Chapter 6 : Get Over It. Please.
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One day, we’re going to look back on all of this and laugh. Hysterically laugh.
It’ll be like, “Oh hey, remember me when I was a stupid sixteen-year-old? Good times.”
So I shouldn’t feel guilty about this.
Not even a little.
What sucks is that I do.
Just a bit.
…or a lot.
Hundred galleons, Louis, I keep desperately reminding myself when Target laughs and I feel like grinning because she just looks so goddamned happy all the time. And who the hell am I to take that away from her, you know? I’m nothing, really. I have no fucking right.
But then I see Al’s face from across the room, panicked and wide-eyed, and Rose’s satisfied looking smirk because even though Malfoy hates her, she still probably has a chance since she’s so bloody good looking, and I remind myself that it’s just a girl.
So what if I’m going to rip out her heart, tear it into shreds, and then stomp gleefully all over the pieces as I rejoice in my newfound wealth?
She’ll get over it.
So fucked, I can’t even begin to even comprehend how fucked I am.
It’s a choice, really, between making myself feel like lollipops and nursery rhymes for being a good person and letting Target down easy right now before she gets hurt, or getting those 100 Galleons and being able to rub it in Rose’s face for the rest of her life.
But if I have that kind of money, I can just buy myself lollipops. We’ll see about the nursery rhymes. Doubtful about the nursery rhymes. Manly men don’t listen to nursery rhymes.
Nay on the nursery rhymes.
And I get to see Rose for the rest of her life, seeing as she’s my cousin and my best mate.
I’ll get rid of Target in two years.
She’ll move on, find other blokes, fall in love again.
After all, 100 Galleons can last a really freaking long time. Much longer than some dude breaking your heart a bit.
I mean, she’ll definitely get over it. It’s no big deal.
It’s really cool how I can make my guilt go away with a little internal pep talk. Screw Hollywood, I’m writing a Self-Help Book.
It’ll be an instant best-seller, obviously. International shit here. That little motherfucker will be flying off the shelves.
I made a funny.
“Oi, let’s go. Hogsmeade.”
A textbook hit me on the side of my face.
What the fuck, ow.
“Bloody hell, Al, if that leaves a mark I’m going to kill you!”
Al cackled and scampered out of the doorway, so I jumped up off my bed and chased after him. I had him in a kickass headlock in the Common Room (“Ow, gerroff! Christ, Lulu, have you ever even heard of deodorant? I’m dying of asphyxiation here! LET THE FUCK GO OF MY HEAD!” Who the hell says ‘asphyxiation’ when they’re being strangled by their murderous Veela-Werewolf cousin? Al is such a strange kid.), when James came up behind us and gave Al the best wedgie I have witnessed in my entire life.
My new favorite man, right here.
Al pointed his wand at his butt to remove the offending fabric while me and James high-fived like bosses.
“I gotta hand it to you, big brother. That was actually pretty fantastic,” Al laughed, slapping James’ hand.
James grinned. “I win. It’s cool, bro. I came here for our monthly check up, actually. Any news on your Lily-Watch?”
I glanced around surreptitiously before motioning James a bit closer. “I hung out with her a couple days last week. She was mostly working on essays. No blokes, as far as I can tell. She spends too much time in the library.”
James and Al nodded, looking relieved.
“Er,” I started cautiously, “should I even ask about Dominique-Watch?”
James winced and shook his head. “I’m sorry, Lou. Your sister is a slag.” He clapped me on the shoulder as a gesture of support.
I sighed. “It had to be said, my man.”
“I feel like I’ve failed at being a protective brother,” James confided in us sadly.
“Well,” Al shrugged, “seeing as I caught her with three different blokes in the same broom cupboard all in one night, I’d say I have to agree with you.”
JESUS AND MERLIN, THE MENTAL IMAGES. BAD MENTAL IMAGES. MY BRAIN IS DYING.
“I think I’m going to hurl,” I said weakly.
James took that as his cue to leave. “See you next month, bros!”
Why are you giving me that look? Don’t judge. We associate with James other times as well! Like that one day at the Gryffindor Table during dinner, I asked him to give me the chicken. He gave me the chicken, and I said thanks. Then he said you’re welcome.
Intense cousin love, right there.
“Hiya, ready to go?” Rose came up behind us and slipped her arm through mine, already full of excitement for Hogsmeade. She’s always had a weird sort of obsession with the place.
Or maybe it’s just because we’re going to eat lunch with Teddy and Victoire, and, like every other female in my bloody family, she has a bit of a crush on Teddy.
Seriously, the bloke is really lucky us Weasley men consider him a bro. Otherwise he’d be six feet under in pieces.
“Took you long enough,” Al quipped, grinning as Rose wrapped her other arm around his. She rolled her eyes, refusing to let her Teddy-induced good mood ruined.
“She had to get pretty for Ted,” I reminded Al.
“Oh yeah. You know Rose, maybe one day he’ll notice.”
“Fat chance. It’d be like dating a little sister.”
Al snorted out a laugh, and Rose hit us both, her face red.
“Arses,” she said angrily. I got a kick to my shin, but luckily, over the years, I’ve managed to build up an immunity to that sort of pain.
Rose is really violent.
Al and I told her it took away from her feminine wiles.
Our bodies have never really been the same since.
Note to males: do not insult Rose Weasley’s feminine wiles, however lacking they may be. She will injure you painfully and permanently.
Why do women always find the need to squeal when they see me? I mean, I know I’m gorgeous and all, but honestly, it can get detrimental to my eardrums after all this high-pitched –
My breath left my lungs in a huge whoosh of air as Victoire latched herself to my body. Meanwhile, Al and Rose got to greet Teddy as normal human beings, albeit with a bright red face on Rose’s part.
Thanks, life. I appreciate all of this abnormality. I’m sure it’ll be great for my mental health.
“I missed you so much,” Victoire breathed, finally letting go of me and kissing me swiftly on each cheek. Nearby males gave me envious looks. I returned the favor with a cheerful upright middle finger.
“Stop that,” Victoire reprimanded, slapping my arm down. She gave a cursory glance around, and was met with winks, whistles, and waggling eyebrows.
My face is so red with anger I think I might actually develop the ability to shoot lasers out of my skin.
“Fuck off, tossers,” Teddy said loudly. “Leave the pretty Veela girl alone, she’s not interested.”
Victoire’s face matched mine. “Pretty Veela girl,” she echoed under her breath through gritted teeth. “Fucking wanker, I’ll show him fucking pretty Veela girl…”
I only have one sister. Dominique? Who’s Dominique? I don’t know any Dominiques. Dominique Who? WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT. WHAT. WHAAAT.
Seriously, though. Can we please just disown her and be done with it? She’s embarrassing to be associated with.
“Louis, my man,” Teddy greeted as the males became a bit more discreet about their shameless staring. I nodded my head at him in acknowledgement of I am a manly person, and I respect that you too, are a manly person.
It’s pretty legit. Don’t be jealous.
And then Teddy grinned and hugged me. It was all very manly. No homo. Shut up.
“This is real heartwarming and all, but can we please eat? I’m starving.”
Al, always the emotional cripple when it comes to matters of the stomach.
I have to agree with him though.
Victoire laughed. “Come on, you fatarse.” But Al got a kiss on the cheek anyway, which elicited another brief round of jealous glares and middle fingers (though he’s better at it than I am, the little git. Victoire didn’t even notice. What the hell is this injustice?! Shouldn’t the one with two Veela sisters be better at giving the middle finger to other blokes?). Al and Victoire scooted into one side of the booth, leaving me, Teddy and Rose to somehow fit ourselves onto the other side. I ended up with my shoulder pressed against the glass window of Three Broomsticks, and my other one pressed against Rose, who looked as though she had died and gone to heaven.
Seriously, Teddy, you have no idea how lucky you are that we like you so much.
I elbowed Rose in the ribs with some difficulty. Her smile, previously plastered onto her face, disappeared as she glared at me. “What?” she snapped.
“You need to stop being so obvious,” I hissed at her. “It’s embarrassing. Besides, Victoire’s in love with the bloke. Back off a little.”
Rose rolled her eyes. “Of course I know that, you prat. It’s just a Weasley girl thing to be slightly in love with Teddy Lupin. It’s like a part of our guidelines.”
She turned around to stare creepily at Teddy again, and I slammed my head into the window.
Weasley Women. I will never understand you and your convoluted intricacies.
You make no sense to males.
Or humans in general.
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH MY FAMILY.
“So, how’s school?” Victoire asked after we flagged down a waiter and got a round of butterbeers. I shifted my shoulder so that Rose’s lay in front of it. Much more comfortable.
“Great!” Rose piped up before I could open my mouth, “We’re learning about nonverbal spells in Defense, and we’re also doing animal transfiguration and in Charms –”
“Shut up, Rose,” Al cut her mind-numbing tirade off with a bored expression on his face. She threw him an irritated look, which he happily ignored.
“We – that is to say, Rose and I – have a little bet going on,” I said. Teddy leaned forward on the table to look at me, his face alight with excitement.
“What kind of bet?” he asked eagerly.
“It’s sick,” Victoire said flatly. “They’re playing some sort of ridiculous love game –”
“It’s not sick!” I cried indignantly, “It’s brilliant! Besides, Rose came up with it –”
“Oi, don’t go blaming me just because you’re a whore and I get irritated by you guys,” Rose said, smacking my arm.
Victoire’s face froze in a horrified expression. “No. Louis…” she said in a low voice. Her cheeks were slowly blooming pink.
All forces duck and cover for the inevitable Weasley-Veela-Werewolf explosion. Al shot me a panicked look and scooted backwards until he hit the window, which he then proceeded to cower against.
I commend his life-preservation skills. Screw being manly. When a Weasley Woman temper is involved, everyone hide and contact damage control.
“I’m not!” I assured Victoire before she used that temper she was so famous for in school (Fiesty Tori, they used to call her. Teddy still does.). “I swear, I haven’t hooked up with a single bird this entire year!”
Victoire’s face simmered down to normal, and Al slowly inched away from the window and towards her again.
“You are not turning into Dominique,” she told me in a stern voice.
I nodded so hard I felt my brain rattle. “Got it. Done. Deal. Promise. Pinky Swear. Don’t hurt me!”
“He’s more like you, Tor,” Teddy said in a reassuring voice, patting her hand. She blushed lightly (which is Victoire’s equivalent of Rose flaming deep red).
“Get a room,” Al said loudly, watching in disgust as Ted brushed his fingers across the back of her knuckles lightly after finishing the pat-fest.
Victoire smacked the back of Al’s head without looking.
“So…the bet…” I said awkwardly, trying to break the suddenly tense situation.
(I mean, come on! They literally had, like, hand sex! That could be mentally scarring to little brothers, you know.)
“Yeah!” Ted said, pulling his hand back. “What’re the stakes?”
“100 Galleons,” I told him. “I have to get a girl to tell me she loves me, and Rose has to get a guy to tell her that he loves her. First person to get the target to say it wins.”
Teddy broke into gleeful laughter. “Brilliant!”
“Idiotic,” Victoire corrected, glaring at me.
“So, who are the targets?” Ted asked.
Al and I exchanged a smirk. “Rose got Scorpius Malfoy,” I said. Rose hissed out a cuss word next to me. “And I got this girl named Aisha DiMarco. I’m pretty sure she already likes me. It’s pretty funny, actually, to see her reactions when I do something nice–”
Victoire made a disgusted noise in the back of her throat.
“You’re going to hurt her,” she said curtly.
“Just a little!” I defended automatically, “she’ll get over it. She’s only 16, we forget those crushes all the time –”
Victoire stiffened. Shit. I stopped talking.
We don’t forget those crushes all the time.
…do all girls operate this way?
“…erm, that is to say, I won’t be too harsh about it or anything…” I trailed off pathetically. “And besides, she won’t be really in love with me. Because I’m not the kind of person that gets girls to fall in love with them, you know? I’m like one of those heartbreaking womanizers in their eyes, the kind of guy you should never fall for because he’s a rogue –”
“Lou, you’re practically female when it comes to love.”
“Shut up, Al. You bitch.” Way to ruin my awesome rogue-lover rant. I’m badass, not ‘practically female’. Bloody git.
“You’re going to regret doing this to her one day,” Victoire told me ominously, her blue-ish grey eyes stormy, “I’m not going to tell you what to do with your life, Lou, but just know that what goes around comes around. And one day, this is going to come and bite you extremely hard on the arse.”
Thanks a bunch, Torster.
Halfway through our day of fun with Victoire and Teddy, Dom found us.
Joy to the world, my day is now awesome.
“I didn’t know you were coming in to Hogsmeade,” Dom said in an accusing voice after she cornered us outside of a vibrantly pink shop full of girl clothes. I knew we shouldn’t have taken the shortcut to WWW.
“Er…surprise!” Victoire said weakly. Teddy smiled as brightly as he could. Me, Rose and Al tried to blend into the window of the shop.
It didn’t work so well, considering neither of us was wearing pink.
“I could have joined you guys!” Dom exclaimed. She shot Teddy a simpering look. He inched closer to Tori.
You know, I actually just realized that most – if not all – members of our family are ashamed of/strongly dislike Dominique.
This is a sign.
It means we should disown her.
“You never like associating with us during the school year,” Rose pointed out reasonably.
Dom pretended as though Rose hadn’t spoken.
“It’s like I’m not even a part of the family!”
Well, we do like to pretend you’re not.
“Hey, if we were having an all-out Weasley hang day, we would’ve invited you,” Al said, “even though you pretended to be busy for all forty-six of those days we’ve had since we were first years.”
You know, for someone who’s in Ravenclaw, I would expect at least a clever comeback.
Dom flipped her hair around.
Good retort, Dommy. You got me there.
“Well next time, I want in,” she said to us, and with one more nauseating look at Teddy, she flipped her hair some more and walked off.
“Your sister freaks me out,” Ted whispered to Victoire.
“We like to pretend we’re not related to her. Takes a lot of repressive power,” Victoire replied nonchalantly.
“I swear she just got scarier though,” Al noted seriously, “Ted, I think she’s in love with you mate.”
That makes both of my sisters. I am not cool with this.
Teddy just shook his head and laughed. “Let’s just go to Wheezes, guys.”
We were more than happy to agree with him. Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes, just Wheezes for short, is pretty much any cool Weasley’s favorite place on earth.
(And I say cool for a reason – this doesn’t include Dom, Uncle Percy, Molly, or Aunt Audrey. They’re mutants though, so I guess it’s acceptable.)
Uncle George has expanded the business to a bunch of other countries, but he likes to spend most of his time in the one on Diagon Alley. Says it reminds him of Fred. Not the one his wife gave birth to – I’m pretty sure if I were Uncle George, I’d try to forget that Fred. Not that Fred isn’t totally my man. He’s just…crazy – but his twin brother, Fred. But wherever a Weasley goes, they can always get discounted products from the place.
Just because we’re awesome.
And Nana Weasley made him do it.
But I got my discount, so I really don’t care how it got to that point.
I was in the middle of checking out some really awesome Lie-Detector sunglasses when something bounced off the back of my head. It hurt a lot more than I thought it would, which only meant one thing.
I turned around with a stony expression on my face. Victoire waved at me to get my attention, and I waved sarcastically back. She pointed at something near me, and I glanced over to see Ted. I made a confused face at her. She widened her eyes and jerked her head towards him.
Oh hell no. I am not having a conversation with Teddy about you, woman! Do you know how awkward that is?!
I shook my head rapidly. She widened her eyes even more in a threatening manner and gritted her teeth at me, jerking her head again. I shook my head even more violently. She took out her wand and pointed it at me.
I walked over to Teddy.
“Hey man,” I said to him, putting my hands in my pockets since I didn’t really want to keep them swinging at my sides like some confused ape.
“Hey Lou,” Ted replied, looking up from his Extendable Ears. He turned to me with a friendly grin. “How’s it going?”
I shrugged. “Same old. What about you, anything new going on?”
He shrugged as well. “Not really. I mean, I spend a lot of time with your sister since we work together –” yeah, since Victoire freaking stalks you and made sure she become a Curse-Breaker with you so that she can always stalk you – “so mostly it’s just a lot of laughing and whatnot.”
“Yeah, Victoire’s great,” I said quickly, knowing she was listening in and would probably hex me later if I didn’t say something nice about her at this point. “But any hot girls at that dusty old bank you work at?”
Teddy laughed. “Compared to Victoire? No one.”
I decided to respond to that with a blank stare.
“Are you in love with my sister?” I blurted out when Teddy continued to examine the Ears as though he’d never seen them before.
He dropped the Ears back into the box, jumping slightly. “Are you crazy? No way! She’s my best friend, and I’ve known her for my whole life – that’s just like…like dating a sister!”
A short pause. “A cousin,” he corrected.
He glanced at Victoire.
“…a really close friend.”
I just continued to stare at him.
“Look,” he said in an urgent whisper, leaning towards me, “I’m working on it, okay? It’s just an attraction problem…thing. She’s funny, smart and beautiful, what the hell am I supposed to do?! It’s like –”
“Ted, you can stop rambling. I know you’re scared of me and all, but I won’t beat your arse for liking Victoire,” I told him. “Merlin knows she’s been –”
“Hey, ready to go?” Victoire popped up next to me, and Teddy literally turned completely red. I’m talking hair and eyeballs.
“Yeah, you guys go on ahead,” I told her, trying to be discreet about continuing my conversation with Ted.
Victoire grabbed my arm and literally dragged me out.
Okay, I guess not.
“I’ll just get Rose and Al, then,” Teddy called out behind us, “we’re right behind you, don’t bother waiting up!”
The door jingled shut behind Victoire, and she immediately turned to me and started hyperventilating.
Hell no. I don’t deal with this. I am not comfortable with this situation.
“Look, can’t you just…breathe?” I asked desperately, watching as Victoire freaked out, her eyes wide and her face red. “Just calm down! Please? WHAT DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO HERE?!”
“Shut…up,” Victoire managed. She dropped her forehead against my shoulder, and I stood there like a prat while she finally caught her breath.
“Bloody hell,” she groaned, putting her arms around me and stuffing her face into my shirt.
I really hope she’s not trying to suffocate herself on my clothes. Seriously – get your own damn shirt to die on, and leave this one alone. It’s actually washed.
She turned her head to the side, her hair tickling my neck, and took a deep breath. I patted her head a bit. Victoire has hair that smells freaking awesome, so I sniffed that too. It’s almost as good as strawberry.
“Hey, he finally likes you,” I told her.
She giggled lightly. “He finally likes me.” Her voice sounded wistful and contented, but still unsure.
I didn’t know what else was expected of me, so I just patted her hair some more.
“Thanks, Louis,” Victoire whispered.
“No big deal.”
She’s my sister. I’d do anything for her.
…but if she forces me go through that again, I will make her pay me.
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