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Chapter 6 : Secrets
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Hermione and I were sitting across from Ginny at the table as she gushed over wedding plans. This was going to be a long few months. I was already growing bored of her constant chatter; not to mention it took all I had in me not to look over at Hermione, who’s glossed over eyes showed that she too was bored. (Not that Ginny noticed)
Hermione and I had come to an agreement that we would not tell Ginny about what happened last night. Neither of us wanted to deal with her wrath as it was quite scary indeed. We were both still in shock as to how we had let this happen. I mean I love Ginny and she’s Hermione’s best friend. Sure I’ve been in love with Hermione since 7th year and apparently she felt the same way but none the less that was no excuse for doing what we did. We had our chance and blew it. Still, Hermione was still looking gorgeous and- DAMN IT! DRACO! SNAP OUT OF IT! She’s not your fiancé. I was going to have to monitor my thoughts. Why was Ginny looking at me funny?
“Hello! Earth to Draco!” Ginny said and I finally snapped out of it.
“Huh?” I managed to get out.
“You looked like you were in pain or something. What’s up with you today?” She asked me and I began to panic. What would I say to her?
“Oh, uh… Just tired I suppose.”
“Well join in the conversation then mister, we’ve got some serious planning to do.”
Ugh just what I wanted to do, sit here while the girl I was to marry and the girl I think I’ll always love plan my marriage. It was going to be a long day.
God this was going to be a long day. How could I possibly sit here and not look at Draco? How could I manage to get through this day and plan the marriage of my best friend and the one man I’ve ever truly loved? I thought I noticed Draco trying not to look at me as well but I knew he couldn’t look at me while Ginny was around. I kept my eyes trained to Ginny even though they wanted to shift to Draco just about every 2 seconds. Why was he so gorgeous? Not to mention a good kisser. SHIT! Hermione! Snap out of it! He’s your best friend’s fiancé, no matter how good he was. Ugh. What was that noise? Oh Ginny’s snapping in my face.
“Yes Gin?” I managed to pull myself out of my little world and say.
“What is with you two?! You’re both in your little la la lands. Just focus will you?” Ginny said, her nostrils flaring. Boy did red-heads have tempers.
Damn that Granger. Here she was looking gorgeous and I was supposed to focus? All I could think about was last night and how much I liked being with her. Okay, not just liked, loved. She’s all that’s on my mind now. I can’t help it, she just is. Ginny used to be this fire in my life and someone that let me know I was alive and wanted but Hermione makes me feel loved. Makes me feel complete. Ugh.
“Well that’s about all I can handle for the day.” Ginny says. She stands up to leave and I stay seated. “Are you coming Draco?” She asked.
“Errm no, I have some planning to do with Hermione. It’s a surprise so you can’t be here.” I added so she wouldn’t freak. Although this now meant we had to plan something to surprise her with or she would question it later. Hermione gave me a confused look but it disappeared as quickly as it came.
“Right. Uhh you should go Gin; we have a lot of planning to do.” She flashed Ginny a smile and picked up her water cup to take a sip while awkwardly looking the other way.
“Well fine then, I’ll see you at home later.” Ginny said and walked away.
When she was out of ear shot I looked to Hermione and said “We need to talk.”
“We need to talk.” Draco said.
“Umm. About what? There’s absolutely nothing to talk about, we’re planning something for Ginny right? So let’s get down to it.” I said rather quickly so my words just ran together.
“You know that was a lie to get Ginny to go away.” He started. “We need to talk about what happened last night.”
“It was a mistake. We were both drunk. It shouldn’t have happened.” I said. Knowing that I didn’t mean a single word of it. And hoping he wouldn’t catch on.
“I wasn’t even drunk Hermione. I didn’t have a single drink. I was entirely sober and in my right mind. I meant to do everything last night.” He said and I could feel the tears fill my eyes.
“Well me neither, but that doesn’t make it right.” I said, shaking my head, and finally made eye contact with him. Big mistake. The concern and love in his eyes made my whole body tingle and I wanted nothing more than to kiss him. God, why couldn’t I have just got over him when I was in school? It would make things so much less complicated right now. Ugh. I stood up to walk away, knowing I couldn’t stop myself much longer, but felt his hand grab my arm and I slowly turned only to find his lips crashing down on mine.
There was a passion there I had never known possible. I never wanted to leave this spot; I wish we could stand frozen in time just like this. It felt wrong and somewhere I knew I was betraying someone by doing this but that thought was shoved into the deepest, darkest crevices of my mind as my hands found the back of his neck and his found my waist. He deepened the kiss and I couldn’t help but let out a soft moan. He smiled gently on my lips and this caused my stomach to do a back flip. I pulled back, breathing as if I had just run a marathon.
“What’s wrong?” He asked me, using his fingers to lift my chin so I’m forced to look into his eyes. Those grey-blue pools that showed nothing but concern at the moment. He gave me a quizzical look, followed by a tender kiss. This time he pulled away, though I wanted nothing more than to continue.
Damn Granger. It was taking every ounce of self control to not continue kissing her at the moment, yet she wouldn’t tell me why she pulled away. My hand caressed her cheek and she leaned into it, placing her hand on top of mine and closing her eyes. She truly was gorgeous. How it took me until 7th year to notice, I’ll never know. How it is I went this far with Ginny without ever doing anything about Granger, is something I’ll always ask myself. How to get out of this mess, that was the real question that continually played over and over in my head like a broken record.
“Hermione, look at me. Tell me what’s wrong, it’s killing me.” I managed to get out. Now unable to just stand here without saying anything. She took a deep breath and opened her eyes. Those big chocolate eyes full of so much love it almost caused me to take a step back. How had I not noticed that our 7th year? Her feelings seemed to emanate from all around her. She truly was an open book when around me and I had never bothered to notice.
“Draco…” She started, “I just. I. What are we supposed to do? I can’t continue this, if Gin found out, it would kill her. But all the same, I never want it to end. But you can’t marry her if this is going to continue and I know you’re not going to just end it with her. So I think it’s time we went our separate ways. At least as far as this goes. I don’t know how I’ll even stand in the same room as you, or stand up there next to Ginny at the altar knowing that she’s marrying the one man I have ever truly loved.” I tried to say something but she put her hand up to stop me. “Draco, you know I love you. I’ve loved you since 7th year, and while I thought I loved Ron when we were together, it’s nothing compared to how I feel about you. But that doesn’t give me the right to try and break up my best friend’s engagement. It’s just not fair. She loves you. Granted, she loves every guy who gives her the time of day, but that’s not the point. Ginny always gets what she wants. She’s the only daughter in a family of 7 children, she’s the baby, she’s gorgeous, she’s persuasive, and the list goes on. Who am I to be the one to take that away?” She immediately burst into tears and started shaking her head.
As tears filled my eyes, I wanted nothing more than to just walk away. I turned around and nearly collapsed on the ground. Why was I so stupid? I let it get this far and then just end it? I love Draco. I love him more than I have ever loved anyone before, and I’m sure that he’s the one I’m meant to be with. So why did life have to be such a bitch? Why was I so chicken all of 7th year? Why did Ginny have to be so pushy and Draco such a push-over when it came to girls? I continued walking despite him yelling my name in the background. Keep walking, I told myself. Then I heard him running behind me and I turned just in time for him to wrap his arms around me.
“Don’t do that to me.” He whispered into my hair. “The last time you walked off from me like that with me calling your name was 7th year. When I lost you. When it all started with Ginny. When my life fell apart. Don’t do that to me.” He was crying and I completely lost it. He remembered that night. The night that left me an empty shell for so long. That night killed me, I felt like my heart would never be the same again, and yet here it was, breaking all over again.
“What am I supposed to do?” I practically shouted, “I love you and you love me, but I think we both know we don’t want to piss Ginny off. And she will be pissed if we tell her we slept together. Not only that but that we’ve been in love with each other for this long? And that we didn’t just act on it 7th year when we had the chance? Especially when she gave it to us that night. And we both chose to deny it. God damn it Draco, what are we going to do?” I finished, tears now streaming down my face as I tried to steady my breath.
Draco looked up and wiped away my tears with his thumb. What were we going to do?
“Well,” He started, “Guess we should sit down and try and figure this one out. After all, you’re the smart one.” He finished and flashed me his best smile despite the tears in his eyes.
Alright guys, I'm so sorry it took so long to update. I've been crazy busy. Working about 40 hours a week and trying to sleep when I'm not working. It's been hectic and everytime I went to go submit my chapter, the site would me down or the que would be closed. So, here it is, I hope you enjoyed it, PLEASE REVIEW!! I can't stress that enough. I do respond to all my reviews, so if you have any questions feel free to ask. Please review so I can know if there's anything you liked/ disliked/ think I should do in the future/ anything you want to see happen in this story, etc. I am open to some ideas, so just please review, I'll love you even more (I love you just for reading this). Thank you all for reading.
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