A/N: I don't own the rights to any of the mentioned songs, or to the Harry Potter books.
Lily sat by herself on the way back home, which was a normal occurrence. She was shy, there’s no denying, but she also enjoyed being on her own a lot of the time. It was something of a comfort to the youngest Potter, when she could just be alone with her thoughts; just her own, that is. It was unusual for anyone to disturb her in her compartment, as despite her small stature and unintimidating look, no one can deny her similarities to Ginny Potter who is someone much revered –and feared- for her hexes. So anyone that didn’t know Lily well, would not intrude, and those that did know her well, knew that she was by herself out of choice on these occasions.
In this time to herself, Lily listened to her music (on this crazy iPod thing that her Uncle Dudley got her) and wrote in her journal (Lily wrote down everything). This was where Lily was able to collect herself and prepare for the two weeks ahead of her, and write down all of the different things that she had heard over the past few days. Obviously, with a gift like Lily’s she couldn’t remember everything that all of Hogwarts has thought, but every school night she tended to write down the important things, or anything that had really been on her mind. (Though she as adamant that it as not a diary.)
The populace of Hogwarts had been focused on James Sirius Potter and the Ball the next day (Saturday). Lily had left the ball shortly after her dance with Lorcan. Of course, she had first had to go and talk to Albus about his public displays of affection when Lily was part of that ‘public’. It had been pleasant enough, but Albus hadn’t even had the sense to act bashful- nope he was proud. Lily had been tempted to slap him, but that would have meant skin contact and she did not want to see inside her brothers head when she knew he would be thinking about the girl that had just suggested that they continue their ‘meeting’ in a broom cupboard to get more privacy. Even without a slap, Lily was able to get her point across and Al had obliged with the girls request, pointing out that Lily would not be watching then, even if she did seem disgusted with the thought.
From what she had heard, the big news from the ball was her brother and Effie’s becoming ‘official.’ Antony had been surprisingly fine with this news, almost as if he had suspected something (which the majority of the Hogwarts population had, to be fair). None of the girls that James had wrapped around his finger seemed to mind, either, which Lily had not expected. Usually they would have serious issues when James asked somebody to go out with him, whether it was one date or to be his girlfriend. Again, this must prove that Hogwarts’ students were more perceptive than Lily gave them credit for.
After the big kiss at the ball, James and Effie had gone back to their normal interactions, (which Dom, Freddie and Smithy were all overjoyed about) but with more kissing and touching (which the three previously mentioned was not as happy about). Along with the ‘acting normal’ Effie would visit the Potter household during the Christmas break, as she had for the two previous years as well, so she and James would be in for a great amount of teasing. The adults were usually more up to date with the gossip than the children, due to all of the different sources of information, so it was pretty much assumed that they would all know by the time James stepped off of the Hogwarts Express.
So Lily wrote all of this in her journal, as well as some random facts about those outside of her family. She then looked back in her journal over what had been happening at the time last year. She remembered herself being in the exact compartment: 111. It was easy enough for her to remember, but the compartment was not the thing that stuck out in her mind. It was instead what had been happening with James and Effie. She had been dating Antony for four months at the time, but Lily knew that they were about to break up because Effie had lost her virginity to somebody else. Of course, Antony did not and would never know this about his ex.
Even if Lily had not been able to read his mind, from the constant grin on James’ face, Lily would have known that it was him. Effie at least had the decency to look guilty about it all, which Lily knew that she actually was. She still had done it though, so Lily did not forgive the pair straight away. At the time, neither knew that she knew, but she had decided to be no more than civil to them over the break- which Effie spent at the Potters’ house (except for Christmas Eve to Boxing Day which she spent with her own family and then a few days in the new year before school recommenced.)
“Why’re you by yourself?” A voice said, making Lily jump up from her seat and throw her hand over her heart, just to feel the speed at which it was racing in her chest. She smiled up at Lorcan, taking her hand away from her chest and taking out one of her headphones.
Sorry?” She asked, politely. She could have gone the rude route and just demanded ‘what’ but her parents had raised her better than that.
“I asked why you’re by yourself,” Lorcan said with an easy smile. He sat down opposite her with his legs up on the seat, back against the wall, but his eyes never leaving Lily’s face. She returned the smile somewhat hesitantly and shrugged her shoulders. “Well do you want some company?”
Now, despite Lily adamantly refusing the company of her brothers and a few cousins, this seemed like an offer too good to refuse. So, she nodded her head and turned back to her journal, in spite of having already lost her train of thought. She sighed and took her bag from the shelf in her compartment, putting the journal away but leaving her iPod out- it being doubly useful for her. Not only did the iPod provide music to prevent her boredom, but if the volume was loud enough, it helped her block out others’ thoughts.
Lily set her iPod onto shuffle and mirrored Lorcan’s position opposite her. There was a slightly uncomfortable silence between the two. They were neither close nor distant enough for it to be an easy silence. If they knew each other better then the silence could have been cordial, and if they did not know each other at all, it would have been understandable. This was not the relationship between Lily and Lorcan, though, as they were between these two states making the silence somewhat awkward- although both pretended it wasn’t.
“So…” Lorcan began, in order to break the silence. Lily took out one headphone and turned to face Lorcan, her legs falling off of the seat and onto the floor. Lorcan looked at her for a moment before his eyes shifted to the device she was holding. “What kind of music do you have?”
Lily was only ever known to truly free when she was with her mother or when she played Quidditch. This is only because nobody saw here when she had her music with her, nobody ever saw her when she was alone and letting the beats, the melodies, the lyrics encompass her in a warm embrace. Lily’s smile was slow and unsure, despite her feelings towards music. Somebody looking through your music almost felt like an invasion of privacy, and she was certain that Lorcan would disagree with her tastes. So she simply shrugged.
Lily Luna Potter was an evasive girl, and had been for her whole childhood; actually, just since she made what others thought of her important. Lorcan knew this about his semi-friend and was undeterred by her movement. He smirked a boyish smirk and moved to sit next to her, an action which caused the widening of Lily’s beautiful hazel eyes and her to shift to the side slightly. Lorcan pretended not to notice her action and took the earphone the hung down from Lily’s shoulder, almost dislodging the one still in her ear. He placed the bud in his own ear and leant back against the seat as if it was nothing out of the ordinary.
It took her a moment, but Lily leant back, too. She decided she was not going to be her awkward quiet self with Lorcan. She decided that she was going to be cool and easy-going, so she let him do whatever he wanted and she sat there enjoying her music.
“The Beatles?” Lorcan asked when Lily played the music, “Old school, much, Lily?”
Lily answered again by shrugging her shoulders, but allowed a smile to fleet across her face. Lily’s easy-going facade was almost broken when Lorcan allowed her hand to rest in the space between then, his fingers lightly brushing the back of her hand. When Lily didn’t immediately retract her hand, his fingers slid over her hold hand and began to trace circles in her palm.
sweet, she’s not pulling away. Play it cool, Lorcan, and don’t mess this up. Na, Na, Na, Na, heey Jude. Yeah, I really shouldn’t ever sing aloud. Especially not in front of Lily. Note to self: never sing in front of Lily.
Only a few moments after Lorcan could just be heard singing softly. He quickly stopped tracing patterns on Lily’s hand and looked up to the redhead to see if she had noticed. She smiled at him and he rolled his eyes as the next song came on. The calmness in the compartment seemed to return, and Lily decided to be brave and take up Lorcan’s role and trace a finger softly over the back of Lorcan’s hand.
Note to self: perhaps writing down future notes to self would work better. Well, it’s not that bad; Lily’s consciously and happily touching me! That kind of tickles, but in a nice way. I may fall asleep. What’s this song?
Tempted as she was, Lily did not tell Lorcan the name of the song, but he soon began singing it in his head. She stopped tickling his hand for a moment to skip the song. Apparently he was a fan of the Beatles, so she flicked through her ‘B’s until she found ‘Blackbird’ and selected it. The moment she put her hand on the seat, Lorcan took back the job and was moving a couple of fingers lightly across the delicate skin at the back of Lily’s hand. He then flipped her hand over to trace the lines of her palm.
I wish I knew how to read palms. That’d be cool. And impressive. And cool. Wait. Did I already think that? To be fair to my addled brain, it would be cool. I could read Lily’s palm right now, tell her future. Would she like to know her future? Everyone must be curious, I know I am.
Lorcan’s thoughts drifted into thoughts about his future and Lily allowed them to wash over her. She rested her head to the side, enjoying the feeling of Lorcan’s touch. Lily’s eyes closed over as she slipped into unconsciousness, still with Lorcan’s thoughts mixed with hers.
Lily woke with a jolt as rock song came on. It had started innocently enough, but then the band members felt it necessary to scream the lyrics at the sleeping redhead. The headphone fell from Lily’s ear as she sat bolt upright and looked into the eyes of Effie MacArthur. She smirked a very James Potter smirk and looked at Lorcan and Lily’s intertwined fingers. Lily flushed scarlet but didn’t retract her hand, enjoying the buzzing of Lorcan’s dreams in the back of her mind. She lifted her other hand to check the time and realised she had been asleep for about two hours (in which time her head had ended up on Lorcan’s shoulder, they had ended up holding hands and he had also fallen asleep, but the iPod had continued playing without its listeners).
“What do we have here, Miss Potter?” Effie asked her boyfriend’s sister with a wink. “I’ll bet you’re glad that I offered to come and get you after James called one of his Christmas family meetings, hm?”
“How long have you been here?” Lily asked, avoiding Effie’s questions. An image of her own face swam into her mind and she tuned back in to Lorcan’s thoughts. He was dreaming about her- in a nonsensical way but still about her.
“Somebody’s snappish. Do you need a hug, Lilykins?” Effie said with a grin, “oh wait, looks like Lorcan here beat me to it.”
“Enough,” Lily said as she delicately took her hand out of Lorcan’s grasp, trying not to wake him. “Let’s go, McArthur.”
Effie would have been worried that Lily was upset with her if she had not smiled a genuine smile when she grasped her hand and pulled her out of compartment 111. Lily refused to look at Effie in the face until they were outside the compartment that Lily knew would be the venue for the ‘family meeting’ where she whipped around and fixed Effie with a stern glare. Lily then put a single finger to her lips and slid open the compartment door.
“God, Effie, it took you long enough,” James said upon seeing his girlfriend. He looked to his watch before continuing. “You’ve been gone for like twenty minutes.”
“Well, Potter,” Effie said, raising both of her light eyebrows at him. (It would have been just one, but she was yet to master this skill that James so often flaunted in her face.) “The littlest potter, here, was asleep. It looked like she just didn’t want to get up.”
Effie finished with a wink at Lily, who was sat on the floor next to Roxanne and in front of Louis. Louis patted her head in greeting, which Lily chose to ignore. James just sighed and pulled Effie to sit on his lap (she really didn’t have a choice and the compartment was fit to burst with all of the people who would be spending Christmas in a Weasley/Potter home.)
“Now that everyone is here,” James began with a pointed look at Lily, who, instead of returning it, was glaring at the girl sitting on top of her eldest brother. “We can begin our annual Christmas Meeting.”
Lily heard Roxanne groan, but only in her head. Biting her lip to stop herself from smiling, she looked back up to James.
Don’t punch him. Don’t punch him. It would be immoral to punch James. He’s your cousin. Don’t punch him
“We have a few topics we need to discuss here Weasleys and Potters”
Don’t punch him. Lily patted Roxanne’s arm comfortingly. She knew that Roxanne felt like she was going to throw up at any second and was not looking forward to James dragging out this meeting unnecessary. After all, it was not really necessary to have a meeting in the first place. It was in a compartment that could fit around six reasonably-sized people. Only it contained thirteen people. thirteen.
“So firstly, the relationship between one James Sirius Potter and Euph-” Effie elbowed James in his side and he coughed before continuing his spiel. “Effie McArthur will henceforth not be mentioned when any adults are around. Or ever, for that matter because we all know how they like to eavesdrop”
just live in your little denial, Potter. We all know that they’ll already know about it. And if they don’t I’m going to fucking tell them if you let this meeting go on any longer
There were nods from everyone who James could lock eyes with (i.e. everyone except Roxanne). Lily began rubbing Roxanne’s arm in a vain attempt to calm her. Roxanne felt her stomach lurch and coughed hastily to control the bile and keep herself out of an uncomfortable situation in which she threw up on her relatives.
“Secondly, we need to talk about the New Year’s Eve party…”
Lily only heard the start of James’s next speech as her senses turned back to her cousin.
Maybe I should throw up on James; it would make him shut up. Actually, I shouldn’t live in denial- he’d keep going, he lives for this bossing everyone around. Fuck, here it comes again
Lily stood up abruptly and grabbed Roxanne’s hand, pulling her up. She looked to James and fixed him with a ‘Ginny Weasley’ look that dared him to defy her. “Roxanne and I will be leaving now.”
She could feel Roxanne’s anger at James fuelling her mood, but decided that this was good for her confidence. She never spoke up at these so-called ‘meetings’. Really they were just James prattling on as if he owned the people present, with his two sidekicks ready and willing, flanking him. This year had the addition of Effie on his lap, though. She grinned at Lily and cleared her throat, a mischievous twinkle in her eye.
“Surely there’s something you want tell this little group before you go, Lily?” Effie said with a waggle of her eyebrows.
“Enough, Euphemia” Lily said, harshly. She knew that everyone was taken aback by her actions, especially Roxanne.
that is right, back down James’ little right-hand man, well girl. Whatever. That was weird, good on you, Lily. I’ve never seen her stick up for herself like that. Wonder what Effie was talking about, never mind. I’m definitely going to throw up now. I don’t think I can reach James from over here. Thank god for lily, we should probably be running to the bathrooms right about now
Lily pulled Roxanne just as her stomach lurched again. Thankfully, they were moving too fast and made it to the toilets in time. They may have shoved into a few people on the way and definitely skipped a girl before Lily threw Roxanne into the bathroom and heard the distinct sound of her cousin vomiting. Lily closed the door in front of her and leant against the toilet door, facing the girl whom she’d skipped, who looked revolted. She didn’t even seem to mind that she’d been skipped, instead deciding that she didn’t need the bathroom too badly, after all.
After hearing the tap running, Lily opened the toilet door to watch her cousin. Roxanne was washing out her mouth and then her hands. Lily raised an eyebrow at her cousin, something that all of the Potters had mastered eventually, but refused to teach anyone else. In fact, it’s a pretty un-teachable skill to have in your repertoire. Roxanne looked torn for a moment before flinging her arms around Lily and pulling her into a tight hug.
Lily will know what to do. She may be younger, but she’s smarter than me. Hell, she’s probably smarter than all of us.
Lily smiled into her cousin’s dark hair at her thoughts, trying to ignore the worried undertone of them
and perceptive. Fuck. She probably already knows
Roxanne hugged her tighter, and Lily couldn’t ignore the worry that Roxanne was dealing with now.
Just say it. I’m pregnant, Lily. Out loud would be cool, too. Maybe get the message across a bit better? Fuck it, I can’t tell her. What kind of sixteen year old gets pregnant? What kind of fifth-year gets pregnant? I’m going to die
Lily gasped, no longer in control of her lungs, apparently. She stared wide-eyed at the wall in front of her, still holding on to Roxanne, but now knowing exactly why Roxanne was thinking what she was thinking.
As they pulled into King’s Cross, Lily pulled back from Roxanne and stared at her, straight into those deep, dark eyes and hoping that Roxanne would be able to say it. “Roxy?”
“Fine. I’m fine now, Lily. There’s no need to worry about little old me. I’m just fine. Fine and dandy- that’s me,” Roxanne said in a rush. Lily sighed but nodded, making her way back to compartment 111 with too many thoughts in her head for her to truly consider what she would be met with when she opened the door.
She jumped back as she saw the boy standing in front of her, just about to exit. Lorcan looked back at her for a moment before he smiled at her, a genuine I’m-glad-its-you-who-just-scared-the-hell-out-of-me-by-opening-a-door-that-I-was-about-to smile. Lily smiled back up at him, and moved into the compartment to get her trunk. She stood on the seat before Lorcan lifted it off for her.
“Thanks,” Lily said with a breathy voice. She hadn’t realised that she was about to cry, which was becoming a far too regular occurrence for her liking, until she heard her own voice and saw the worry in her Lorcan’s eyes. He let go of her trunk and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. She didn’t react at first, except to let a few tears fall. She sniffled and wiped at her eyes with her sleeve, thoughts of Roxanne still in her mind.
wow. What do I do? Just hug her? That could get awkward; she’s not even hugging me back. Should I let go?
Lily wrapped her arms around Lorcan’s waist, not wanting to let go of her only comfort in that moment. She wondered what Roxanne must have been feeling, asking herself a billion questions and feeling bad about not realising earlier. She wondered if it was that guy from the Ball, but from what Lily knew that had been there first meeting and was two days before Roxanne knew she was pregnant. Lily was certain that this was not enough time to be considered pregnant, or know about it.
Ok good, so keep holding her. She’s not crying…so why am I hugging her, now? Best not let this opportunity go to waste. Her hairs so soft. This smells good.
As people started moving off the train, Lily reluctantly let go of Lorcan and he kissed the top of her head. He smiled and turned around with an awkward half-wave. Lily then picked up one end of her trunk, wheeling it out of her compartment and down the hall.
“Lily,” she heard Lorcan call. She turned in the direction his voice came from, and noticed her iPod in his hand. He smiled as she took it and put it in her pocket. “I’ll see you at the party?”
It shouldn’t really have been a question as the party was at her house, and each had been in attendance since before they even entered Hogwarts, due to the parents forcing James to invite friends and family friends the first year he had begun inviting students (before it had really been his parent’s party, but since thirteen he had been allowed to invite his friends and since fifteen it had actually become his party and the adults went to the Weasley’s house just across the lake). Nonetheless, Lily nodded her head and turned to leave.
As she hopped off of the train, her trunk clattering loudly down the metal steps, her eyes scanned the crowd for her parents. She saw the red hair first, and knew exactly which head belonged to her mother. Dropping her trunk a few metres away, she leapt into Ginny potter’s open arms and knew that she was home.
A/N: I’m sorry that I took quite a while to update but I’m not happy with most of this chapter. BUT I like my cute moments, and I hope you do too, so I put in a Lorcan/Lily moment. & I did warn you that TOM was visiting so Lily’s hypersensitive and slightly emotional in this chapter and will be throughout Christmas. Plus with her being able to read minds she often shares feeling with the person she’s reading.
Let me know what you thought. What do you think of Effie? Is she coming across quite nasty? And what do you think of the Roxanne revelation? Excited about fake (five more months for us in real life…sad times) Christmas?
Next chapter should be fun, getting an insight into the family dynamic and see some Ginny/Lily because they’re really close. It will be pretty Lorcan-less, but lots of the rest of the Potter-Weasley gang to (kind of) make up for it. Sorry, sorry. Life is getting in the way of my writing this story... But when I decide to completely give up on school and accept my inevitable failure, this will be updated. I'll try on work on it slowly but get some stuff out.
& wow : 1000 reads! YAY
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