away.
“Now Sum, Daddy’s going to be with Uncle James and Auntie Lils tonight. And when I get back your going to be safely tucked up in bed fast asleep; so I’ll see you in the morning okay? When Santa's been! You be a good girl for Nanny and Granddad Potter?” I told my little one, I noticed the beginning of tears starting to well up in her eyes. I kissed her forehead softly, and smiled at her again. “Okay?” I asked her again, making sure that she was okay with the situation.
“’Kay Daddy,” she practically whispered, her little hand rubbing the tears out of her eyes.
“You be good for Nanny and Granddad okay? I love you,” I told her, kissing her head once again
“’Kay, love you daddy,” She said again before turning into mums legs and keeping hold.
Quickly I turned to James and Lils, before I changed my mind and stayed at home instead of going to the party. Lils smiled sadly at me and James slapped my back in what I’m sure was supposed to me a comforting manner. Only it didn’t work - shocker.
Apparating to the party, I started to feel excited. Christmas Parties would only get wilder from now on - and hopefully I would have a reliable baby sitter every year until its completely uncool to go to them - I hated missing these parties. Thankfully, I was get to miss one. Remember one? Now that’s a different story.
Walking into the house in Hogsmede I starting grinning; the people here didn’t care about blood status or any of the shit involved in the ongoing war, they don’t care about what grades your getting in Hogwarts, hell they don’t care if your even they’re, and they don’t care if you’ve got a baby waiting at home for you.
What do they care about? I hear you so naively ask.
If your good-looking then it is guaranteed that this will be a good party for you to be at; why do you think I never miss a year? James claps me on the back happily before skipping off into the sunlight with Lil.
Okay, maybe I did just over exagerate a little bit. But that’s what seemed to happen. Everything kind of when numb for me, James an Lil got to skip off into the sunset - rather than be eaten by a Black Hole, which was what happeneing to everyone else at the party.
Because standing there, snuggly wrapped up into a random MUGGLE’S arm: with a bright smile and radiant glowing hair : was the girl I was trying to get over. Adriana Bells.
I starred at the back of her head, knowing 100% that I was her, with her luscious curves and her beautiful long legs that everyone in Hogwarts lusted over, and her long choclate hair that seems to have grown about an inch since last time I paid attention… she looked beautiful. But she’d brought a Muggle to a Wizarding party - not even that one she introduced to me in summer. Remember? The one who got her mate pregnant or something? Well, its not him. Its someone different. That means that she’s spilled the secret, that means that her and that bloke are serious.
I could litterally feel my heart break into pieces all over again.
But it shouldn’t.
We broke up.
I want her to be happy. And that sneaky little bastard was obviously making her happy. I haven’t seen a smile on her face in a long time, I’ve missed it.
Starting towards her - the whole world spinning back into place now - I felt James’ hand reach out to grab me,
“Don’t start nothing mate, she’ll never forgive you,” He told me softly, I knew he was right and I honestly wasn’t going to. I just think I should be introduced to the lad who would be spending the holiday period with my daughter.
“I’m not going to, Ade’s happy. I’ve only ever wanted her happy,” I told him, and I felt Lily squeeze my elbow comfortingly, I think she’s proud of me. I hope she is.
“Okay,” James simply replied and let go off me, allowing me to walk on back in the direction I was heading in.
Seeing them close up, his arm wrapped around her waist comfortably, protectively, her hand lingering on his chest softly, lovingly. Surprisingly enough, a smile formed on my lips. She was happy.
“Ade,” I said, not rudely, not annoyed, not even calm. I just said.
“Oh my Merlin, Sirius! I didn’t think I’d see you tonight! How’s Sum?” She asked, completely withdrawing herself away from her friend - I’m thankful for that, I may be happy for her but it still hurts. A hell of a lot.
“I can’t miss the Christmas Eve party! She’s completely better now, she had me an James playing airplanes with her before, Lil thought it was hilarious!” I paused, remembering the amused glances Lil was giving us earlier on in the day “She’s with Mum and Dad now, she promised her daddy she’d be a good girl and sleep, waiting for Santa to come,” I grinned. Tomorrow would be amazing for Summer. She’s getting more spoiled than usual.
“Good,” She smiled softly at me, “Er, this is Kyle Roberts, he’s my friend,” Ade paused, emphasizing friend. course he was though - no single bloke can be friends with Adriana Bells. It just couldn’t be done, she’s too… appetizing. “I promise Sirius that’s all he is,” she added on the end, taking a step towards me.
I took a step before answering, “Good to meet you mate, I best be off… need to get drunk!” I told them before turning around and walking to the bar where James, Lily and Josa were sat. James already pouring me a double.
“Proud of you there Sirius, I thought that you were gunna kick off on that bloke doing the business with Adey,” Josa said knowingly, I just ignored her. She was one of those drunks that made no sense at all.
“Seriously though Sirius, well done,” Lil said petting my cheek before pulling Josa up to dance with her.
I felt the alcohol affect my system. I felt my eyesight waver slightly. I felt my balance slowly deteriorate. But I didn’t mind. I couldn’t feel any of the pain in my body, none of the unconventional heartache, or the dull pain of seeing Ade with that bloke. The burning Firewhiskey left a burn in my throat stronger than any of that, and it made me happy. I didn’t have to think about anything, I don’t have to fee anything.
I started dancing with the music, letting it take over the control of my body. I was moving my hands, moving my body just when another beautiful body came in front of me. Grabbing my hands forcefully and forcing me to look into the beautiful brown eyes that always capture my attention,
“Sirius, don’t you think you’ve had enough!?” she asked, her voice not angry - just worried. It broke my heart all over again. How can she care about me? I’m worthless. The one girl I love even thinks so. She left me for that muggle over there. Why isn’t she their with him now
“Where’s your boyfriend?” I asked, not nastily. Just wondering.
“Don’t do this,” She pleas, I turn back to the drinks table; the pain already returning. Scorching my whole body once more… hopefully the Firewhikey will get rid of the pain… even if it is only momentarily.
The pain has been replaced by an entirely different type of pain. My head thumping. My heart pounding. My body moving with the movement of the music. Forgetting about everything that has ever caused pain to me. Forgetting about my family. Forgetting about Adriana. Forgetting about the near death experience of my daughter. Forgetting how Adriana showed up with another bloke. I was forgetting all of this.
I felt a small pair of hips grind into mine; I groaned and moved my hands to run over her curves. Beautiful rounded hips with a small little waist. The rhythm of her dancing showed that she wasn’t a stranger to these parties. It showed that she, like me, knew how to get exactly what she wanted. And tonight… she wanted me.
“Tonight lets forget what house we’re in,” Her voice whispered into my ear. I recognised it, but I couldn’t place it. She must know me though, she recognises me. And that’s all that I need.
“Lets forget,” I added and kissed down her neck as she led me into the back room.
The back room where I forgot everything.
“Dadddy! Santa’s been!” Summer enthusiastically jumped up nd down on my bed, waking me from the zombie like slumber that I was enjoying! I groaned and clutched my head, the thumping had got a lot worse - it was now like a whole band was playing in my head. I wanted to tell her to go and get more sleep but the look of such glee and hopefulness stopped me. She was so excited,
“Come on then, lets go wake up Nana, Granddad, Unky James and Auntie Lils,” I threw her over my shoulder and ran into James’ room tickling her feet! Just so she would scream and wake up the other two whom are going to be hungover as well! Only I didn’t think that through enough, as it was killling me as well.
“Summm!” Lily groaned attempting to bury her head back into James’ bare chest. I hope they have clothes on under there, that so wouldn’t be a good message to my young impressionable daughter.
“UKY JAMS NAKEY!” Summer shouts out in shock, her eyes wide and pointing at James’ bare chest as all three of us wince at the noise which is causing the band in my head to encore louder.
“JAMES HAROLD POTTER! YOU BEST HAVE SOME CLOTHES ON MISTER!?” Mum screamed from down the hall, he hot up in bed as Sum and I struggled to hide our laughter at the panicked look on his face. Lily just groans,
“James we have clothes on!” she wails unhappy to be awoken at the time in the morning,
“Oh yeah,” He mutters to himself, before jumping out of bed anyway, whisking Summer into his arms!
“Has Santa been!” he asks excitedly,
“YES!” Summer shouts, James momentarily winces before running down the stairs with her,
“Sirius, do you ever get the feeling that we’re both parents?” Lil laughs before getting out of bed and wondering downstairs with me.
Dropping Summer off was going to be hard, like the best friends that they are James and Lil are coming to; they keep saying its because they want to say bye to Summer properly and they want to see Adriana - but I heard them talking about giving me the moral support that I need. Of course I will never admit it and if its ever said - I will deny it - but I want them they’re. I want them they’re support, so that I don’t break down on the way home.
Adriana - who I’m now referring to her as, hopefully it’ll get me over her quicker - is living with that Cat and Jamie who she went to see in October, so a muggle house in a muggle neighbourhood. Meaning we have to get their with Muggle means, you know in case anyone see’s us apparate near by - and the application to connect the house to the Floo Network was denied; to high risk of attack. I understand they’re point, especially with Summer around and me being a ‘Black’ and James being a ‘Potter’ and both of us known ‘blood traitors’ the risk is heightened even more. Anyway, mum and dad called a taxi for us! Like a car. A moving machine. And an expensive on at that! But that might be because its Christmas and they don’t really want to work, hmm that’ll probably explain the price.
It was a strange experience actually, one that I never want to be apart of again. The windows kind of shook when we stopped. It was strange. Thankfully it got me to stop thinking about giving my daughter to her mother. We were standing outside the door, Summer bopping in my arms excited to see her mum after so long. My heart was pounding in anticipation, was she going to bring up last night?
“Summer!” she answered the door excitedly,
“Mummy!” Summer shouted back, launching herself into her arms. I smiled - the two girls I love.
James smacked my back comfortingly,
“Lil, James,” She said giving them both a one-armed hug. Completely ignoring me, “Come in,” still not acknowledging my presence.
We walked into the house, in comparison to the Potter Mansion there was not much room at all - but it was just a homely and Christmassy. Everyone in the room looked up at our entrance and welcomed Summer back with big hugs and sloppy kisses. I smirked as she wiped each kiss off of her face - she never did that with our kisses.]
“You remember Ky don’t you Sum?” Adriana asked, sceptically sitting on his knee.
“Ky, mumas boy fwend!” Summer smiled and jumped into his arms aswell, wow. They know each other.
“You can talk Sum!?” Ky said with false questioning in his voice, Summer giggled and cuddled up to him.
That broke my heart more than seeing him and Adriana together last night,
“Alright mate,” Kyle said to me, I smiled
“Alright. Good night?” I asked him, keeping up polite conversation so that Lily would be proud of me and give me a cookie before dinner tonight.
“Yeah thanks, we saw that you did,” He smirked and winked at me congratulated. I smirked - he was an okay bloke.
“Yeah, Daddy had a good night with Jamie Button didn’t he,” Adriana said, but she made it seem like she was talking to Summer. Sum just looked scared again.
“I was with Jamie Button?” I asked her, keeping my voice low so that Summer wouldn’t become even more frightened.
“AT THE PARTY! YOU SCREWED JAMIE BUTTON!” Adriana lept up and screamed in my face. The new baby in the corner started to wail and Sum came over to James and shrunk herself into him.
“Ade,” Lily and a girl around the tree sighed
"And you can honestly say you haven’t screwed him,” I nodded towards Kyle who actually did look a bit ashamed.
“Its none of your business who I sleep with,” she had the nerve to tell me. I laughed one single humourless laugh.
“And its your business who I sleep with?” I asked her, for a moment she was stump.
“Just don’t get someone else pregnant,” She snarled at me, I smirked widely.
“Just don’t get pregnant love,”
I said the goodbyes to everyone, apolgised and kissed Summer and left.
Well that could have gone worse.
Well that could have gone better.
Authors Note: hey, quicker update this time! this is more of a filler chapter, but it shows how Sirius is starting to move on with the whole break-up thing. do you like that they've broken up? or do i put them back together? i havent deiced if im going to keep them apart. what do you think of Kyle being back in Ades life. good? bad? or Jamie Button? should she become a bigger part of Sirius' life? the next chapter is going to go back to Adriana so that we can get a bit of more of Kyle in the story. and i just want to add, thank you so much who have reveiwed, read and favourited this story - it makes me happy to know that someone actually likes what i write. if you've got any tips or hints or suggestions of what else can go to this story please please please review and let me know. thank you!
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