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Chapter 1 : Lies
| ||Rating: Mature||Chapter Reviews: 12|
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I jumped in suprise and couldn't stop smiling that night...
I came running.
"I' m so sorry I'm late. It's a really long story, you see.."
"I don't want to hear it" he cut me "I'm starting to be fed up. You're always late" He snapped. I staggered, shocked at his cold tone.
"Whatever." He started walking towards the three broomsticks, I hurried to catch up, but it wasn't easy with my short legs.
I finally caught up, panting as I'd ran.
"Are you okay? Why are you so angry?"
He spun, raging.
"Maybe I'm fed up of waiting. Maybe I'm fed up of running after the same girl. Maybe I'm fed up of you!"
I stopped short, and let him walk away, tears prickling my eyes.
"Thank you! You're so forgiving... god I love you!" He said. I laughed, feeling free again.
The truth is shushed, quieted and kicked under the carpet. Like dust. Fluffy, gray, dust. But it's still there...
"Why?" I asked. As she took off.
He moaned and looked down at his feet.
"Megan... I... I"ve wanted to tell you but... I don't want to hurt you... this doesn't change anything, I mean, it does but... I just... I don't know okay? I can't... do this. I love you, you know I do... it's just... too...difficult..."
Tears prickeled my eyes.
"For HOW LONG Sirius?" I yelled out, angry.
"LIsten... I'm sorry I okay... I tried... I tried but..."
"Bullshit! For how long have you been... for how long..." I couldn't say it. I felt weak, but the words couldn't cross my lips. Since when have you been cheating on me? Why was it so hard? Why couldn't I just spit it out? Why couldn't I hate him?
" Six months." He whispered. My hand flew up and slapped him.
Two words. Two words that struck me like lightning. Six months, he's been using me, cheating on me... for six months. I staggered, my heart missed a beat and for a second I couldn’t breathe. I turned my head and angrily wiped my eyes. I didn’t want him to see me cry.
He turned his head to the side, ashamed, and the pain struck so hard I nearly fell back. He sighted and stretched his arm towards me.
“Please just listen...” He started, his arm touched my shoulder and I slapped it. Tears poured down my face as I told him as hard as I could manage, my voice still shaking from the rip I could almost physically feel.
“Don’t touch me” I took a step back. I felt like such an idiot. How could I have even considered the two of us? I felt disgusting, betrayed, filthy. He kissed me after kissing her, he touched her after touching me . I stepped back a few steps. I couldn't wrap my head around it. It was too much. Too much...
“SHUT UP!” I yelled. As hard as I could, and fresh sobs made my body tremble. “I don’t want to hear you, don’t want to see you ever again. It's over! OVER YOU HEAR ME? GO TO HELL SIRIUS BLACK!” I screeched that last part, turned around and ran. Ran to forget but it didn’t work. I could feel the tear in my chest, I couldn’t breathe. I sobbed and ran, I cried and yelled even. But the pain didn’t go away.
The truth bursts out. Too late. The dust floats up in the air and makes us choke. Cough.
I took his hand and laughed, he twirled me around. We were in an abandoned classroom. He cupped his hands around my face. And slowly came closer, his lips came crashing on mine. The kiss was building itself getting faster and faster, I tangled my hands into his messy hair and his were on my back. We kissed and he told me I was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen. I asked him if he wanted me. He told me he wanted me in any possible shape or form.
I strayed to shake of that memory of a kiss, but it remained, stuck in the back of my head and it wasn't leaving. Fuck.
I wish it was nighttime, I wish it was dark; I wish it rained and thundered. I wish I could curl up against a tree and cry until someone came along to hug me and take my pain away. But this isn’t a movie, this is real life, and real life, things don’t work like that. It was a sunny day, a warm summer afternoon, and the light blinded me, and made my eyelids red. I was at school, people turned and stared and whispered. But no one helped.
I wish I could take my heart and rip it out of my chest because it’d hurt less. Her. I had to concentrate on her. Because I could hate her. But I couldn't hate him. I couldn't.
But as hard as I tried, I could only see her tangled up in his arms. Had he told her he loved her? Had he whispered the same things in her ears? Six months.
I wish I could stop thinking. I wish I could stop hurting.
I should've came late as usual. If I hadn't of came early I'd of never known. I'd be happy. But when I'd have kissed him, his lips would still have her taste on them.
And I wouldn't even know.
I bit my lip to stop myself from yelling out, but I could do nothing against the pain, I felt a taste of salted water to my lips and a wave of nausea that hit me so hard I fell to ground. I fell and stayed there. In front of the lake that held so many memories. Under a tree whose leaves glittered in the sunlight. An old memory hit me in the face, slapped me almost physically.
He spun me around and laughed.
“Megan, you are beautiful” he whispered in my ear. It made me laugh I put my arms around his neck, my light blonde hair whipping in the wind behind me.
“If you really though that, you’d kiss me wouldn’t you?” I smiled maliciously.
“Why you little devil!” He took me and threw me on the ground, tickling me furiously. I laughed and laughed and suddenly he stopped. I opened my eyes and he was closer than I thought. I was kidding when I’d asked him kiss me. But he did. I could feel the sun on my face and the leaves twirling around us, getting caught in my hair, in his hair. I laughed in a kiss. I swore to that tree I was going to marry him someday.
My hand swung up and clutched my chest, my throat. I couldn’t even cry anymore but it hurt. Why did it hurt? It used to be a happy memory. Now it sounded more like a nightmare… I looked up and shakily laughed. It wasn’t even the same tree. But of course that didn’t stop it from hurting.
I heard laughter and lifted my head. I saw James and Lily hugging, laughing, kissing in the distance. It hurt so much I thought my heart would explode. I thought I would cry but I couldn’t. I thought I couldn’t hurt more but I could. I saw my blurred face in the lake. I could still see his face, telling me… telling me he loved me. Lies. Lies. So many lies… and I believed him. What an idiot I am. I wasn’t any special, I wasn’t any different from all the others, he’d forget me, forget my name in a few years. But I wouldn’t. Pain was beating on me, and it hurt so much I couldn’t put words on it. How could I ever forget that feeling? How could I forget the disgust, the betrayal? I clutched my heart and willed the pain away.
It didn’t work.
Keep choking on the dust little girl. You'll get used to it.
A/N: I'm not too sure about it so... please review! Oh and this was written greatly thanks to Avril Lavigne's song "My Happy Ending" and Taylor Swift's "White Horse" both of which I was listening too upon writing this. Thought I should mention it! I edited this and added background and flashbacks, as suggested by the wonderful reviews I had, thanks for helping me improve this!^^ please review! :)
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