I ran, my heart trying frantically to fighting its way out off my chest; not bothering to even try to protect myself from the pouring rain outside. I simply ran, like the coward that I am, to the only save haven still open to me, to the only place in which I was free to love her. My mother saw me walk in as I ridded myself of my soaked cloak, but one quick glance at my demeanor told her I was in no mood for conversation. With a wildly beating heart I hurriedly locked myself in my father’s old study; a lively fire dancing away in the fireplace, the only light and warmth in the room. I closed my eyes against her image, shaking fingers reaching for the bottle of fire whisky hoping it would be enough to calm me down.
I hadn’t expected to see her, especially not there and not after what had happened, the memory of her hurt filled eyes burning furiously in my mind. Tainting the memories that had kept me going for the last few weeks.
I hadn’t wanted to leave; I had wanted to spend all of eternity lost in that moment, lying there next to the sweet warmth of her and memorizing every single line of her body, from the silkiness of her moonlight washed shoulders, to the wild array of curls that fell across a snow white pillow.
I had wanted to touch her, taste her, and love her as I had done that night until the very last day of my existence, but with every minute that passed, with every gentle, rise and fall of her chest, fear began to settle in my own. I was afraid of what would happen the moment in which she would wake up and saw me lying next to her. I was afraid of how much it would hurt to see regret flashing across her eyes; I was terrified of how much it would rip me apart if she was to cast me away from her bed and to condemn with guilt one of the most beautiful moments in my life.
Even the thought of it was hard to bear.
So I left and returned to the emptiness that was my life without her. To the mere reflection of memories of her, that kept me going every single day, keeping the memory of that night safe in my mind like a stolen page out of someone else’s fairytale.
The sudden sound of the study door slamming open startled me out of my musings, the glass of fire whisky slipping from my hand at the sight that met me.
She stood on the shadowy threshold of the door, the fire place casting its golden light directly at her, the soaking hair sticking to the pale skin of her face, as well her wet clothes hugging every single curve of her body but above all, it was the intense fire that burned in her eyes making her look as uncontainable and frightening as a goddess of death.
“Excuse me but how dare you intrude in my house in such a manner?” My mother’s voice coming from behind her broke the trance.
“Leave us mother” I commanded knowing that she would obey; casting an inquisitive gaze at us both before she closed the door behind her.
She didn’t say anything simply stared at me, that turbulent fire still burning deep within her eyes. Before I could choked up the courage to question her presence she took a quick step towards me, the palm of her hand colliding against the side of my face, with a speed that any seeker would have envied.
“How dare you?” she spat, “How dare you come into my life and take everything I loved away from me?”
“Shut up! Just shut up, I’m sick of your lies, I’m sick of your games but most of all I’m sick of you.” Her words a vehement whisper more frightening then any amount of yelling could have been.
“I was a fool, nothing more than a fool for having fallen into your wicked trap once again; did you have a good time? Are you enjoying yourself?” she asked sarcasm dripping like venom from her every word.
“Hermione, it wasn’t like that.” I stated doing my best to not cry out at the pain her words where causing me, “it wasn’t like that at all.”
“Stop lying!” This time she shouted, her delicate fingers pulling furiously at her hair as she walked away from me. “Stop making up fanciful stories Malfoy! You used me, you used me and then you left, just like the last time I was stupid enough to believe your lies.”
“I haven’t lied to you; I would never just use you, Hermione. Don’t you understand?” I pleaded resting my hands on her small shoulder willing for her to calm down.
“Don’t touch me!” She snapped swiping my hands violently away from her body, “I won’t fall for that again.” I was beginning to get annoyed at her stubbornness, she wanted to believe I was lying; she wanted to hate me so it would be easier for her to go back to that
red-headed bastard. I could see it in her eyes.
Well I wasn’t going to make it any easier for the git.
“You want to know why I left? Fine!” I started, my own voice rising against my will, “I was a cowards, I didn’t want to face the regret you would feel once you woke up and saw me lying next to you.” Her eyes snapped up to meet my own, the confusion falling like a curtain across them quickly swiped aside by her remaining anger.
“Are you honestly gonna tell me that if I had stayed you would have been completely okay with the situation?” I cut across her before she could respond. “I never asked you to leave Ron; I wasn’t the one who made you give him back that ring. I know what my demons are Hermione, don’t try to pin yours on me as well”
I saw the blood leave her face at my words, her skin turning such a deadly white that I feared she might faint, with her fierce gaze still on me she opened and closed her mouth a few times as if fighting against the words that were trying to leave her.
Without another word she threw one last murdering glance at me, turned around and left.
My shaking knees gave out under me, tears of anger and frustration threatening to overpower me as I laid on the floor, my fingers buried in my hair pulling desperately at it as if hoping that that small pain could overpower the one burning me from inside.
I was a fool.
Blood pounded furiously against my veins as I slammed the door shut behind me, leaving Draco standing alone in the eerie light cast by the burning fire.
My senses where finally, slowly making their way back to me, my knees where shaking, my whole body feelings ready to collapse as I tried to make my way out of the manor, my mind burning with anger and resentment as Draco’s words echoed inside it again and again.
I felt ready to throw up as I reached the winding staircase that lead to the main entrance of the house, I had no idea what was happening to me, my sight was going blurry and just as I placed my foot on the first step of the stairs the exquisitely decorated walls began spinning furiously around me.
I could no longer see anything, could feel nothing but the sensation of falling as if through an endless tunnel, and then nothing.
A/N: Okay the first thing I have to do is apologize to every single one of my readers for having abandoned this story for so long, in my defense, I must say that I lost my inspiration. I was left floating in the dark with words I could not see, whirling around me and no possible way to link them together.
I give a thousand thanks to those who still kept on reading and waiting for the next chapter which you just read. It's short, I know but I just didn't think I could jump head first back into this story, I will try to do it gradually and patientely so as to not dissapoint any of you more than I already have. I do promises that the next chapter will be longer and will be updated as soon as I possibly can. So I hope you can all forgive the long wait and I also hope you enjoy this chapter. I love you all so much because you inspire me to write and to follow my dream.
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