Chapter 5 : Epiphany
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The golden stag stood at the edge of the trees, his head held high, his posture erect and vain. It had a powerful frame which seemed to rev with energy, and though Lily had never seen a stag, she was sure this one was at least twice the size they usually were. She inched forward, wanting to touch that gleaming coat, but still scared it would run away.
But it didn’t. Lily approached slowly, a little apprehensive, but the way the intelligent whiskey-colored eyes gazed at her, she knew it wouldn’t harm her. She knew somehow this wasn’t an ordinary stag. Its gaze was intent on her face, the posture unwavering. There was only a flicker of apprehension in its eyes, but then that too was gone.
It bowed that mighty head when she approached, carefully keeping its antlers away from her out-stretched hand.
It licked her hand.
Lily jumped, she couldn’t help the jolt. The moistness on her hand disappeared immediately, and the stag turned tail and ran away from her.
“No wait,” she cried after it. “Don’t go. I…I am sorry. I didn’t mean to…”
There was no use. It was gone.
Lily turned to go back into the house, shaking her head. Of course, she had scared the beast. Animals as magnificent and beautiful as that were not meant to be tamed. They were wild and free creatures, who stayed if they really liked or loved you.
And where the hell had that come from?
“MISS LILY! HELP!”
Dee-Dee skidded to a halt in front of Lily, out of breath and near tears. Lily’s heart shuddered once, then apparently stopped working. “What happened Dee-Dee? Where does it hurt?”
“I bwoke it…I bwoke Cousin Jim’s diary…”
She then put out her little hands, one carrying a thick, leather-bound book, and the other, a torn page. “I bwoke it… Cousin Jim wasn’t in his room and the diary was on the bed, and I was tryin to stick the potrate on the wall… and I stepped on it…it bwoke…”
“It is not bwoke—err, broke—Dee-Dee. It is just torn. I can easily fix that!”
“You c-can?” Dee-Dee sniffled. “Pwease, Miss Lily? Will ya fix Cousin Jim’s diary for me? It’s real spec-spe…special, it is for her. Dweam Girl. For the girl he lowes…”
Lily looked at her. “What?”
Dee-Dee nodded, ready to help. “My Cousin George, you know, came over and Cousin Jim talked to her a lot. She looks like a boy, you know, just…she isn’t. Anyway, she tell Cousin Jim to stop pet—no, per…erm—pestring—there!—pestring her and write down stuff he feel like twelling her. And… well, that’s his writing diary and… and he’s—he’s gonna hate me now!” Dee-Dee dissolved back into tears.
Lily smoothed the child’s fears. “There, there. I am gonna fix this in a jiffy. You go into the garden now, and play. Take Pinky with you. Did James say where he was going?”
“Uh-huh,” said the little girl, shaking her head so that her piggy tails shook merrily. Then she ran off to play, certain that Miss Lily was going to put everything right.
Lily repaired the diary with a simple Reparo, then just gazed the cover. The cover said, ‘Becoming Worthy of Her’.
She knew she shouldn’t read it. She shouldn’t read a private diary. Besides, who knew what kind of kinky thoughts he would have put in there? She was even apprehensive towards the kind of man she would find in there. All through the summer James had been challenging her idea of the kind of man he was, and she was afraid that if she opened the diary she would find no reason to hate him anymore.
But her fingers turned the book open. She could have sworn she did not consciously do it, but she was busy reading...
The two words were scratched out.
Right. Here’s the deal. George told me to write stuff down in a conversational lingo, and I am writing it down. I really wanna say all this to Evans, but… I know she will make me eat my own balls if I try. Besides, I am scared shitless of her answer. What am I gonna do if she laughs at my feelings? Being in love is a whole new bloody territory for me, and well, I don’t know what to do. So, here goes. If this doesn’t work out, I am gonna skin George’s hide and feed it to her, because writing in a diary feels like being a school-girl with a crush.
Well, here goes nothing. Except my ego.
I don’t wanna embarrass or harass or stalk you, Lily. Its just that… I blurt stuff out before really thinking about what I am saying in your vicinity. You bring it out in me.
And that slimeball Snivellus… why should he be allowed to touch you when I cannot? Why do you smile at him and not at me? Not anymore, though. But let’s talk about that prick later.
I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.
I love you fifty times more than the fifty times that I have written this.
I want you. I need you to love me back. I don’t know what I could do without you. I would give up the world just to see you smile. I don’t need anything else, Lily, as long as you’re with me. You mean the world to me. All I am is because of you. I gave my O.W.L.s because it was a very responsible thing to do, and you are the kind of girl who likes responsible men. I think.
I don’t wanna be A guy in your life, I wanna be THE guy.
Phew. Talk about baring your soul.
“MERLIN’S BLOOMING BLOOMERS!”
Lily started, and looked up to see two thoroughly panicked hazel eyes gazing at her. James snatched the diary from her hands, and said, “Forget that, it’s just a joke. I…”
The rest of his sentence drowned when Lily jumped up from her easy-chair and kissed him.
James couldn’t stop his reaction. How many weeks, months— hell, years—had he dreamed of kissing his Lily? Now that the time had come, Lily, who had perhaps gone bonkers and flipped, was really kissing him.
Then the rest of James’ brain cells fried, and all he could do was feel. Feel the way Lily’s tongue danced with his, and the way that feisty little body fitted to his. Feel, rather than hear, the low hum of appreciation in her throat.
Appreciation. For him. Well, for his kissing. Same thing.
At last she lifted her head, tilting it back to look into his eyes.
“I love you too, you moronic idiot. I love the way you cuddle your mother and cousin, I love the way you don’t let Pinky work too long, I love the way you… I love the way you love me. Now stop gaping and kiss me with that excellent mouth.”
And he did.
AUTHOR’S NOTE : - Yipee! James is happy, and I am happy. I finished it. I finished my first bigger-than-a-one-shot fan fic. Awesome!
Please review, people. Please.