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Defiance by Twofighter
Chapter 1 : As Planned
 
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 7


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A/N: What you need to know upfront: James had a sister –Lily’s best friend-, which he didn’t know about until he was sixteen. Her name was Samantha, and when she died near the end of James’ last year at Hogwarts, she left a baby behind. Lily and James were a couple until said night of Sam’s death, because James needed time to take care of him and the baby. Sirius had been madly in love with Sam. He chose Lily’s side in the break-up and hasn’t seen James since their graduation either.
 

Chapter One: As Planned

Lily woke up with a grunt, feeling her head throb painfully. Why didn’t this magic life go without hangovers?

She felt someone sigh in their sleep as she got up. Her eyes widened as she looked at the blond boy next to her.

Why couldn’t she be one of those people who had complete black-outs after a night of drinking?

Lily groaned and practically ran out of her bedroom as she remembered the special treatment she had given the boy last night. Why had she done that again? She remembered something about feeling guilty for the crap present she had given him. After all, they had become friends during their internship at St. Mungo’s. Yeah, friends!

You are such a horrible person, Lily Evans! How could you do this to him?

Lily groaned again as she buried her face in her hands. Although Lily had appreciated his intelligence and was sure he would make an excellent healer, that was all she thought of her blond colleague. He, on the other hand, had obviously been in love with Lily from day one. Lily knew this of course, and it made her feel horrible.

He was rather handsome, but in a big lipped, baby-faced kind of way, which wasn’t really Lily’s type. Lily cursed herself as she started to make coffee. She didn’t drink coffee, but Eli did. That was the least she could have for him when he woke up!

But she couldn’t be here when he woke up! She couldn’t crush his little, fragile heart like she knew she would. Oh, what to do?

Sirius! She suddenly thought. He’d know what to do!

Lily smiled as she wrote down a note for Eli:

Having breakfast at Sirius’ place! There is coffee and take whatever you like from the fridge! Lily

She wanted to add an ‘x’ to it but decided not to lead him on in any way. He was probably already hoping to get married.

Lily put on some freshly washed clothes and left the apartment, not bothering with make-up or anything, it was just Sirius. She crossed the busy street clumsily and had to walk no more than fifty yards and turn a corner to reach Sirius’ apartment, which was almost thrice as big as Lily’s. She used the key she had, knowing he would still be sleeping.

Lily immediately went to the bathroom, searching for a hangover potion. Sirius always kept enough of them to last a lifetime. The bright sun and those honking cars had made her head ready to explode.

She gulped down the brown, disgusting potion.

Just what one needs when one’s already trying their hardest not to retch. She drank two glasses of water after that and felt her headache disappear instantly.

Lily poured a glass of milk and entered Sirius’ bedroom without knocking. She had of course checked for female shoes at the door first, making sure there wouldn’t be a lady friend lying next to him. It also told her that he wouldn’t be naked.

Sirius was still sleeping as Lily sat down on his bed.

“Sirius!” Lily said, not even bothering with being gentle; she knew he would be grumpy anyway when she woke him. He grunted a little. “Siriuus! I’ve got milk. It’s good for you!”

Sirius turned over, took the glass, emptied it and went back to sleep, pulling the covers over his head. Lily shoved him.

“Sirius! I need to talk!” Lily whined.

“Then talk! I’ll just listen with my eyes closed!” Sirius replied from underneath the covers.

“I slept with Eli.” Lily blurted out.

Silence. And then a faint chuckling, which turned into some real snickering and eventually became roaring laughter, as Sirius came out from under the covers and sat up straight in the bed.

“Stop laughing.” Lily said, and Sirius tried but it took him another couple of minutes to control his breathing.

“Oh! Poor boy.” Sirius said panting. “And you snuck out of his apartment ever so charmingly before he woke up?”

“No, that’s the problem! He is... still at my apartment.” Lily explained painfully. Sirius relapsed into a fit of laughter, getting out of the bed and supporting himself against its frame.

“I believe the only option you have, is to go into hiding... permanently.” He continued seriously. “I’m just saying: if you don’t want to end up unhappily married with three children.”

“That’s what I was thinking! Can’t I just stay here for a while? Although avoiding him at work will be quite impossible, I fear,” Lily said.

“Lily.” Sirius sighed, stretching his body. “Just talk to the boy and explain that it was a mistake. That you don’t think a real relationship will work. Yes, it’ll crush him, but ignoring the problem is not your style.”

Why couldn’t it be the same as with Sirius? He was like a cousin, Lily acknowledged his godlike body as he stood before her, wearing only his boxers, but any sexual thought just triggered Lily’s gag reflex.

“It’s so unfair! You sleep inappropriately with women almost every day, and Karma never gets back at you! And I...” Lily protested, getting up from the bed as well.

“You! You sleep with inappropriate men! That’s a whole other thing!” Sirius interrupted her. “Girls that come here know that they cannot expect things afterwards. You just need to have strict rules.”

“Get showered. I’ll make you breakfast.” Lily said as she left the bedroom. “Luckily Eli’s shift starts after mine's ended!”

Sirius chuckled as he walked to the bathroom.

*

“Please, name one of your children Sirius! It’s such a cool name!” Sirius whined, as Lily was hurrying down the street towards the bank. An hour after their breakfast, Eli had sent Lily a letter – not knowing where Sirius lived- telling Lily that he was going home to get ready for work. They had asked him to take over Lisa’s shift, which oh-so-coincidentally overlapped with Lily’s shift this afternoon. This frightened her into lingering as long as possible at Sirius’ place, which she now regretted because she was running late.

“Stop it, Sirius!” Lily snapped, as she kept checking her watch. “Besides, you know I don’t want children. Certainly not Eli’s!”

“Yeah! That’s why you’re considering specialising in paediatrics.” Sirius reasoned. Lily rolled her eyes at him. They both knew the counterargument Lily would use after that, so she just didn't bother to argue.

“Why are you walking with me, again?” Lily teased. Sirius stuck out his tongue. Lily knew he had an appointment with Dumbledore, she just didn’t know what about; neither did Sirius. “I’m sure Dumbledore will try to talk you into a job.”

Now it was Sirius’ turn to roll his eyes at her. Lily had been pushing him to get a job, just to do something he liked. Sirius said he liked his life just as it was, but to Lily he seemed to be missing something.

They reached the bank and both stood before one of the well hidden ATM’s. Lily put her hand on Sirius’ shoulder as he kissed her cheek.

“See you tonight?” Lily asked, as he nodded. “I want to know what Dumbledore had to say.”

Sirius smiled as he turned on the spot, apparating to Hogsmeade, while Lily typed in her personal code on the ATM machine. Right after this she was sucked into the machine and reappeared inside St. Mungo’s hospital.

She pulled her hair up into a ponytail as she crossed the crowded hall hastily. The witch at the entrance smiled at her as a greeting, but Lily was too stressed to smile back.

Get your coat! Find Andrews. Oh god, he’ll have started rounds already. Oh god, Eli will be there!

Lily took a deep breath as she braced herself for a hard day's work, not only physically.

*

It was a day that Lily would never forget. It hadn’t been hard, but horrible and confusing and it gave her an annoying feeling inside, who she sat silently at her own kitchen table. As she had been doing over and over again, she remembered the moment that had turned her whole day around.

For arriving late, Lily was stuck with doing the small injuries. Not that she really minded; at least this was perfect to avoid Eli, who clearly had no clue of Lily’s regret about the previous night.

Lily was quick and efficient as she took a patient’s chart, opened their curtain, heal their wounds or give them a potion, and sent them home. As she opened the curtain before even reading the chart, she smiled, believing her day wasn’t so bad at all, as a beautiful girl sat strong and straight upon the bed with a hurt leg.

“Hey, beautiful.” Lily said, as the toddler smiled back broadly.

“Hello.” She said happily. Most of the kids in here were crying, but she was just beaming as if nothing was wrong. She lifted Lily’s spirits just by being in the same room.

This is why I love paediatrics! Because children can be so much braver than most adults!

“Where are your parents?” Lily asked, sitting next to her on the bed, putting away the chart. She couldn’t have been much older than 2 years old. Did they just leave her?

“Daddy gets chocwates!” She clapped her hands excitedly. Lily widened her eyes and mouth in pretend surprise. The girl’s words were pronounced quite clearly for her age.

“Wow! No wonder you’re so happy. But did he leave you all alone?” Lily asked carefully.

“No! Thew was a boy to wook at me, but I diwn’t weawy wike him so I wished him away.” She explained guiltily, as Lily chuckled. “He huwt me, when he touch it!”She explained, pointing at the wound on her left calve.

“Ow! That does look painful.” Lily mused, as she looked at the red-brown open wound that was oozing a little. “How did this happen?”

Lily grabbed the chart as the girl started to explain her adventurous tale, as if she was talking about her birthday party.

“A dog bite me!” She exclaimed. That’s what it said in the chart as well, but this wasn’t just a dog’s bite.

“Just a dog? What kind of dog?” Lily asked.

“A weawy big one!” Her arms stretched wide, as she described the dog. “He’s weawy nice, always! But... Cindy giving me chicken and I think he jawous. He wikes chicken!”

“And you went to the hospital right away?” Lily asked. Although it would go a lot faster if her father was here, Lily liked how children told stories.

“Cindy was scawed Daddy be mad, and I towd her Daddy never mad when I do stupid!” She continued with a chuckle. “She twied to make it better, but it huwt and diwn’t go away.”

She sulked a little at remembering the pain, and Lily rubbed her back. Just a healing spell that wasn’t preformed properly. It was nothing but if it wasn’t on the chart, most healers would handle it all wrong.

“Okay. Here’s the plan: I am going to fix your leg in just a few minutes, and then your dad will return with your chocolates and you will have earned them for being so brave!” Lily explained, hunching before her. She nodded happily. “I just have to get something to fix your leg, okay? I want you to stay here like a good girl, while I go into that room over there. I won’t be gone long.”

The girl nodded as Lily opened the curtain and pointed to the door of the storage room so the girl could see.

Lily smiled reassuringly as she crossed the room and entered the room. On her right were shelves filled with handy healing potions and ointments, and on her right was a door that led to a lunchroom for personnel who preferred to bring their own lunch from home.

Unfortunately, that door was open, and unfortunately Eli was drinking his coffee in that room, and unfortunately he saw Lily enter the other room, and the most unfortunate fact was that he had noticed how Lily had seen him as well.

Eli walked towards her as Lily kept looking for the ointment she needed although she had already spotted it right in front of her.

“Hey,” His high voice sounded so childlike to Lily that it made her feel like a paedophile after what she did.

“Hi!” Lily turned around enthusiastically as if she was surprised.

“Don’t you usually take your lunch break now?” He asked carefully. Lily looked at the clock unnecessarily, for she knew that it was half past 12 and that normally she would have taken her break five minutes ago, but she also knew that Eli knew this as well.

“Oh, do I? I guess. I never really plan it, you know.” Lily smiled. Of course, she planned everything!

“Do you want to have lunch together when you’re done?” He asked hoping.

“Done? Done with what?” Lily asked, misinterpreting him. Done with him? He frowned.

“With your patient.” He explained. Lily’s eyes widened in comprehension as she let out an awkward giggle.

“Oh, I don’t know. This will probably take a while...” Lily started, turning her head back to the girl that was her patient.

Suddenly everything froze as Lily pulled her body behind the door instinctively. She continued to gape through the split between the door’s hinges at the father who had returned with a heart-shaped box of chocolates.

“Lily?” Eli asked, still standing next to the open door.

“Oh!” She yelped as he startled her. “I’d forgotten... It’s good you’re here. Take this to the girl over there, apply it thickly and give the rest of the tube to J- the father to take home with him. She should be fine with just a bandage wrapped around her wound.”

She pushed the ointment into his hands as she lectured him. Eli raised his eyebrows.

“That kid? Urgh, I’m not going back to her. She didn’t like me because I said I would not give her a box of chocolates.” Eli voiced his dislike. “Spoiled brats.”

Lily now realised why they would never be real good friends. He just wanted to be a healer to be smart and make an ambitious career out of it.

“She’s not...” Lily started but changed her mind, placing he hand softly on Eli’s arms. “Please, do this for me?”

He melted underneath her gaze and nodded.

As he walked towards the bed, the girl scolded at him immediately, making him laugh awkwardly at the adult man, who seemed to share the girl’s dislike towards him.

Lily saw him explain how to apply the ointment and put a bandage around her leg afterwards. Lily could see them take in the information carefully; the man concentrating, the girl just angrily staring at him.

Lily stared at the man’s face, so caring, so loving, so familiar yet so strange, as he played with one of the black curls of the toddler next to him, oblivious to how endearing it looked.

She had asked where Lily was, for Eli pointed at the door behind which Lily was hiding. The girl started getting off of the bed immediately, receiving help from the two adults, and started to wobble towards the door. Oh god, Lily thought, as she could see the worried man’s face follow her every move.

Lily appeared from behind the door hesitantly, and looked down at the girl, avoiding the man’s hazel eyes. The girl looked cuter than ever with her dark blue dress, her satin black curls bouncing up and down as she crossed the room on her own.

Lily hunched before her as she reached the door with her box of chocolates in her tiny hands and her mouth already completely brown. She dropped the box in Lily’s hands before reaching up to touch her red hair.

“You can have the west.” The girl said, looking her in the eye intensely. Lily should have recognised her from the first moment! “Lily.”

She whispered her name as she place her chocolate covered hand right next to Lily’s eye, seemingly mesmerised, until he called out her name.

“Sammy? Come on, hunny. Let’s get you home.” James Potter urged her to turn around. Lily looked up from the small hazel eyes and looked straight into the slightly bigger ones. Their gazes locked and neither let go, until finally Lily pulled away. She took the chocolate Sammy was offering her and said thank you.

“I am Samantha.” Sammy said, before turning back to James.

Yes, you are. Lily thought as she looked at Sammy’s back, feeling too much emotions at once. She looked back up at James and their eyes locked again, but now Lily noticed his sad look.

Sad? He shouldn’t be feeling sad upon seeing her again after so long. Her anger flared up momentarily as James raised Sammy into his arms, and turned around.

Lily felt sad now too, as she sat at the table, her hands on her face. It had been more than a year. She had forgotten him.

No, of course she hadn’t forgotten him, but she had forgotten the details; his eyes, his casual stance, Lily’s constant urge to run her hand through his hair. She had wanted to touch him, talk to him, catch up. Even now, she always wanted to know everything about him.

And Samantha! She was possibly even more beautiful than her mother, added by the cuteness of being a one and a half year old toddler.

Lily continued thinking of what her feelings were trying to tell her. She couldn’t think straight after seeing James, confused by her short temper and sudden moments of feeling empty.

This emptiness reminded her of her last months at Hogwarts, although that feeling had disappeared when she had started her new life as a healer.

She stared up at the clock again. Normally, she would have finished her diner already. Normally, Sirius would’ve been home from his daily run an hour ago.

This day had not gone as planned.


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