“James. Did you just fucking trample my best friend?” I asked the tall muscular boy standing beside me, angrily. He might be big but my temper can beat the living crap out of him any day. I love James.
“It wasn’t my fault! There were eight people trying to get in and someone pushed me and then she was in the way and she slapped me when-“
“Because you said you were going to fucking rape her!” I shouted into his face, not bothering to apologise for my publicly indecent language. He just shrugged it off. I rolled my eyes. Berry was lying on the floor half awake and very dazed. Teri was picking up some of the mess with me, James and the rest waited for Berry’s senses to fully awaken.
I mean, she had a bulky Quidditch Keeper crushing her body - no wonder she’s half alive.
After picking up a huge sack of flour that had poured onto the floor when we busted the door open, I looked at Berry and crouched down by her. Her eyes kept fluttering and when they stopped, they scanned the room in absolute horror, and then a screech left from her mouth.
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Shit, shit, shit. How am I here? I thought….you guys aren’t supposed to be able to get in here! I locked it and! Yikes what do I do, what do I do. You’re here. You want me to talk and - oh my god! And you’re all staring at me and you’re going to beg me to answer your questions and - oh my god! And now- MERLIN KILL ME ALREADY! Oh my god, you guys are like all here now and oh my god-”
Yeah, Berry tends to ramble a bit when she’s in trouble. And, boy, is she in a load of shit with me. Albus smacked his hand against her mouth to shut her up and she squirmed, letting out little noises of protest that escaped his grip. She started clawing at him, slapping his hand and licking it, all so he would remove his hand from her mouth.
That is the annoying bitch I call my best friend.
Merlin, help me.
As soon as she had successfully managed to shrug his hand off her face, doe-eyed, she darted to the door.
I mean, seriously? She was even risking that one? There are eight of us. Four (hot) bulky Quidditch dudes and then two ex chasers (Teri and I), one weakling and one genius mastermind.
And don’t forget I’m pissed. I think she’s outnumbered. And when momma thinks, she knows.
Plus, she calls herself a beater, when she literally can’t run or fight to save her life.
Al and I literally pounced on her and pinned her arms to the floor as she lay on her stomach, writhing frantically.
“Get off me! I said, GET OFF!” She said squirming around, but Teri and James had already locked the doors.
There was no escape. We were all holding her down now. All except Rose who was standing in the corner, looking concerned.
“ROSE WEASLEY WHY AREN’T YOU HELPING US HOLD DOWN THIS RUNT?” I bellowed at her.
“I am not a runt-“
“I am the superior here, bitch. You. Are. A. Runt.” I said, ignoring Berry’s stubborn demands and giving her glare #32, also known as the: I-Am-Superior,-Shut-The-Fuck-Up Glare
“Luiza’s kinda right.” Al said smugly.
“I’m always right; you should know that by now Albus, dear.” Albus smiled at me and I returned it before composing myself.
“EXCUSE ME! I AM A GRYFFINDOR BEATER HERE, NOT A RUNT-“
“Yeah... A Quidditch beater who is currently being smushed into the ground.” Said Al. He received a nasty slap across the head from the girl underneath us.
“Nicely done, Al.” I said nodding my head in the cool way I am. Then she hit me.
“YOU WILL NOT SLAP ME, YOU LITTLE BITCH!” I squealed. Yeah, guys; don’t be alarmed, I call everyone a bitch, nicely or not.
It’s just what I do.
"Yeah Berry, we always knew I was the better beater of the two of us." Said Scorpius.
I felt Berry’s body go slack as she gave up. Wait - what? She’s actually giving up? Whoa.
Brace yourselves, people – the mother fucking apocalypse is coming...
“Guys, please stop! Please please!” She continued begging as we pressed our weight forcefully on her. I could hear the silent, pleading beg in her voice.
“Fine. But you have to tell us, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!” I yelled rolling off her, as did Al and the seven of us (not including Rose at the door), waiting expectantly. She sat up, ruffled her hair, and froze.
I looked into her muddy green eyes, and all I could find was one emotion, pure as ever, radiating from her whole heart which I didn’t see before.
We had all made many suspicions and guesses about what was going on that had meant her disappearance for three days and they had gone from unlikely to the extreme. Al and Rose in the past two days had stopped talking about Berry altogether until we saw her again. I thought, in my head, this whole thing couldn’t be too serious. I mean, could it?
“BERRY!” Teri yelled at her getting extremely impatient.
“Speak, already!” I practically shrieked at her, shaking her shoulders back and forth. Couldn’t she see how scared I was? How freaked I had become these past three days? She might’ve thought that she meant little to us but she had no idea how much we loved her and cared about her and worried about her, me, specifically.
She swallowed. She gulped. The burning question streaked through my mind; ‘Is she about to say something?’
No. She just sat still, her porcelain skin gleaming in the light from the small window at the ceiling of the room. She gulped again.
“Merlin’s thong, why don’t we just wait forever?” Scorpius said punching her shoulder lightly in annoyance. She only turned to him with a frightening look in her solid hazel eyes, which immediately made him back off in shock.
It looked like, like she was actually… scared of him.
I heard a creaking behind me, breaking the awkward silence and I turned my head to see Rose opening the door slightly ajar. She was looking straight at Berry, with a meaningful look in her eyes that told her one thing that I could not interpret. Al was looking at Rose knowingly, and confused as ever I turned back to Berry.
“Well?” I said getting really frustrated with the pathetic girl.
Then the most remarkable thing ever, happened.
“You guys just think this is all some drama, another joke. Well, it’s not. You guys don’t know anything.” She said bitterly with a humourless smile at the end as she shook her head, which soon disappeared into nothingness. She then got up, striding towards the door as a pained look spread across her delicate face, and a tear slid down her cheek.
The unlocked door slammed behind us with an echoing sound.
We all stared in shock. Rose ran out the room in shame. Al hesitated, choosing whether on not to follow after her. The rest of us, now down to a number of six, shared a look of utter puzzlement before we all charged out the room after Berry.
“Oh, my God! Do you think she’s okay?” Teri asked concerned as we darted down a corridor panting.
“I don’t know. Didn’t look like it.” I said, quietly, shaking my head and feeling terrible as we turned a corner before yelling. “BERRY! STOP RIGHT NOW!”
“I swear I’ll kill that girl.” James said from behind. I turned my head round to him, rapid panting breaths stopping me from commenting. “Before she kills herself.” He added
“What’s that supposed to mean?!” Jake said as he started catching up with Teri and I.
“Well…you know Berry.”
Teri rolled her eyes.
“Yeah, not the suicidal one.” Said Al. And to my shock he, fell back, stopped running, and sat down against the wall.
“Al?” I said, pausing, the rest of the group following my actions.
“Face it, Guys, you’re not going to catch her.”
“Ahem. Excuse me, that girl can’t run to save her life.” I said to him. He shrugged in resignation.
“She simply won't tell you.” He said. That was it.
“Isn’t this the girl you’re crazy about? The girl you danced ALL night at the ball? The girl you wouldn’t stop worrying about since she disappeared? The girl who drives us crazy but our whole LIVES revolve around? And suddenly, you don’t care anymore?” My voice cracked up to just a whisper toward the end. I looked at him with a look of pure disbelief. He scowled, but didn’t say anything. I shook my head and continued.
I couldn’t believe Al would give up that easy. He was probably the strongest one of us all; he was the kind that never gave up till he got what he wanted. Unless it was Berry...
We had stopped at a crossing.
“I think I can see her up on Seventh floor.”
“Where? Where?” Said another person.
“THERE.” Three chanted back.
“She’s going to tell us whether she likes it or not.”
“It’s time for some answers.”
“She’s over there!”
“Heading for the Common Room?!”
“The bell just rang! Lessons start again-“
“Screw that! We can just ditch today.”
“I swear Al would want to find Berry.”
“Well he’s not here is he?”
“Yeah but still… I think he fancies her.”
“WHAT? THAT’S JUST SICK MINDED!” Yelled Scorpius, of course.
“What would you know? You’re dating Rose.”
“What’s wrong with Rose?!” James asked.
“She’s a total neek.”
“What the fuck is a neek.”
“You, that’s what,”
“You’re so stupid Jake. A neek is a combination of a nerd and a geek.”
“I swear they are the same thing.”
“YOU STEPPED ON MY FREAKING TOE, POTTER!”
“Sorry Teri, you know I think your-“
“Jeez guys stop flirting already...” I said, bored with their conversation, down a staircase to James.
“Flirting? What flirting! Are you going bonkers Lodge?”
“You do realise you’re a crap liar, don’t you, James?” I yelled.
“Me? Lie? Never...” He said, in a 'disgusted' tone at my accusation.
“Well okay, she’s gone into the girls’ dorm.”
“And, there’s no way in hell I’m going in there.”
“Garland, get a backbone. I so AM going in there.”
Pause. Malfoy races up the stairs only to slide back down looking like a poor puppy that just got kicked.
“Yeah, smooth Malfoy.” Teri said, but I was already racing up the girl’s staircase after Berry.
I burst into the dormitory, and saw her, rummaging like a maniac through her trunk. She didn’t seem to realise I was here yet.
“SHIZZLE-ME-GIZZLES!” She said, falling onto the floor in shock. And then she started looking left and right, before scrambling up to her feet, and grabbing her broom from her trunk…
“Berry. You are not leaving me.” I said, in all seriousness. This was coming too much. What’s going on? I felt really upset that she had been running away from me, her best friend.
She sniffed, tears welling in her eyes and looking up at the ceiling and down again. Then she looked straight at me, for the first time since the ball. Her eyes for the first time meeting with mine since she disappeared.
“I have to go.” She said, shaking her head as tears winced through.
“No, you don’t!” I shrieked in anger. Tears were meeting mine now. “Tell me what is going on Berry. Tell me! You know, Berry, that you can always, always, tell me anything.”
At this, only more tears came to her. I couldn’t even believe my eyes. She usually tells me everything. And I mean everything. Like I was the only one to know her parents split up for three years until Rose worked it out. She wasn’t going to get away with this. She would have to give in now. She would. I knew it.
“But I can’t.”
“What!?” I asked, filled with anger and confusion, stepping towards her. She closed her eyes, trying to hide the obvious pain in her mind. She swallowed, curled a bit of hair round her ear, before looking at me, her striking murky eyes luring mine towards her. She looked so vulnerable that, for a single moment, I pushed my pride aside and wondered if I should just leave.
But I couldn’t do that. I loved Berry and that meant I had to push her. If something was bothering her like this, I had to know.
“I just can’t Luiza. Not here. Not now.” She said shaking her head vigorously, tears streaming like waterfalls now. She had to see that she was being unreasonable. She had to stop fucking running away from things before me and Al stopped chasing her. She had to realise the destruction she was leaving in her path.
And with that, she bowed her head in shame, hopped on her broom, and flew out the window.
“That’s right.” I whispered to myself. “Run away, Berry. We all know that that’s all you know how to do!” I ended up screaming, rage pushing adrenaline through my veins. I knew I was being unreasonable but I decided to screw it all and give her a piece of my mind.
I am such a shit best friend
I had to get away from them. All of them. I just had to. Didn’t I?
Thunder pounded down onto the Quiddtich grounds as I soared through them.
This isn’t safe. I need to get out of the air what with all this lightning around.
But that wasn’t my problem at that moment. All I could think about was my friends. Luiza, Al, Rose. Teri, Jake, James - even Scorpius. What did they expect? What did they think was going on? Did they just think I would just tell them, straight forward, about how my mum got killed by a bloody shitting weed poisoning spell?
I need to stop. I really need to stop. I’m swearing too often than normal these days. Usually I don’t stress with words. That’s Luiza’s job. Instead I start pulling my hair out. And now I’m doing both? I shook my head.
Doesn’t matter anymore.
But Rose knew something. In that food cupboard, down in the kitchens, I could see it. Al and Luiza were practically killing me to say something. Then, Rose looked at me. That look was so full of knowledge; it was almost like... like she knew. Like she knew what had happened.
And she let me escape. She opened a door because she knew I couldn’t take the stress. But, that’s impossible. How could she possibly know?
I don’t know anything anymore. I can’t define truth from false - like now, with Rose. I can’t identify fear or joy. Why do I laugh or smile when I’m at my worst? I can’t think about anything, except the growing pain that’s killing me slowly; killing me ever so slowly.
Can’t it just all end? Can’t it just… dissolve?
And for one moment, when Luiza looked so shocked at my rejection, I actually considered telling her. I thought in that one moment, could it be so bad? Then I realised it was stupid.
Stupid to have believed it would be alright. Stupid to believe she would understand. Stupid to think that I wouldn’t have completely broken to pieces in front of her.
Stupid, stupid, stupid. I’d already shed too many tears for the day, I couldn’t afford to mess up again.
And she yelled something as I left; something about ‘running away’. She was right, wasn’t she? But what else could I do?
I flew around for hours, watching the sunset on the hills. It was beautiful, the sparkling light, beaming down, glittering on the castle. Despite it being disturbed by the thunder, the rain, and the constant lightning zapping to the forest floor, it was still a picture worth painting. But all too soon it vanished. Just like everything does, I thought. The thunder faded. The lightning left. And the rain retreated. All was quiet.
And that was when the snow began to fall.
It was like the angels had come, to spread peace, and take me away. It was beautiful, falling swiftly through the air like crystals settling gently into the crunchy Quidditch grounds. It glistened in the fading light, swirling, dancing through the winter sky. New flakes began to fall, soon nestling into the thin blanket covering Hogwarts.
It was so beautiful; so, so beautiful. It made me want to smile.
But I couldn’t.
I couldn’t even smile. It felt like the muscles that worked on my mouth had just broken down, along with my mind, my heart, my happiness, and all my will to live.
What was the point? Why was I still breathing? Why, why was I still alive? Was there any purpose in my life anymore? Any actual reason to keep my heart beating?
Come on Berry. Don’t think like that. There’s so much to stay for! Like your little brother and sister, the two who love you and depend on you. Like the fact you are madly (and stupidly) in love with Al. That’s something worth living for. By leaving this world you’d leave that love behind…
So what? What if I do ‘love’ Albus? You think he’s just going to suddenly fall in love with me like some pathetic fairytale? No.
That’s not all! Your brother and sister are clinging onto your shoulders for support! You have so many friends. You saw how much they all care for you; they’ve been worrying so much about you since it all happened. You have such a big future ahead. You’d have no idea what you’d be missing out on.
I decided to ignore my brain and directed my broom straight for the Astronomy tower. I thought as it was 6pm now, I may as well head off to the apparition classes. As I swept through the air and planted swiftly on the tower, a small tear escaped my eye and I marched down the steps towards the Room of Requirement.
I hesitated outside the grand doors, flattening my skirt, and wiping my face, before stepping into the room.
I guess in these four days which seemed like all my life I’d never really thought to ask who exactly was teaching me to apparate. I was too much sucked into this world of pain, waiting for the sharp tug on my shoulder to relax a little so I could think about stuff properly. And when I walked in there and saw Hermione Weasley, probably the most clever witch ever known, Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, one of the golden trio, and the mother of my best friend, I nearly collapsed.
Shaken in shock, I walked up to her and gave her a friendly hug, showing her a weak smile. I shivered like crazy, and she stroked my hair soothingly, acknowledging that I was upset as she brushed out all the snowflakes that had nestled in my roots.
My eyes brimmed up with tears and I squeezed her tight and she started talking in that sweet, melodic, voice.
“Hey, hey, you’re going to be alright. Shh, shh.” She comforted me like any kind mother would. Like my mother should…
I wiped my eyes frantically and looked up at her.
It was that look again. The same look Rose had, that same look she wore as she set me free, as she let me run away from the pain.
That knowing look.
I decided to ignore it.
“You okay now?” Hermione asked me.
“I’m good,” I said nodding, as I wiped my eye for the final time, forcing on a big fake smile. “I…I didn’t know you were taking my classes.”
“Well Berry, I’m a Ministry Instructor, McGonagall sent for me specifically because she thought you’d be more comfortable with this course with me. Am I right?”
“Okay, so, apparating.” She said clapping her hands together as she spun round and walked toward a table where her wand lay. She picked it up and walked back to me smiling. “Most of your friend’s will start this twelve week course in a month’s time. But because of your... condition, you’re starting it earlier, and in simple stages, narrowing this down to two weeks. McGonagall’s lifted the apparition prevention enchantment off allowing us to only apparate within this room.”
I nodded, trying to look focused, when really my mind was drifting away. She’d said my ‘condition’. McGonagall promised she wouldn’t tell anyone. Did Hermione know? And maybe she told Rose or…no. That’s impossible. McGonagall wouldn’t break a promise and even if Hermione knew, she’s not a snitch, she wouldn’t tell her daughter.
“Now, in apparition, it seems simple, but there is quite a complex theory to it. The three D’s,”
I gave her a puzzled look. She continued.
“The three D’s are Destination, Determination, and Deliberation. Destination, the place where you wish to go is the key. It must be stuck in your mind through the full process of it.”
I was sort of getting freaked out by the big knowledge talk that seems to run in Granger female blood.
“Now, step one; fix your mind on your destination, this… hoop,” She said pausing as she conjured up a yellow plastic hoop that spun round and round till it finally settled on the ground.
I tried my hardest to concentrate on the hoop, allowing it to fill my mind. But then my head started to hurt. I winced a little in pain but she didn’t seem to notice.
“Step two! Focus your determination to get to that place. Imagine yourself occupying that hoop right now.”
Again I tried to concentrate, but it was like my mind had turned to liquid, sliding round everywhere, messing up my thoughts. The headache was getting worse.
“And finally, step 3; turn on the spot, and feel yourself disappear. One,”-Oh my god, we’re doing this now? “Two-“ I’m not ready! “Three.”
I looked at the hoop and turned around in such a rush that my thoughts got all jumbled up, and then I just twizzled down to the floor in a lump.
After apparatrion lessons (which I completely failed) I walked back to McGonagall’s office, exhausted from a heavy day of rushing round, and running away from everybody.
Was it going to be like this all the time from now on?
I didn’t even need to answer that question, because of course it was going to carry on like this. I couldn’t even face my friends without breaking into sobs. I couldn’t even look up into Hermione’s eyes because of the similar warmth they held to my mother’s. I was clinging onto life with one finger, slowly, but surely, falling into that dark pit, that funk.
I walked into the room, my eyes half open as I moped across towards McGonagall. I didn’t feel like talking. She acknowledged my appearance with a small nod, and brought over a sleeping Bonnie, eyes closed tightly, her little eyelashes occasionally fluttering.
I took her from McGonagall’s arms, and shut my eyes as McGonagall pulled me away into apparition. When we landed outside the grotty flat front door, I bid goodbye to McGonagall and thanked her quietly. We walked in the flat, and too exhausted to do anything, I walked straight into my room with Bonnie in my arms, and pulled the covers over me and her sleeping form, and hugged her tight like a teddy bear, squeezing her for reassurance as I drifted into a fantasy world…well, more fact than fantasy…
“Albus, she’s two years OLDER than you... Are you sure you want to ask her out?” I heard a stern voice next to me. I snorted into my drink. Ladylike, I know, it’s just how I roll.
“Al? You’re asking out a fourth year? You haven’t got a hope in hell!” I said rubbing my hands together, indicating my ‘evil plot’ mode.
“Shut up!” He snapped at me. I rolled my eyes. “I’m still taller than her….” He said openly to Rose.
Yes, he really was losing this fight.
“And? Al, I’m just worried you’re going to get rejected and be upset.” Rose said, putting a hand maternally on his shoulder.
“You have no faith in me!” Al said with mock hurt wide eyes, as he shrugged her off him.
“Al. No one ever did. Plus, your only taller than her because your this weird, tall, gangly, idiot.” I added in rather proudly.
“Ouch, Albus! You never listen, you’re stronger than you realise! The punches you leave create bruises!” I yelled; spit flying from my mouth to finish the effect nicely. He rolled his eyes as I began to fake death, clutching my stomach where he’d punched me.
“When are you going to grow up?” He asked shaking his head in shame..
“Goodbye... Cruel... World!” I said before lolling my head back and gurgling in my amazing death drama position. “Yeah, right, what?” I said, snapping back up to the real world after I’d finished. He just shook his head again. I dug my fork into my sausage, and then a thought came to mind before I put it in my mouth.
“Who is this girl anyway?” I asked and then stuffed the sausage down my throat quite painfully so I choked a couple of times, waiting for his answer.
Let’s pretend we didn’t hear that.
“I said Polly Parkinson! Are you deaf?!” He groaned, obviously dreading my reaction.
“Tell me this isn’t happening.”
“I said, tell me this isn’t happening! Are you deaf?”
“Um… this isn’t happening?” He said lamely. Then I slapped him. “What was that for?” He yelled in shock.
“You want to go out with Polly Parkinson?!” I said, like I was talking to a deranged mental case (which-I’m sure of now-he was).
“Sh!” He hissed angrily with a finger on his lips.
“Don’t tell me to shush. You’re the one who’s yelling.” I snapped.
“Because you yelled.” He said, like he was just ‘stating the obvious’.
“Because you want to ask out the Devil Pee-Pees!!”
The Gryffindor table all stared at me.
“The what?” Rose said, leaning in, as if she couldn’t hear. Jeez, what’s wrong with people’s ears these days?
“The Pee-Pees!!” I shouted, suddenly feeling a little stupid, and I felt my face blush and my ears go hot.
“What the hell is that?” asked Will. He was a friendly boy who sits next to me in Arithmacy.
“Oh my Merlin, do none of you know what the pee-pees are?” I said raising my eyebrows.
Well this is awkward, isn’t it time for Mr. Awkward Turtle to come in now?
Apparently he’s abandoned me in my great time of need. Pugh. We won’t be friendly with that turtle any longer. Such a shame, though, I really thought our relationship was going somewhere…
Oh, right. Planet Earth. That familiar place that my body can’t escape from?
“Pee-Pees. It’s so OBVIOUS I swear. Think about the Parkinson’s history. Patricia Parkinson. Pansy Parkinson cough-bitch. Polly Parkinson. SOMETHING’S UP!!”
“Oh, yes, of course, and with James Sirius Potter, Albus Severus Potter, and Lily Luna Potter, the next child’s bound to be Dobby Hedwig Potter!”
Three Potter children smacked Scorpius Malfoy rather harshly round the head. Triple dose huh?
“That’s so off-topic, Scorpius, you ho! Albus, I forbid that you ask out that Parkinson bitch!”
It seems like the turtle really DOES hate me.
The whole hall was silent.
Suddenly screeching sounds echoed around the hall as my saviours flew down from the enchanted sky.
“Yes! Go owls! I knew there was some kind of awkward animal coming to my aid!”
Luckily this time conversations had begun again and no one heard my rather un-called-for exclamation except for my little bundle of friends. Sheepishly I sat back down on the bench between Rose and Albus, and the owls came to distract them from the nonsensical.
A letter plopped into my lap, frightening me so much I shrieked and then covered my mouth in regret. I opened the letter and began to read;
I’m afraid I have some bad news. I never wanted to write this over a letter, I never wanted to write this at all.
There was a tear drop on the page.
It’s about your father... He was with another woman. Apparently I wasn’t special to him anymore. I’m so sorry, Baby; I thought I knew who I married! But I was wrong.
My eyes fixed onto the page, I got up and walked out the hall.
You’re so young but I hate having to tell you this. I’m sorry, I wish I didn’t have to and this shouldn’t have to happen in your life! But it’s true. He’s now gotten another woman pregnant. I wouldn’t have him in the house a minute longer. I kicked him out; I kicked him out Berry!
I started shaking my head vigorously.
But he wouldn’t go. Not without the money. Berry it’s illegal, illegal I mean for him to take our money without this whole situation going into a proper divorce format, with the lawyers and everything…
This wasn’t happening.
We have barely anything left! I’m so devastated Berry, I don’t think I can stand to be alone in this time of my life! I need you home Berry! I can’t live through this without you.
Tears were ready to thunder through.
I can’t live through this alone. I’ll send a letter to McGonagall. She’ll understand, won’t she? She’ll see that I need you right now to get through this. It’s nearly Christmas holidays anyway.
I sunk back into the marble walls.
Come home, Berry. Please. Tom barely understands it all and he’s gone into shock! We need you, Berry, we need you. Come home.
There was a great shrieking sound…
I tossed over in my bed, my body going into shock.
The shrieking sound continued. I refused to open my eyes in fear, and reached out my hand, jerking it stupidly to reach the alarm clock.
I plonked on the floor instead.
Then there was crying. I reluctantly open my terrified eyes to see that Bonnie was awake in my arms, screeching for the heavens.
“So I’ve got a personal alarm.” I mumbled to myself and stood up carefully, placing her ruthlessly onto the bed before picking up all the sheets and pillows, and conveniently throwing them on top of her. I sighed at my typical unhelpful self and dug her out from the swarm of white. I buried her into my shoulder, rubbing her back soothingly, anything to stop the crying.
She’s four now, can’t she get a grip?
“Shhh.” I said frustrated, anything to quiet her. The wailing continued.
I moaned angrily “Just please, shut up Bonnie!” I yelled. She wept but started to quieten down.
I sighed in utter exhaustion, and lay against the bed with the woken child in my arms.
“I’m sorry, I just need to calm down, I suppose.” I whimpered, more to myself than to her.
I settled her down, took a shower and chucked the clothes I’d slept in in the laundry. Quickly drying myself I moved on, brushed my teeth and dressed speedily. I realised my hair was in tangled knots still from sleeping but I saw the clock through the mirror.
I didn’t have time for that now. I grabbed my school robes, dressed Bonnie, and quickly walked to the door, but the doorbell beat me to it.
McGonagall walked in and staggered back at my appearance, before choosing to ignore it.
“Ready?” She asked.
She took my arm and with a click we were gone from the room.
Thoughts raced through my head about yesterday, my brain filing through what each person believed the situation really was. Luiza was hurt and furious that I wouldn’t give her information. Rose seemed to know something already and actually that didn’t bother me at all. And for Albus, after the attack in the kitchen cupboard, I didn’t see him again. I had no idea what could possibly be going through his head right now.
Then it hit me. Randomly, and hard. I hadn’t screamed last night. Every night since the day it… happened, I’d let out all my anger and pain into one, deafening, hollow howl that bounced off the walls in the night, alarming the village of my pain.
Once, some knocked on the flat door, angry that they had been woken from their sleep by my outburst. But I ignored it, hiding under my duvet in terror in the dead of night.
But last night, I’d just… forgotten. I’d forgotten to scream. I’d forgotten to let out my sound of fear, my sound of pure agony.
I don’t know why I screamed each night. Maybe the sound was awakening me inside. Maybe it was alarming me, that there was a world around me, full of pain that I had to swim through. Or maybe, just maybe, it just reminded me that I still feel. Feel the sound of the scream ringing in my ears. Feel the pain in my mind come alive and burn my very skin. Feel the pain splitting through my soul.
I just wish the ache would end.
I shook my head, trying to brush away my thoughts as I waved goodbye to the Professor and kissed Bonnie goodbye before sweeping out the room.
Another day of running away from people, hiding the truth and pure stress was promising its arrival.
I felt my muscles tense and my stomach cramp just at the thought. Without any books or anything to hold except my cloak in hand, I walked glumly down the corridor, so unprepared for the day ahead.
A/N- So that was a little dull and dreary and short. Sorry! Anyway, I think despite the length I gave you lots of detail in this chapter. It was more of a filler than anything. Well, anyway, give me your comments and share your thoughts and ideas please!! :D xxx
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