Chapter 1 : Chapter 1
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Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine, they belong to JK Rowling.
“You’re late,” the woman said, turning around slowly. Her dark auburn hair was in loose curls, framing her face and then proceeding to cascade down her back in perfect waves. Her face was harsh in its expression and yet startlingly beautiful, its features ideal in every way. The woman had all the beauty of a young girl but with eyes that knew past their short years, as if she had lived through more than her share of pain and sorrow but also love and joy. She wore a simple black top and faded jeans underneath, comfortable and yet gorgeous at the same time. She sat on a chair in this man’s bedroom, hugging her body with her head resting on her knees. Like a small child who had lost her favorite teddy, she looked forlorn and broken but the man didn’t notice.
“I’m sorry, love,” the man replied, giving her an apologetic look. His hair was tousled, dark brown curls. His face had a childish aura about it, as if he hadn’t a care in the world. They were compelling, his boyish looks; it drew her to him. His eyes glimmered with love for the flawless woman who sat waiting for him. His collared shirt was tucked in messily at some parts and hung loosely at others from his dark slacks. He sighed softly, setting his briefcase down before walking towards the woman. He leaned down and pecked her tenderly on the lips, the soft familiarity he had longed for for so long.
He sat down on the bed and took off his blazer. The woman stood up from where she was and walked over to him, drawing out each step, teasing the man. She reached down to his shirt and took one button off slowly, then another. She then leaned down and touched her lips to his once more, taking in the pleasure of the taste that was so unmistakably him. She then wrapped one leg around his waist, then the other so she was sitting on his lap.
She broke the kiss and smiled as the man let out a small groan in protest. She unbuttoned the rest of his shirt and pushed it off him. She ran her cold hands up and down the warmth of his body and he let out a small shudder. He leaned in towards her and their lips met again. She deepened the kiss, letting out a moan of pleasure.
The man’s hands slipped under the woman’s top and pulled it up and off over her head. He smiled at the white perfection of her skin and her small, well shaped chest hidden beneath a black lacy bra. He kissed her neck softly and she leaned her head back to grant him easy access to the places he knew so well. He trailed kisses all the way down to her breasts and heard her breath hitch as he stopped just before the spot he knew drove her mad.
He reached around her again, this time unclasping the unnecessary piece of lace that prevented their bodies from touching completely. They were now skin on skin, his coarse, tough skin to her softness.
She reached down and unbuckled his pants. He moaned again while she proceeded to strip him of his pants and then his boxers. She then removed her own jeans, looking him straight in the eye. He marveled at the beauty of the woman before him. Even if he tried he could not have created a creature more beautiful or more stunning than the one before him.
She pushed back into him and they both moaned in pleasure. This was what he had waited for for so long; she was familiar yet unknown and intriguing at the same time. This was what drew her to him every time, her ever-changing beauty, the many dimensions that were her.
When they were finished, she lay back down on the bed, her chest rising and falling with her heavy breaths. “Lily....” the man called tenderly, admiring her from the other side of the bed. Something was amiss, he now realized. Her eyes did not hold the sparkle they usually did, nor did her movements have the intense passion she always carried.
She turned away from him so all he could see was the shape of her back down to the curve of her hips, so sensual in their rise and fall. She didn’t reply to him, instead hiding her face with her hair.
“What’s wrong? What happened, love?” he asked her gently. He put his finger on her cheek, brushing away her hair and attempting to turn her so she would face him again.
“You tell me, Teddy,” she said slowly, her voice colder and icier than he had ever heard before. It made him shiver somehow; this coldness that was so uncharacteristic of her. She pulled away from his touch.
“I don’t know.”
“You promised me.”
“Promised me that one day we’d have the life we were meant to live, together,” she said finally, a single tear falling sideways down her face and into the pillow.
“We will, darling, of course we will,” he replied, reaching for her once again.
“Liar. How can you sit there and look at me and lie straight to my face.”
“Lily, I don’t know what you mean.”
“Do you love me?” she asked harshly.
“Of course I do, you know -.”
“Then why are you afraid. Why won’t you let us be out in the open. Why won’t you tell my family? Why must we hide?”
“Lily, you know the answer to that,” he sighed.
“Do I? Is it because you love her more? Tell, just tell me!” she screeched, breathing heavily.
“Lily please, you know that’s not true. Don’t be like this.....”
She paused for a few moments. The room was silent except the sound of their breathing. She was controlling her breaths, calming herself down. It would do her no good to scream at him, she knew.
“Victoire said you were going to propose to her. She said she overheard you and knew you were going to buy a ring soon,” she said finally.
“If its not true then why don’t you tell them you love me? Why can’t you say it, Teddy?” her voice broke at the end. She hated that she was so weak before him. She had always prided herself on being the one who would not cry in times of trial but simply push forth.
“I... Lil, please.” It was excruciating to see her cry like this, her face contorted with emotion.
“I feel like such a fool when she talks about you. Her ‘dear, sweet Teddy’ this and Teddy that. Do you know what it feels like for me? It feels like I’ve been dunked in ice water. I can’t breathe because it hits me that I’m not the only one you love. I’m not the only one you charm with your sweet words. It hurts because I want to yell and scream and tell her that I’m the one you want to be with but I can’t, because I don’t know. I never know for sure. I feel like such an idiot, standing there and smiling and nodding when she talks about you and pretending I haven’t experienced it all first hand.”
He shook his head, unable to reply. Here she was, splaying everything out in the open for him to absorb. Her hurt, her intense pain, her deepest emotions, displayed out for him like he had never seen before. The memories of the times they had shared were like a warmth that was calling to him despite the iciness of this moment.
“Say it,” she demanded, giving him a smile she knew would let her have her way in an instant. He could not resist her playful, innocent charm. They were laying in the grass, the sun beaming overhead. Her hair was much shorter here, lighter and freer like a small girl instead of the woman she had become.
“Say what?” he teased, wrapping his arms around her waist as she lay on top of him. Her small frame felt delicate in his arms, like she was indeed a small child who needed shielding form the world.
She scrunched her nose and stuck her tongue out at him. “I don’t love you, silly Teddy Lupin,” she replied.
“Oh. That,” he smiled at her gently. She was just a child, so much younger than him that his love for her had been almost protective and brotherly. She was just a child, after all, but one who knew far past her short years. She spoke with the maturity and knowledge of so much more than she knew in truth. She was something else, and he loved her for it. “I love you, Lily Potter. But you know that already.”
“I love hearing you say it.”
“I love Lily Potter. I love you, Lily Luna Potter,” he repeated, grinning at her. He sighed, tracing circles on her back with her fingers,“Someday, we’re going to live together like we’re meant to live, you and me.. No more secrets, no more hiding.”
She sighed gently into his chest, the one place she wanted to belong. “Is that too much to ask for? All I want is you, a life where you’re always near me. You’re the only one that understands me, Teddy, the only one who knows who I really am.”
“Who you are is wonderful, Lil,” he replied, kissing the top of her head lightly. She sighed, treasuring the last few moments she had in her lover’s arms before he would leave her for another again. For now, it was enough for her to believe that she was the one he loved the most and he was hers and only hers.
“People are supposed to do great things with love, Teddy. Love can power people to do beautiful, awe-inspiring things. Where has our love taken us? Nowhere,” her face was hard instead of teary now. She spoke with all the conviction of a woman who had seen far too much.
“Our love is beautiful, Lil, can’t you see that?”
She shook her head. “I spend my time just waiting for you and hoping that one day you’ll leave her for me. But you won’t. I know you, I know you won’t, because she needs you. She’s weak and fragile and she needs you. And you need her. You need a gorgeous lady walking beside you because that’s just how you are. You like how she walks as if she’s walking on glass and how heads turn when she’s with you. You like that it makes you special. She makes you feel special like I never could.” More tears, more pain stabbed her as she spoke.
“All I know is how to love you. All I know is my love for you and that’s not enough. That’ll never be enough for you.” her face was now wet with tears once more.
She silenced him when he tried to speak, “I have my whole life ahead of me. I can’t spend my whole life always waiting for you to come back. I have to love the way I need to, on my own terms. I can’t be ‘the other woman.’ ”
She sighed, lifting herself off the bed. She leaned over where he was and pressed her lips against his for the last time. When she broke away, he reached and grabbed her arm, begging her to stay. “Lily, please,” he pleaded.
She shook her head, “I love you, I love you with my whole entire being. But it’s time I love myself too, Teddy. I’m so sorry. Goodbye.” With her heart shattered across the bedroom floor and her eyes wet with tears, she turned and left the only man she had ever loved. It was time she gave herself the same respect and love she deserved instead of being played like his puppet doll he took out only when he was bored. She was stronger than that. She knew to love deeper than that. She was broken into a million pieces and she didn’t know if there would ever be another man who would hunt down every last piece to make her whole again. For now, she was her own being, and for once she did not belong to anyone else. She did not live for another.
A/N: Again, thank you for reading! Please please tell me what you think in a little review! Also, I was thinking of maybe doing a part 2 to this from Lily's POV to give more depth to their relationship, let me know what you think? Thank you!
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