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Chapter 9 : I Am Stupid.
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“Louis, listen to me.”
Someone shook my shoulder. I swatted them away.
“Not now, it’s sleep time,” I muttered.
“WAKE UP!” The person screamed in my ear.
I shot up, clutching the side of my face in agony.
“Bloody hell, Rose, what is your problem?” I groaned. I’m pretty sure she just blew out my tympanic membrane.
“You can’t make your relationship with Aisha public,” Rose said urgently, pulling my hand away from my ear.
I frowned blearily. “Why not?”
“Because when you guys break up, people will find out why!” She tugged on my hand again.
I yawned and ruffled the back of my hair.
“What time is it?”
“Louis!” She pinched my arm.
“Ow! What the hell!”
“You’re being stupid!”
“That’s because it’s too early and I’m tired!”
Rose slapped me across the face, and suddenly everything sort of swam into focus. Well, actually, Rose’s irritated face swam into focus since she was completely up in my grill.
“You’re a horrible person,” I informed her.
She didn’t seem too worried about this.
“Listen to me,” she said, grabbing my shoulders and shaking them, “once you break up with Aisha horribly, she’ll go around telling people and everyone’s going to think you’re a total arse. Even though you’re irritating most of the time, that’s not true, and I’ll feel bad about it – and in short, you can’t let this relationship go public. It’s not going to be good for your image afterwards.”
My face felt completely drained of color. “You’re right,” I said numbly.
“Of course I’m right,” Rose said indignantly.
“Bloody hell,” I moaned, falling back onto my pillow. “This is all your fault!” I accused, pointing up at Rose. “You and your stupid bet –”
“Hey, I’m helping you out here,” Rose said irritably. “I told you I feel bad. I’m trying to make this easier for you after it’s over.”
I huffed. “Do you expect me to thank you for it?”
Rose grinned. “Move over, please?”
Muttering darkly under my breath, I shuffled out of my warm spot and allowed Rose to snuggle in. She pressed herself up against my chest.
“I love having male cousins,” She sighed.
“Sex offender,” I mumbled. But I hugged her anyway, just because she’s Rose.
“I don’t understand,” Aisha said, her eyebrows wrinkling together slightly. “Are you breaking up with me? It’s only been a couple of days, dude, that’s really sad.”
I stifled a snigger. “No, I’m not breaking up with you. Idiot,” I added affectionately. “I’m just saying it’ll be a lot easier if we don’t announce it to the world.”
“How?” She asked me flatly, looking unimpressed.
“Look, I come from a really famous family – you know that. So things like this get put in newspapers and shit. Luckily for the younger Weasleys, we’ve managed to stay out of the spotlight because of the older ones. But as soon as we turn old enough, we’re going to start getting harassed – and I just don’t want to bring you into that,” I explained.
“I don’t care,” Aisha stated simply.
Damn Gryffindor spirit, you’re making this really hard for me!
“I do,” I countered. “I don’t think it’s fair to you. Besides, every time Dom finds out I have a girlfriend, she starts talking to me again,” I added a little whine at the end of my voice for a better effect. “And Victoire starts threatening me.”
Aisha sighed. “You’re really bloody good at persuasion.”
I grinned and kissed her. Heh, I like kissing. Kissing is fun. “You’re awesome.”
She rolled her eyes. “You just kissed me in a public place. You’re not good at this secret agent stuff at all.”
“It’s too early for anyone to notice,” I said dismissively. “Besides, Rose and Al know.”
Aisha’s eyebrows rose up as a clearly pleased look spread over her face. “You told them?”
“Course I did, they’re my best mates. They won’t tell anyone, though,” I added hastily. Aisha glanced at Al, who was watching us keenly. He gave her a really creepy wink, looking like one of those dudes who grow up to become pedophiles. I suppressed the urge to hex him for being an idiot.
Aisha didn’t look too reassured.
“He’s really good at keeping secrets,” I said lamely.
“Hmm.” Her tone was sardonic. I smiled weakly at her.
“So, how are going to do this whole secret thing, again?” Aisha asked, settling back into her armchair.
“I was thinking it would involve a lot of steamy broom closet meetings –” I said happily.
“Not likely,” she cut in.
“ – and some midnight astronomy meetings –”
“Sorry, I like sleep more than I like you.”
“ – and definitely some secret library meetings –”
“ – and there’s always my dorm,” I finished, thinking of all those wonderful prospects.
Aisha just glared at me.
“We don’t have to snog the entire time,” I acquiesced.
I sighed. “Fine. We’ll just snog a little. And that’s all I’m bargaining,” I said sternly.
Aisha’s glare broke down into a light chuckle. “You’re adorable, Lou.”
“No, I’m not,” I argued.
“Oi,” Al said from behind me. I twisted around to glare questioningly at him, noting that he looked thoroughly disgusted.
“What do you want?”
“Will you take your shameless flirting someone else? It’s starting to fuck with my mental health,” Al informed me. This was punctuated by a really obvious glare.
I rolled my eyes at him. “Piss off, Al.” It’s called buttering up the Target, dumbshit.
“No, it’s okay. I have to get ready for class anyway,” Aisha said, standing up and walking up to my armchair. She stuck her hand out to Al. He stared at it.
Uh oh, I really hope someone taught him how to shake a person’s hand.
Yes. With Al, that’s actually a legitimate concern.
“I don’t think we’ve ever been properly introduced,” Aisha said in her ‘I’m trying to act super nice and cute’ voice. She smiled, “I’m Aisha DiMarco.”
“Albus Potter,” Al replied, and to my utter shock, he reached out and shook her hand, grinning in a way that was…oh hell no. That’s his charming grin. Bloody hell, Al, is that strictly necessary right now?
“But you can call me Al,” he added. More throwing around of the charming grin. I resolved to kick him where it hurts later on.
“I’ll see you later, Louis,” Aisha said to me, kissing me quickly.
“Bye,” I said, and I got momentarily distracted by her arse as she walked away.
“You are so dead,” Al muttered in my ear.
“I got it under control,” I said absently.
“You like her,” he accused.
I sighed and turned around to look at him in exasperation. For the last bloody time –“I don’t like her.”
Al narrowed his eyes at me, and I threw my hands up.
“I really don’t! I can tell when I like a chit, dude, I’m not completely emotionally challenged. With her, it’s more like…she’s a girl that I don’t completely hate and like to snog.”
Al rolled his eyes. “If Rose were here, she’d hit you over the head for being an insensitive sod.”
I raised an eyebrow. “But since it’s you…?”
He grinned. “GET SOME!”
You know what’s so great about dating someone in secret for extended amounts of time?
(In my case, five weeks.)
Well, the snogging. For one. The snogging is brilliant. Because she’s spent the entire day wanting to snog me but not able to, and I’ve spent the entire day wanting to snog her because I like snogging in general, and then at night (turns out she likes me better than sleep after all) in the astronomy tower we both get a lot of snogging done to make up for it.
Aisha likes me more and more as the days go by. Turns out that my complete lack of tact when it comes to girls actually works on her. She thinks I’m all shades of adorably amazing.
(Still working to change that “adorable” to “manly”.)
Al and Rose have started to warm up to her a lot more than I’d expected them to, and now Rose is having detailed discussions with her about Merlin-knows-what.
(But some snooping with Al – and a lot of mental scarring, though more so for him than me – told us that they were actually having discussions about snogging. As in, comparing my snogging skills to Malfoy’s snogging skills. THERE IS SO MUCH WRONG THAT THAT SCENARIO.)
In short, this whole dating scene – it’s not so bad. In fact, it’s actually kind of…nice.
You know, nice-ish.
“Louis,” Aisha gasped, pushing me away from her. I had an internal drawn-out ‘NOOOOOOOOOOO!’ moment as her lips left mine. “I have to tell you something,” she panted.
Silly Aisha. “Talk later. Snog now,” I instructed, pulling her towards me again.
“No,” she said adamantly, though she let me keep my hands on her hips. “I really have to tell you now.”
I sighed. “Alright, tell me.”
“It’s – well, it’s a bit early,” she said hesitantly, biting her lip and glancing down at the floor.
Oh shit. She’s breaking up with me –
“But…you have a right to know anyway,” she continued.
I ACTUALLY NEED TO DATE THIS PERSON AND NOW SHE WANTS TO BREAK UP WITH ME WHAT IS THIS BULLPOOP –
“Louis,” she bit her lip again and glanced at me from under her eyelashes.
“Hey, you can tell me,” I said, pushing up her chin with my hand. I wanted her to look me right in the eye when she dumped me, damn it, so that I could snog her until she said yes again –
“I love you.”
DING DING DING!
Aisha let out a little scream of surprise and latched onto me as the room suddenly lit up and a huge sign erupted over my head with WINNER flashing on and off. My mouth hung open as I stared at it, willing it with my mind to go away.
In the next second, Rose appeared out of nowhere with another resounding DING DING DING, still attached to Malfoy at the mouth. The word LOSER was blinking over her head.
“What the hell,” I said hollowly, as Rose looked around in surprise, pushing herself away from Malfoy.
“I did not know this was going to happen,” she replied stupidly.
“What’s going on?” Aisha asked, pulling out of my hug. “Louis?”
“I can explain,” I said weakly, still staring at the LOSER blinkie over Rose’s head.
“Really? Go on, then.”
“LOUIS WEASLEY,” an obnoxiously cheerful male voice rang around the room. This can’t be good. This cannot be good. I squeezed my eyes shut and prayed to every deity I had ever heard of in my entire life to make this all go away.
“You have officially won the bet!”
“Shut up, disembodied voice!” Rose yelled. “Louis, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know this was going to happen –”
“Bet?!” Aisha asked incredulously. “What kind of bet?”
“A really stupid bet,” I said desperately. “Which has nothing whatsoever to do with you –”
“Your target fell in love with you first –” I glanced at Aisha. Her mouth was hanging open, and her eyes were quickly filling with tears as she stared at me.
“ – and you have officially won 100 galleons!”
The words rang around the room for a couple of seconds, and then a huge sack popped out of thin air and dropped at my feet. The entire set up – the flashing lights, the blinkies, the stupid booming voice – vanished.
“I used a Wheezes charm to bind the bet,” Rose whispered first.
Of course she did.
“You – you used me,” Aisha whispered in a broken voice, and she was staring at me with an expression that literally made me feel like a piece of shit.
“I – no,” I croaked, stepping over the bag and towards her.
She laughed harshly. “Don’t lie to me – you did.”
“I – yeah, but –”
Sweet Jesus, I really am stupid.
“Oh my god, and I fell for it,” she said in a cutting voice. “I’m such an idiot to have believed your lies…what was I thinking?” she let out another cold laugh, and I flinched a little. “Of course you don’t give a damn about anyone other than yourself!” The last part of the sentence ended in a yell. We stared at each other for a little bit, me gauging for her next move, and her with a heaving chest and tears threatening to stream down her face.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” I finally choked out. “I was going to finish it off before anything ever happened –”
“Sure, and I’ll definitely believe you,” she shot at me derisively. “Because you’ve just given me so much foundation to trust you from.”
“Please believe me,” I said. God, I’m a prick.
She looked at me in disgust. “No. And from now on, stay away from me, Weasley.”
“I mean it,” she finished in a voice that could cut through ice. She walked away without a second glance, and I heard the quiet beginnings of a sob echoing back to me.
Real great, Louis. Real fucking winner you are.
“You were playing me this entire time?” Malfoy asked from somewhere behind me. I waited for Rose to get screwed over, too. Then we could go flying and do something dangerous to make the suckish feeling go away.
Thank merlin for epinephrine.
“I’m sorry, Scorpius,” she whimpered.
“Are you kidding?” he asked. He let out an incredulous laugh. “You’re brilliant. Bloody hell, Rose, that’s the most conniving thing I’ve ever seen someone do.”
Rose let out a watery, incredulous laugh. “What?”
“I love you, you stupid little chit,” he said in a voice that was – gag me, someone – actually caring.
“Are you – are you serious?” Rose sounded shocked. “Oh my…”
Merlin’s boxers, they’re snogging.
I scoffed and shook my head, and with a wry grimace at my mouth, I started to make my way down the Astronomy tower.
I turned around to see that Rose was barreling towards me, with Malfoy standing at the top of the stairs behind her.
“What are you doing here?” I asked.
“Coming with you so that we can go flying and do something dangerous,” she said simply, wrapping her arm around mine. “Let’s go!”
A reluctant grin spread over my face. “One second.” I turned around towards Malfoy at the top of the stairs. “Oi! Scorpius!”
Rose jumped violently at my use of her boyfriend’s given – albeit wonky as hell – name.
He hid his surprise well.
“Take care of her,” I said.
He laughed. “I will if you give me the chance to see her in one piece after tonight.”
“Shut your face, Scorpius! I happen to be a really good flier!”
Here’s a couple of lessons that Louis Weasley learned this year so far:
1) Never judge anyone. They can turn out to be more awesome than you originally thought.
2) Don’t make a bet with Rose Weasley. Seriously. Ever.
3) Irony is shit.
4) Douchebag-ism is even worse.
whoooaa! that officially concludes the spree and Part 1 of Pretty Boy!
part 2 is awesome--that's when karma starts to whoop some serious ass. you thought this was the story? think again. the real story starts right after this chapter :)
here's a preview!
You know what’s so wonderful about being a part-Veela dude?
They love me.
“LOUIS! GET YOUR FAT SELF OUT OF BED BEFORE I COME OVER THERE AND MAUL YOUR PRETTY FACE TO RESEMBLE A GOBLIN’S PIMPLY ARSE–”
My hand swung around and smashed into my snooze button, abruptly cutting off Rose’s shrill – yet funny – tirade.
Yeah, my alarm is Rose screaming at me to wake the hell up. She gave this Christmas present to Al, Scorpius and me. All of us hate it. None of us know how to get rid of it.
Rose still controls all.
“What was that?”
I froze with my head halfway down to my pillow, and then I realized I still had Lena – Laura – Lauren? – er…
Well, I met her yesterday. At eight. We were at my flat by eight thirty.
Like I said, girls love me.
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