What Hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
-Rascal Flatts “What Hurts The Most”
Author's Note: Hello there! :) I hope you enjoy my second ever song-fic. I actually really like this one.
Draco sat alone in the bedroom of the flat that he bought just after he had graduated from Hogwarts. He had been living there with Pansy for the past year and a half, until she had broken up with him and left. Draco listened to the rain outside, wishing that Pansy was here with him, but she was gone now, leaving him alone to the listen to the rain by himself.
The once soothing sound just made him miss her more. He used to love the rain, but now it just brought back painful memories. The rain didn’t bother him as much as the other little things around the house. Draco went over to his dresser and rummaged through it, finally sitting back down with a light pink T-shirt that Pansy had left behind by mistake. Even after three weeks it still had the faint rose sent that Pansy always had.
Draco stood up to get ready for work and glanced sadly at the bed that he had, until quite recently, shared with Pansy. Even though it had been three weeks, he was still having trouble sleeping at night without her there. His heart would sink every time he woke up without her and realizing it wasn’t a dream, that she really was gone. He always had bags under his eyes and seemed to be on the verge of tears. Draco and Pansy had been together from fourth year up until three weeks ago.
After five years together, Pansy packed her bags and left saying that Draco didn’t love her and that he never did. What she never understood, was that he did. He was ready to die for her during the Second Wizarding War. He had just watched her leave in stunned silence, not running after her like he should have. Draco deeply regretted not chasing after Pansy and not telling her how much he truly loved her. He just watched her go leaving those words and feelings locked in his heart and never knowing what could have been.
He arrived at the ministry early to avoid seeing their old friends. Draco hated bumping into them; having to force a smile and act like he was fine even though he wasn’t. With a sigh he entered his office and sat down at his desk. He used to enjoy his job, but now it just reminded him of how Pansy had cheerfully talked him into applying for this job instead any old job in Diagon Alley.
He missed her so much and his job just made it harder for him to move on. If he could get away with it he wouldn’t come to work at all. In fact, he would rather stay in bed than get up and have to live without her. He wished he had found the nerve to propose to her, even though he had been afraid that she wouldn’t feel the same way. They could’ve been happy together, had a family, and shown each other love.
Draco reached into the pocket of his robes and pulled out a photo of him and Pansy. Blaise had taken the picture a year ago after Draco had told Pansy that he got the job. Draco let a small sad smile break through as he watched himself happily twirling a laughing Pansy around, pausing occasionally to kiss her on the cheek.
If he could he would go back to that day and tell Pansy how much he loved her and how he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her and raise her children to become successful witches or wizards. He wanted to be there with her when her first child goes of to their first year at Hogwarts, but most of all he wanted her to love him back like she did back when they were in school.
It was killing him, knowing that if he had been more open and less fearful he could still be with Pansy. If he hadn’t left those words unspoken and kept them to himself he could be taking walks with her in the nearby muggle parks on the beautiful moonlit nights or planning something special for her birthday in a few months. He could even be planning how and when he was going to ask her to marry him, but that wasn’t going to happen.
Even though deep down Draco knew that Pansy wasn’t going to come back because she had moved on, he kept clinging desperately to the hope that she would come back. Hoping that she would finally realizing that Draco loved her. He just kept hoping that she would finally see that loving her was what he was trying to do and the only thing he ever wanted to do.
Author's note: Did you like it? Yeah I know it's pretty short but really it only looks that way because it's written in full paragraphs. Besides it would be over 1,000 words if I had the lyrics in, but you can't do that for this challenge. Anyway, I'm pretty proud of this one, even if it is a bit on the short side. By the way...I love reviews :D
Edited by my friend Emma, of course!
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