I sit here, watching you watching me, with your radiant eyes that sparkle as the sun dances across them. The corners of your lips turn up in a smile and your eyes flirt with my own. My heart inflates as you give me that look which I want to dream is reserved just for me. But then your friends laugh and your attention is diverted, the moment lost. So I turn away, back to my book, trying to forget the look and the smile, trying so hard to convince myself that it is best that nothing ever happens and we remain just friends. But the heart doesn’t always obey and it continues to be drawn to you and all the impossibilities of my dreams.
I wonder if you know what it is that you do to me. How every look or cheeky smile sets my heart beat racing and makes my cheeks warm with a slight pinkish blush. I tried to deny my feelings for so long, but yet I craved your company. You were always such a gentleman, greeting me with your smile and some comment that showed a genuine interest in how I was. In my first few years at Hogwarts, you were just the friend of my cousin, but as we grew older you became my friend as well.
I can tell you the exact moment you broke me. It was in sixth year when we were working on a potions essay in the library. You had been looking for a book when I called you over to look at what I had found. I heard your footsteps approaching from behind and expected you to come up beside me. But you didn't. Instead an arm reached either side of me and leant upon the table. You were directly behind me, so close to wrapping your arms around me yet so far away. My heart began to pound and a blush rose upon my checks and I was glad that you couldn't see my face. My mind went completely blank for a split second as I breathed in your scent and felt the warmth radiating from you.
I tried my hardest to concentrate on discussing the potion at hand and to hide all the cliched sensations of love that were flooding my system. I turned to you and smiled, my problem sorted, and you winked at me before walking away to what ever you had been doing. I held my head in my hands as soon as you were gone, feeling sweet giddiness washing over me. That was it, no turning back now. I had snapped like a dry fragile twig and I knew without a doubt that I had a crush on you. It took me several minutes to bring my heart rate back to normal and feel the blush subside from my cheeks.
In some ways it is a relief to not be fighting my own emotions any more. You have always joked that no girl can resist you, and man have I tried hard to not be like every other girl. But with your charm and good looks, it was inevitable that I would fall. And so as I sit here admiring you from a distance, I will proudly admit, the I, Rose Weasley have a crush on Scorpius Malfoy. I have for over a year now.
I wonder if you know. Surely you must. With your charismatic personality, you have always been such a charmer of the girls, yet strangely enough, you have yet to commit to a relationship. I have always been quite shy, but when you flirt with me, I flirt straight back without hesitation. The thing is though, that when I'm flirting with you, there is truth behind my cheeky comments that I hide, hidden behind the mask of mockery. But I'm never sure about you. You have always been such a joker, it is hard to know what is the truth and what is just humour. I can't read you Scropius. I never have been able to.
The day is coming to a close and the warmth is quickly disappearing with the sun. I cast you one last look as you sit there laughing with Albus and Fred, and I slowly start my walk back to the Gryffindor Common Room.
That night, I sit reading in front of the fire as Albus and you hurriedly finish your transfiguration essays. It is half past ten when you lean back with your arms above your head and proclaim that you’re finished. I run through the checklist of essays that are due the next day and I see your face fall as I ask about your charms essay.
Normally in situations like this I would help out. It's not often you completely forget about essays, in fact, you are pretty good with keeping on top of your homework given all of your quidditch practices as well. But in this case, I couldn't just hand over my essay for you to reword. And neither could Albus. We had all been given a separate charm to write about and I didn't know more than a paragraph about your charm.
“What am I going to do?” you exclaimed pitifully, holding your head in his hands, “It's after curfew.”
“But we do have the map,” Albus suggested helpfully. “You'll be able to get to the Library safely, get what you need and get back.”
“Al, you're a life saver!” you beam. Then you turn to me.
“Come with me Rose.”
“What?” I ask shocked. “Me? Break curfew?” I couldn’t believe what I was being asked to do. Normally I would do anything that you ask of me, but you have never asked me to break rules before.
“You know the library inside and out. It'll be much faster with the two of us. Besides, there is nothing quite so liberating as a little rule breaking every now and then.”
You did have a good argument, not to mention it would mean that you and I would be alone in the deserted castle at night. And we did have the map. It was definitely tempting, so going against all better judgment I relent to those pleading eyes that I couldn’t refuse.
“Okay,” I agree, slightly apprehensive but also elated at the late night excursion. What could possibly go wrong?
We tiptoe the corridors, safely reaching the library without incident. We locate a couple of text books without too much hassle and quickly and quietly make our get away. You are right, breaking rules was liberating. I have always been such a good girl and I couldn't stop smiling stupidly as for the first time, I stopped being such a stickler for the rules.
We are nearly safely back when the sight of Peeves floating through the ceiling catches us completely by surprise. He looks at us gleefully and quickly shoots away. I have no doubt that he is going to find Filch. I turn to you and our eyes meet, communicating only one thought. Run.
Most people would not be smiling as they sprint head long down the corridor to try and reach their common room before Filch caught them out of bed, but I couldn't help myself. The whole experience is so exhilarating that I'm giddy with the adrenalin pumping through me. We turn the last corner, I think that we will get away with it, but the feeling is short lived as Mrs Norris appears in front of us, evil eyes piecing the gloom. We both abruptly turn on the spot, only to see Filch coming up the rear. We are trapped. Game over. But strangely I'm not upset or worried about tarnishing my unblemished record. No, I am still smiling as I pant slightly and my heart beats hard against my chest, enthralled by our almost escape. I look at you and your eyes also dance with excitement as we await our punishment.
And what a punishment it is. It's Saturday morning and we meet Hagrid by his hut for our detention. I thought that serving my detention under Hagrid wouldn't be too bad, but with his penchant for monsters, and his age slowly creeping up on him, I shouldn't have been surprised at the particularly nasty task that he had lined up for us.
You and I stand beside the fence surrounding the large paddock that houses the blast ended skrewts. Why Hagrid is determined to keep these beasts, I will never know. For some reason, known only to Hagrid himself, he wants to weigh and measure each of the little devils, but first he needs them rounded up into a smaller pen. Bring in us, the little rule breakers. This is not going to be fun.
It is a miserable day, interspersed with scrawly showers that brought with them howling winds and icy rain. Hagrid, after giving us our task, promptly leaves us to it. We share a look that conveys utter misery, then we climb the fence and face our foe.
Immediately upon setting our feet down, the twenty blast ended skrewts are alerted to our presence and start to charge at us. We both run in fear of our lives and dodge the skrewts that come at us from all directions. Puffing and exhausted, we continue running until the skrewts, bored or exhausted themselves, end the chase.
“That’s the last time I’m ever going to let you convince me to break rules,” I pant as I gasp for air.
“It’s enough to stop me ever breaking rules again too,” you concede, also gasping for breath. “So…you aced Care of Magical Creatures, how do we deal with these things?”
I roll my eyes and shake my head. “What will you do without me Scorpius?” I tease.
“Face death by blast ended skrewt,” you offer.
“Now we can’t have that, can we?” I joke in mock seriousness. “But because I do actually want to go to bed tonight, we need to corner them one at a time and stun them. Their weak point is the underside of their body. Sometimes one spell isn’t enough, but two should do it. Them we can levitate them to the smaller enclosure.
“You’re a genius Rose,” you beam.
“No, I just listen in class,” I tell you seriously.
The theory proves much simpler than the execution. After many failed attempts and many close shaves from stings and burns, we finally manage to master the technique of cornering one without scaring it away. We both aim and whisper the incantation. Sparks fly from our wands and hit the skrewt dead on, rendering the hideous beast incapacitated. Rejoicing in our small victory, I levitate the monster to the small enclosure and then I eye up the next one.
We have two to go. We have been at it for hours, I am tired and hungry, we have missed lunch and dark grey clouds are starting to roll in. The temperature has dropped and I shiver, my fingers like ice in the late Autumn air. We have been lucky so far, but I can sense the change coming and can practically hear the patter of raindrops approaching. And then it hits.
The rain comes down in an icy sheet, blown nearly horizontal by the force of the wind. You, never being one to feel the cold, haven’t brought a coat and your hand wraps around my arm as you pull me towards you and make me your shield against the rain. My heart leaps as you pull me close; the detention suddenly doesn't seem quite so bad. I hold my oversized coat wide, protecting you as much as I can as you kneel down behind my legs.
Your head lies against my stomach and I look down on you, crouched there, laughing hysterically to yourself. As if the day couldn’t get any worse, we are now huddled in the middle of a muddy enclosure filled with blast ended skrewts, miles from shelter with the rain pelting into us and only one coat to keep us dry. I can’t help myself, I laugh hysterically with you, finding the funny side of our predicament.
My hands are numb from cold and the back of my pants are soaked through, yet my stomach is warm where you lean against me.
“Are you okay?” I ask your pitiful figure, moaning softly to yourself. I'm wrapped up in several layers. You have on only a light jersey and long pants.
“Yes,” you groan, “as long as I’m dry, I’ll warm up pretty fast.” You pause for a fraction of a second, and I know something isn't right. “But my backs all wet.”
I look down and notice your back is soaked through as rain runs from my rain coat and straight onto your back. I kneel beside you, wrapping jacket right around your back, my arm now across your shoulders. This is the closest I’ve ever been to you as we sit here, cold and miserable, just looking at each other as the water droplets continue to fall.
I realize there are a zillion spells to use to keep us dry but I throw the thoughts away. This moment is nearly too perfect to ruin with common sense. I place my freezing fingers upon your cheek as a shiver runs through me, spawned from cold and our close proximity. I take my hand away as you place your hand against my cheek, cupping my face tenderly. I lean against it, the warmth seeping through my skin. Our eyes meet and hold. I look at you, trying to convey how much I care for you and how much I just want to stay this close to you forever.
"Give me your hand,” you command gently taking your hand away. My cheek still feels warm, my skin tingling at your now distant touch. I hold out my hand to you and you take it in yours, rubbing it gently. The cold immediately starts to disappear and is replaced by warmth, warmth that is generated by you.
"Better?” you ask and I nod, my eyes still resting upon my hand in yours.
"It’s stopped raining,” you whisper quietly.
"That is has,” I reply, noticing for the first time. I don't want to move, don't want the moment to end. But I can’t stay in the world of blissful serenity forever. I still have my arm wrapped around you and reluctantly I pull it away. You start to stand and I stand with you, my hand still in yours. You look at me and I look back, not caring about anything else but you and me and the moment.
You lean forward and instinctively I do the same. My thoughts are blank my mind clear as my lips meet yours for the first time. My heart races and it crosses my mind that maybe I am dreaming. But I can feel your warmth and the winds chill. I can feel my pulse thumping and I know this isn’t a dream. It’s happening.
I’m tentative at first and so are you, but I quickly relax as your strong arms encircle my waist and we deepen the kiss. The world fades to the background of my mind as every sensation is taken over by you.
I break the kiss, needing to make sure that this is real and that it is you that I just kissed. The world returns to focus, the grass, the rain, the skrewts, the mud, and I am suddenly overcome with hysterical laughter. I pull away from you as I giggle uncontrollably. I see your face, looking at me in shock and it sends me into another fit of chuckles.
I admit that cracking up with laughter is not the most appropriate behaviour after a first kiss. I take a few deep breaths to calm myself and look back at you, the same shocked expression still on your face.
"Do you know how long I have wanted to kiss you?” I ask. You shake your head and I continue on. “And now my dream finally comes true and here I am, in my ugliest clothes, dirty, cold and wet in a muddy paddock full of blast ended skrewts and it is now, of all times, that you, Scorpius Malfoy, choose to kiss me for the first time.”
"And here I was thinking that you’re laughing at my kissing skills,” you joke, visibly relaxing, a sweet smile crossing your face. “I guess you’ll always remember it though. And it means that every other kiss we have can only be better.”
"There’s going to be more?” I ask cheekily, a glint in my eye.
"You bet,” you reply, sweeping me into your arms again.
I don’t resist as you kiss me once more. I'm sure that all the stolen glances, the cheeky smiles and flirtatious comments were reserved just for me. All those times when I sat there, watching you watching me, you were probably doing the same thing as I was, sitting there watching me watching you, and wondering if there was anything more behind the looks and smiles. Well, I assure you Scorpius Malfoy, there was so much behind those looks. You broke me a long time ago. The only question now is, when did I break you?
A/N: This was my first attempt at writing a first person story and something in the present tense. It definitely took a different mind set. Thanks ver much to Giola for being my beta reader. If you have any comments or suggestions, please leave a review. I really hope you enjoyed it.
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