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Loving Lily by Bobby Dazzler
Chapter 1 : One Shot.
 
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You fill up my senses, like a night in the forest,

Like the mountains in springtime, like a walk in the rain,

Like a storm in the desert, like a sleepy blue ocean,

You fill up my senses, come fill me again...

 

The days grow colder, and all I can think of is you.

 

Your name whispered to the night on the slightest sigh of the breeze is enough to stop the beating of my heart until such a time passes when I can dare to breathe once more.  The very thought of you warms the deepest pit of my dark soul, calling me towards the light that you possessed.  How much I would have given to hold you safe and secure in my arms, to protect you from the dangers of the world.  What I would've given to be what you needed in this life, and to have my own feelings returned.

My dreams no longer remain in the world of the living; they died the night that you did.

Your dark auburn hair danced so merely in the zephyr the last time I saw you, reflecting the suns rays that only added to your eternal beauty.  You were happy; I could tell.  Hidden as I was at the time the last occasion my eyes had fallen upon your magnificence, I could see your love of life radiating from your very skin, enhanced by all your movements.  Your smile, your beautiful, heart-stopping smile, was moist and painted in the palest shade of red, glittering contently in the sunlight.  It was all I could do to restrain myself at the mere sight of the temptation it presented and remain hidden in the shadows.  All my heart wanted me to do was to taste those lips that smiled so stunningly to the world you loved so much, just one taste, one unstoppable kiss, before it was all too late.

Your eyes, those emerald green orbs of wonder and mystery, never did look at me in the same way they rested upon him.  Oh, how I wanted just one glance, one lingering glimpse of those deep pools of jade to briefly cross over the dark obsidian plains of my own and hold the same love and admiration within them that you willingly gave to another.  There was a time, perhaps, where you might have been tempted to direct that loving gaze of yours towards me, and then it was lost.  My one chance at fulfilling the deepest desires of my heart had been lost when your eyes hardened and gazed with me with everlasting hatred, all because of one silly, stupid little word that had fallen from my lips.

 

Come let me love you, let me give my life to you,

Let me drown in your laughter, let me die in your arms,

Let me lay down beside you, let me always be with you,

Come let me love you, come love me again...

 

I only ever wanted you to love me, just as I had always loved you.  I wanted to hold you forever in my arms and never let you go.  I wanted to marry you, have children with you, and eventually die, old and grey beside you after a lifetime of love we would share together.  I wanted all of this and more for my own happiness, but I would have laid down my life without hesitation if given the chance if it only meant seeing your glorious smile and hearing your musical laughter once more.

My existence in this world has been an empty shell since you left me behind.  Nothing can compare to the memories of you that have found a home in my heart, never to be lost or forgotten.  No feelings can erase those that you ignited within my soul as you tried to guide me blindfolded into the light, closer to you.  You didn’t realise it, but you gave me further to fall, right back into the all consuming darkness in which I truly belonged, save for the slither of myself you never did return to me.  My heart.

Soon, there will be no more coldness in my life.  My days are numbered, I know this only too well by the shadows that close in around me, calling me home to the black abyss I knew only too well.  I know that when it is my time to join them that there will be no more guilt, no more remorse, and no more lost love to grieve over.  There will simply be nothing.  There will be no more Severus to love your memory at all.

 

You fill up my senses like a night in the forest,

Like the mountains in springtime, like a walk in the rain,

Like a storm in the desert, like a sleepy blue ocean,

You fill up my senses, come fill me again...

 




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