Chapter 1 : Angel
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Quote: I never got to say I love you as much has I wanted to.
Song: Difficult by Eminem.
The light blinded Tonks, too bright to be from the sun; and she raised her hand to hide her eyes, though they were already closed. But when she opened her eyes, the light was gone, disappeared as if never having been there in the first place.
Feeling different, Tonks lowered her hand slowly, caressing the right side of her face, going over every detail in her head. Her skin was soft, flawless, her hair was lying straight against her cheek. Her hand lowered to her shoulders; she felt loose straps. Tonks looked down; a dress.
Do I wear dresses? She couldn’t remember.
She moved her hands down her dress, studying it; bright white and loose fitting. Tonks noticed she wasn’t wearing shoes, but when she looked, she saw that her feet were clean, like she was in a house and not standing in a field. It confused her.
It was as if she had never been fighting.
Fighting. The war.
Tonks remembered; she had been fighting in the battle at Hogwarts with the Order, with the teachers, with students. She had been fighting against the wishes of her husband.
She remembered him; Remus John Lupin, her husband. He had not wanted her to fight, wanted him to stay at home with her child. Their child, their son, named after her Father.
What had happened? Did they win? Did they lose? Tonks couldn’t remember.
Taking in her surroundings again, hoping it would help, she noticed she was home. The home she lived in with her parents; Ted and Andromeda Tonks. Remembering her Dad, Tonks felt tears run from her eyes. She went to wipe them away but none were falling.
A child’s laughter came from her side and she turned. She saw him. She saw him for the first time. The little boy was playing by the front door, swinging a toy action figure in the air. She saw his hair change from blonde to blue to lilac. Tonks laughed, filled with joy, though she did not know why. Seeing your little boy play and laugh was normal for Mothers. Wasn’t it?
“Teddy!” Tonks called him. She wanted to hug him, hold him tight and never let go.
For the first time. The thought left as quickly as it came. It confused her. She was so confused lately.
Teddy looked up at the mention of his name and grinned. He stood up and ran towards her.
Tonks ignored her confusion and smiled with him, proud to hear the words. She held out her arms to him. But he never came.
She turned as Teddy ran past her and into the arms of another woman. Tonks took note of her red hair, bright brown eyes and kind, loving face.
Tonks moved closer, both angry and scared and, now, confused more than ever.
“I love you, Mummy,” she heard him whisper. It made her heart ache that he wasn’t saying it to her. How did he not see her?
Watching Teddy closely, she looked up when he did. She saw him come closer and closer to them; his messy black hair was made worse by the light wind. She noticed Ginny push her hair out of her eyes because of the wind and Teddy’s move to the left. But the wind wasn't affecting her, she couldn’t feel it, she had barely noticed until he came.
She watched Teddy open up his arms to him and Harry lifted him up in the air before hugging him tightly. “Did you miss me?”
Teddy nodded enthusiastically, “yes, Daddy.”
That was Remus. Just as she was his Mother; not Ginny.
“Go say good bye to Grandma and we’ll go home,” Harry said, putting Teddy down.
How can they not see me?
The next thing Tonks knew, she was Grimmauld Place. She knew it was, though there had been changes to it.
How did I get here? Did I Apparate? She… Couldn’t remember. Tonks rolled her eyes and scoffed at that. She couldn’t seem to remember anything.
“Pick a story for Bed, Teddy,” Harry shouted as he went up the stairs. “I’m coming.”
Tonks followed him to Teddy’s room. She stayed near the door as Harry sat on the bed. She noticed his confused face. “I’m glad to see it on somebody else for a change,” she murmured, not expecting them to hear her since they couldn’t see her.
“Do you not want a story, mate?”
Teddy nodded. “Tell me again.”
Tonks knew Harry knew what Teddy was talking about by the way he sighed; a mixture of sadness and anger. Though she was sure the anger wasn’t directed at the boy. “Are you sure?”
“Yes,” Teddy whispered.
“Once upon a time,” Harry began. “There was an evil sorcerer who wanted to rid the world of people who he deemed unworthy to live in his world. And only one boy could stop him.”
“You,” Teddy pointed to him.
“Yes,” Harry replied. “But even though only the boy had to be the one to stop, he had help from his friends. His brilliant friends who would never leave him alone, no matter how much he tried and they fought the evil sorcerer’s minions while the boy fought the sorcerer.
“The boy was very grateful to them but very sad when it was over.”
Harry moved closer and wiped the boy’s hair back; he had heard this story so many times, yet he still asked as if it were his first time. “Because some friends had to go away and I won’t get to see them for awhile; it makes me sad.”
Teddy shook his head, “but they never really leave.” He took the picture from his bedside table and hugged it tightly. Tonks stepped closer to the bed to see the picture; it was of her and Remus and Teddy just after he was born.
He does know us.
“That’s right,” Harry whispered. “They’ll always be with us. We can’t see them but I bet they can see us.”
Tonks gasped; did he know?
“They’re watching us from heaven,” Teddy said. Tonks knew what he was talking about from what her Dad told her. She guessed that Hermione must have told Teddy.
Tonks knew now what was happening. “We died, Remus.”
That was why Teddy was with Harry and Ginny; they were taking care of him for them. They were his parents now. Loving parents who made sure he knew about herself and her husband. Tonks knew she wouldn’t have picked anyone better.
Harry nodded, “they are. They’re angels now, watching over you, Teddy.” He kissed the little boy on the forehead, wiped his tears away and said good night. He closed the door when the boy fell asleep.
Tonks came over and sat on his bed, as close as she could, and lay a hand on his head. He smiled slowly at her touch and held on to the picture tightly. “I love you so much, Baby,” she whispered. “My little boy. I never got to say I love you as much as I wanted to but now I know that you know I do.
“It makes me sad that I can’t say it to your face and that you can’t say it back to me. But you will one day, when we see each other again. But, hopefully, that won’t be too soon. Until then, I’ll be here, watching over you and keeping you safe. Your angel.”
The light came again, brighter than before. But Tonks did not hide from it, not this time. She welcomed its warmth and watched as he stepped out. “Remus.”
Remus held out his hand, “he’s safe now.”
Tonks turned back to Teddy. “Good night, Sweetheart. I love you.”
Tonks stood up and took her husband’s hand, letting him pull her gently and hold her tight. “I have missed you,” he whispered. “Everything’s okay.”
They pulled back and she followed him, believing his soothing words. As they left, Tonks heard Teddy whisper, “I love you too.”
Then the light faded.