Chapter 12 : Hush little baby
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Chapter Twelve: Hush little baby.
My childhood before the age of eleven is something I had little of memory off. My life as I knew it up until that moment, in which my whole existence was thrown into upheaval, had begun the day I got my Hogwarts letter. In between striving to be the most brilliant witch of my age and surviving a war against Voldemort; I never realized how little into account I took my parents as far as my life decisions where concerned. Sure I was a muggle born, but above that I was a witch. Faced with everyday tasks such as cleaning dishes and even turning on the lights, I always reached for my wand instead of taking the few extra minutes or even seconds to do it the muggle way.
This was a fact I had never questioned and it was also one of the large reasons of why I became so close to Mrs. Weasley, she understood aspects of my magical life that my mother, no matter how much she tried, would never be able to understand.
I ran to her for every day house hold tips and magical solutions to female concerned matters. My mother I visited on the holidays and sometimes not even that. As I realized this, guilt pooled smolderingly bitter at the bottom of my stomach, but in this moment I had nowhere else to run and to be honest there was no one else I’d rather see, even if there was someone willing to hear me out without going mad.
With shaking fingers I rang the doorbell, my mind turning helplessly back to Healers Steele’s words:
“I would say you’re not more than four or five weeks along, but you do seem to be severely dehydrated which is worrying, pregnancy can be a difficult affair for some women both physically and magically speaking.” Her tone was serious and her eyes penetrating as she continued.
“I can see by your reaction that this is not something you were expecting, you are going to have to make a decision Ms. Granger, but for now I’ll give you a few potions to help with the nausea and to control the dehydration. If you decide to keep the baby I’d like to see you next week for a follow up, if you don’t, well it must be done as soon as possible, for your sake.”
Her words still whirled around my mind, but I was still nowhere near to reaching a decision.
“Hermione?” My eyes snapped up as the door opened and my mother appeared, “ Honey what are you doing here, come in.” She pulled me into the house, wrapping me in a warm hug as she closed the door behind me, I held on to her, the sweet lavender scent I had always associated with my mother wrapping around me as I held on to her, desperately wanting to turn back time, wanting more than anything else to be her little girl once more.
“Hermione what’s wrong?” my mother asked worriedly as I began to sob, I couldn’t control myself the tears poured and the sobs pounded pitilessly against my chest.
Everything was such a mess and hard as I tried I could find no easy way out, the solution wasn’t as simple as cutting the problems out of my life, like I had thought only this morning.
Not anymore at least.
It broke my heart into a thousand pieces just thinking about everything that was at stake, of all the people I was going to hurt and the hearts that would be destroyed.
Gently my mother led me to the sitting room couch, where she sat with me gently rubbing my back as she whispered fragments of forgotten lullabies, eventually the torrent of tears died down and the sobs dwindled down into soft hiccups.
“ I’ll go get us some tea, shall I?” My mother asked once she made sure I was going to be fine, without waiting for an answer she left for the kitchen giving me a few minutes to compose myself. Needing to feel some fresh air I moved towards the closed window throwing it open and sighing as I felt a cool breeze caress my raw cheeks.
A few tears still managed to slip from my eyes and wiping them away I turned towards the fireplace my attention caught by the array of framed and still photographs covering the mantel.
Photos of my parents and me on vacation, on holidays, me graduating, even an old snapshot of Harry, Ron and I in our first year, picking this last one up I stared at the picture a painful longing pulling at my heart, so lost was I in my thoughts of those long ago days, that I didn’t hear my mother returning to the room and moving to stand behind me.
“Sometimes it seems like only yesterday, you were running around this house with your Hogwarts letter clutched in one hand asking us over and over again to pinch you just to make sure you weren’t dreaming.” My mother laughed startling me from my reverie.
I placed the picture onto the mantel once more and followed her towards the couch, watching anxiously as she poured me a cup of tea.
“Mum, I’m pregnant.” I blurted out, I hadn’t planned to but I suddenly couldn’t keep it in any longer, it was burning me from inside, fighting against my better judgment to get out.
My mother just stared at me, shock evident in her face as she placed the teapot onto the table once more. I could see her struggling for the right words to say, I had caught her off guard I knew but once those first words were out, I could no longer keep the rest in.
With tears racing down my face once more, I recounted everything to her even going as far back as explaining the whole sixth year ordeal. I did all this without making eye contact with her, I knew and I didn’t want to have to see it, her disappointment. I had let my emotions get the better of me more than once, I had jeopardized not only my relationship but my career and I wasn’t sure if my mother would be able to forgive that.
That was mainly the reason why I was so surprised to feel her arms wrapping tightly around me as I spluttered into silence.
“I’m such a terrible person mum, I-I’m so sorry.”
“Hush, hush darling…” she whispered gently, her soft fingers raising my chin so that I was staring at her, her thumb softly wiping away the tears that ran silently down my face.
“Now you listen to me Hermione, you are a brilliant woman and I’m not just saying this because I’m your mother, I truly believe it. But you have to understand that making mistakes does not make you weaker or stupid. It makes you human. You screwed up, in a big way and you’ll have to come to terms with the fact that you hurt and are going to hurt even more a lot of the people who are close to you, Ron and Harry for one. But right now in this very instant there is only one thing that should worry you and that is that you’re going to be a mother. You have to make a decision, are you ready to handle a baby, to face Ron and his family. As well as this man, Draco or will you take the easy way out?” at this my gazed dropped ashamed, but my mother made me stare at her once more.
“You don’t have to give me an answer right now, sleep on it, think about it, but know that no matter what choice you make, I’ll be here for you, I might not have magical powers but I would move heaven and earth for you.” Her voice was firm and sincere, tears bright in her eyes as she wrapped me in another tight hug.
“I love you mum.” The only words I could find and I knew that in that moment no other words needed to be said.
I spent the rest of the day with my parents and my mother decided that it was best if she explained everything to my father after I left. I knew that his response would be no different than my mothers had been.
“Here sweetie, I want you to take this, it’s not going to make you’re decision any easier, but I think that you should have it anyway.” My mother said handing me a plain brown box, I tried to look inside but my mother stopped me suggesting I wait until I got home, taking it I gave both my parents one last hug and apparated back to my flat, my mind still whirling with the events of the last few days, but after my mother’s words I felt a lot calmer than I had that morning.
Once at my flat I dropped the box on my bed as I prepared the tub for a much needed bath, letting the sound of rushing water fill the empty silence of my flat, I sat down my eyes running hesitantly over the plainness of the cardboard box. Taking a deep breath I lifted the lid, my breath catching in my throat as I gazed at the contents, I felt a strange pain pierced my chest as I reached in with trembling hands, a pair of pink, hand-knitted booties stared up at me from between layers of tissue paper, I know that they were from when I was a born, for I had seen them before in pictures. But seeing them now, in this moment all I could think about was how tiny and perfect they were, I hadn’t even realized I was crying until a tear fell from the tip of my nose and into the soft wool of the booties.
Suddenly even though my life was a confusing and unsettling mess, I knew, almost instinctually that I’d get through it, somehow I’d find a way.
A/N: okay guys one more chapter! XD YAy! Okay so sorry to keep you guys waiting but it's back to school and with all the reading and writting they have me do there, sometimes it takes the fun out of what I love, but do not worry I promise to put my best effort into finishing up this story up. Okay so on the chapter I really really wanted Hermione to have this moment with her mom, since I began the story but I'm just not too happy with the way this chapter turned out so I'd love your feedback on it n_n. Thank so much for reading and don't forget to review.
P.S: Thank you so much to my beta Amber for her hard work and speedy replies. You're the best XD.
P.P.S: If any of you guys has read my story Unexpected Madness, just to let you know I added a second part to it if you'd like to check it out and tell me what you think. Okay that's it I promise and thank you again you guys are great n_n
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