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You Are What You Read by Just Emily
Chapter 3 : Sexy giants, little things and an obnoxious hat.
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 9

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Ever get the feeling that you’re somewhere you shouldn’t be? Every get the feeling that someone is watching you? Ever get the feeling that you’re a giant? … No? Just me then. At this point in time, I felt like a giant. I didn’t look like a giant, I wasn’t even as tall as a giant, but – nonetheless – I felt like a giant.

I guess that’s what most people feel like when they’re standing in a mass of… little things. These little things, at least I think, are actually known as first years. Whatever that is. And these little things were waiting to get sorted, just like me. The giant. … The giantess. … The sexy giantess. And yes, giants could be sexy. I was proof. Well, technically I wasn’t a giant so I guess I wasn’t proof. Sigh.

Lily and the gang had gone off to find seats, wishing me luck with the Sorting Hat, sensing how nervous I was. Translation: The Marauders had ditched me, and Lily had told me to join the first years. The first alternative was much nicer. So, here I was, a sexy giant amongst first years. And all I could think about was – not Sirius – what the Sorting Hat was going to make of me.

The Sorting Hat hadn’t crossed my mind once. And now – it was all I could think about. Well that, and sexy giants. I shook that thought off. I really didn’t want the Sorting Hat reading my mind and seeing a giant with a little black dress, heels and red lipstick. Can you imagine? I shuddered involuntarily, I couldn’t even remember why I had been thinking about sexy giants in the first place. I suddenly felt a small tug from my skirt. I looked down to find two wide eyes and freckles staring up at me. I mean, they were connected to a face and body. It’s not like they were floating eyes and freckles.

My eyebrows propped up, waiting for freckle face to speak. He stared at me some more, seeming to notice that I wasn’t his age.

‘What are you doing here?’ he demanded in a high voice. His small friends turned around eagerly  - as if they were allowed to look at me now.

‘I’m waiting to get sorted.’ I answered honestly. What did he think I was planning to do? Eat him? – I was in giant mode at the moment. The boy looked me up and down, quite likely straining his eyes as he tried to take me all in. I knew he was planning to speak again, so I waited.

‘Why?’ Huh. His voice sounded much different, girl-like. Plus, his mouth hadn’t moved. Then I noticed the very blonde girl that had moved forward, staring up at me intently. I was planning on staring her out but I was too freaked out by her persistence. Weren’t young people meant to be scared of older people? My age just became absolutely useless in my defence. If these things decided to attack me – I would have nothing. Of course I had a wand. …

‘Well,’ I began, looking all of them straight in the eye, ‘I was originally in Hufflepuff, but I sort of killed someone,’ I said this all quite casually, smiling inside as I watched their faces drop in horror, ‘And so they decided to re-sort me as I couldn’t belong to such a kind House.’ I smiled at them all widely, hoping my teeth looked sharp and threatening. Though I wasn’t sure why, it’s not like I killed someone by biting them to death.  … It’s not like I killed anyone.

The very blonde girl stared up at me, her eyes narrowed. Oh God, she was one of those intuitive little suckers.

‘Then shouldn’t you be in Azkaban?’ Yep, bloody intuitive. I opened my mouth to tell her I had also killed a Dementor when someone cleared their throat behind me. I spun around and saw a woman who could only be one person.

Professor McGonagall.

She reminded me of one of those really strict librarians, with her hair pulled back in a tight bun and a disapproving look etched onto her face. If I was scared of her, how was I going to react to Madam Pince? But then again, would I really be going to the Library? It’s not like they had a copy of Harry Potter.

While my brain and I were having a conversation, McGonagall had been explaining everything to the first years and had sent them through the double doors, leading to the Great Hall. Leaving me on my lonesome. Perfect. And this time, I wasn’t being sarcastic.

None of this could be real, so did it really matter if I got sorted or not? This was my head, my rules. I spun on my heel, hoping I didn’t walk through a ghost or anything – I didn’t think I would be quite ready for that. It was time to do some exploring, to see what Hogwarts was really like. Then someone cleared their throat. Bloody typical. Why could I never explore a fictional place without getting interrupted?

I decided not to turn around, and hope that the clearer of throat would forget I was there.

‘Miss Blakely? Isn’t it?’ Apparently she had yet to forget me. I gave it another few seconds but I could still feel the woman’s eyes boring into my back. I sighed, and turned round to face McGonagall. I said nothing and she said nothing – it was a while until I realized she had asked me a question.

‘Oh right,’ I spluttered. ‘Yep I’m George Blakely.’

McGonagall subtly looked me up and down – well not that subtly, seeing as I noticed – and nodded to herself. Just when I was about to point out how rude she was being she said

‘Well, it appears Miss Evans was right about your…’ she paused, searching for the right word, if there actually was one. ‘Uniqueness.’

The way she said it made it sound like a bad thing.

I smiled and glanced behind me, still eager to get lost in the castle. My original plan was to explore, but I figured getting lost would be inevitable.

‘I think you’ll find the Great Hall is this way.’ McGonagall interrupted, indicating to behind her, smiling slightly as if I hadn’t realized and was just so dim I had turned the wrong way. 

I smiled a little wider, but made no attempt to move. I wasn’t going for a rebellious streak or anything; I just couldn’t think how to move. Don’t you ever get that? When your brain sort of loses touch with your body, and your completely helpless for a few moments as you can’t do anything. Actually, I don’t think it’s that common.

A few moments of helplessness passed and the professor was still staring at me, wondering whether her use of the word ‘unique’ had been far too kind. I shook my head, as I was growing used to doing and without another glance at the fictional character, walked through the double doors to the Great Hall.

As soon as I entered I realized four things.

One – The Sorting had almost finished and there was only one student left.

Two – Every single eye in the room had landed on me.

Three – McGonagall had lied to me. This was not the Great Hall. This was hell itself.

Four – I was walking like a penguin.

Place yourself in the most awkward, embarrassing situation your brain can conjure up. Now pretend you have the imagination of the most imaginative person in the world – to make whatever situation your brain conjures up even worse. Now put on a poncho – as everyone knows that they went out of style years ago, despite being practical and warm. And then times it all by a bijillion. And still you would not feel as awkward as I did walking towards that Sorting Hat.

Everyone had clearly gotten bored of the Sorting, and seeing as I was now the most interesting thing in the room, I suppose they couldn’t help but stare. But every single person? Really? Ok, maybe it wasn’t every single person, but as soon as Sirius stood up it was.

‘Oi! George!’ he yelled across the room, ignoring the Sorting of the last terrified first year who couldn’t see a thing as the hat fell past his nose. I sure hoped he could breathe. How awkward would that be?

I turned, with a slight frown. Yeah I was partly relieved to have some attention drawn away from me, but the boy didn’t half irritate me. And I know for a fact, that he was calling me by my first name, to show to the school that he knew the new girl. Then again, that upped my reputation a bit – Sirius Black, Hogwarts stud, knew me. I wasn’t happy with the proud tone my thoughts were taking.

All the Marauders were standing up, waving at me very obviously. James and Sirius were the most enthusiastic, of course, throwing in a few too many winks in. Remus was more controlled with his sharp wave, rolling his eyes at his friends. There was a smaller boy beside them, he seemed nervous, constantly glancing up to the teacher’s table. Choosing to distract myself from who this boy was, I turned to the teacher’s table too.

I wish my teachers looked like this.

The word that came to mind was… colourful. Not just the outfits; there was something about the Professors that were interesting.  There was an assortment of very tall hats, of many different colours – I was glad to see that it wasn’t your stereotypical black that was associated with witches. Would you listen to me – acting like this was all real, and I actually was a witch. This was in my head. This was in my head. This is in my damn head. I awoke from my daydream as a loud roar echoed from the far left and the young boy rushed over to the table so quickly he nearly tripped over his very small feet. Seriously, it wasn’t normal how tiny these people were. I don’t think I was ever that small. I won’t bother to correct myself.

Then I realized that I still had quite a far way to walk until I reached my destination.  And they were all waiting for me to reach this destination. Should I walk a little faster? Run perhaps? Or maybe just a light jog? I decided to walk faster – either way, I still looked like a penguin.

I don’t even know why. But I felt like a penguin waddling to it’s doom. … How does a penguin meet its doom, anyway? I mean, I suppose there are dangerous animals out there that could eat them – maybe they could get so cold that they get really bad frost bite – and I was walking towards the Sorting Hat – priorities were in check.

I didn’t understand how long this walk was – I felt like I had been walking for at least a month – well, not a month – that hyperbole was a little too much, but you get what I’m saying: It was taking a while.

And then another realization dawned on me – no one could eat until I had been sorted. And if these students were anything like me when they got hungry… I began to jog.

And lo and behold I reached the head of the Great Hall – I knew I would eventually, it was sort of inevitable.

Professor McGonagall was waiting for me, with the hat in hand. I have no idea how she got there – pretty sure she had been behind me, but hey – it works for the plot, so let’s just go with it.

And in that moment, when my eyes fell on the raggedy hat, with a hint of face in its stitches, I began to feel nervous. Did I really want someone poking around in my head, deciding where I belonged? Whatever happened to freewill? Independence? Women’s rights?! But this was a magical talking hat, placing me in a fictional House with fictional people, who must all be a figment of my imagination. Women’s rights could wait.

I could hear the muttering behind me, though I couldn’t make a word out, I guess that was why it was called mutterings. I slowly walked up the steps to the very very small stool, waiting for me to place my butt on it. This stool clearly was not used to the more…mature bottom. I was no little thing as these first years were. Please God, don’t let it break when I sit on it.

I smiled awkwardly at McGonagall, feeling much calmer when she did not return the smile. Good to see my sarcasm was still in check. She hadn’t bothered calling out my name, seeing as I was the only one left. Naturally I should have been one of the first to get sorted, with a name like Blakely, but seeing as I was late.

I sucked in a quick breath, not sure what I was planning to achieve by doing so, and sat on the stool. Moment passed. It didn’t break. I had closed my eyes as soon as I sat down, not wanting to see all the eyes staring up at me – which I knew they were. Something about eyes, you could always feel them watching you. I didn’t like that feeling.

I wish McGonagall would hurry up and put the hat on my head.

If you were paying attention my dear girl, you would have noticed my presence.

Hello Mr. Hat – whoah, hadn’t felt (him?) on my head at all. That was creepy.

Creepy is not the word I would use. I would blame it on how oblivious you are.

Extra creepy, this thing could read my thoughts – as long as I didn’t think about sexy giants I was safe. I cringed. I was thinking about sexy giants by thinking about not thinking about sexy giants. I was such an idiot.

Ravenclaw will not suit you, clearly. His tone sounded quite mocking, not indifferent in any way. I would happily slap this hat if I could – well technically I could, but not without looking like a fool.

Well, you have some sense at least. The hat added, clearly still listening in on my thoughts. And a mixture of bravery, at least you considered hitting me, but still foolish – and for purely selfish reasons.

I could always get him later; no one would have to know.

Cunning and sly, I see – yes, I sensed that about you from the beginning. And Hufflepuff simply won’t do, though you do seem quite loyal, but there’s something not quite right…

I felt myself frown. For the first time since the Sorting Hat had started talking, he now sounded confused and ever so slightly intrigued.

I didn’t like that at all.

I knew only a minute had passed, but I felt like I had been connected with this hat for a lot longer. The hat wasn’t speaking to me anymore; it was thinking. Whether that was a good sign or not, it didn’t feel right.

You are different.

Sortie said no more, just that. Well that was encouraging, what the hell was I supposed to make of that? I knew I was different, but I knew it was better to be different than boring – someone had told me that, I just couldn’t remember who. My head began to ache again. Damn hat.

It is not I that is to blame for the pain in your head, I think you will find that that runs much deeper.

What was that supposed to mean? I had been getting headaches ever since I had come here, and I couldn’t remember if I had not before that. All I cared about was that my head hurt – I disliked pain. And it didn’t help that I had an obnoxious hat on my head, when I would be better off with an ice pack – couldn’t he just hurry up and sort me already?

It is not as simple as that Miss Blakely – you do not belong here, you are not from this world.

I rolled my eyes, I knew that already.

You are much more selfish than I anticipated, Sortie continued. What had I done to be selfish, huh? This hat barely knew me, he decides to plonk himself on my head and make assumptions about me.

I did not decide anything, and I do not make assumptions. It is you who came to me, which is why you are selfish. Before I could ask what the hell he was going on about: You knew that you didn’t belong here and yet you expect me to fit you into a puzzle that was never meant for you.

Are you calling me a puzzle piece now?

Nevertheless, this school will adapt, as it always has done – and it will adapt when you leave. And that was supposed to mean…?

Know this Miss Blakely, you will have a decision to make and it will not be as easy as you think.

This hat had really lost me now, and it was still on my head. But I could feel its presence leaving me, so I didn’t get a chance to ask what he was getting at. Hat’s confused me. Magical, talking ones at least.

‘BLAKELY!’ I felt the hat tremble above me as it yelled out my name.

Why was it yelling out my name? Yell out Gryffindor, or Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff – for goodness sake, I would even take Slytherin – I looked good in green.

But the Sorting Hat did not call out any of those houses names but shouted once more.

‘A new House – Blakely!’

I told you did not belong here. Hogwarts will adapt to your… uniqueness.

Excuse me?



My exams haven't finished, but this was a nice reward for the little revision I have done.

This chapter was a tad confusing - but basically, the Sorting Hat has created a new House for George to have all to herself. Yes I know it goes against everything that we all know and love about Hogwarts - but this is an AU after all ;)

I quite like-liked this chapter, so hope you like-liked it too ;) 

Please leave a review, it's such a nice thing to receive - so thanks to everyone who has been :D 

Emily x 

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