Chapter 4 : Iím Judging You
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Al started laughing loudly.
I gave them both nasty looks.
“For your information,” I began snootily, “it was meant to be a flirtatious kind of joke –”
“Boys are such pervs,” Rose moaned, putting her head in her hands.
Al put a hand on his heart. “I take offense to that,” he said in a wounded voice.
Rose raised her head to look at him. “I like when the snow is hard and wet so I can squeeze it better into balls,” she said flatly.
Al mashed his lips together to stop himself from saying anything, and I started sniggering.
“I need to start hanging out with people who aren’t related to me,” Rose sighed to herself.
“THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!” Al screamed gleefully. “I take it back Rosie, I am a pervert!”
And we’re proud of it, bitches.
“Shut up!” Rose hit him on the back of the head. “And you – stop it!” She hit me on the back of the head.
“Ow,” I complained, rubbing the tender spot. Sodding hell, that hurt. “What was that for?”
“I saw you looking at that girl,” Rose hissed.
“What girl?” Oh, you mean that really hot one with the fantastic arse and long legs? Nope, no idea who you’re talking about.
She narrowed her eyes at me. I started twiddling my thumbs and whistling loudly to myself, looking up at the splotch of ink on the Gryffindor Common Room ceiling. If you turn your head to the side, it looks like a pumpkin. If you turn your head to the other side, it looks like a screwed-up lollipop.
Very interesting, that splotch on the ceiling.
“I’m going to go for a walk,” Rose snapped, getting up and smoothing out her clothes.
“I’ll come with!” I jumped up.
Rose shot me a glare.
“Never mind,” I sat down again.
Me and Al watched as she stalked over to the portrait hole and climbed out, ignoring the Fat Lady’s calls after her to talk about some fat, juicy piece of gossip. I dunno what her deal is, but she’s got to realize that she’s a portrait. Only the really pathetic ones will want to stand there and talk to her about whatever she may have heard from the other paintings in the school.
Bloody hell, even thinking about it makes me want to sleep.
“Seriously,” Al sat forward and prodded my leg. “You’re really stupid.”
What a supporting family I have.
I shot him an irritated look. “It’s called flirting, you dumbarse piece of poop.”
Al shook his head. “Let me tell you something about these ‘substance’ types, alright mate? I know what I said to Rose before, but these are the birds that blokes like us generally end up with. You know why? Because they’ve got that elusive little thing called a brain. So if you want to snag one of them, you’ve got to be intelligent about it. Go ahead – flirt with her about your nargles and your wordplay. But watch out, because she’s a clever one. She’ll figure out what’s going on and then dump your sorry arse.”
I hate it when Al starts being smart. “I know,” I deadpanned. “You losers just don’t appreciate some clever wordplay flirting.”
“No, it was pretty clever,” Al conceded. “But still – next time, try not to be running away from someone else when you see her. It’ll put her off.”
“How the hell am I supposed to know when one of Dom’s creepy friends is hiding behind a bookshelf to ambush me?!”
“You’ll get used to it eventually,” Al said wisely.
I bet I won’t.
“I’m going to the Owlery,” I said, getting up.
“Who’re you writing to?”
“You’re such a bloody girl about that,” Al muttered. I flipped him off. He’s just jealous because his sister isn’t as cool as Tori is.
So, first week back at school. I would say that things’ve been pretty quiet around here, but I’d be lying to your face. You know, you could have given me some sort of warning about the girls at this sodding place before you set me off right into the deathtrap. I’m being stalked, Tori. STALKED. I’m pretty sure there’s someone hiding behind the big-ass food dish behind me now. Do you understand how bloody creepy that is?! It’s creepy as bleeding hell, that’s what! You females are a weird lot. Anyway, I need your help on how to attract a bird who isn’t attracted by my insanely good looks. She’s quiet, doesn’t have many friends, sarcastic type, not very good-looking…you know. The works.
Tell Ted you love him before I do.
No, you shit, it’s not sad that my older sister is one of my best friends.
Sod off. She’s a cool person.
I tied the letter to Argent’s leg, patted his head a bit, and set him off towards home. Poor guy spends way too much time going back and forth between England and Scotland. Sometimes I feel bad for him, but then Argent craps on something I was hoping to keep and I realize the little bugger deserves all the hard work.
I swear, the owl has something wrong with his digestive tract. He excretes way too much for it to be entirely normal.
“Hello Louis Weasley,” someone breathed into my ear.
HOLY MOTHER OF WRACKSPURTS –
I yelped and jumped about a foot into the air, then staggered backwards into a wall covered in bird crap.
Someone giggled in front of me, and I looked up, glaring, to find the titchiest girl I had ever seen. How she got up to my ear, I’ll never know.
“Who the hell are you?!” I asked, still panting.
The girl who had so rudely jumped me smiled hugely. Bloody hell, I can see all her teeth. That can’t be normal.
“I’m Laura!” She exclaimed.
I stared at her. She stared at me.
“Did you…need something?” I finally asked hesitantly.
She nodded enthusiastically.
“…ok…ay…” I trailed off, then inched over slightly to get a better opening so I could run for it.
She swallowed convulsively, then let out a couple of shrill giggles that eventually collapsed into wheezy sounds. Then she went back to swallowing in between wheezes.
“I think your cousin Rose is really pretty!” She finally squealed out.
My mouth fell slightly open. Oh crap.
I sighed. “Look,” I said, walking forward. I didn’t know how to comfort her about this awkward situation, so I patted her on the head a bit. She looked like she was ready to explode. “Rose…likes men.”
Titchy looked confused.
Bloody hell – “She’s not…okay, well, I’m sure she appreciates being called pretty. But she’s not gay. She likes blokes.” I explained.
Titchy still looked confused. “Gay?”
“You just called her pretty,” I said cautiously.
“Yeah,” she said, “because I think she is. Wanna go to Hogsmeade with me?”
“I – what?”
“Hogsmeade. I think I have a crush on you,” she blushed at that one.
…how old is this person?
“But…I thought you had a crush on Rose!” I yelped.
“What?!” she squealed. “No! I just think she’s pretty –”
“Who are you, again?” I cut across.
She looked like a tomato. “I’m Laura. I’m in Hufflepuff.”
“I…have to go.” I sprinted down the stairs.
Bloody hell, I still don’t understand girls.
“Malfoy,” Rose exclaimed, slamming her books down on the Gryffindor table, “is an absolute prick.”
“Good evening to you too, Rose,” Al said brightly. “How was your first week at school? Great? Oh wonderful, mine too.”
“Sod off, Potter.”
“Love you too, Rosie.”
Rose turned to look at me. I grunted at her through my food. She sighed.
I decided to let that one slide. Grabbing my goblet of pumpkin juice, I quickly chugged some down so I could empty my mouth.
“What did Malfoy do?” I asked.
“Nothing,” Rose snarled, a grimace on her face. She grabbed a roll and started violently buttering it. I exchanged a worried glance with Al.
“Something tells me it’s not just ‘nothing’,” Al said cautiously. I prepared to get off the bench.
“Sit down, you sod!” Rose snapped, pulling me down again. “He’s just an annoying shit, is all. He tripped me down the stairs.”
“Which stairs?” I asked furiously.
“Did you get hurt?”
Rose’s mouth flattened. “The stairs on the way here. From the Astronomy Tower.”
“Did you get hurt?” Al repeated.
Rose laughed darkly. “Not as much as my hex hurt him.”
I let out a relieved laugh. “That’s my girl!” I hugged her to my side, but she hissed and pulled away.
“I have a gash on my ribs,” she breathed, wincing.
“He hurt you?!”
“I’ll kill his face!”
Me and Al made to get up.
“Sit down, both of you!” Rose snarled.
I was literally shaking as I sat down next to her again. Al looked fit to murder. “Bet’s off,” I hissed through gritted teeth. “The bloody bastard is hurting you – stay away from him, Rosie.”
Al was nodding jerkily in agreement.
“Don’t be thick,” Rose said irritably, taking a bite out of her roll. “I didn’t make the bet just so we could call it off whenever. There’s no fun in that.”
“What are you saying?” I asked warily.
Rose looked sheepish. “Well…I did a charm when we shook hands for the bet. We have to complete it, otherwise, well, I don’t really know what’ll happen to us otherwise.”
Oh shit. Calm down. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six – SOD IT.
“WHAT?!” I exploded. A first year next to me jumped violently and upended his goblet all over his pants.
Rose winced. “Okay, I’m sorry, it was a bit stupid –”
“A bit stupid?!”
“FINE, it was really stupid!”
“Yeah it was!” I said loudly. “What were you bloody thinking? You made it permanent?!”
Al slumped forward onto the table. “You know,” he said, his voice muffled into the wood, “for a smart person, you sure are stupid.”
Rose huffed. “I thought it was a good idea at the time,” she muttered.
“Well, clearly, it was not,” I snapped. I opened my mouth to yell at her some more (I like yelling at Rose. It makes for a nice change occasionally), but my eyes fell on someone walking in the Great Hall doors.
“Bloody – I thought you said you hurt him!” I exclaimed.
Rose’s eyebrows furrowed. “What –”
The little git was walking through the doors like he bloody owned the place, smirking away and all happy with his gitty self for hurting Rose.
Rose’s eyes widened. “Don’t – !” But I was already off the bench and striding towards the prat. His smirk widened when he saw me.
“Weasley,” he called in acknowledgement. “I take it you heard about my fantastic trip jinx –” Before he could finish gloating, my fist collided with his face.
I ignored Minnie.
“You hurt her again,” I said quietly, grabbing the front of his robes and fisting them, “and I’ll make sure you’re in the hospital wing for a week.”
He shoved me off. “Tell your goddamn cousin to stay away from me, in that case.”
“You stay away from her.”
Malfoy laughed and turned around, then snapped back as Al also punched him in the face.
“Figured if you were going to get detention, I might as well join,” he shrugged, prodding Malfoy in the back so he’d walk away.
I laughed. Al’s brilliant.
“Mr. Weasley, Mr. Potter –” Minnie said angrily as she stalked up to us.
“Tomorrow night, 7 p.m, trophy room?” Al asked promptly. “Tell Filch it’s a date.” With that, he stooped forward to kiss the back of her hand and gave Minnie one last wink. We slapped hands and strutted back to the Gryffindor table.
That, right there.
“YOU SODDING IDIOTS!” Rose screeched, running up to us and hitting us both over the head.
That right there…no bloody appreciation.
“Psst! Dom! Psssssssssssst!”
Dom turned, in the process of flipping her shiny hair around, but I grabbed her before she could finish and dragged her into my broom closet.
“What the –”
I clamped my hand over her mouth before she could finish screeching, then quickly recoiled – gross, there’s something sticky on her lips.
“Just shut up,” I said hastily before she could start screeching again. “It’s me.”
“Oh hello ‘me!’” Dom spat sarcastically. “Long time no see, how’ve you –”
“It’s Louis,” I cut across irritably. Seriously, what kind of girl doesn’t even recognize her brother’s voice?
“What are you doing?” Dom asked me flatly. “I thought we already talked about not fraternizing in the scholastic –”
“Yeah, that’s great,” I said quickly, “shut up, will you? I’ve got detention in ten minutes.”
“I saw that, by the way,” she piped up. “You need to stop being such an attention-whore, you’re –”
“Tell your friends to stop being weird, it’s creeping me out,” I shot across.
Dom huffed and by the strong waft of scent I got, she also must have tossed her hair around a bit. “You don’t think I’ve tried?”
“Well, try harder!” I exclaimed. “The one…what’s her name – Not-Sarah? She bloody chased me through the library!”
Dom hastily covered up her amused snort with a little coughing noise.
“It’s not good for me, Dom!” I moaned, grabbing her shoulders, “You know what this does to my reputation? Do you know how this makes me look in front of females I actually want to impress?!”
“Oh, you’ll live.” Dom swung her hands around to push my grip off of her shoulders.
“I bet I won’t.”
“Look, I’ll talk to them about it. Don’t you have detention?” She finally said briskly.
With that, I burst through the door, ready to sprint all the way down to the trophy room, but bounced off of a fellow Gryffindor, some quiet bloke I’d seen around the seventh year dorms.
“Sorry mate,” I said, trying to get around him. He looked at my ruffed-up self with a raised eyebrow that went even higher as Dom climbed out of the broom closet, fixing up her face and running her fingers through her hair.
I could practically feel it in the way he was looking at me: I’M JUDGING YOU.
I don’t have time for people and their conclusions and their stupid judging. I darted around him and continued sprinting down the hall. Bloody hell, if I’m late for detention, Minnie will have my head.
At 6:59 I burst through the doors, much to the dismay of an up-until-then, gleeful looking Filch who was staring at his watch.
He glared at me like I had personally done him an injustice. “Yeh know what teh do,” he wheezed, “yeh miscreants.”
Wasn’t aware his vocabulary included words like that, actually.
I am impressed.
I glanced at her. Her eyes slid back to the front.
Maybe there’s something wrong with her breathing. I ignored it.
I turned around. She was glaring at me.
“What?” I asked.
Another irritated look, and she went back to her notes.
You know what I hate about girls? They get mad at you, then expect you to miraculously know why they’re mad. I mean, seriously, I don’t remember past what I had for breakfast this morning. They expect too much from us.
So you can only imagine why I was suddenly irritated at her. “What?” I asked again, more belligerently.
Target glared at me darkly. “Nothing,” she uttered scathingly.
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Well, clearly, it’s not ‘nothing’, since you’re glaring at me like I stole your broomstick.”
If someone stole my broomstick I’d hex their arse to next week.
“Just do your assignment,” she spat.
I grabbed her parchment off of her desk.
“Okay. What is your problem, woman?” I demanded, holding the paper above my head with one hand and pushing her back down into her seat with the other.
She crossed her arms and pouted a bit.
I’ll admit that was cute. I glanced quickly at Rose – she was talking quietly to Al about our Transfiguration Partner Work. Lucky prats, both of them – they get to work with the other smartest person in the class, and I get stuck with the girl who’s smart, but refuses to work with me.
“You really want to know?” she asked angrily.
“Oh, well, now that you mention it, I guess I really don’t – YES!” I finished exasperatedly. Why else would I be asking her, just for kicks and giggles?!
“It’s because you –” She jabbed me in the chest. Oi! “ – are a manwhore.”
I almost started laughing, then stopped myself. “I’m sorry – what?”
So I stare at a Ravenclaw eating mashed potatoes sexily off of her spoon and suddenly I’m a manwhore? Way to be a prude, you judger.
“Cameron told me about how he caught you coming out of that broom closet yesterday with the hot blonde girl from Ravenclaw –” she hissed at me.
Hold on…is she talking about – oh Sweet Merlin.
Wait a minute…Cameron?
“Are you dating him?” I asked suddenly.
“ – both disgusting, the two of you – what?” she broke off to look at me quizzically.
“Cameron. Are you dating him?”
Bloody hell, I really hope not. That’ll make this job much harder.
Her lip curled back in disgust. “Oh Merlin, no! He’s my best friend – like my brother…that is just…” She shuddered a couple of times, and I took that brief moment to scuttle my chair closer to hers.
Mmm, something smells like strawberries.
“Were you jealous?” I asked her in a low voice.
She shot me a look so fierce, I probably would have died on the spot if looks were able to kill.
So I laughed and went back to my own area. “There’s no need to be jealous, love –”
“First of all,” she cut across irritably, “I am not jealous. I am disgusted and insulted that you feel like you could flirt with anyone and win them over – because I don’t know what gave you that impression, but I am not one of your stupid, tarty, blonde whores –”
Oh, this is too good.
“Oi, watch who you’re calling a whore,” I said lazily.
“Of course she’s a whore, she –!”
“– is my sister,” I finished for her.
Target’s mouth fell open, and her eyes widened a bit. I almost laughed to myself at how comical her expression was. Oh, this is just priceless. Someone take a picture.
I raised an eyebrow at her, not able to mask my amused expression entirely. “Dominique Weasley? My sister? I have two of them. They’re not hard to miss.” Unfortunately.
“…oh,” Target said softly.
“Yeah.” I gave her a mock-accusatory, mock-hurt look. “But thanks for judging me. I really appreciate it.”
“Sorry,” she bit her bottom lip and looked down at the desk.
Heheh, she thought I was serious. Merlin, I love girls and all of their emotion-crap. Instead of laughing out loud, I shrugged and turned back to my paper.
“No, I’m really sorry,” she said again, putting her hand on my arm. I looked down at it – fuck yes. I have her exactly where I want her.
“It doesn’t matter,” I shrugged again, “I’m used to people judging me because of how I look. Before they thought I was gay, now it’s something else…I guess I just can’t get away from any of it.”
Bloody hell, if I were any more manipulative, I’d just spontaneously turn into a female. I need to stop listening to my sisters’ conversations with other people.
I glanced at her from under my eyebrows. She was looking at me with a horrified expression on her face, like she couldn’t believe the injustice of people.
I turned my insane laughter into a little cough-sigh and slumped my shoulders down.
“Hey,” she said in a soft voice. I was suddenly struck by how much she seemed to genuinely care. Now I feel kind of guilty. Hot damn, I’m not cut out for this deceitful world. “If it helps at all, I never thought you were gay.”
Of all the things to say…this was probably the funniest. I snorted, and looked up at her.
“That means so much to me,” I said a sarcastic voice of barely controlled laughter. She grinned and patted my shoulder again.
“No problem, man.”
So I did the only thing I could think of when faced with a person who was pretty chill.
“Mates?” I held my hand out to her.
She looked down at it. “Maybe,” she said, her lips stretching into a little grin. “I have a reputation to uphold and all.”
But she shook it anyway.
This bet is the best thing that could have happened to my Gringott’s Account.
tell me how awesome louis is! isn't he great - albeit stupid? aah, i love this clueless male.
you know, it's kind of weird, because louis is the male version of my personality. so i find it creepy, yet oddly flattering when you guys are all 'OMG I LOVE LOUIS'.
because it's like...well, yeah.
i loove reviews ;)
just humor me.
dream_BIG the Review Whore
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