“Hi James.” I said greeting James in a quite manner.
It was going to hurt, and I didn’t want him to think that I was happy about what I was going to do. Richard was also another matter, he had warned me against hurting James, but maybe what I was about to do was the lesser of two evils?
“Hello love,” he said taking me in his arms and placing a light peck on my left cheek.
“James, can we talk please?” I asked sheepishly.
He was caught off guard. A look of worry spread across his face, but soon was replaced by a nonplussed look. For all of James apparent innocence, it was clear that James was both a good actor and a good liar. But his emotions were sometimes clear as day on his face.
“Yeah, sure.” He said.
I took James by the hand and led him through the common room and out the portrait hole. We walked along the corridor for a few seconds; I stopped when we reached an alcove.
“James...” I was just about to break the news to him when someone let out a breathy gasp.
We both looked for the source of the gasp; it came from a broom cupboard on the opposite wall to us.
James gave me a knowing look and I took a step forward.
I pulled my wand “Alohomora!” I whispered and the lock slipped back.
I could feel James just behind me, I turned to him.
“On the count of three...one...two...” I mouthed “three”
I wrenched to door open and instantly regretted it.
Okay James and I knew it would be Sam, but I wasn’t counting of Rose being in there with him.
Quickly the tomato red Rose buttoned up her shirt and tried to neaten her messy hair.
There was an awkward moment where James and Rose and Sam just stared at each other. I could see that I would have to remove James out of the equation; otherwise I would never get to talk to him.
I pulled James by the hand and dragged him down the corridor.
“James, focus, I need to tell you something.” I said nervously.
James had seethed for a good ten minutes before calming down and retuning his attention back to me and my ‘news’.
Finding Sam with Rose was never a good thing. For a start Sam would mess her around and he was still going out with Natalia, who you should never get on the bad side of. To make matters worse Rose had let Sam get his hands all over her, which James also did not like.
But James’s seething gave me time to collect my thoughts and think of what to say and how to go about it. James was a sensitive person who got offended easily. This was proved very clear by our last Quidditch match against Slytherin. One of the chasers shouted at James that he was a
“Crap flyer and had the same skill as a Centaur on roller skates.”
James did not take this well, and at the end of the match he threw a beaters bat towards the team (obviously missing) and then storming off to the changing room. It took Fred an hour to calm him down and get him to come out. The Gryffindors’ were waiting for him to return to the common room and had a party on hold.
“James...oh Merlin, how am I supposed to do this.” I mumbled, fiddling with my bottom lip.
James took my hands and held the gently in his larger hands. His hands were slightly rough and had calluses on them; this was probably from his flying.
“Rachael, look at me.” my eyes flashed up from our hands, where they had been staring.
His face was sincere and knowing. James, for all his faults, could read the opposite sex like a book. It was probably due to the fact that his family was full of very loud and influential women.
I grimaced and opened my mouth again.
“James... I’m not sure...not sure that we.” I paused, and looked into James’s eyes.
It was so hard, so hard to break his heart.
“It doesn’t feel right, there is something missing.” I said, frowning deeply and screwing up my eyes.
“Go on,” James said, pursing his lip and grimacing slightly.
“I’m not sure about us, I want there to be an ‘us’ but right now it doesn’t feel right.” I tried to smile, but my face would not comply.
“I see,” James spluttered.
“I need to; I don’t want to say it, but where I am and where we are.”
It was so cliché but it was true, I needed some clarity in life and James was getting in the way.
James let go of my hands and started to walk back to the portrait hole.
“But James, I don’t want it to end. I... I....I love you.” I had finally said it, yes I loved James, but right now we couldn’t be together and I had just torn his heart from his chest and stamped on it.
He looked round at me, his eyes were glistening slightly.
Only once had I seen James cry and that was when he was seven and fell over and cracked his head open on the patio.
“James don’t cry; you’ll make me cry.” I walked up to him and placed my hand on his cheek.
“I won’t,” he sniffed.
“When you get back from your holiday I will be waiting. James I love you and I need you, but sometimes...” I trailed off, not knowing what to say.
James nodded, wiping a tear away from his eye. I let my hand fall from his face and pulled him into a tight hug.
“Now, what are we going to do about Rose and Sam?” I asked, changing the subject.
“Well Sam needs a good kicking and Rose, well Rose should be ashamed and should probably never show her face round me again” James said, narrowing his eyes.
“How about we both go have a word with Sam and I corner Rose later and have a girly heart-to-heart.” I said chuckling at James how was frowning rather like a constipated child.
There was something awkward now about how the two of us interacted, but it was easier than when we were in a relationship.
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