Chapter 20 : Opening Up
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“Because I have already said what I had to.” I replied, as I got up from the table. “The ball is in his court, and if Draco wants to talk, then he better come to me!” I said, loud enough for the Sytherin table to hear. Draco seemed to hear me, since he looked up from his plate. I stared at him for a minute before I stomped off into the Entrance Hall and outside to the lake. I sat down by the big oak tree and waited. After a few minutes I figured he wasn’t going to come after all, but then I saw him walk towards me. I sighed and rested my head on the tree, waiting him to say something.
“Hey,” he said. ‘Hey’? All he says is ‘hey’?! I gave him a nod and he sighed and sat in front of me. He started to play with the grass, but soon spoke up. “Look, I’m sorry that I drank. I know I promised you that I wouldn’t, and…”
“It’s not about the drinking. Heck, I expected you to drink.” I interrupted. He shot his head up at looked at me in confusion.
“It’s not? Then what is it about?” I sighed, preparing myself for the long speech.
“Do you know how hard it was for me to see other girls flirting with you? It was the hardest thing ever. Part of me knew that you wouldn’t do anything, and part of me wanted to beat the living crap out of them for touching you. It’s not jealousy; okay maybe it is a little, but I have a right to get sort of jealous, don’t I? It’s just when I saw the Beauxbatons girl, it brought me back to Christmas Eve when she kissed you. Ever since that night, I’ve felt insecure about our relationship; asking myself if you really love me.” He scooted himself closer to me, and leaned down so our faces were almost touching.
“There’s no reason to feel insecure,” he said in a soft voice. “Don’t ever doubt the way I feel about you. I love you. Nothing in the world can change that whatsoever.”
“Not even a sexy French girl?” I asked, feeling small under his glance.
“She’s not sexy; you are. But no, not even her. I love you more than anything in the world, Natalie. Please never doubt that.” The way he said ‘please’ melted my heart. It was almost as if he was pleading. I smiled and relaxed a bit.
“Really?” He rolled his eyes and leaned back a bit.
“I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it! I mean everything I ever say to you.”
“Even when we fight and your temper gets away with you?” I asked with a raised eyebrow.
“Well….” I laughed. He smiled and held out his arms to which I immediately jumped into. He held me tight to him and kissed me on the forehead. “I love you,” he said, his voice tender and soft.
“I love you too.” He smiled.
“Remember how I promised you on Christmas Eve how I would never leave you?” I nodded. “I plan on keeping that promise.”
We sat by the lake for another twenty minutes before heading back into the castle. We decided to the Sytherin common room, and we soon found that it was a mistake because Pansy was there. “Potter,” she sneered.
“Parkinson.” She rolled her eyes and left up the stairs to her dormitory. Draco and I proceeded to the couch, and I sat on his lap. He put his arms around my waist and I leaned my head back on his shoulder. “I’m sorry,” I said for the millionth time since we made up. He chuckled and kissed me on the neck.
“How many times are you going to say that?”
“Until I stop feeling like an idiot for thinking like I did.” He sighed.
“You’re not an idiot. If anyone’s an idiot, it’s me. I mean, I am sort of the reason you felt that way.” I turned around so I was straddling him and kissed him. He smiled. “What was that for?”
“For being an awesome boyfriend, and the fact that I haven’t been able to do that in three days. Longest three days of my life!” He laughed and kissed me back.
“Oh how I missed this.” he mumbled against my lips. I broke away and stared at him.
“You had plenty of time beforehand to come and talk to me. Why didn’t you?” He sighed.
“I don’t know. I figured that you needed your space and I gave it to you.” I turned back around and snuggled close to him. “Do you want to stay here with me tonight?”
“You share a dorm with a bunch of guys though.”
“No, actually I don’t. Father pulled a full strings, donated some money, and I got my own private room.”
“What, did he think that you were too good to share a room?” He laughed.
“I guess, but I like the privacy.” I thought it over for a minute.
“Sure, I’ll stay. But I don’t have any clothes or pj’s.”
“Oh don’t worry about that. I brought some things from the Room of Requirement for you.”
“When did you do that?”
“A few weeks ago; just in case this came up earlier.” I nodded and yawned. “It looks like somebody’s tired. Do you want to go up then?” I shook my head no, but I yawned again. “Come on, love.” I stood up as did Draco, and he took my hand and led me upstairs. He opened the door to his room, and my mouth made an “o.” There was a king-size bed near the far corner, and he had a big hot tub right smack in the center of the room. He had a bookcase full of books on the far wall, and he had a huge arse bathroom. His closet, well let’s just say that it was big enough to fit an elephant. I noticed that there was a whole section that only had my stuff in it. There were a few things that were wrapped, but I didn’t inquire about them. “What do you think?” I was speechless. Only after a few more seconds did I answer.
“It is absolutely amazing!” He smiled.
“Do you want to shower? Your clothes are in the closet.” I nodded and he led me over and handed me some pajamas. He then led me into the bathroom and showed me how everything worked. Then he left and let me do my thing.
After I was done showering, I came out to find Draco lying in the bed. I just stared at him and took in his beauty. His eyes were the most beautiful grey color, and his hair was the perfect shade of blonde for his pale skin. His muscles were toned perfectly, thanks to Quidditch. I felt incredibly lucky that I was his, and he was mine. He was reading a book and when he realized someone was staring at him, he looked up and smiled at me. “Are you just going to stand there all night or are you going to join me?” I shrugged and kept standing there staring at him. He smirked, put down his book, and started walking towards me. He grabbed my waist and looked at me with those beautiful grey eyes. “You like what you see?” he asked, clearly amused. I nodded slowly, and he kissed me so softly that it was not even noticeable. He grabbed my hand and led me over to the bed. His bed was so comfy; I felt that I was on a cloud. I cuddled up to him, and he wrapped his arm around me and began to stroke my arm. I sighed, not wanting to go to sleep.
“I hope I don’t have another nightmare.” I said.
“I’m right here, don’t worry.” Draco said. I smiled and fell into a deep sleep with my head lying on Draco’s chest.
I woke up the next morning, so glad that I didn’t have any nightmares about some man killing my children. Honestly, I have no idea why I started dreaming about that. Is it a sign that something may happen in the future? Will I marry Draco and have kids with him? I pushed those thoughts out of my head and looked up to see Draco still sleeping. He looked like an angel with the sunlight shining through the window. I would’ve loved to stay lying in bed in Draco’s arms all day, but we did have classes to attend. “Draco, wake up!” I sang in his ear. He moaned and opened his eyes.
“We have to go to classes today, don’t we?” I nodded. He moaned again and started to untangle himself from the sheets. “Do you want to use the bathroom first?”
“No, you go ahead.” He nodded and made his way into the bathroom to shower. I got out of bed and went over to the bookcase to find a book to read. An old leather book caught my eye and I opened it. My curiosity got the best of me so I began to read the elegant writing.
The mission today was a success. We managed to find out where they were hiding the boy. Our spy informed us that there was a girl as well, but the Dark Lord wasn’t all that interested in her. I don’t see why, though. She is as much as a threat as the boy. I voiced my opinion to the Dark Lord and he just told me that she could be useful to us. I don’t know what he meant by that, but I guess I will just have to wait to find out. Narcissa informed me that Draco performed his first bit of magic today. Oh, I would’ve loved to see that.
I realized that I was reading Lucius Malfoy’s journal. I ran my fingers through the pages and saw that he had a lot written. I came across a rather long entry and began to read.
Draco has just come home for Christmas and informed me that Potter’s younger sister had begun her first year of Hogwarts. He told me that she indeed was a powerful witch, just like I had thought. The Dark Lord should’ve finished her off when he had the chance. He should’ve done her in before Potter himself. I told Draco that he should keep his eye on the young Potter girl and inform me on anything about her. He inquired why, and I told him just to do as I say. He didn’t listen of course. He told me that the girl, Natalie he said her name is, is a caring, charming girl and that he might like her. When I heard him say that, I went ballistic and shot a Cruciatus Curse at him. His screams echoed through the Manor…..
The entry went on, but I couldn’t bring myself to read the rest. Lucius used one of the Unforgivable Curses on his own son? What kind of man does that sort of cruel act? How could he change from a loving father proud of his son to a cruel man who didn’t give a damn? I was quickly brought out of my thoughts by the sound of the bathroom door opening. I shoved the book back onto the shelf and turned to see Draco rubbing a towel in his hair. He just had his boxers on. “You can use the bathroom now,” he said as he walked into the closet to get dressed. I wanted to talk about the journal with him, but figured I shouldn’t just in case he got angry with me. I went in the bathroom and brushed my hair and teeth and did my make-up. I walked out and joined Draco in the closet to get my robes. “No shower?” he asked. I shook my head.
“I took one last night, remember?” He nodded as I walked out of the closet with my robes so I could get dressed.
Twenty minutes later, Draco and I were walking down the corridor to the Great Hall. “You’re rather quiet this morning, is there anything wrong?”
“No, I just have some stuff on my mind.”
“What kind of stuff?” I looked down at the floor and didn’t answer him. “Nat…”
“Nat, Draco! Over here!” I heard Blaise call. I snapped my head up and smiled. I jogged over to him and Rose. “So, you two have made up I take it?” Blaise asked. I nodded and he smiled. “Good. I’ve never seen Draco that miserable in my life.”
“He was miserable?” I asked, astonished.
“Yeah, he couldn’t stop talking about how not being around you killed him inside every day. I just told him to grow a pair and talk to you already, which apparently he did.” By this time, Draco caught up to me.
“Nat, what’s on your mind?”
“So, how are you Rose?” I asked, ignoring Draco’s question.
“I’m great, thanks. What about yourself?”
“I’m perfectly fine. Did I tell you that I made up with Harry?” I replied as we started walking again.
“No! When did you?” Rose asked.
“New Year’s Day; right after I got back from the Leaky Cauldron.” She smiled.
“That’s great, Nat.” I smiled back.
“Yeah, I guess it is. I just hope he doesn’t go back to his old controlling ways.”
“If he does though, you can always smack him around a bit.” I laughed as we sat down at the Sytherin table. I grabbed a piece of toast and poured myself a glass of pumpkin juice. I tried to seem oblivious to the fact that Draco was staring at me the whole time I was eating, but I finally gave in and looked at him.
“You’re not telling me something,” was all he said. I sighed.
“Can we talk about this tonight?” He looked at me curiously, but nodded. “Okay, well I got to get to Charms, so I’ll see you at lunch.” I got up from the table, gave him a quick kiss, and ran over to the Gryffindor table to meet up with Ginny.
All my classes were horrible. Since the holidays are over, the professors are really getting on our butts about the end of term exams. Heck, they are even going on about O.W.L.S. and they’re two years away! I have an essay to write for McGonagall, some spells to practice for Flitwick, and a super long Potions project to work on with Colin Creevy. I don’t mind Potions, considering it’s my favorite class, but I’m not too happy to have to work with Colin considering he’s a dunce at Potions. That means I have to do practically all the work and watch him carefully so he doesn’t screw everything up. I have absolutely no idea why Snape paired me up with Colin, but he has his reasons, so I didn’t ask. Maybe I should ask when I go to my meeting with him on Thursday. He moved it two days back because of all the homework I have to do.
I was sitting in Draco’s room waiting for him to get back from his detention with Moody. What he did, I have no idea. He wouldn’t tell me, which means it was probably bad or he just pulled one too many pranks on first years. I was really quite nervous about telling Draco about what I found this morning because I didn’t want him to get mad at me. He’ll probably scream at me about how I had no right to read the journal in the first place. I hate when he yells, and I don’t want to get into another fight so soon after we made up from our last one. Hopefully he won’t get mad. I pray to Merlin he doesn’t get mad.
The door creaked open and Draco pulled me into a hug and kissed me. “Hello, gorgeous.”
“Hi, how was detention?”
“Oh, it was horrible. Moody had me cleaning out all of the animal cages without magic.” I laughed.
“Oh, that sounds so torturous.” He gave me a small glare, but then smiled.
“I would like to see you clean out all those snake cages.” I rolled my eyes and he chuckled. “So, did you have something to tell me?” Draco asked. I took a deep breath and sat down on the bed. He followed my actions, looking confused as ever.
“While you were taking a shower this morning, I wanted to find a book to read and I came across your father’s journal.”
His eyes filled with horror. “Did you read it?” I sighed.
“I didn’t mean to. My damn curiosity got the best of me.” The horror in his eyes was replaced with anger and he clenched his jaw.
“You had no right to….”
“I know I didn’t. I’m sorry. But if you didn’t want anybody to read it, why keep it in your bookcase?” He looked away and didn’t say anything. I sighed. “Look Draco, I truly am sorry for reading it. But I have a few concerns.” He looked at me again, but his expression was pleading; like he didn’t want me to talk anymore. I sighed. “Why would he do something like that to you?” He hung his head and took a shaky breath. I guessed he was reliving some memory. After a minute or so, he looked up at me emotionless.
“That’s the only way he knew how to deal with it, I suppose.”
“Deal with what?”
“My disobedience, I think. He’s done it on several occasions, so it’s no big deal.”
“Wait, he’s tortured you more than once? What, is it like his daily ritual or something?!” I said; my voice raising.
“Nat, don’t get angry. He hasn’t done it in a couple years, and he’s apologized. I’ve forgiven him. It’s in the past.” I shook my head.
“I just don’t get how a man can do that to his own son.”
“Look Nat, he isn’t the evil man you think he is. He does have a heart.”
“I’ll believe it when I see it.” I said. He chuckled and kissed my temple. “But why keep it in your bookcase?” He sighed.
“Father gave it to me when I came to Hogwarts first year. He told me to read it and feel all the pride and glory that a Malfoy should have when serving the Dark Lord. For a while, I wanted to be exactly like my father in every aspect. I wanted to be the Dark Lord’s most faithful servant. I wanted to be the best Death Eater that I could. But then you came to Hogwarts, and things changed. I saw you and how you were so happy and carefree. I saw how Potter was protecting you, and how you resisted. I remember overhearing him telling you to stay away from me because I was evil. I remember how you argued with him, seeing as nobody in the world could be as evil as that. I even remember you telling him that I was as evil as Snape was. Since you didn’t see Snape as an evil git, you didn’t think that I was evil. And then I realized that everything that my father and the Death Eaters stood for was evil and cruel. I couldn’t live like that then, could I? So, I just stashed the book in the bookcase and never took another glance at it. I forgot it was even there until you mentioned it.”
“I was your turning point?” I asked. He chuckled at my tone and nodded. He leaned down to kiss me and our lips met. I couldn’t believe the fact that this amazing guy, Draco Malfoy, was inspired by me, plain old Natalie Potter. He changed his whole view on life because of one thing I said. I relived the memory of my and Harry’s discussion that day.
“Natalie,” Harry said. I looked at him curiously. He only said my full name when he had something important to tell me.
“I’ve noticed that you’ve been trying to get friendly with the Sytherins. You shouldn’t. They’re an evil lot; especially Malfoy.”
“Why are they evil just because they are Sytherins?” He sighed.
“Just trust me. Not one witch or wizard comes out of that house as a good person.”
“Why?” He groaned.
“Do you have to question everything?! Why can’t you just trust me?”
“I need to see things for myself. And so far, I haven’t seen any sign that Sytherins are evil.”
“They are! Just stay away from them; especially Malfoy. He’s the evilest one of them.”
“How can you say without getting to know him?” I asked, getting annoyed at Harry by the second.
“I have gotten to know him! He calls Hermione the ‘M’ word and he’s an arrogant, self-centered….”
“Harry, just shut up! I haven’t seen any evidence that Draco Malfoy is an evil person, so as far as I know, he’s as evil as Snape!” Harry growled at me, and he walked away. As I went in the other direction to my Potions class, I could swear I saw a flash of blonde hair running away.
Draco and I were lying in bed, all cuddled up. I decided to stay with him in his room again, which he was very happy about. I still couldn’t get over the fact that I was the reason that Draco turned his back on the Death Eater life. But what made me happier was that he decided to open up and tell me things that I knew he struggled with. I felt as if he could trust me as equally as I could trust him. “What are you thinking about?” he asked.
“My amazing boyfriend.” He chuckled and shortly after I fell asleep to his slow, steady breathing.
A/N: Hey everybody! How do you like the chapter? What do you think of the whole Draco changing his views thing? Lucius? Draco’s room? I thought that this chapter was necessary, but for some reason it doesn’t seem as good as others. Let me know what you think please!!
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