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Oh, Mushroom! by WentToManderleyAgain
Chapter 3 : Chapter 3: The Tapestry
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 2

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Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. I do not the movie/musical "How To Succeed in Business Without Really Trying." (this chapter is stuffed with these references.) Basically, anything you recognize. I do own Elizabeth Moore, Ashley Edwards, Katie Winters, and Leslie White.




"First year?"

"I can't believe you've never told us!"

"Jeez, Elizabeth."


"At least she has the decency to look sheepish."

I blushed, and gained an interest in my blue and bronze bed covers. Humming the tune of "Rosemary," I fiddled with the corner of the bed sheet.

"Earth to Elizabeth." Leslie snapped in my face. This was one of the nights were Leslie slept over at our dorm. "Ah, there she is." she smiled, and leaned back against my bed post.

With a small smile, I observed my three friends.

Leslie looked like that all-American girl, even though she was German. She had her long, light blond hair pulled into a bun on the back of her head. One price fell out, following the stitching of her soft yellow tank top. Her dark blue eyes sparkled with joy. Her slightly upturned nose had a sprinkling of freckles and black rectangular glasses resting upon it. The left corner of her lip was upturned slightly. Her black pajama pants clad legs were splayed off the end of my bed.

Katie was sitting "Indian style" next to me. Her hair was in a short, dark brown bob. She has beautiful, bronze skin and light brown eyes the color of cookie dough, slightly crunched up from her wide smile. Her blue sweater was sliding just slightly off her right shoulder.

Ashley was a knock out. She often made me feel so insignificant. She had amazing, wavy long dirty blonde hair. Her lips always seemed to be upturned in a smirk. She had large emerald eyes, with long, thick lashes. True, she had to put mascara on daily because of her blonde eyelashes, but her eyes still stood out. A bit of her hair fell into her eyes, but she didn't notice. Not only was her face beautiful, but she had an amazing, curvy body too. It was no wonder why Sirius was going to Hogsmeade with her.

"Anyway, Elizabeth, what are you going to do about your one and true love?" Katie giggled.

I raised my eyebrows. "I'd hardly call him that."

"Of course you wouldn't. You're Elizabeth. But that doesn't mean you should just sit around waiting." Ashley pointed out.

"What do you suggest? I go up to him and snog the daylights out of him?" I said sarcastically. "No! He probably already thinks I'm crazy!"

"Well, you kind of are." Leslie said, clearly trying to say it as delicately as possible."


"What! You know you agree!"

"It's alright." I said. "I am."

"Enough with the arguing about insanity. We all know none of us can hope to get rid of it. Onto the topic." Ashley narrowed her eyes and held up her hands.

"Well, if she does do something, she should start small... We all know Elizabeth has problems with... Well, speaking."

"That's true. Maybe she should just start with not stuttering or being overly nice?" Ashley asked.

Leslie nods. "She has to regain composure around him."

"Yeah, have you seen her?" Katie snorted. "She's a bumbling mess."

Don't I just have such great friends?


Sometimes I hate Leslie.

She has decided it is her mission this year to make me talk to Remus all. The. Time. It's crazy! Why me? And why does Leslie appear to have a Remus-dar? Because no normal person can have me run into him this many times.

"Oh, hey Remus!" Leslie cried. I really should stop hanging out with that girl.

"Hello, Leslie, Elizabeth."

Merlin, he probably has a thing for her, now. Who wouldn't? She's gorgeous, and nice. And now I'm being insecure. Great. Thanks, Remus Lupin, for turning me into a teenage girl.

"Er, hi." cue blushing. I hate him.

"Oh, look at the time! Gotta go!" Leslie smirked, and skipped off to the Hufflepuff common room.

"Awkward..." I mumbled under my breath.

He smiled. "I've been looking for you." Really? "The Head Boy asked me to tell you that we have patrols together next week." Oh. Oh, wait. Patrols. With Remus Lupin. Merlin really must hate me.

"Okay." yes, I am indeed an intelligent person. I forgive you for not realizing this, yet.


"Anything else?"


"Well, then I should go." I walked away slowly, hoping that maybe Remus would stop me and say something. No luck.


Later that day, Leslie was on the Remus hunt, and dragging me along with her.

"Suddenly there is music, at the sound of your name!" I sang goofily. One of my favorite musicals is "How to Succeed in Business without Really Trying," and Rosemary was my favorite song.

"Oh, shut up, Lizzie." Leslie laughed.

"What?" I asked confused, when suddenly I heard a voice behind a tapestry. "What the mushroom is that?" I hissed at Leslie.

Leslie quirked an eyebrow. "I have no clue." She whispered back. I strained my ears to hear what the males were saying.

"You're saying you don't like her?" voice one said. Let's call him Gary.

"No, I'm not saying that." Voice two said. Let's call him J. Pierrepont Finch. Don't judge me. I have that musical on the brain, okay?

"Then what are you saying?" Gary asked.

"I-I don't know. I do like her. Just not like that." J. Pierrepont Finch responded.

Gary sighed. "What do you think about her, then?"

"I think she's pretty."

"You think she's pretty?" Gary asked, his voice incredulous.

"What, you don't?" J. Pierrepont Finch seemed surprised.

"Of course I think Lizzie's pretty. But you know, that girl Ashley, she's gorgeous." Huh? Are they talking about me and Ash?

No response from J. Pierrepont Finch.

"Anyway, we have to go. Dinner is soon." Gary suddenly said.

"Shoot!" I hissed. "Go, go, go!"

Leslie and I started running away as quietly as we could.


"Oh, mushroom!" I shrieked, falling to the floor.

"Oh, hi, Remus." Leslie said sweetly. Of course she didn't fall. Stupid balanced people. Why is it always the short kids who fall all the time?

I looked up. "Hi."

He chuckled. "Hi. On your way to dinner, I suppose? You really must be hungry to be running that fast."

"Oh, um, I g-guess." I hesitated. Apparently, we were running in the direction of the Great Hall. I guess you really should pay attention to where you're going.

Remus smiled kindly. "Sirius also gets very hungry." Did he just compare me to Sirius? Oh my Merlin, he did! Who does that? Who compares girls to their best mates? Now it's obvious he isn't into me. Oh. Where did Remus go?

"Lizzie?" Leslie waved a hand in front of my face. "You in there?"

"What happened?" I asked, looking up at her.

Leslie snorted. "You went all Lizzie on us, and stopped responding. I was considering taking you to the hospital wing."

I blushed. "Oops. Does he think I'm crazy now?"

Leslie sighed condescendingly. "Oh, Elizabeth, darling, he already thought you were crazy. This just . . . Confirmed it."

"Thanks, Leslie." I said sarcastically.


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