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Chapter 6 : How It Feels
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But we had eachother,and at the moment that's all we needed…or that's what I tried to tell myself. The truth was Hermione missed Ron like crazy,and I wanted Draco back so bad it hurt.
Seeing him in the halls made everything worse, he always smiled at me,but nothing else. He was giving me the space I wanted, but a part of me didn't want him to. A part of me wanted him to beg me to be with him, but I knew that would never happen, Draco already felt bad enough about what he did, he wasn't going to push his luck.
Hermione was always insisting I talk to Draco, but what could I say? That I wanted him back? That I still hadn't fully fogiven him for everything? I just wasn't ready, but it had already been three weeks, when would I ever be ready?
While Hermione was trying to get me to talk to Draco, I was trying to keep her away from Ron. He had of course attempted to get back with her even after I specifically told him to stay away from her. I swear, it's like talk to a wall with that boy! Fortunately, Hermione turned him down, I could see it was one of the hardest things she ever had to do,but she got through it. I was proud of her.
"Aria?" Hermione asked quietly while we were pretending to study in the corner of the common room. Our thoughts were not on studying,but the boys we were hopelessly crazy about.
"Yes, Hermione?" I said putting my Potions book down.
"What was it like, being with Malfoy?"
"Um, it was good." I said shrugging. She looked at me wanting more. I sighed, "It was amazing. He was like a taste of perfection, you know? It was like whoever created us spent a little more time on him. He made me feel so alive, and like I was the only one. He was too good to be true…which was probably why things turned so bad."
"What was it like kissing him?" Hermione asked curiously.
"Even more amazing," I said smiling. "It was electricity running through my body. Sometimes I'd forget how to breathe. I could kiss him for hours, and still not be satisfied, I'd always want more. Nothing else mattered when I was kissing him."
"And the…sex?" She asked blushing slightly.
"Amazingly brilliant and pleasurable like nothing else I've ever experienced."
"So if everything was so amazing, then why would you want to let it go?"
"Um…" I couldn't answer the question. "Well, I don't."
"Then talk to him." Hermione insisted. "Tell him how you feel. Aria, you've got to take a risk!"
I gaped at her. Hermione Granger was actually telling someone to take a risk, and not think logically. That's got to count for something. I nodded, tomorrow, I was going to tell Draco Malfoy how I felt.
Nervousness ran through me. What would he say? Would he take me back immediately?
I had no more time to think, I could see him farther down the Entrance Hall, about to enter the Great Hall.
"Draco, wait!" I called running over to him. As I ran, I knew exactly what I was going to say to him. When I reached him, I flung my arms around his neck and kissed him, not caring who was watching. Then I spoke quickly.
"Draco, I'm so sorry about everything that's happened between us. I know you did all that stuff because your wanted me, and I realize all that stuff led me to be with you. And I'm happy about that, and I've missed you…" And here it comes, "And Draco, I lo-"
"Um, Merona, what the hell are you doing all over my boyfriend?!"
I turned around to see Pansy Parkinson, with her hands on her hips glaring at me.
"Boyfriend?" I asked. She nodded, and I immediately let go of Draco. The words Parkinson had just spoken, echoinh in my head.
"Um, Pansy,babe, give us a minute." Draco said, and she walked away giving me a cold look.
Babe. That's what he used to called me.
"Um, so what were you saying? " Draco asked like that didn't just happen.
"Nothing," I said holding back tears. I refused to cry infront of him. "It's not important anymore." I turned to walk away.
"Aria, wait!" Draco said.
I sighed and turned to face him. "Draco, I've been waiting for three years. And you've been waiting for four. We need to stop waiting. You've moved on, so I guess I should too." Before he could say anything, I ran away, tears falling down my face."
"I-is this how it felt when you saw me and Ron together?" I asked Hermione, crying ten minutes later after I told her what happened.
"Well, yes, this is exactly how it felt." She answered quietly.
"Well, this sucks!" I cried. I don't know why I was so surprised, I mean, did I expect Draco to wait for me forever? No. But I also didn't expect him to move on so fast. But he did, and now I would have to too.
As I cried I finally understood how hard things had been for Hermione. I finally understood how it feels to watch someone you love be with someone else. I understood how it feels to get my heart ripped out and pretend nothing was wrong.
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