"Yeah, that makes me want to talk to you now, Al," Achilles grumbled sarcastically. Me and Al were getting irritated with Achilles' vacant expression.
"Well, it better. I'm trying to talk to you!" Al yelled loudly into Achilles' ear. Achilles vaguely reached up and rubbed his ear but his eyes didn't leave the couple sitting across the Great Hall.
I'll give you a gold star if you can guess who it is.
"Oh for God's sake, Achilles," I snapped, slapping him lightly across his face so that he was no longer staring at Rose and Scorpius playing footsies under the Slytherin table. He looked at me with his big honey brown puppy eyes. I growled angrily at him. "Stop torturing yourself. Staring at them isn't going to make them break up."
"But if I stop looking at them," Achilles started looking back over to them who were still in the same position they were in before, "They might start shagging and I won't be able to stop them."
"Shagging?" I asked incredulously. "Shagging where? On the table? I think the teachers might object to that. The students eating on the table definitely would..."
"Mate, there's really no point in staring at them," Al said kindly, going for the comforting attempt rahter than my harsh one. "It's just making you miserable. You need to forget about them and think about something else. We have the Slytherin game tomorrow, you should focus on that instead."
"Who cares about Quidditch?" Achilles replied dejectedly, and Al gasped scandalized. Even I was a little offended.
"Bite your tongue!" Al hissed in outrage, lowering his voice as if it were some huge scandal (which it kind of was). "If James heard you say that, he'd kick you off the team faster than you can say 'Gryffindor Wins'."
"Why would you be saying 'Gryffindor Wins' if we didn't even have our keeper?" I pondered but was of course, ignored.
"It doesn't even matter," Achilles groaned, thumping his head on the table. "She won't even be cheering for me. She'll be cheering for her bloody boyfriend-"
"I'll disown Rose if she isn't cheering for us," Al retorted seriously, cutting Achilles off. "Half of her family is on the team. If she cheers for that git-face, she is officially no longer a part of my family and I'm sure all other members of our family woud agree."
"Why should I even play?" Achilles asked as he pounded his head onto the table repetitively. At this point, I was concerned for his mental sanity (and because he was probably losing brain cells). "What do I even have to live for?"
"Don't you think that's a little extreme, Achilles?" I asked thoughtfully, over the thumping of his thick head hitting the thick table.
"It is not," he groaned pathetically, without lifting his head. "No one will ever love me. I'm gonna die alone-"
"This is definitely too extreme."
"Mate, you need to calm down," Al reasoned, reaching across the table, patting Achilles' arm sympathetically. "You'll definitely be able to get a girl."
"No other girl matters except Rose-"
"Oh seriously, dude, calm down," I groaned, rolling my eyes at his outrageous behaviour, getting more annoyed by the second. "You sound like a girl. You barely even know Rose."
"I know that she's the only one who has ever made me feel happy-"
"Clearly we are chopped liver," Al said knowingly at me, shaking his head sadly. I nearly stuffed my whole fist in my mouth to stop myself from laughing. "Since we have absolutely no meaning in his life."
"And my best friend and sister are going to get married-"
I nearly choked on my fist that was stuffed in my mouth. I hacked and I coughed as I felt blood fill through my cheeks as I tried to avoid looking at Al at all costs, even though I could see him looking at me. The only thing racing through my mind was how badly I was going to kill Achilles after.
"And once again, I am going to be left alone," Achilles finished sadly, completely oblivious to the fact that I was plotting his death.
I'm thinking I roll him around in meat and feed him to Fang.
That poor old dog needs it.
Seriously, how is he not dead yet?
He has to be a magical dog.
"Mate," Al started understandingly. "Even if me and Fruity get married-"
My eyes snapped quickly over to Al but his expression was unreadable as he tried to calm Achilles by patting his back supportively.
Dammit, Al. Why don't you just tell me that you want to marry me and want me to have your children?
That would make my life a whole hell of a lot easier.
I guess I'll have to take his silence as a proclamation of his ever lasting love.
"It doesn't mean we're going to let you die alone," Al continued logically. "If for some unknown reason, you don't find a girl, we're still gonna be here for you-"
"And anyways, I'm the most important girl in your life," I pointed out with a big grin, prodding Achilles with my finger. "Who cares if you don't find some bird? You have me, and I'm way cooler than any girl that you would ever find. Right, Al?"
"Shut up, Al. I'm not marrying you anymore."
"What did I even do?"
"Achilles," I continued, brushing off Al entirely, not wanting to finish our embarassing conversation. "Everything will work itself. If Rose is too stupid to realize what kind of guy you are, she is not worth it. It's her loss. She can spend the rest of her life with Malfoy, who is probably a nose picker-"
"And how do you deduce that?" Al asked amused, staring at me with a funny expression.
"Look at that nose! It's massive! There's probably so many buggers in there, he doesn't even know what to do with them!" I explained logically, but Al continued to stare at me as if I had just announced that I was going to run through the castle in nothing but my knickers.
Even though I wouldn't do that.
Because that, my friends, is public indecency.
"You're genuinely insane, did you know that?"
"There's so much love in this room."
"You two suck at pep talks," Achilles added in.
"Oi," I yelled indignantly, genuinely insulted. "I am freaking fantastic at pep talks!"
"Then why do I still feel like shit?" Achilles questioned.
"Because you're dumb!"
"You are a masterful debater."
"I do try," I said dryly.
"Well, as fun as you two have been, I'm going to go drown myself in my lonliness," Achilles announced, getting to his feet. "I'll see you at practice." Achilles looked once more at Rose and Scorpius with a blank expression, then sulked out of the Great Hall.
"Keep an eye on Scorpius," Al muttered as soon as Achilles was out of ear shot. "I'm certain that he'll be going to the Room of Requirement again."
"Certain?" I questioned, looking at Al.
"He disappeared again early this morning," Al continued. I gave him a questioning look. "I checked before the sun had even gone up and I couldn't find him anywhere."
"So I'm guessing the agenda for today will be stalking Mr Scorpius Malfoy."
I groaned. The stupid shennanigans I get myself into for my brother's sake.
"What is it about year that makes everybody obsessed with dating?" I sighed tiredly.
"What do you mean?" Al asked, looking at me, tilting his head in confusion.
"Everybody dates in sixth year," I continued. "Think about it. Victoire and Teddy? When did they start dating?"
"In Victoire's sixth year," Al answered.
"When did James start dating Belle?"
"When did your parents start dating?"
"Christ, Fruity, I get it," Al said laughing, stopping me from finishing my very confincing argument. "Well, not everyone. We're not dating anyone."
"There's always exceptions," I said dismissively, shrugging my shoulders, hoping that Al didn't go anywhere near an uncomfortable topic. I definitely did not want to talk about my feelings at the moment.
"I'm glad you're an exception," Al added grinning at me, making my stomach lurch hopefully. Does this mean that he's going to declare his everlasting love for me?
Hey, a girl can dream, right?
"I'm not ready for some bloke to steal you away from me just yet," Al said, ruffling my hand playfully.
"Please, Al," I said, rolling my eyes, trying to act cool, even though my heart was pounding. "No bloke is ever going to steal me away from you," I pondered it for a bit. "Unless you ditch me for some bird, then I'm definitely ditching you."
"No worries about that," Al laughed, dismissing my idea. "If any girl takes away my Fruity time, she's not for me."
"Good answer," I said quietly, with a content smile looking straight into his emerald green eyes.
"Don't worry, Fruity," Al said, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. "I'm not going anywhere."
"Good," I said with a grin, letting my heart flutter in my chest. "You better not ever leave me. I'll kil you if you do."
Suddenly, Al whipped his head around quickly. I looked around alarmed, but Al simply stood up and offered me his hand.
"Come on, Scorpius is on the move."
"Oh, bugger, Al! That was my foot!"
"Sorry," Al whispered as we shuffled quietly behind Scorpius, "I guess we've gotten a little too big for the invisibility cloak."
"Really?" I hissed back sarcastically, pressed up against Al's chest (not like I was complaining). "The thought hadn't occured to me!"
"Is there a 'sarcastic off' button?"
"What am I sucking exactly?"
"Shut up, Al," I snapped quietly. Malfoy looked around curiously, stopping in his tracks. I held my breath as Malfoy turned around and continued on his way.
"Keep the noise level to a minimum, Al," I grunted to him as his chest shook as he laughed.
"Why does it even matter? He'll just think he's crazy for hearing voices in an empty corridor," Al tried to point out smartly.
"Unless he realizes someone has been following him," I retorted.
"Will you stop saying that?" I growled. "People are going to start think we're friends."
"You are so mean to me," Al pouted immaturely while I tried to pull him along with me as Malfoy picked up his pace.
"Al, Malfoy's getting away," I whined, pulling him with me without much difficulty.
"You worry too much."
"You don't worry enough."
"Will you shut up!?"
Malfoy looked around again, more paranoid than the first time. I held my breath as Malfoy refused to move and remained firmly planted on the floor. Al's leveled breathing tickled my ear and I tried not to giggle.
Malfoy shook his head like a dog trying to shake water from his ears. "I must be losing my mind," he muttered, scratching his head vaguely. He walked hesitantly forward, glancing backward every few steps.
"It's a good thing Malfoy doubts his sanity," Al grunted, his lips briefly brushing my ear very briefly.
"It's too bad that you won't shut up," I snapped back. "And you think that I jeopardize missions."
"At least I don't fall over whilst walking."
"I fall down the stairs one time and you never let me live it down."
"It was quite a memorable fall down the stairs," Al said brightly.
"I hate you."
"We're not going to the room," Al said suddenly, grabbing my hand and stopping me. Al was right, we were heading down the stairs into the dungeons.
"We're heading to the Slytherin Common Room," I hissed worriedly, "We need to go back."
"Keep following him," Al ordered. "There's something up and we may find out by going into the Common Room."
The farther down the stairs we travelled and the closer to the dungeons we got, the greener the light became. The walls looked cold uncaring and dark. There was a creepiness to the dungeons that made goosebumbs arise from my arms. It seemed as though hundreds of years of secrets were burried deep beneath Hogwarts. I had never once gone to the dungeons in my six years at Hogwarts and I so desperately hoped I would never have to go back.
I had a chilling feeling why most evil wizards came from the Slytherin House.
"Fruity, it's okay," Al whispered comfortingly into my ear and I felt warmness spread to my fingers that I didn't realize had gone cold. I slowly let my breath out.
"I don't like it here," I said simply, my voice trembling a little. "It's too dark."
"It's okay," Al repeated, grabbing my hand with his. "We're almost there."
As Al was finishing saying this, Malfoy uttered the word, "Parsletongue." A door swung open from the wall revealing the Slytherin Common Room.
At this point, my heart stopped altogether.
The room, like the corridors in the dungeons, was cold and dark. The furniture was hard and metal, looking like no one could live there. I thanked the sorting hat for puting me into Gryffindor.
"Scorp," a tall, thin, black haired boy who I recognized to be Andrew Davies greeted Malfoy from a leather couch. "How's Rose doing?"
"Good," Malfoy replied curtly with a nod of his head.
"She was good, eh?" Davies chuckled, an eyebrow cocking suggestively.
"Fucking wanker," Al hissed, clenching his fists menacingly.
"Down, boy," I muttered, ignoring Al's outburst.
"We haven't quite gotten there, yet," Malfoy retorted with a smirk as he sat across from Davies.
"She likes to take it slow," Davies commented, and I so desperately wanted to wring his pretty little throat.
"First boyfriend," Malfoy remarked casually with a shrug of his shoulders. "She doesn't want to go too quickly."
"You've been dating all summer."
"ALL SUMMER?" Al whisper-yelled. "That fucking bastard."
"Al," I warned quietly, as his voice became louder and louder.
"That's only two months, mate," Malfoy pointed out. "That's not very long."
"Michelle put out after the first week."
"That's because Michelle Corner is remarkably stupid."
"Oi! That's my girlfriend you're talking about!"
"Doesn't make her any less stupid."
"Ugh," Davies grunted. "You probably should just dump the prude."
"I like Rose," Malfoy reminded him, crossing his thin arms over his chest. "I'm not dumping her because you think she's not putting out early enough."
Davies rolled his eyes. "Don't tell me that you don't want to shag her."
"Of course I do."
Al growled like an animal with this response and I had to physically restrain him from leaping onto Malfoy.
"Mate, you are so whipped."
"Please," Malfoy said cockily, "I could get Rose into bed if I wanted to."
"That fucking little mother fucker-"
"That's a little redundant, Al."
"Is that a bet?" Davies challenged, his eyes sparking up in interest.
"I don't bet on my girlfriend."
Davies shrugged passively. "Is she coming to our Quidditch game tomorrow?"
"Fuck," Al cursed in a panic. "Quidditch. James is going to kill me." Al grabbed my arm and yanked it towards the door. We were running out of the Common Room, ignoring the curious calls of Davies and Malfoy as to how the door was opening on its own.
"Fruity, he's going to kill me," Al kept repeating under his breath.
I couldn't even contradict him. Because James Potter II may be lazy, annoying, obnoxious and careless, but if there is one thing he cares about, it's Quidditch.
And James is going to slaughter his seeker for being late.