I just can’t stop writing(: I love this story. Sorry it came out late again :/ I seem unable to write something that won't be rejected the first time.
The summary quote for this chapter is from the song “Eet” by Regina Spektor.
I hope you enjoy! Remember to leave me a review! Suggestions, opinions, anything!
Oh and sorry about all the swearing. Rose has just been under pressure and really tempered in the past two chapters.
I woke up to a familiar thought.
I fucking hate birds.
They were the bane of my existence. I repeat, the very bane
of my existence.
And being an insomniac, it was always hard enough for me to get to sleep without those stupid Mary-Poppins-like chirping freaks tweeting at me all throughout the night.
I couldn’t comprehend it. They just wouldn’t shut up…Didn’t they ever sleep??
I wouldn’t be feeding those things anytime soon…sorry, Muggle reference.
You know...it comes from having a Muggleborn mother.
Ok and let me tell you, no matter how hard it is for me to get to that point, I love my sleep. I need
my sleep. And no, I’m not going to drink caffeine. I mean, it’s not that I don’t like it, cause I really do. I’m just short enough as it is. Viviana and Alice always laugh at me as they practically live off it, but both are nearing 6 feet tall.
They make me feel like a midget sometimes.
And you know, it’s hard to be intimidating when you’re shorter than half of the people that you’re trying to intimidate.
Ever tried that? Doesn’t really work all that well.
I hate tall people…
Sorry, I’m getting sidetracked.
Who even likes them anyways?
They’re just little annoying shits that eat and chirp way to goddamn loudly, I can’t see why anyone would like them. They’re disgusting creatures. In my opinion, they need to be disposed of, eradicated and driven in extinction before they cause another unlucky insomniac like me a restless night and a failed exam.
In fact, I’m proud to say that I did the world such a favor once.
Now, now, don’t get your knickers in a twist, I didn’t use an Unforgivable. I was simply studying for my last O.W.L. and couldn’t concentrate.
Soooo, I may have…opened the window, paralyzed it and broken the branch it was perched on.
What can I say? I’m a Slytherin.
Ok…that was a really lame excuse, I'll admit it.
But anyways, as I woke up that day, the only familiar thing I was confronted with was my hatred for birds.
I sat up groggily at first, slightly off-balance, my head aching. I blinked a few times before rubbing my blurry, half-open eyes. I glanced down at my hands to see smeared makeup.
Make-up? Why would I wear make-up to bed – ?
And then it hit me.
I didn’t go back to the dungeons the night before.
But that means…?
My eyes began to focus, my heart pounding wildly. Terrified, I took in my red gold surroundings, hyperventilating as I spied two Gryffindor boys fast asleep in their beds. Before I could even think about what I was doing, I let out a blood-curdling scream.
Within an instant, everyone had woken up.
Shouting and protests commenced as the boys rolled out of their beds, but I was unable to pay attention. Disconcerted and muddled, my head was a complete and utter mess.
What happened last night?
I thought vaguely all the while keeping up my horrified screams.
Was I date raped? What if he had gotten me pregnant? I’m too young to be a mother! I’m not responsible!
I heard a familiar voice shout from behind me, “Shit! Rose!”
I didn’t turn around, I was too frightened for my wellbeing.
No, no, no, no, this is not happening! I did not have sex! Everything feels fine!
As I ran out of breath, I began to feel faint.
Why don’t I ever listen to my conscience??
Karma is a fucking bitch
Flustered, I grabbed a lamp off of my rapist’s bedside table in self-defense and glanced about wildly, my eyes adjusting poorly to the dim lighting. I recognized Al first. He was still sitting in his bed, feeling about for his glasses and looking completely dazed, shocked out of his dreams so suddenly that he didn’t seem able to function.
Al was involved?? No…he wouldn’t…
I couldn’t grasp it.
Still screaming, I clambered off of the bed and stepped on something…alive.
I fell back onto the bed in surprise, clutching the lamp to my heaving chest.
I watched in horror as the thing stood, shrouded in the darkness of an early December morning. As it turned around, I took a deep breath, wondering if my life would flash before my eyes…
“What the HELL, Rose?!”
It was Scorpius Malfoy.
As our eyes met, my drunken exploits came rushing back to me.
And yet, instead of being embarrassed (although I was quite sure I would be later), I found myself burning with rage.
I jumped off the bed, discarding the lamp as I walked up to him and slapped him straight across the face. With that deafening crack, the room fell into complete silence.
Scorpius stared at me with mixed emotions, fear mingling right alongside confusion.
“Don’t!” I whispered, my voice deathly quiet. “You know, I thought you were a bad guy Malfoy but I didn’t think you’d take advantage of a drunk girl. What? Did you think that you could get away with practically RAPING me?"
He instantly began his protests, “I didn’t –”
“You did what?”
Scorpius and I both looked over, surprised. It was as if in the midst of things, we had forgotten about our audience.
A stricken and completely torn Al Potter looked on. He looked so divided….so unsure of himself.
It reminded of the way he looked at me after my sorting.
And then, behind him was Lorcan Scamander looking rather somber, a great contrast to his normal, annoyingly bubbly personality.
Huh, so that was his voice…I thought I recognized it…
“She’s my cousin, Scorp.”
I glanced at Al, so incredibly caught off my guard that I found my jaw swinging open. He hadn’t acknowledged our kinship in years. He hadn’t defended me in years…not that he ever said anything against me, but still…
It was nice.
I glanced back at Malfoy smugly.
Scorpius looked so shocked that it was as if he had forgotten how to speak. However, after a few moments of deadly silence, he recovered and began to defend himself.
“I didn’t take advantage of her!”
Always talking to Al…the arse…
“Oh sure, talk about me like I’m not here!” I cried, so flustered that I fell back onto Scorpius’ bed and put my head in my hands.
Ignoring me, Scorpius continued, suddenly angry and desperate to prove himself, “Well then, why do you think I was on the floor?!”
My stupidity hit me like a rock.
Oh…well, that was a good point.
I should’ve known.
No matter what I thought of Al, I knew he wouldn’t let Scorpius do that to me. And the entire room would have heard it if he had…taken liberties, so to speak.
I groaned. And I used to think there was a chance that I’d be sorted into Ravenclaw…
Even so, I was determined to not let Scorpius win this fight. This had been a long time coming. I could hold my own in an argument and I wasn’t going down so easily.
I opened my mouth, about to bring up the kiss when I suddenly had second thoughts. Something held my tongue back (Al). It just seemed like a very, very bad idea.
So, changing my mind and going for a different angle, I shouted, “Well then why didn’t you take me back down to the dungeons?!”
He rolled his eyes, making me feel suddenly even more stupid and insecure than before, “I don’t know the password, you dimwit.”
“Well, Viviana was at the party!”
Scorpius sneered and I found myself shivering at the coldness of his stony glare. With a smirk like that, it was a wonder why he hadn’t been sorted in Slytherin.
He had natural talent. I was almost jealous...
But, it wasn’t his smirk that really threw me off. He just seemed so…hostile. Not that I wasn’t most of the time, but it was different with him. He didn't usually act so cold to me...and I couldn’t help but wonder if we really had kissed the night before. It all seemed like a dream…
“She’d already left with James.”
We locked eyes for a moment, a silent dual raging on between our two minds. I glared at him, mustering all the Slytherin I had within to sharpen my icy stare.
I’m not going to lie, I can be intimidating when I want to be. It’s a skill I’ve acquired over the years. Took a while due to the little height issue, but if anyone tells you that small people can’t be scary, don’t believe them.
However, Scorpius remained unaffected.
Letting out a frustrated growl, I threw my hands up in the air and stood, walking out of the room without another word. I slammed the door behind me, childish and dramatic but effective. I couldn’t stay there a moment longer.
Oh Merlin, I knew that party was a bad idea.
I practically ran down the staircase, quite keen on getting out of the Gryffindor tower. I didn’t look back. I just didn’t want to think about it.
As I ran into the virtually empty common room, I glanced around in despair, unsure of where to go. As two second years narrowed their eyes at me, I hissed at them and walked away.
I was in no mood to deal with their bitchy, uptight attitudes. If they wanted a snake, they’d get one.
Wretchedly, I stopped, looking around, quite lost. The common room was barely familiar. How the hell was I supposed to get out??
“Need a map, Rosie?”
I jumped, turning around quickly to face the bemused and rather partied-out James Potter. But, it was James Potter nonetheless and his humor was a service offered 24-7.
I was in no mood for it however and so I simply just rolled my eyes and replied flatly, “Show me how to get out or the claws are coming out.”
“Ohh, it bites.”
“I’m serious, James,” I deadpanned.
I loved my cousin dearly but I was in no mood to talk to him right then and I think he could sense that. Even though he wasn’t at perceptive as Al, he had spent enough time around me in those past 6 years that he could tell when I was serious and when I was joking.
He sighed, but just as he was about to lead me out, a voice called to us.
“That’s right, Rose, run away from your problems. That’ll work,” Malfoy taunted, glowering at me.
I whipped around to face Al and Scorpius, standing side by side on the staircase, their eyes locked on me. It seemed as if Locan had decided to stay back.
I always knew he was a smart kid…
“You know, if you’re not careful, your face will freeze like that, Malfoy,” I mocked him, folding my arms tightly across my chest as I took a step forward.
I would not be daunted.
“Clever,” Scorpius replied, scoffing at the memory as his eyebrows knotted tightly together. He copied me and took a step forward, returning my glare.
“You know it.”
I heard a snort of laughter. Both Scorpius and I looked over sharply at James Potter.
“What are you staring at?!” I shouted, shooting him the kind of death glare only rivaled by my mother.
James paused, looking back and forth between the two of us for an instant before replying, “Sexual frustration.”
“What?!” Both Scorpius and I yelled, disgustedly taking a step away from each other.
James shrugged casually, “I just call it as I see it.”
For an instant, there was silence. Malfoy and I stood together awkwardly, almost unsure of how to return to our quarrel.
Luckily, Al did the honors for us.
“James, shut up,” he snapped before turning back towards me. “And you! You need to thank Scorpius.”
“Thank Scorpius?” I asked, almost speechless with disbelief. “For what?!”
“For helping your drunken ass! Not like you DESERVED it!”
I winced at the venom in the voice, being brought back to a time and place I thought I had forgotten…
Al…oh Al. He’d always been the quiet child, preferring to observe the conversation rather than contribute. His thoughtful gazes and meaningful silences had sometimes unnerved me. He seemed to easily sense whatever I was feeling and never hesitated to let me know. It puzzled me.
He always knew me better than anyone else. It was like he could see right through me. And no matter how much I wished it was the other way around, it wasn’t.
We were forced together as children, almost instructed to be best friends. I guess by being the same age, it was assumed we would be. I mean, we were Potter and Weasley. Bread and butter. Peanut-butter and jelly.
Nevertheless, I protested. I always was the rebel child, as proven year after year. However, his well-placed, clever humor won me over quickly, a pleasing contrast to my own blatant wit. Yet, he was rarely confrontational, unlike me, and that was one reason as to why his sudden outburst surprised me.
You know, I remember realizing one day long ago that Al didn’t like to get angry because he didn’t know how to fix things. James had always been the one getting into mischief as a child, so Al rarely had the opportunity to apologize. It served him poorly; as now, he didn’t seem to know how to go about it.
But maybe this time was different…maybe this time he wasn’t planning on asking for forgiveness…
It was as if he had kept his feelings bottled up for so long that he was, at long last, unable to contain them. He had burst, the quiet, soft-spoken Albus Potter becoming almost unrecognizable.
And that hurt.
It hurt that I didn’t know him, and it hurt that he didn’t seem to care.
You know, people never really seem to realize what they have until they lose it.
I realized that quickly and, on occasion, I wondered what it would be like if I died, if took my own life. Would my family care? Would Al care? Would they feel remorse, regret? Would they wish that they had treated me better? What would Fred have said? Dominique? Louis, Molly…my own brother? I mean, even he began to treat me with a strange, peculiar distance. Silence had never been his forefront , but when I came back from my first year at Hogwarts, he all of the sudden took to holding his tongue…and when he followed me 2 years later, he treated me with cool indifference, sticking strictly to his little band of Gryffies .
The loss of the most familiar aspect of one's life is an odd thing, and in my case - even weirder as I never even considered the possibility of losing it. And for the first year, nothing but drastic measures seemed like the way to go, the way to regain favor from my family and from Al.
But then again, I was (and am) a dramatic person. So naturally, I had dramatic thoughts. I mean, don’t worry, suicide was never a plan, just an option, a thought. A consistent one, but a thought none the less. I mean, it’s not like I'd ever had the guts to go through with something like that. Cause, let’s be honest here, I wasn’t a Gryffindor. Maybe if I had been, I’d been brave enough to do it. But if I had been in Gryffindor, I wouldn’t have ever had the need to consider it.
I just wanted them all to feel sorry. Guilty. Maybe as bad as I felt in the first few years. But then again, it was only the first few years that I had been so dramatic. Honestly, I was only a child. Immature. Juvenile. Very theatrical. Suicide was more of a romantic idea than a literal one. And it was one that decayed year by year as I matured.
I took a step forward, countering quietly, “So you barely talk to me for five years and then you just assume that you know me?! You’re pathetic, Albus Potter. Pathetic. You can’t talk about what I deserve or what I don’t deserve because you don’t know me. You haven’t for years! Not like you give a flying rat’s ass! Not like you’ve given a flying rat’s ass since you met Scorpius!”
Al stared at me for a moment. His eyes seemed to look right through me, into my soul. I felt naked for a moment and I wanted to scream at him to get out of my head, to just get the fuck out!
But I couldn't...so I didn't.
Self-control…it was a marvelous thing…something that I had been forced to develop.
Anyways, just as I thought he was about to say something, Al whipped around and ran back up the stairs.
“Oh, so I’m the one who runs away from my problems? Hypocrite…”
James shot me a disappointed look. He glanced between the stairway and me, seemingly conflicted. Sighing, he conveyed an apology with his eyes before turning and running up after his brother.
Oh great, now he’s mad at me too…
“Don’t even start, Rose!” Scorpius spat, shocking me out of my thoughts, “You’re always thriving off of people’s pity. ‘Oh, I was sorted into Slytherin, boo me!’ You know, you always talk about how people shouldn’t stereotype Slytherins but that’s just some good old Rose Weasley bullshit, isn’t it? I mean, you’ve stereotyped me since day one just because I’m a Malfoy!”
It was true.
Confronted with the fact of the matter, I felt suddenly insecure. It was the first time I had ever really talked to Scorpius…and he had already broken down my walls.
Yes, I knew I wasn’t perfect, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t like to lie to myself. It was a pretty façade, the one where I was the hero and Scorpius the villan, and it was one I liked maintain.
But, in just a few words, Scorpius had torn it apart, bit by bit.
My hand itched, oh how I wanted to slap him again.
“And how would you know, Malfoy?” I cried instead, refusing to give in, “You don’t even know me! I’ve barely ever talked to you!”
Which is a reason, I might add, that he shouldn’t have been calling me Rose. My friends called me Rose. It frustrated me beyond belief that he wouldn’t call me Weasley. It was as if he were above last name calling which in result made me
feel childish for resorting to Malfoy.
Scorpius’ voice bit through my thoughts, “Well from what Al’s said and the way you look at me, I know enough.”
For a moment, I was taken aback.
Al talks about me?
Well, on second thought, from the way he said it didn’t make it sound all that great.
“Well, then why did you help me?!” I retorted.
“Because I’m not my father,” Malfoy countered, watching my expression flicker, amusement curling his lips.
I wavered. And noticing this, Scorpius smirked, turned from me and began to walk away.
I wasn’t going to let him get away that easily. Desperate, I searched for the words.
“Well then why did you kiss me back?!” I screamed after him, addressing the elephant in the room, asking the question I had pondered ever since my awakening.
He stared at me for a moment, a thousand emotions flashing across his green-eyed gaze.
“I don’t know!” He whispered forcefully, suddenly seeming more angry at himself than at me.
Scorpius held my gaze for a second longer before he turned on heel and walked away, leaving me alone.
Alone and wondering.
Alone and cold.
AHHH! Intense? I think so. I loved writing it.
So tell me your thoughts! Rose, James, Scorpius, Al! I want to know who you like, who you don’t and why(: Don’t be hard too hard on them, they’re all human. Oh and the next update will be a little later as I'm starting a new story called "Beyond the Veil" -- an action/adventure romance about Hannah Abbott and Neville Longbottom. It'd mean the world to me if you took a look at that when it's up(: Thanks again guys! Love you all!