Chapter 1 : Chapter 1: I Am Just Me… Albus Severus Potter
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As I stare down at the parchment I had been writing on for the last few hours, I realize I have way too many thoughts going through my head. Next year will be my third year at Hogwarts, and I can finally take an elective class in addition to my other subjects. The three classes we have to choose from are Divination, Ancient Runes, and Arithmancy. I already know that I have no interest in Divination at all, leaving me just two to choose from. The problem is that Professor Longbottom told us that our decision had to be made by the last day of term. We were told of the deadline about a week ago, but now it seems like only yesterday.
Professor Longbottom thought it would be a good idea to have us write an essay about ourselves to help us make this important decision. To be honest, I couldn’t figure out how writing an essay could help me decide…until I started writing. We were told to look deep inside ourselves and write about that. I don’t think I’ve ever looked that deeply inside myself before, and as I did, I understood why I don’t. Now as I’ve almost finished the essay I am trying to imagine the look on Professor Longbottom’s face if he actually reads it. All I can hope for is that he won’t treat me differently afterwards, because some of the stuff written on the page will probably shock him. When I think I’ve written just about all I can, I decide to read it over one last time before going to bed.
“A Deep Look at Myself” by Albus Potter
When a take a look inside myself, I see a boy who is struggling with an identity crisis that has been there for as long as I can remember. One identity is the person that everyone else assumes I should be (the clone of my father Harry Potter, aka “The Chosen One”) and the other identity is just plain old me, Albus Severus Potter.
The one thing that I would definitely change about me if I could would be how I look. I look almost EXACTLY like my dad. I’m sure some kids would love to look like their famous dad and be mistaken for him, etc. but I don’t. I hate it when people see me either from behind or at a quick glance and call me Harry! The only difference between my dad and me with regard to our physical appearance is the fact that I don’t wear glasses and my dad is practically blind without his. I cherish this physical difference more than anything in the world because it is the only thing on the surface that makes me Albus. If the day ever comes when that precious difference is taken away, I think I might die a little inside because I will lose the one thing that the outside world can see that makes me….me.
Please don’t misunderstand; I love my dad more than anything. I also know he has been through more in his life than anyone should ever have to endure and he has earned every bit of respect and fame that he has. The problem is that I am not my dad and I am the only one of my siblings who looks just like him, eyes and all. Maybe someday I will embrace the idea of looking like my dad but, at this moment in my life, the resentment of it is a very strong feeling inside me. The desire to be unique is so strong that I don’t even really feel guilty about what I’ve written above.
I do know that my deepest, strongest desire in my whole life is to finally have a true friend who likes me for who I really am on the inside and not for who they think I am because of who I look like or who I’m related to. It is something I have never had in my life and I feel that maybe if I had just one true friend my identity crisis would cease to exist as well.
After reading my essay, I decide that it’s good enough and I think I have decided which class I want to take next year. I know it’s late and I’m beginning to get a headache from staring at the parchment for so long. I put my essay in my bag and get up to head to my dorm. I notice as I’m looking around the room on my way to the stairs that everything looks a little fuzzy. Now I know I’m tired and sleep is the cure. Rubbing my tired eyes, I head toward my dorm and settle in my four-poster for some well deserved sleep.
I woke up the next morning feeling slightly refreshed. It was the last day of term and the big feast is tonight. Then we go home tomorrow morning. I remembered that I had to turn in my essay to Professor Longbottom and tell him that I had made my decision. I had decided to take Ancient Runes. I’ve always liked reading and puzzles and I figured that Runes would be a pleasant combination of both. I also thought it would be really neat to learn a new language. I am a definite bookworm and extremely introverted; a trait which my extroverted brother doesn’t understand which makes summer vacation miserable at times for me. My favorite part of summer break is when I get to go to the muggle library down the lane. It’s nice and quiet there and it helps me get in tune with myself. I can’t wait to see what non-magical things I can learn this summer!
I snap myself out of my thoughts, get dressed and go down to the common room to meet my cousin Rose to go down for breakfast.
“Did you finally get your essay done for Professor Longbottom? Have you decided what class you’re going to take yet? I think I’m going to take Arithmancy since I’ve always like working with numbers,” rambled Rose.
“Yes….Yes…and congrats on your decision! I’ve decided to take Ancient Runes for my elective,” I replied. Rose gave me a sad look. I’m sure she was hoping we’d be in the same class, but she’ll have to get used to it because I’m not changing my mind. “C’mon, let’s go down to breakfast,” I said grabbing her arm and leading her out the portrait hole.
I finished eating my breakfast and looked up at the clock on the wall to see how much time I had left until we were supposed to see Professor Longbottom at 9:30. Clearly the fuzziness in my eyes hadn’t yet cleared up from going to bed so late last night because I was having a hard time reading it, but eventually I figured out that it was only 9:00. I had 30 minutes to kill so I decided to read my essay one more time.
All I could think of after reading my words was that, if the person reading this didn’t really know me, they would assume I was a very unappreciative, vain person. That is so far from the truth. I am not vain at all and I am thankful for everything I have.
I’ve seen people obsess about what they look like and practically go into hiding if they get a pimple or whatever. I really don’t care what I look like. My hair always sticks up everywhere; zits don’t bother me, etc. I remember my sister Lily crying for days when she failed her eye exam and had to get glasses. I don’t know what she was worried about since she’s cute as a button with an awesome personality to match. It wasn’t until she went to go pick them out that she actually thought she might look okay after all. Plus she got all excited because it was something she could have in common with dad. Lily looks like a clone of my mom and she seems to like it, and now she has a bit of dad in her too. I wish I could have just one characteristic that doesn’t scream “Harry Potter” to the public eye, other than perfect eyesight, of course. The only thing that matters to me is my own unique identity, which I haven’t really been able to have because I look so much like my dad.
Time flew by as I sat outside Professor Longbottom’s office lost in my thoughts. The next thing I knew Rose and the other 2nd year Gryffindors were making their way to where I was sitting. It was now time to tell the Professor my decision and get on with my day. Part of me really hoped that, since I had already decided my class for next year, he would have no need to read my essay. Although just writing the essay brought feelings back to the surface that I had buried long ago and didn’t like to think about. Now those feelings were fresh again and I was having a hard time suppressing them. I could not wait to get home and go hide in the muggle library all summer. It was the nicest place for me to go and clear my mind.
Later that afternoon I was upstairs packing my trunk for the ride home. I really hate rushing around at the last minute and I had nothing better to do anyway. I packed the essay that I wrote last night. Since I had decided on my class for next year I didn’t have to show it to Professor Longbottom. Needless to say I was quite relieved to hear that.
Once I had finished packing I grabbed the library book I had checked out last week and headed to the common room to relax and read until it was time to get ready for the feast. I headed down the stairs and made a beeline for my usual spot. It was a window sill that was pretty secluded and let in the perfect amount of light to read by. Settling onto the seat, I opened my book and began reading.
“…Can you believe it? …She’s actually taking Runes? …How lame is that? …I don’t know anyone who is taking Runes. …Everyone knows that Divination is the class to be in. …One would think the way she sticks her wand in her ear that she had a natural antenna or something…”
I looked up from my book when I heard the girls’ voices heading toward the stairs. I had no idea who they were talking about, but it seemed like there would be at least one fellow Gryffindor in my Runes class next year. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that because I’m okay with being alone. Also, I don’t recall anyone who sticks their wand in their ear, not that I really pay attention to most people. It did make me wonder why anyone would stick their wand in their ear. It seemed pretty strange to me.
Sighing, I went back to reading my book.
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