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Oh, Mushroom! by WentToManderleyAgain
Chapter 1 : Chapter 1: Serious As Lily Evans
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 3

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Chapter 1: Serious As Lily Evans


"Oh, mushroom." This was so not my day. But you're probably confused, so let me start from the beginning.


There must be a pea under my mattress, because I just had the worst night sleep of my entire life. My hair did not agree with me, either. It was frizzing up so bad it looked like I have a freaking afro.

My best friend, Ashley Edwards took one look at my hair before she started giggling. "Thanks." I said sarcastically.

"It does look pretty bad." Katie Winters said sympathetically. "Here, I'll put it in a bun for you."

"Thanks Katie," I said gratefully. "I'm awful with hair stuff like that."

She smirked. "Trust me, I know. Remember the hair fiasco of '74?"

"Katie! I was trying to block that out!"


"Food time!" I smiled giddily as I began to fill up my plate. My other friend Leslie White raised an eyebrow at me.

"Really, Liz? Really?"

I looked up at her. "What?"

"No greeting? Just going for the food?"

I grinned cheekily. "Yup." I took a bite of my sausage. "Good morning, Leslie."

"Good morning, Lizzie."

"Don't call me that." I said through a mouthful of pancake.

Leslie wrinkled her nose. "Ew, Lizzie."

"You know it."

"That makes no sense." Ashley said.

"'Course it doesn't, Ashie Dashie."

Ashley just shrugged, used to my antics. "So, Hogsmeade is coming up." I looked up at her from my food.

"'course it is, Ash. You know that." I replied.

"Shut up, Elizabeth. I'm talking."


"Anyway, I kind of have a date."

Immediately, I start choking. Ashley look at me, alarmed. "Crapazoids!"


Suddenly, I stopped make noise. I couldn't breathe. Great. I could die, just because my best friend has a date. I was just surprised! Why am I being so calm about this!

"Dumbledore! McGonagall! Help! Lizzie's choking!" Leslie was screaming . . . Huh.

Black spots began clouding my vision. Then I fainted.

"Suffoco desino!"


My eyelids started fluttering open. I sighed. "Only I would choke on breakfast because my best friend is going on a date."


I looked at Katie groggily. "What happened?"

Leslie let out a tiny giggle. "Sorry, but you choked on your pancakes and passed out. Dumbledore saved you."

"Really? What time is it?" I asked curiously.

Ashley smiled. "Just in time for Transfiguration."

Oh. Transfiguration was my last class of the day. As well as my second favorite. Nothing could beat Herbology, though.

My friends and I hurried down to class. "I'm sorry, professor. I was in the hospital wing. I have a note from Madam Pomfrey."

Professor McGonagall was a very stern looking lady. "Very well, Ms. Moore. But what about you three?" She asked, looking toward Katie, Leslie, and Ash.

"We were with Elizabeth. Madam Pomfrey asked us to bring her down with us when she awoke." Ashley said quickly.

"All of you?" McGonagall asked doubtfully, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, Professor."

"Oh, come on, Minnie! Leave 'em alone!" Sirius Black called from his seat next to James Potter in the back.

McGonagall looked furious. "Detention, Mr. Black."

I swear to Merlin, Sirius Black and James Potter have racked up enough detentions they'll still be doing them after we graduate.

I passed James Potter on the way to my seat when suddenly his hair turned neon pink and he become covered in boils. Everyone in the class started laughing.

McGonagall's face turned red enough to rival Arthur Weasley's hair. "Ms. Moore!" she roared. Wait, what she just say? James, who was trying to turn his hair back, started glaring at me.

"What did I do?" I asked, shocked.

"Detention after dinner, Ms. Moore! Mr. Lupin, take Mr. Potter to the hospital wing."

I was shocked. I never got in trouble. I was a freaking Ravenclaw! We don't get in trouble! And how the mushroom did James freaking Potter not know how to change his hair back or get rid of the boils? He was James freaking Potter! Merlin, this was so not my day.

"Elizabeth! Pst! What did you do?" Ashley whisper from behind me.

"I didn't do anything!" I hissed.

"Five points each from Ravenclaw for talking, Ms. Moore, Ms. Edwards." McGonagall said before getting back to the lesson.

I slumped in my seat, tired. Dammit all to hell.


"Hello, Ms. Moore." A familiar voice came from behind me on my way to detention.

"What are you doing here, Black?" I asked tiredly.

"Oh, what a warm welcome!" He said cheerily.

"Get to the point."

"Well, Ms. Ravenclaw, I just so happen to also have detention."

"Oh," I blinked. "Right."

"Anyway, I'm sorry that Minnie thought it was you who hexed James."

My eyes widened. "Was that you?"

Sirius shrugged. "Maybe."

I groaned. "Great, thanks. You've gotten me my first detention and James Potter is possibly planning my death at this very moment."

Sirius raised his eyebrows. "This is your first detention? It's your sixth year! That's kind of sad, Moore." Notice how he didn't say anything about Potter trying to kill me?

I let out a soft sigh. "Please don't call me Moore. I hate it when people call me anything but Elizabeth."

Sirius chuckled. "All the more reason, Lizzie, all the more reason."


Okay, I seriously think someone put a pea under my mattress. I didn't sleep again, either. This is just sad. Shouldn't being tired ensure that you sleep at least a little? Oh, but no. Why must I defy logic all the freaking time?

This is why I'm spending my Saturday in a library. Story of my life. Somehow, I managed to fall asleep. On a hard wooden chair. How is it I can fall sleep in the library but not in my own bed? There really must be a pea under there.

"Lizzie? Liiiizzzzziiiiieeeee?" a voice was next to my ear.

"Shut up." I muttered, my words slightly slurred.

"Wake up."

I groaned and lifted my head to find Sirius freaking Black's face only a few inches from mine. "Oh, mushroom. Why the Merlin are you in the library?" It was a rare sight, indeed.

He shrugged. "I'm looking for Remus. Have you seen him?"

"Do I look like I've seen him?"

"No, not really," he smiled cheerfully and sat down. "Why are you sleeping in here, by the way?"

"Because for the past two nights I haven't been able to fall asleep. I think someone must have stuck a pea under my mattress or something."

Sirius just looked confused.

"The princess and the pea? Really? Nothing?"

"Anyway," Sirius began to change the subject not so subtly. "Why do you randomly say mushroom?"

"It's my replacement for some curse words."

"When did you start doing that?"

"Third year."


"Yup yup, gus-gus."

Sirius just looked at me. "Is that another weird Lizzie thing?"

"Yeah, pay no mind." I said, not bothering to correct him on the name.

"It's dinner time." Sirius informed me. "My stomach just told me."

"Goodie." I got up from the table, almost immediately running into someone. My books went flying out of my hands. Only me.

"Sorry," I muttered.

"It's fine. I wasn't looking where I was going." Wow. This guy must be nice. I had practically shot up out of my seat.

"Nice, Lizzie Bizzie." Sirius chuckled. "Oh, hey Moony! I've been looking for you!"

Confused, I looked up. "Oh, mushroom."

"Hey, aren't you that girl who started choking in the middle of breakfast and fainted?" Remus Lupin asked me.

I think my face just turned 17 different shades of red. One for each year I've been alive. This was the first words Remus Lupin has ever said to me since first year when I was his Potions partner. Which is an awfully long time ago, may I remind you. I've had a crush ever since we were partnered. Six. Years. So basically just about forever.

"Erm, yeah." smooth, Elizabeth. He's sure to fall in love with you now.

"I'm Remus Lupin." he smiled kindly.

"I know." he seriously doesn't know who I am? We were potions partners in first year and we're both prefects. I know he keeps to himself and his friends, but that's just sad.

"And you are?" oh. I forgot to finish.

"Lizabeth Moore." Sirius replied for me.

I glared at him before turning to Remus. "Elizabeth Moore. R-Ravenclaw prefect. I was your p-potions partner in f-first year."

Remus blushed a little.



"Lizzie, you're a prefect?" Sirius looked surprised.

I rolled my eyes. "Does no one realize this?"

"Oh, Lizzie, darling, I realized this." an arm slung over my shoulder. I turned to find Ash there.

"Of course you realize this. You share the same dorm as me. I'd pity you if you didn't know." I rolled my eyes and shrugged her off.

"Anyway, Elizabeth, I came to find you to bring you to dinner. Come."

My eyes light up. "Dinner! Chip chip cheerio dear friends!" I cried before racing Ashley out of the library.


"Lizzie love!" I jumped in surprise.

"Merlin, kill me now." I muttered under my breath. "Yes, Sirius, darling?" I turned to find him and his groupies.

"There's my favorite female Ravenclaw 6th year prefect!" he cried, as they advanced.

I really wish you could apparate on Hogwarts grounds. As much as I love seeing my crush of six years, I do not delight in seeing Sirius Black. I was not a big fan. Sure, I didn't hate him. Well, not completely. But I hate how he's such a womanizer. Yet it appears he has adopted me as his newest pet. Joy.

I shook my head at his antics, my loose black curls slapping the side of my neck. "I'm the only person in Hogwarts who fits that description." I pointed out.

Sirius waved me off. "So, we are here to invite you to eat dinner with us."

I raised an eyebrow. "All of you?"

"Except James." Sirius paused. "And Peter. And Remus." I winced inwardly. Of course Remus wouldn't want to eat dinner with me. He's only speaker to me five times in his life!

"No thank you." I said stiffly.

"Lizzie!" Sirius whined.

"Stop. Calling. Me. Lizzie." I growled.

"Elizabeth, put your wand away now!"

Of course. Leslie has to ruin all my fun. So, I turned to glare out her.

"Jeez Louise, Elizabeth. What has been wrong with you lately?"

"Someone stuck a pea under my bed."

Sirius eyes widened. "Someone actually did that?"

I rolled my eyes. "Of course not, moron. No, someone decided to put a bunch of pebbles under it."

Leslie raised an eyebrow. I'm jealous that she can do that. "Are you being Elizabeth again, or a Lily?"

"A Lily." I responded.

"Oh. She's telling the truth." Leslie directed to the boys.

"What do you mean by being an Elizabeth or a Lily?" James suddenly piped up.

"A Lily is serious. An Elizabeth is goofy. In reference to our very own Elizabeth Moore and Lily Evans. They used to live across the street from each other, you know."

"Really?" James asked. Oh, Potter. Its kind of sad and obvious that he's in love with her.

"Well, chip chip cheerio, I'm off to the library!" I said brightly before skipping off. Thank Merlin for my normally bubbly personality or that might have been awkward!

Oh, books, books, books. La, la, la, la, la! Library, library, library, la, la, la, la, la!


"Oh he's a jolly good fellow, Oh he's a jolly good fellow, Oh he's a jolly good felloooowwww! That nobody can deny!"

I continued humming straight to my friends. "Hello dear servants!"

They just kept eating. I love how my friends are so tolerant on me. Just as I was bringing my leg over the bench, someone tripped over my foot.

"Oh, mushroom!" I cursed. "I'm so sorry!" I began apologizing as I brought my leg back from straddling the seat.

"It's fine Elizabeth." oh. It's Remus. Of course. This is the second time in two days that I've tripped or ran into my crush. Merlin was be out to get me. I could feel my face starting to heat up.

"I-I'm really sorry." oh great. Now I'm stuttering. Well done, me.

"I was coming over by order of Sirius to drag you to the Gryffindor table."

I blinked. "I'm a Ravenclaw."



"Because you're his new friend."

I frowned slightly. "No."

Remus shrugged and walked away as I sat down.

"Elizabeth Lily Moore, please tell me you just rejected an invitation to sit with the Marauders." Katie hissed.

"I did. So what?"

"Sirius is my date to Hogsmeade!" Ashley whispered to me.

Wow. "Seriously?"

"As Lily Evans."

"Wow." I paused for a second. "Wait, then why don't you just ask if you can sit with them?"

Ashley holds her head in her hands. "Oh, Lizzie, Lizzie, Lizzie. When will you ever understand?"

I shrug. "When Peter Pettrigrew realizes the only reason he can't levitate things is because he flicks before he swishes."

Leslie looked at me. "But that's a first year spell."

"I know." oh, Leslie. She's our Hufflepuff friend, so she wasn't there when Pettigrew messed up the spell.

Leslie nodded her head. "Okay."

"So, I've got to go. I have an obnoxious about of transfiguration homework." I sighed. "Three rolls of parchment. Already. I can't believe we just got back from summer vacation."

"Bye." they chorused.

"Bye, bye miss American pie." I sang under my breath. As I passed Xenophilius Lovegood, a boy a I had a crush on in third year, he stood up and nearly ran into me.

Merlin, what is with me and nearly running into people?


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