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Chapter 2 : We Will Rock You
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Well, whoever knows what the hell just happened is welcome to tell me. You see, I’m a little confused. This random bird walks into our compartment followed by my best mate, tells us she’s Scorp’s cousin, becomes fast friends with Rose (for the second time), and reveals that she is the secret prankster that has been pranking for the last five years in the dead of night to avoid being caught. And now, the most surprising thing of all, she’s beating the crap out of Freddy at Wizard Chess.
Oh, yes, and there’s the little thing about me feeling a twinge of jealousy when she hugged Freddy, like I wanted to be the one she was hugging instead. And how she’s dressed like she just got out of Muggle military camp, but it still makes me think about how pretty she is.
“Checkmate!” Charlie crows, punching the air with joy.
“NOOOOOO!!!!” Freddy and James yell, at the exact same time.
“Alright, pay up, you sorry excuse for a gambler.” Charlie says jokingly (probably), as she holds her hand out to James. Grumbling, he pulls out a leather bag that has all his coins in it. As he starts counting out money, Scorp high-fives her, laughing.
“Char, you took it easy on him. It took you ten minutes to beat him.” Scorp says as he messes up her hair. Speaking of her hair, I didn’t think it was possible for it to get messier. It’s a tangled pile of long, curly, rusty-browny-mahogany-redy hair that somehow looks really amazingly gorgeous.
“Whoa, hold on a second there. You were going easy on him?” I said, looking at Greengrass with new found wonder.
“Of course.” She said, shrugging.
“Wow. Um, holy shit. That is impressive.”
“Not really. You should see my dad- never mind.”
“Alright.” I said uncertainly.
“So, Char, you said you play Beater?” Freddy asked from his position at the Wizard Chess table.
“Yeah, I love playing Quidditch. My parents just had…other ideas for my Quidditch career. So, James, you’re the Captain, right?” She asked, looking to James, who was still counting out coins.
“Yeah, I’m the Captain. I’m holding try-outs, obviously, but I don’t know when, yet. Here’s your money, you stupid freakin’ genius.” He said, giving her all the money, which she then slid into a pocket in her cargo pants.
“Great. Let me know when you decide when you’re going to hold tryouts. Oh, and by the way, I’m not a stupid genius. I’m a smart one.” She says, smiling and nodding her head, looking the picture of self-satisfied.
Awesome. I find this insane girl to be attractive and I may or may not be considering the possibility of me having a crush- MOVING ON!
Am I just going to say that every time I get close to the truth- MOVING ON!
“Uh. What’s the password?” Charlie says, looking back around at the rest of us. We (being me, Charlie, Rose, Scorp, James, and Freddy) are standing in front of the Fat Lady, looking up at it like idiots. Is James actually scratching his head?
“Whoa, dude, you have wicked bad dandruff.” And Freddy knows what dandruff is. (Incidentally, what is dandruff?)
“Really? I bet I can find a shampoo to get rid of that.” Rose says, standing up on her tiptoes and trying to see James’s scalp. Rose might be tall, but James is a fucking giant.
“What is dandruff, anyways?” James asks.
“Yeah, what is it?” I echo.
“It’s bloody dry skin. Now can we return to the matter at hand? We are locked out of the Gryffindor Tower. I can’t sleep. This is very bad. So you better figure out the password, and fast, otherwise I will kill every last one of you in my lack-of-sleep-induced craziness. So get thinking. Now!” Damn, Charlie’s bloody scary when she’s not getting her sleep.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. We’re thinking, so don’t get your knickers in a twist.” Scorp mutters, cuffing her over the head rather half-heartedly.
“Squidbrains!” James shouted, looking very happy until he realized that “squidbrians” wasn’t the password. “Dammit.” He muttered.
“What the fuck is that?” We all chorused, looking at Freddy like he had sprouted another head.
“I dunno, I just figured the password was always something really silly, so I just said the first thing that came to mind.”
“Which was…wera-something-or-another?” Rose asked incredulously.
“C’mon Rose, we’re not all as smart as you.” I said, grinning at her.
“Hmph. Damn right you’re not.”
“Oi! People! I’m not sleeping yet! You better get your asses moving, and fast!”
“Yes, ma’am!” Freddy barked out, snapping off a salute.
“Yes, sir!” Scorp said, hitting himself in the eye while trying to salute. Charlie smacked him.
“Wow, mate, just wow.” I said, shaking my head sadly. These are the people who I call my friends? Really?
“Hey, I don’t see you saluting anyone! It’s bloody harder than it looks!”
“I’M NOT SLEEPING YET!!!” Charlie roared at the top of her lungs.
“HOLY SHIT WOMAN! CALM THE FUCK DOWN!” I roared right back. I turned to the Fat Lady and yelled, “Pixie dust!”
“No need to be quite so loud!” the Fat Lady said, obviously extremely offended. And then, to my surprise, the portrait hole swung open.
“Huh?” we all said, in unison. Damn, we have a talent.
HAVETOGETTOMYBEDMOVEMOVEMOVEMOVE!!!!!” Okay, so everyone talked together except for Charlie. Who was currently pushing innocent First, Second, Third, Fourth, Fifth, Sixth, and Seventh Years out of the way in her efforts to get to her dorm and her bed. Holy crap, she’s freakin’ fast. And strong. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone move a whole table, girls sitting on top of it and all, because it was blocking the most direct route to the girl’s dorms. Fucking hell, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone pick people up and drop them in armchairs because they were in your way.
Alright, thinking back on the split second it took her to get to her dorm, I exaggerated it. She only picked up the lighter kids. The other ones just got pushed out of the way.
“So, does Char do that every night she doesn’t get to sleep by… 9:00?” Rose asks Scorp.
“Uh, yeah, just about. She does this unless she’s really hyped up, in which case she just pulls an all-nighter. But, trust me, you don’t want to see her hyper. One time she drank three Pepsi’s in half an hour. After that, she ran laps around the house for an hour and a half straight. She only came in because she wanted more soda. It was scarier than facing down McGonagall when she’s pissed, and she’s only pissed because of you.” Scorp says, shuddering at either the memory of Charlie hyper or McGonagall pissed off.
“I find that hard to believe.” James said as we clambered through the portrait hole.
“No, he’s not kidding. I’ve seen Char when she’s hyper and/or mad. It’s scary as hell. When she gets hyper, she never runs out of energy, and when she gets mad, she doesn’t rest until she’s gotten revenge on whoever pissed her off.” Fred said, getting a little pale. She’s really that scary? I find it hard to believe that she could be anything but really hot- MOVING ON!
“So, who pisses her off? I mean, I didn’t even really know she existed until this morning.” James asks, ruffling up his hair and yawning.
“People. Someone says something wrong around her, and she goes bonkers.” Scorp says, getting a little pale, too.
“People. O-kay. Thanks for that really informative answer. I’m going to bed now. See you guys in the morning.” James staggered on up to bed, alternating between yawning and cracking various joints.
Wait, since when can you crack your knees?
Okay, that’s just weird.
“Well, I’m tired. I think I’ll go to bed now.” Rose said, yawning and making her way to the Girl’s Dorms.
“Yeah, I’m going to turn in, too.” Freddy echoes, following James’s path to the Boy’s Dorms.
“Well, guess it’s just you and me.” I say, turning to Scorp. He doesn’t say anything. He just stares after Rose.
“Uh, mate? Something going on between you and Rose?” I ask uncertainly, giving him a weird look.
“Wha-? Er, no, no, of course not. What gives you that idea?” he says, quite obviously lying, especially considering he’s still ogling my baby cousin. So what that she’s actually six months older than me? It’s only a few months, so she’s still my baby cousin.
“Yeah, I’m just going to ignore that and pretend I didn’t see you checking out Rose.” I mutter, hitting him on the back of the head to jerk him back to reality.
“Oh, er, right. Thanks.” He mumbles, rubbing the back of his head apologetically.
“No prob. Now, should we hit the sack or just hang out here?”
“Er…let’s get some sleep. I mean, we’ve got classes tomorrow, right?”
“Yeah. Don’t remind me.” I groaned.
We ended up getting to sleep at the fairly reasonable time of midnight, after a rousing conversation about the hottest girls in the school. Rose and Charlie both made the list, even though it seemed like most of the guys had only noticed Charlie today.
Takes talent, in my opinion.
You may wonder who “we” is. Yeah, that’s the lovely (and by that I mean extremely manly) members of my dorm. Which is me, Scorp, Luke Castellan, and Charles Beckendorf.
We’re pretty kick ass, when it comes down to it.
But for some reason, I don’t like people saying stuff about how hot Charlie is. I feel almost…jealous- MOVING ON!
Methinks I might be royally fucked over.
“Al, get up!”
“Al, come on! Get up!”
“Al! We have classes in fifteen minutes, you dumbshit!”
“Holy shit- what?! Why didn’t you wake me up?!” I half-screamed, half-yelled as I fell (gracefully) out of my bed and onto the floor, ending up as a jumbled mess of sixteen-year-old boy, blankets, and some suspicious, hard object that I was ignoring until it started smelling/giving off odd explosions and flashes of color and/or light.
I’m a boss house keeper.
“I just tried, you fucktard! Now move!” Scorp yelled at me, kicking me none-too-gently in the back.
I flipped him off and then dragged myself up off the ground, whining the whole time.
“Okay, Al, listen. You’re my best mate and everything, but if you make me miss breakfast, I will kick you into next week.” Scorp threatened, looking deadly serious as he glared at me.
“Shit dude, that’s scary”, I said, my eyes widening in fear as I backed up slightly.
“Thank you. Now put some clothes on and MOVE, for fuck’s sake!”
By the time we showed up to breakfast, both sprinting, but my sprinting while trying to button my shirt with my tie around my neck, someone came barreling down the stairs of the Girl’s Dorm.
And guess who it was.
“Char! Move faster, dammit!” Rose yelled back over her shoulder at Charlie, who appeared to be buttoning her shirt, tying her tie, and pulling her shoes on at the same time.
Impressive. Bitch has talent.
“Rose! Calm the fuck down! I’m multi-tasking, here!” Charlie yelled back at her.
“So? Stop multi-tasking!”
“And go down to breakfast with my shirt flying off? No thanks!”
Wait…Charlie shirtless? I want to see that! I mean, she might be crazy as fuck, but she has a nice rack. (Yes, hormones kind of rule my life. Get used to it.)
Scorp seemed to notice my desire to ogle his cousin, mostly because I stopped short and stared in her general direction, so he hit me in the back of my head, grabbed my shirt (which I was still trying to button), and dragged me out of the Common Room, closely followed by Rose and Charlie.
When we finally got to breakfast, I had my shirt half buttoned, my tie loosely tied, and random paper falling out of my bag. Scorp looked like he had walked off of a runway.
How is that fair?
And then, when Charlie and Rose came sprinting into the Great Hall, they both look they’re models late to their next photo shoot. And one of them is my cousin.
Again, how is that fair?
The Great Hall was pretty much empty, so all four of us grabbed muffins or bagels or whatever and then anxiously looked around for McGonagall. Because it’s the first day of school. So we don’t have our schedules. (Insert: facepalm.)
“McGonagall! I need my schedule!”
“Yeah, and I need mine!”
“Hey, me first!”
“Oh, no. I’m getting mine first!”
McGonagall stared at us in apparent shock. We just grinned at her, our messy appearances making us look the epitome of put-together, attractive, popular, young students.
Ha ha. Note the sarcasm.
She shook her head, and calmly started handing out schedules. Of course, I was last, right after Charlie. I glanced down at my schedule and groaned. I had Charms first, which meant I would have to do some more serious sprinting to get to class on time.
Both Scorp and Rose glanced at their schedules and said, “Yes! Herbology first!” so they got the easy trip to the greenhouses.
Unfortunately, both Charlie and I got stuck with Charms. What did I do to the gods? Seriously? Why do you guys hate me?!
We dashed into Charms right before the bell and took the only empty seats, which were right next to each other. By the end of class, I had decided that Charlie - Greengrass was possibly one of the most obnoxious, sarcastic, annoyingly smart, and hot people I’d ever met.
And I was totally going to kick her ass at Charms. (It helped that I had twenty Galleons and my pride and self-respect riding on it.)
Yeah, that was a shitty update. Sorry. Okay, please review. And tell me what you think about the chapter title. And everything else, in general. Yeah. I’m out!
A/N 2: changed Charlie's last name, folks!
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