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Chapter 3 : I thought you cared
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“Pansy?” Draco says in the potion lesson we have together with the Gryffindors.
“Have you finished our potion?”
“No, does it seem like I have finished it? And by the way, it’s not our potion. It’s my potion. You have your own”.
“But you said you could make mine, I’m talking to Blaise, so I’m kind of busy.”
“I never said that. You presumed it. And, what the hell? You’re talking to Blaise so you’re kind of busy? You can talk to Blaise any other time! For God’s sake Draco, now you’re just foolish”.
“And you’re just a crappy bitch, Pansy”.
“I have my reasons, Draco”.
“Really? Tell me about them then”.
“Like you care”.
“Why wouldn’t I?”
“Because you don’t care, Draco, that’s why. You say you care, but you don’t”.
“What the hell are you talking about Pansy?”
“You say you care so much about me, but you don’t. I thought you had stopped flirting with other girls, but I guess I was wrong!”
“Oh God, don’t start with that again”.
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“You always complain about me flirting with other girls. I don’t. Can’t you just get that? I don’t flirt with other girls, I’m with you. But you know what, if you don’t stop complaining about it, maybe I will. Because I’m sick of this”.
“You’re sick of it? So am I, Draco. And stop saying that bullshit; of course you flirt with other girls. I’m neither stupid, blind nor deaf if that's what you thought”.
“I’m sick of you”.
“I’m sick of you.”
“Fine. Is it over then?” I tried to be calm and not show that I cared, but it was hard. I couldn’t believe what I just said.
“Seems like it is”.
“Good”, I lied.
“Good”. He turned away from me and started talking to Blaise again. I sighed. I just couldn’t believe what just happened. Was it over? Was that all? Really? Draco Malfoy isn't my boyfriend anymore? And was it me who had suggested it? Damn it.
“Draco and I aren’t together anymore”, I said to Daphne while we walked out in the sun. The school day was over, the worst ever if you ask me. She stopped walking and grabbed my arm.
“What did you say?”
“Draco and I aren’t together anymore. We broke up”.
“No, it’s not. Stop joking Pansy, it’s not funny”.
“I’m not joking, Daphne. It’s true. It’s over”. I sat down on a bench and stared down at the ground. “It’s really over”.
“Why? What happened?” She sat down next to me and took my hand.
“We had a fight. I said I was sick of him flirting with every girl at this school, he said he was sick of me complaining about it. Because he doesn’t flirt with anyone, he says. I’m his girl. He lies”.
“Pansy, it’s just the way he is. He doesn’t mean anything about it, you know that”.
“If it doesn’t mean anything, why is he doing it then? Can you tell me that Daphne? Why the hell does he flirt with all of those girls, because he does, if it doesn’t mean anything? Can’t he just stop with it? Is that so hard?”
“I... I don’t know, Pansy. But he has always been like that, you know that”.
“I know that! But he knows he has a girlfriend, me! We’re together! A couple! You don’t flirt with other girls when you have a girlfriend; it’s just the way things are. Why doesn’t he get that?” Daphne holds an arm around me.
“I don’t know, Pansy. I’m really, really sorry you’re not together anymore. But everything will be okay”.
“Yes it will. Draco will come to his senses. He likes you, I know he does. Everything will be okay”. I didn’t believe her, but right now I didn’t have the energy to argue. Maybe Daphne was right, maybe Draco would apologize for being a git and come back to me. However, the odds were really small, so it’s nothing to hope for. We are over. I just know it.
Draco and I didn’t speak for over two weeks. It was horrible. I saw him all the time, at the Slytherin table in the Great Hall, in the classes, in the Common Room, in the corridors, everywhere. In one way, I liked it. I missed him deeply, but on the other hand; I hated him for being such a stupid git. I have some classes without him, and they are both the best and the worst. Good because I don’t need to be reminded that he is no longer mine, bad because I miss what we had, I miss him. Obviously we no longer sit with each other during meals, he sits with Blaise and I sit with Daphne. Well, he doesn’t just sit with Blaise, there are always some girls who flirt and want his attention, and many of them get what they want. Our break up doesn’t seem to influence him at all, and that kills me. Didn’t I mean anything to him? Was I just a random girl to him? Another girl to flirt, kiss and sleep with? Yes, we were a couple, and Draco doesn’t have girlfriends, so I thought I was an exception. Maybe I was wrong, it seems like I was. Daphne was wrong too. “He likes you”, she said. “He will take you back”. Yeah right, I can see that! He hasn’t talked to me, and when I try, he just ignores me. The only thing he has said to me is that he rather would have a conversation with Granger than with me. I didn’t know how to react, I just stood there. He couldn’t be serious, could he? It’s Granger for God’s sake. I hate him. And her.
“Parkinson?” I hear a voice saying my name. It’s a voice I have wanted to hear for more than two weeks now, a voice I could listen to for the rest of my life. I turn around, and there he stands, Draco Malfoy, the one I love more than anyone else in the whole world. “How are you?” he smirks. I stare at him. We have broken up, he hasn’t talked to me for two weeks, and the first he says is ‘how are you?’ What a git. So I just raise my eyebrow and say nothing. “I’m sorry, you know. For everything. I have been so stupid”. Really? He thinks that? “For God’s sake Pansy, say something!”
“I have nothing to say to you”, I answer. What? Did I just say that? I’m still madly in love with him, and all I really want is to throw myself around his neck and kiss him, but I still have some respect for myself. I don’t want to seem desperate.
“Come on, Pansy. Can’t we just forget about everything and start over?”
“Forget everything? Just like that? No, Draco, we can’t. You have ignored me for more than two weeks, and now you come and ask me to forget everything! You have to work for it Draco. Don’t come here and believe that I will come straight back to you. Because I won’t”.
He stares at me. He seems a bit shocked actually; maybe he thought I was one of those girls who just forgot about the past if a boy asked them to. Well, I’m not. “Pansy, I...” He struggles finding the words. I’m enjoying it. Not everyone can manage to make Draco Malfoy speechless. He walks towards me; we're standing really close to each other now. I take a step backward; I don’t want to stand that close. “I’m sorry”, he says and looks me straight in my eyes. His grey, beautiful eyes with a hint of silver almost knock me down. I’ve almost forgot how beautiful his eyes were. “I’m really, really sorry. I know I’ve hurt you, but I didn’t realise it when we were together. I have always flirted with girls, so I couldn’t understand why it bothered you so much. It was who I am, you know? If you wanted to be with me, you had to accept it. I thought like that. Now I’ve understood that it was wrong. I couldn’t treat you like that! It was wrong, nothing else but wrong. I have realised it now. And I’m sorry, Pansy. I hope you will believe me, because it’s the truth. I understand if you don’t want anything to do with me, but if you want to try over again, I’m here”. He smiled a little smile. “Just so you know”. Then he kissed my cheek and walked away.
I just stood there, unable to say or do anything. I was in shock. Draco Malfoy had just apologised to me, and it seemed like he really meant it. I couldn’t believe it was true. It was too unrealistic. I had just seen a side of him I’ve never seen before, a vulnerable and sensitive side. A part of me wanted to run after him, take his hand and kiss him until I lose my breath. The other part was more sceptical, I couldn’t be sure of that he would stop flirting with other girls, stop being so damn charming and smile his special smile. Maybe he stopped for a month, maybe two, but then we were back to the same, normal behaviour. I had to choose. Should I give another chance? Did he deserve it? Did he actually care about me?
A/N: So, what do you think? Should Pansy give Draco another chance? Next chapter is probably the last, but I'll be happy for some of your opinions!
Thanks to Danielle for being my editor!
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