Chapter 1 : Holding Onto Her
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Chapter One: Holding On to Her
I was desperate. Desperate for a memory of her other than the look in her eyes the day I was sentenced to Azkaban for life; but the Dementors were taking all of them. Her smile, her laugh, the passion in her eyes, all of those memories were slowly being sucked out of me. All I had were painful memories. The memory that I was innocent, that I had suggested Peter should be their secret keeper instead, that I was partially responsible for my brother's death, and that I had left her.
“Isis...” Her name rolled off my parched lips in a faint whisper. Isis, the woman who would have been my wife. Before I ended up in Azkaban I had every intention of spending the rest of my life with her. I wanted to have children with her, to grow old with her. Now I would never get the chance and it was my fault.
I had been here for a month and I felt myself slowly slipping away. I was afraid that I would soon become one of the many inmates that screamed at night and babbled on during the day. Isis had always held me together when things got really bad. Even before we started dating, when people thought we hated each other, I could always go to her. Now, more than ever, I needed the warmth of her touch, but even that memory was gone.
Day after day I struggled to keep hold of even the smallest memory, but my attempts were all in vain. Each memory that made me smile, even the slightest, was sucked right out of me. The look in her eyes that day at the Ministry haunted my waking and sleeping hours. So much love and pain had been held in that one last look that my heart broke each time. If I could just hold on to a memory of her smile I knew I would be alright; I would survive.
That was when I remembered,
Bacon. It was the strangest thing that I remembered the smell of bacon. For a moment I was confused, why bacon? Than it came to me. Just before Isis and I had moved in together, Lily, James, Isis, and myself were having one last meal at the Potter's and Mrs. Potter was giving the girls advice:
“And girls if you ever get stuck for a meal idea both of these boys love bacon. I swear they would eat a plate of the stuff if you let them.” Everyone had laughed at that.
I made the mistake of chuckling at the memory and within seconds the Dementor outside of my cell sucked the happiness right out of me. I felt that memory being pulled from me, but the evil thing could not suck the memory that the recollection the smell of bacon had conjured. The memory was from the first morning in our new flat:
I woke up the next morning not wanting to move. I was sore all over from all the moving we had done. Since the area we had moved into was predominately inhabited by Muggles we could not use magic to move all of our things into the flat. Keeping my eyes closed and wanting to sleep more, I rolled over with the intention of pulling Isis closer to me, but she was not there. Confused I allowed my eyes to flutter open slowly adjusting to the light in the room.
Once slightly awake I realized she was not in bed. Frowning I looked up at the clock that sat on her bedside table, it read half past twelve. Her side of the bed was still slightly warm so she could not have woken much before myself. Rolling back onto my back I caught the most wonderful secant, the smell of bacon cooking. Smiling I stretched and climbed out of bed.
Walking into the living room I smiled. There was Isis in the kitchen in her tank top and little shorts dancing and singing along with the radio while cooking. I made my way closer to the kitchen being as quiet as I could. Leaning against the wall I watched as Isis danced barefoot around the kitchen singing and cooking. She did not have her wand out, it lay forgotten on the far end of the counter. I knew she loved to cook, but I was amazed to discover Isis liked to cook the way Muggles did.
Isis was in her own little world. Watching her was like watching a conductor conduct a symphony, everything flowing smoothly, and of course smelling absolutely amazing. I had to keep from laughing when she used the spatula as a microphone, she look adorable.
Twirling around she opened the cupboard taking out two plates. I watched as she carefully filled the plates with eggs, hash, and the best part the bacon. I knew exactly which one was mine as she piled extra bacon onto one of the plates. Setting my plate down on the counter Isis turned to come wake me up.
“Oh!” I had caught her the moment she turned, “I didn't realize you were up.”
I did not say a word to her. Instead I pressed my lips to her's. Needless to say I did not eat the bacon any time soon.
I felt the Dementors stir again, but they soon calmed as they realized I was not happy. The memory of that morning did not make me smile, nor did it make me laugh. Instead a tear fell down my cheek. I was able to remember her smile, the warmth of her touch, the feel of her lips on mine, but I would never again be able to hold her close. That made the memory agonizing. Yet I was willing to suffer the agony as long as I could hold on to the memory of her.
From that moment, anytime I felt myself slipping, I remembered the smell of bacon and remembered that one moment with her.
A/N: There you have it my attempt to make bacon important. Please tell me what you thought of the story by reviewing!
Stunning image by Jazzi @ TDA